Dealing with the Worst DC
Chapter 1 Another Epic Quest
By: Major144
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or DC this is just a story for fun
Deadpool and Bob sat on a couch watching Jackass, while eating nachos.
"Man I totally make more money then these guys! I did crazier stuff then this yesterday with just a jar of pickles, a block of c4, two sticks of butter and a septic truck." Said Deadpool.
"I can totally see you making a crazy TV show Mr. Wilson." Said Bob.
Inside of Deadpool's head two of the voices he normally heard were discussing ideas for the show.
"We need to come up with a plot and get a sponsor." Said Wilson the more logical of the two.
"Screw plot! What people love is explosions and violence! Besides I'm pretty sure we can easily get High Moon Studios to sponsor us." Said Wade.
"You got me there. Alright what about a name for the show. It has to be something clever yet easy to remember." Said Wilson.
"Oh I know will call it Pain Factor!" Declared Wade.
"Wasn't that the name of the show that the Deadpool from 'Spiderman Shattered Dimensions' had?" Asked Wilson.
"No way! This was totally my idea!" Said Wade.
"No it's not." Said Wilson.
"Up yours were going with Pain Factor." Said Wade.
Deadpool was fixing to tell Bob his idea, when all if a sudden the entire room started to violently shake.
"Oh man not this again!" Cried Bob.
"Just relax Bob it probably be over in a few seconds. The Watcher dude will show up before us and send us on another quest." Said Deadpool.
"For all you readers out there, you should totally read "Dealing with the Worst", so you don't get totally lost." Said Wade.
"There's already a thing in the summery explaining that this is a sequel." Said Wilson.
"I know that smart ass! I'm just doing another fun fourth wall breaker." Said Wade.
"Fine lets continue with the story." Said Wilson.
In the living room the Watcher did appear only he appeared in a small silver space ship that expanded knocking over the couch Deadpool and Bob were on knocking them on their backs.
"Well that was new. And people complain about my piloting skills." Said Deadpool as he and Bob staggered to their feet.
A door on the side of the ship opened up and out walked The Watcher in his Deadpool merchandise.
"Greetings Deadpool and Bob I've come to give you another epic quest!" Boomed The Watcher.
"Are we going kill a bunch lame bad guys because they deserve it and their existence threats the popularity of a major franchise?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yes! But this time around your going to a whole different universe! Your going to the DC UNIVERSE!" Boomed The Watcher.
Deadpool jaw slightly drop. Bob just looked confused.
"What's the DC Universe?" He asked.
Deadpool put a hand on Bob's shoulder.
"Bob the DC Universe is much like our own with many similarities and differences. They even have a guy, who is so a parody me called Deathstroke, whose real name is Slade Wilson." Said Deadpool.
"Whoa!" Gasped Bob.
"I thought we were the ones that were a parody of Deathstroke." Said Wilson.
"No were not! We came first!" Said Wade.
"No I'm pretty sure he came out in comics way before us." Said Wilson.
"Your are such a smart ass!" Complained Wade.
"Anyhow Deadpool, you must travel to the DC Universe and kill it's Top Ten Worst Villains." Said The Watcher as he conjured up a laptop and pulled up the WatchMojo video displaying the villains.
10. The Ten Eyed Man
9. Sports Master
8. Rainbow Raider
7. Prankster
6. Clock King
5. The Fiddler
4. Kite-Man
3. Polka-Dot Man
2. Crazy Quilt
Egg Fu
"Sheesh! And I thought the villains we killed in the last story were lame." Said Deadpool.
"I've programmed this ship to take you to the DC Universe. Good luck." Said the Watcher as he teleported away.
"Come on Bob time to go on another epic killing spree quest." Said Deadpool as he and Bob got into the ship and buckled up.
The ship became active and vanished in a flash of light.
In the DC Universe a few miles away from Earth Lobo the bounty hunter was racing by Earth drinking his fourth beer and listening to music on his bike, when the Control System let out a warning.
"Warning temporal anomaly occurring up ahead." Warned the Control System.
"Shut up you stupid machine!" Lobo drunkenly bellowed as he turned the music up.
Lobo would soon regret not listening to the Control System. A few seconds later the ship carrying Deadpool and Bob appeared heading directly towards Lobo!
"WHAT THE FU-!" Shouted Lobo before, he was knocked clean off the seat of his bike and became a big mess on the ship's window.
The bikes auto pilot kicked in and followed the ship. Inside the ship Deadpool and Bob starred at the mess that was Lobo.
"For the record neither one of us was driving, so this isn't our fault this time." Said Deadpool.
Bob just starred at the mess in horror. A few minutes later the ship landed on the outskirts of Jump City. Deadpool and Bob got out of the ship and starred at the remains of Lobo, which had slid off the window and now was just a big tangled mess. The ship teleported away and the bike landed a few yards from the ship.
"Look at that awesome ride! Lets steal it!" Said Deadpool as he head towards the bike with glee.
"I think that might be this guy's ride." Said Bob as he poked the remains of Lobo with a stick.
"Not anymore. His not going to be using it." Said Deadpool as he jumped up and sat down on the bike.
As soon as Deadpool's butt was on the seat the bike's security system kicked in. A nine inch metal spike shot out vertically from the seat and stabbed Deadpool in the rear!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Screamed Deadpool in shock in pain.
"OH MY GOD!" Screamed Bob.
"THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!" Cried Wilson.
"BAD TOUCH!" Cried Wade.
After a few seconds of screaming Deadpool's healing factor kicked in and healed him. The mercenary glared at the bike's Control System.
"Alright you computer piece of junk. No one and I mean nobody messes with my ass except the ladies!" Declared Deadpool as he pulled out one of his swords and stabbed it into the machine managing to cut the Control System out. The spike went back into the bike.
Deadpool pulled it out and chunked the control system at the remains of Lobo.
"Come on Bob hop on." Said Deadpool.
"Um no thanks. I'll walk." Said Bob.
"Fine I guess will have to install a sidecar on this thing. Were also going to find a certain someone to team up with." Said Deadpool as got off the bike and started pushing towards the city.
"Who are we teaming up with?" Asked Bob.
"For an adventure like this were going to team up with Deathstroke!" Declared Deadpool.
Back where they left the remains of Lobo were slowly pulling themselves back together.
To be continued.