Knowing
"How did you know?" Xander asked Willow.
"Know what?" she asked, popping a handful of m&m's her mouth. They were sitting in the kitchen of her knew apartment relaxing after the recent chaos of yet another apocalypse.
"That you were gay," he replied.
She stopped eating and looked up at him. "Did you have the dream about Ewan Macgregor again? Cause, I told you-"
"No I didn't have another dream about Ewan Macgregor," he replied hastily. "Okay, I might have, but it's not why I'm bringing this up."
"Oh okay. Um…" she thoughtfully shoved a spoonful of peppermint ice cream in her mouth. "I don't know if there was really one exact moment that I realized. With Tara and I… it was just different. We were friends, but it was different than being friends with you and Buffy. She was different. I think it really hit me when Oz came back. When I first saw him, I was so shocked I couldn't think. But once I could, the same thought just kept running though my head: 'Tara. What would I say to her? What would I say to him?' And then… when I saw the hurt in her eyes when she thought I'd chosen him… I think that's when I knew."
Xander nodded slowly, processing the information.
"Look at it this way," Willow said, leaning toward him. "Imagine if Anya came back, right now. You would be so happy to have her back, right? But would you be able to just forget how you feel about Andrew and go back to her like nothing ever happened? That's how you know," she said with a slight smile.
"How did you…" he began to ask, but didn't bother to finish. She always knew.