Getting close to people had only gotten him hurt.
That's why he never bothered with relationships.
In fact, Namiki Masahiro had to congratulate himself on a façade well done. Not too long ago, he wouldn't have suspected it of himself. After all, he'd been a normal enough child—well, powers aside. He had been small and innocent and impressionable and had not really wanted much more than his parents' love. That sort of thing was essential to any little kid's world.
Nevertheless, in a world where love should have flowed freely, even a normal smile was a luxury.
It was ironic, he knew, how he always tended to introduce himself by his given name. The gesture was meant to distance himself from his family, but it gave other people a sense of intimacy; it was like this right he so dismissively gave them meant that they could get to know him. How wrong they were! That kind of openness didn't exist in today's world. Society should've known that better than him.
That's why he couldn't help but laugh at the world.
The true him, hidden somewhere beneath layered ribbons of shadow, cringed at the sound; but the laugh was all he had, the only thing keeping him from collapsing in upon himself, and so he clung to it desperately, as if his life were on the line. Maybe it was. He had found, not too long ago, that repressing his emotions helped him to see more clearly. The revelation had sort of made him wish that he'd taken martial arts when he was younger; ludicrously, his rebellious mind had actually started forming plans of taking classes now, and of how to convince his mother…
He couldn't go there.
Ootake bid him goodbye, startling him from his thoughts, and, on a whim, he tried to see the older man's future. It took him a second of concentrated thought but then…
It's all a blur. The man is walking even though the light is red—he's in a hurry. So much so, that he won't see the black car coming until it's far too late…
No. Masahiro wasn't going to do anything. Never mind that a small part of him desperately wanted to. That was the same small part of him that had started to leave his mother flowers. The selfsame part that had thought it might not be a bad idea to openly give her a brooch for Christmas. Because, it had reasoned, if she smiled a real smile at the flowers, then surely she could smile like that just once for her oldest son…
Getting close to people had only ever gotten him hurt.
Why on earth would he want to bother now? If not now, Ootake would die eventually…and plenty of pedestrians died yearly, which he did nothing about, so why would this even mean…anything…? Even if the man was his legal guardian, it had nothing to do with him. Family, friends…it was all meaningless.
You…don't love us anymore?
That hateful laugh forced itself from his lips. Irony! That was the single word that could sum up his life.
"That guy's 'future' is pretty sad. It's dangerous to walk so fast. Look! The light's already red. Why do you still have to cross the road?"
What on earth was he saying? Was he even human to be able to feel such detachment? Perhaps the epithet of 'monster' wasn't so far off the mark.
"No one can save you now. Soon there will be a black…" he trailed off.
Was somebody actually stopping Ootake?
"…car…"
And there went the promised car, missing the man and the person who saved him—a high school girl, by the look of it—by centimeters. Could she have seen? Was that possible?
"What happened? Did that girl…?"
For a moment, he was grateful…those pesky feelings of his resurfaced, glad that the only person to show him any kind of affection in a long time hadn't had to die…
The ingrate actually has the nerve to try to hit her?!
But only for a moment. The façade was back full force at the ugly sight. Nevertheless, he was curious. That's the only explanation for why he saved the girl—being sure to beam somewhat obnoxiously at the retreating businessman—and even shook her hand politely.
He had a feeling that life was about to get very intriguing…and his feelings were rarely wrong.
Eh. A piece about my favorite character, Namiki Masahiro, from Mekakushi no Kuni. Highly underread manga. In any case, I wanted to try to capture Namiki-kun's thoughts and feelings when we see him at his very worst--when we first meet him. I mean, come on, the guy was laughing at a pedestrian about to get flattened. By the end of the manga, he opens up and shows enough heart that this episode is all but forgotten--forgiven, at the very least--so I wanted to write with that perspective. Um...oh, yes, I made the pedestrian Ootake Yuusuke, the stockbroker Namiki-kun works with, because the pedestrian did look an awful lot like him, right down to the glasses and the slicked back hair. Plus, it would explain why the pedestrian didn't yell at him when Namiki-kun told him not to get so angry.
In any case, nothing belongs to me.