Title: Force Song
Author: ewan's girl
Summary: Obi Wan reflects on the loses in his life, and the Force sings to him, telling him that he is never alone.
Disclaimer: The almighty one George Lucas owns all, I'm glad he lets us play in his sandbox. The song is "My immortal" by EvaneScence.
Author's note: This is a songfic that wouldn't leave me alone, I am going through a really hard time in my life and this gave me some inspiration for some reason. I am not very good at writing songfics so I hope this one is ok. I promise I will get back to my other stories, don't worry.
// is Obi Wan's part of the song.
/ is the Force singing.
*************
The 25 year old newly knighted Obi Wan Kenobi stared blankly at the rising flames. His mind screamed at him, telling him what was happening, but his heart didn't want to believe it. He slid deeper inside his cloak; he didn't want the council to see his threatening tears.
'What do I do now?' He thought to himself.
He had already promised the boy standing next to him that he would train him in the ways of the Jedi, but his insecurities threatened to consume him. 'I'm not strong enough to train the Chosen One, how could he put all his faith in me like that?'
//I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears//.
He continued to watch the fire eat greedily at the flesh of his former master, his father. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. He cursed himself for letting his grief get the best of him. 'This is not how a Jedi acts; get a hold of yourself Kenobi.'
He could feel him still, his presence in the Living Force was everywhere, or was that just Obi Wan's imagination? The wind blew through the funeral procession, blowing Obi Wan's hood off his head, he quickly returned it. With every fiber of his Force being he could still feel his master, and this caused him more grief than comfort.
//And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone//.
He watched the last of the embers fizzle out and go cold, yet he could not bring himself to move from that spot. He tore his gaze from the alter and found that everyone had retired for the evening, yet no one had offered their condolences to the broken padawan. Obi Wan was glad for that, he didn't want their sympathy, and he really couldn't handle "there is no death, only the Force" at the moment.
He tried to move, but his knees gave out and he fell to the ground. He brought himself to a sitting position and drew his knees to his chest. He felt his body shake from exhaustion. Qui Gon had been one with the Force for three days, and instead of taking the time to meditate and cast his grief into the Force he had busied himself with the last items of their mission. He had neglected himself of food and sleep. He felt that he couldn't stop, that if he stopped then he'd realize that Qui Gon was really gone.
//These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase//.
He at that moment felt alone. He knew when he returned to the Temple he would be wrapped in the arms of childhood friends such as Bant, Garen and maybe even Siri, but none of them would know what to say. He would still be alone. He didn't want them to see him like this; he certainly didn't want the council or his new apprentice to see him like this. He buried his head in his hands. 'Force help me.' He sighed to himself.
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of you fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me/.
He lifted his head, he felt a warm embrace touch him, yet no one was around. He shakily rose to his feet and listened to the Force, it sang to him with a sweet melody and he wrapped himself in its warmth. He still hurt from the death of his master, but he understood that the Force would guide him through it all.
*13 Years later*
The ash in the air clogged his lungs; the amber glow cast shadows across his aging face. The 38 year old Jedi master stared blankly as the fire consumed the grand Jedi Temple. He pulled his cloak tighter around him, to hide his face from the other beings gathered to watch the spectacle of the huge fire. His mind continued to scream at him to leave, to hide, but he could not bring himself to tear his vision away from the only home he'd ever known being ravaged by fire.
He closed his eyes tightly as he realized how many were left behind. How many wounded Jedi were now being burned alive. He felt tears threatening to spill, but his anger refused to grant them their wish. He thought he had lost himself when he had battled his apprentice and watched the promising Jedi fall to the depths of a volcano, but now he knew the man known as Obi Wan Kenobi was truly gone.
His thoughts returned to Anakin Skywalker. He remembered the 12 years they were a team, they had their differences sure, but he loved the boy as a brother in the Force and maybe even as a son. 'He had so much talent, so much love to give. . .what went wrong?'
//You used to captivate me by your resonating light//.
He then turned his thoughts to Anakin's newborn twins.
//But now I'm bound by the life you left behind//.
A sudden image flashed through his mind. A black, unforgiving mask stared at him, the mechanical breathing sending chills down his spine. He looked at the fire, and thought about this new turn of events. 'No, that creature is not Anakin.' He told himself. 'Anakin died on that volcano. . .I killed him.' Ben Kenobi felt a sudden pain go through his heart. He still remembered the look on Anakin's face as he fell to the lava pit below, his last words blaming his master for everything. That same image plagued him always, but now it was associated by the mask. . .that black mask.
//Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me//.
Because of him the Jedi were all but extinct, he failed Qui Gon in his last promise, and failed everyone he had ever loved.
//These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase//.
Suddenly he felt a familiar warm presence flow through him, but he tried to ignore it.
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me/.
He shook off the comfort that the Force was giving him, he didn't deserve its love and companionship.
//I've tried to tell myself that you're gone, and though you're still with me I've been alone all along//.
He quickly turned away from the fire and returned to his duties the only thing that would redeem him in his mind.
*20 Years later*
Ben Kenobi was gone. Nothing was left of him besides a crumpled old brown cloak on the ground and an abandoned light saber.
"No!" Luke Skywalker screamed. He ignored the shouts of the princess and the pilot and aimed for the man dressed in black armor. He had just met the man that had once been named Obi Wan Kenobi and had felt a strong connection to him in some way, he didn't know how and now he was gone. He suddenly felt alone.
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me/.
Luke felt a warm presence flow through him, he was confused by it, but found comfort in it. 'Ben?' He thought to himself.
//Run Luke Run//.
*Please review! I live on reviews.
Author: ewan's girl
Summary: Obi Wan reflects on the loses in his life, and the Force sings to him, telling him that he is never alone.
Disclaimer: The almighty one George Lucas owns all, I'm glad he lets us play in his sandbox. The song is "My immortal" by EvaneScence.
Author's note: This is a songfic that wouldn't leave me alone, I am going through a really hard time in my life and this gave me some inspiration for some reason. I am not very good at writing songfics so I hope this one is ok. I promise I will get back to my other stories, don't worry.
// is Obi Wan's part of the song.
/ is the Force singing.
*************
The 25 year old newly knighted Obi Wan Kenobi stared blankly at the rising flames. His mind screamed at him, telling him what was happening, but his heart didn't want to believe it. He slid deeper inside his cloak; he didn't want the council to see his threatening tears.
'What do I do now?' He thought to himself.
He had already promised the boy standing next to him that he would train him in the ways of the Jedi, but his insecurities threatened to consume him. 'I'm not strong enough to train the Chosen One, how could he put all his faith in me like that?'
//I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears//.
He continued to watch the fire eat greedily at the flesh of his former master, his father. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. He cursed himself for letting his grief get the best of him. 'This is not how a Jedi acts; get a hold of yourself Kenobi.'
He could feel him still, his presence in the Living Force was everywhere, or was that just Obi Wan's imagination? The wind blew through the funeral procession, blowing Obi Wan's hood off his head, he quickly returned it. With every fiber of his Force being he could still feel his master, and this caused him more grief than comfort.
//And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone//.
He watched the last of the embers fizzle out and go cold, yet he could not bring himself to move from that spot. He tore his gaze from the alter and found that everyone had retired for the evening, yet no one had offered their condolences to the broken padawan. Obi Wan was glad for that, he didn't want their sympathy, and he really couldn't handle "there is no death, only the Force" at the moment.
He tried to move, but his knees gave out and he fell to the ground. He brought himself to a sitting position and drew his knees to his chest. He felt his body shake from exhaustion. Qui Gon had been one with the Force for three days, and instead of taking the time to meditate and cast his grief into the Force he had busied himself with the last items of their mission. He had neglected himself of food and sleep. He felt that he couldn't stop, that if he stopped then he'd realize that Qui Gon was really gone.
//These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase//.
He at that moment felt alone. He knew when he returned to the Temple he would be wrapped in the arms of childhood friends such as Bant, Garen and maybe even Siri, but none of them would know what to say. He would still be alone. He didn't want them to see him like this; he certainly didn't want the council or his new apprentice to see him like this. He buried his head in his hands. 'Force help me.' He sighed to himself.
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of you fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me/.
He lifted his head, he felt a warm embrace touch him, yet no one was around. He shakily rose to his feet and listened to the Force, it sang to him with a sweet melody and he wrapped himself in its warmth. He still hurt from the death of his master, but he understood that the Force would guide him through it all.
*13 Years later*
The ash in the air clogged his lungs; the amber glow cast shadows across his aging face. The 38 year old Jedi master stared blankly as the fire consumed the grand Jedi Temple. He pulled his cloak tighter around him, to hide his face from the other beings gathered to watch the spectacle of the huge fire. His mind continued to scream at him to leave, to hide, but he could not bring himself to tear his vision away from the only home he'd ever known being ravaged by fire.
He closed his eyes tightly as he realized how many were left behind. How many wounded Jedi were now being burned alive. He felt tears threatening to spill, but his anger refused to grant them their wish. He thought he had lost himself when he had battled his apprentice and watched the promising Jedi fall to the depths of a volcano, but now he knew the man known as Obi Wan Kenobi was truly gone.
His thoughts returned to Anakin Skywalker. He remembered the 12 years they were a team, they had their differences sure, but he loved the boy as a brother in the Force and maybe even as a son. 'He had so much talent, so much love to give. . .what went wrong?'
//You used to captivate me by your resonating light//.
He then turned his thoughts to Anakin's newborn twins.
//But now I'm bound by the life you left behind//.
A sudden image flashed through his mind. A black, unforgiving mask stared at him, the mechanical breathing sending chills down his spine. He looked at the fire, and thought about this new turn of events. 'No, that creature is not Anakin.' He told himself. 'Anakin died on that volcano. . .I killed him.' Ben Kenobi felt a sudden pain go through his heart. He still remembered the look on Anakin's face as he fell to the lava pit below, his last words blaming his master for everything. That same image plagued him always, but now it was associated by the mask. . .that black mask.
//Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me//.
Because of him the Jedi were all but extinct, he failed Qui Gon in his last promise, and failed everyone he had ever loved.
//These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase//.
Suddenly he felt a familiar warm presence flow through him, but he tried to ignore it.
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me/.
He shook off the comfort that the Force was giving him, he didn't deserve its love and companionship.
//I've tried to tell myself that you're gone, and though you're still with me I've been alone all along//.
He quickly turned away from the fire and returned to his duties the only thing that would redeem him in his mind.
*20 Years later*
Ben Kenobi was gone. Nothing was left of him besides a crumpled old brown cloak on the ground and an abandoned light saber.
"No!" Luke Skywalker screamed. He ignored the shouts of the princess and the pilot and aimed for the man dressed in black armor. He had just met the man that had once been named Obi Wan Kenobi and had felt a strong connection to him in some way, he didn't know how and now he was gone. He suddenly felt alone.
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me/.
Luke felt a warm presence flow through him, he was confused by it, but found comfort in it. 'Ben?' He thought to himself.
//Run Luke Run//.
*Please review! I live on reviews.