Characters: Sam, Dean (no pairing)
Spoilers: 2x17 Heart
Disclaimer: Not my characters (but you knew that already).
Author's note: My first SPN fic, feedback highly appreciated, un-betaed.
Summary: The next ten minutes after they have one silver bullet less.
Her eyes are open and Sam closes the lids, there are no accusations beyond what is in his heart. A tear falls off and splats invisibly to the floor, breaking into tiny droplets.
Amidst the pain and the silent echoes of the future, Sam feels guilty for his tears. They are a reminder that he's still a man, flesh and blood, a creature of its own will and not a monster. No, he's worse than anything spawned in Hell: he's a human who should protect others, save them from this. Not do it to them.
---
Sam comes back to Dean, the gun hanging at his side like a black hole sucking the light from the room. From their souls.
Dean has wiped the tear away, forming a shell over his heart, being strong for his brother's sake. They can't both fall apart now. Dean is haunted by the promise he gave Sam. sowrongohsowrong The shell itches and weighs and it's so fucking ironic. Werewolves and hearts missing. He doesn't ask Sammy if he's okay. He knows that they're both far from sunshine and rainbows.
---
The ride back to the hotel is quiet, Metallica moving only the air molecules inside the Impala, leaving their souls untouched. Dean turns the tape off before the first chords of Nothing else matters. The gesture speaks more than the song, Sam knows it would have been next and catches Dean's frown. He feels worse than before, (how the fuck is it possible to go from worst to even worse?) because he knows about Dean's mission to save him. And now he knows what kind of a weight he laid on Dean's shoulders with making him promise.
No, Dean's shoulders aren't slumping from that massive dead weight. His concerned frown is now something else; Sam pretends that he wasn't looking and Dean pretends he didn't see him. Sam steals another look, Dean's lips are pressed together decisively and Sam lets go of the newest guilt. That promise lets him sleep through nights and Dean would be the first to call him an idiot for feeling guilty. Well, knowing Dean's vocabulary, he'd probably phrase it differently. Sam almost has to smile between blinks.
"You saved her, Sammy." The confidence in Dean's voice is real, Sam knows it from years of shared memories and life.
Dean skips the 'And I'll save you'. It will be there always, in between the lines. Instead he answers the unasked question, talking more to himself than to Sam.
"I won't let it come to that."