Hotdog


One fine afternoon in Balamb Garden, Zell walked into the quad singing his favorite Limp Bizkit song: Hotdog. Zell then thought to himself, "Ya know, I like that song a lot, but it doesn't fit my personality. I'd better change it a bit." He gathered up his SeeD friends and announced his plan.
"Squall, you'll be the drummer, Irvine will play bass, I'll sing, and Quisty here will play guitar!" Exclaimed Zell, too excited to notice everyone's quizzical faces.
Squall spoke up, "Uh, Zell.... What the hell are you talking about?!"
" We're going to make a song based on Limp Bizkits Hotdog!!!"
Just then Seifer walked by. He smirked and said, "What's this? Chicken-wuss made a band? Let me guess, you're the Oscar Myer Wieners?"
Zell's smile grew huge, " Thanks Seifer, that's a great name!!!!"
"Oh god.... Me and my big mouth!!!" said Seifer slapping his forehead.
"There is no way I am going to be named after hotdog meat! NO WAY!!!" said Squall
"C'mon guys, please? It's only for a little while. Please?" Zell pleaded.
"OK, fine. But only cause we feel sorry for you." said Squall.
"Oh thank you, thank you so very, very much." Said Zell on his hands and knees ready to beg in case they had refused.

They finally made the song:
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the hotdog bun and the cafeteria's hotdog. Bring it here, get the hotdog, yeah.........

And it went on changing words for what Zell thought it should be.
In the Garden, everyone loved the song and it even became the number one hit in Galbadia. A month had passed since then and Zell soon got a call.
"Hello Zell, this is Fred Durst."
"Cool, did you call to compliment my song or my band?" asked Zell excitedly.
"No idiot. Two things: Fisrt thing, $#*@ you, you bastard!! Second thing, Have you ever heard of Copyright Endorsement? See you in court."
Zell started to panic, so he told Squall sbout his conversation.
"I knew we would get sued by some rich guy someday!! Shit! What are we going to do?!" asked Zell.
"Who's we?" asked Squall, "It was your idea in the first place."
"Squall" asked Zell, " Would you be my lawyer?"
"I don't know the first thing about the law! I'm only 17 years old, god-dammit!" exclaimed Squall, "Ask Quistis, stupid. She's a smart-ass anyway."

Next week they went to court. Zell was sure he would go to jail for at least 10 years but was lucky to have Quistis as a lawyer. She was the only one that had gone to and graduated from Law School.
"Order in the court!" yelled the Judge.
Zell was so nervous that he almost strangled Quistis.
"Will the defendant please come forward."
Zell walked up to the booth.
"Please tell the court in your own words what happened."
"One day I was listening to the radio and decided to turn the Limp Bizkit song Hotdog around cause I wanted the song to have to do with hotdogs since I like 'em so much. So I gathered up my friends and we changed the words and made our own version of it. Soon it became No.1 in Galbadia." Explained Zell hoping to convince the Judge that he didn't plagiarize the song.
"Now Fred Durst tell the court your side of the story."
" Your honor, I'd like to file charges against him for using my song and making money off of it. I'd like to sue him." explained Fred Durst.
"Nooooooo!!!!!!!" shouted Zell as he dove at Fred Durst from his chair practically knocking over Quistis, "I only have 10 gil right now! I spent most of it on the band!! ".
"Order!!" yelled the Judge and banged his gavel as hard as he could. Zell froze in mid-air and fell with a thump." You don' t have to pay now. You can pay later. Anyway, your story was convincing. You only have to pay two months of your SeeD salary.
"Two months?!" said Zell desparetly, "but I can't buy anymore hotdogs for 2 months then."
"Oh, Zell...." Said Squall from the Back of the room.
Zell looked behind him to see Squall holding baskets piled high with money.
Zell ran over and kicked Squall.
"Ow! What was that for?" yelped Squall in pain.
"For holding back on me of course." said Zell angrily," If I had known about this money earlier I wouldn't have been so damn nervous!"
"This is the money from all the fans buying our single, Hotdog you bastard. Ah great you broke my leg! Damn you!" shouted Squall.
"I believe I get 49% of that," said Fred Durst grabbing the smallest basket.
"Well I'm glad I didn't go to jail." said a relieved Zell.

THE END