Disclaimer NCIS is not mine

Authors note Well . . . I'm back! I've been really busy and this story had been sat half written forever. But here is goes. It's not great, in fact this is the best chapter. But we'll see what you all think. Thanks to all who helped me with the title, and to Left My Heart in Paris who is always so supportive.

Enjoy!

The Wedding of Leroy Jethro Gibbs

'I sneak in and see your friends,
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel,
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid,
Somewhere back inside a room,
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry'

-Taylor Swift, Speak Now

He'd like the green dress - that was something she was certain of. The way the material was softly fitted from her shoulders to her hips, before it went out into an almost skater style skirt. Hitting about an inch above the knee it left just enough to the imagination, and the scoop neck gave it an air of sophistication. The colour brought out her eyes and made her hair look an even brighter shade of red. It had three quarter sleeves which worked perfectly with a handful of silver bangles around her wrist. Jenny even had the perfect silver and green heels to match.

It would make his jaw drop.

That was why the dress in question was therefore hung up on her wardrobe door - a simple reminder that she could still amaze him. But today it wouldn't matter. Today Leroy Jethro Gibbs' eyes would - should - be on the latest woman to wear white and stand next to him at the top of the aisle. Another red head; with long legs and a perfect figure who'd be smiling like an angel. Another woman who thought that she'd just found the love that everyone wrote about and so craved. Jenny however, she'd be sat in the pews watching as he took yet another woman's hand in marriage.

The dress was pretty, there was no denying that. It was styled like the 1950's and in a pale lemon colour that was perfect for a seasonal wedding. But it wasn't a jaw dropping dress - not for Gibbs anyway. The top was loose, with a sash neckline and made of lemon silk with white large polka dots. It was pulled in around her waist with a matching lemon ribbon that tied behind her back. The skirt then went out into a mass if small pleats. It hit slightly shorter than the green one did, but it looked a lot less sexy in her eyes.

Sighing reflectively at her reflection she moved over to her bed and put on the strappy silver 'ridiculously high' heels. It only been four months since they'd returned from that damned Paris op. she'd counted the days and knew that they'd been gone well over a year. And before Paris there had been London, Serbia, Russia, Postianto and Marseille. In the last three years she'd been home for no longer than two months. They'd been home no longer than two months. Yet somehow he'd apparently managed to string some beautiful red head along to the degree that they were already getting married.

In the last few years, they'd come so close to crossing that line a few times. There had been times, when the mission had nearly consumed her. When she didn't know where she ended and her alias began. It had been Gibbs that shook her out of it; him who plied her with bourbon whilst they drowned their sorrows. There had been times when both of them had grown so close that crossing that invisible line would have been the clear next step. But they didn't. Something, whatever it was, had stopped them. Maybe it was the fear that they'd fall in love, something she never planned on and he feared. Or maybe it was the fear that they'd ruin everything. But undoubtedly, Jenny and Jethro had grown close. Yet it seemed now, like all of that had meant so little to him.

A knock at the door shook her out of her thoughts of self pity. So she stood up and made her way downstairs to the front door. Her heals sending echoes of clip clop around the empty shell of a house. A house, which had once upon a time had held so many memories in every corner of every room. Memories of Christmases spent laughing and smiling, birthdays and throwing wrapping paper all over the room, and those days which for no particular reason stuck with her - once it held those memories. When her life was so different, but now it was just a place where she spent her evenings and the odd day off she was forced to take. A place, which was no longer a home, but now simply the shadow of the place it formerly was.

With a practiced ease the red head opened the larger heavy solid oak front door to reveal Ducky. A man, whom whether he said openly or not was well aware that the event which was about to take place would be hard on her. After all, he had been there, he'd been there when the pair had first met, when the spark had been lit and the first time both of them had put trust in the other. Ducky had silently watched as one, the other, or both of them gradually took down their walls, and on the nights when they broke into a million pieces. In fact, he was more aware than both Jenny and Gibbs when it came to just how deep the feelings of these two agents lay.

"Ducky!" The red head said, a warm smile instantly gracing her face at the sight of the Scotsman. As per usual he was dressed smartly: in a dark grey smart suit, with a white shirt and a deep red bow tie, tied proudly around his neck. He looked handsome, and very dapper in Jenny's eyes. And the warm smile on his face made her feel like she was at home already. Like the day would be manageable even if right then it seemed impossible.

"Hello my dear." He replied in his soft Scottish accent as she let him in. "Are you nearly ready?" He questioned, smirking politely at the sight of her looking almost ready apart from the large curlers firmly placed in her hair.

"I've just got to take these out, I won't be too long" she stated, whilst jogging upstairs. Yet, as soon as she was alone she felt herself drop again at the thought of the day. Slowly she removed the curlers to reveal wavy red hair. And with a touch of red lipstick she was done. She took a deep breath and grabbed her bag before looking in the mirror. She should - technically - be happy that her best friend was getting married and - apparently - in love. But instead Jenny found herself wishing the day away, wishing that instead she could just go to another place where things were simpler.

Remembering that Ducky was downstairs she told herself to get it together and walked down the stairs. The Scotsman emerged from the rarely used living room at the sound of her arrival. "You look wonderful Jennifer." the doctor said and Jenny smiled at him thankfully. And it was true, she did look amazing, whether she had meant to or not Jenny would make her partners jaw drop, along with the jaws of their new agent Stan Burley. Stan had been on the team of another agent, however that agent had retired and so he'd been moved to Gibbs' team and partnered up with William Decker.

"Thanks Ducky." She said, softly looking down at her fingernails painted in pearl white to match her toes. "Are you ready?" Jenny asked him, already wanting to get the day over and done with so that she could come back home and curl up in bed. So that she could shove on one of those films that Gibbs had always hated and try to stop thinking about her.

But for now, it was time to stop worrying about herself, and at least look as though she was happy for the man who had stood by her side through everything.

Strangely enough, considering the fact that it was Gibbs' fourth wedding, the ceremony was held in a church. But in the same way that it was strange, it was also expected, because even though Jenny had never really focused on the fact, Gibbs was actually a religious man. He didn't preach or openly pray. But maybe it comes with the job; it helps sometimes to believe there is something or someone watching over us after all. Maybe it was the longing to hope that those that we lose along the way do in fact, go to a better place. That they don't just end up in the ground – six feet under. However, whatever his reasoning behind it, it must have been a reasonably strong belief.

So that was why, on a day which was considerably warmer than it was generally expected to be, she was stuck inside a freezing cold church in a dress which was certainly not built for warmth. As she sat there, though, she realised that the church had been Stephanie's choice. It wasn't as ostentatious as Jenny assumed his wedding to Diane had been but, at the same time, neither was it the rustic comfort that Gibbs would have wanted. The church was of average size with substantial room for the 100 or so people that had been invited.

The inside of the church was an almost flesh coloured stone that she would hazard a guess resembled the same texture as sandstone - or would that make it too soft? Inside was perfectly decorated with carvings that reminded her of those minute details you'd imagine when listening to a fairy tale being told to you as a child. When your eyes were closed and you were curled up in bed, blissfully resting in that state between consciousness and slumber, when you're imagination was free to run wild. Pews lined the large space in two rows. Dark varnished wood that was incredibly uncomfortable to sit on. Prayer cushions - each on embroidered with a different pattern in rich reds and gold's and greens - sat at her feet. The colours slightly faded and if you looked closely the edges they were slightly tattered and worn from use.

Beside of her was Ducky, both of them sat on the front row, along with the Director Tom Marrow. They were representing Gibbs' family. She didn't know much about his blood relatives, only that his mother had died and his father was not around. Somewhere behind them were the other NCIS agents who had been classed as close enough to attend; Stan Burley, William Decker, and the lab tech. The other side of the church represented Stephanie's family, who had seeped across into Gibbs' scarcely filled side too. All dressed in pastels a little sickly for Jenny's liking and smiling so brightly. Across from Jenny, on the front row of the opposite side, sat a woman in a pale lilac, her hair bright red, and looking like she was about to cry. From the hair colour, the dress and the matching hat, the special agent assumed she must be Stephanie's mother. Jenny had to resist the urge to scoff at the cliché mother-of-the-bride attitude.

It wasn't that she didn't like Stephanie, in fact if she was honest out of all of Gibbs' girlfriends and wives that she had met, Stephanie was definitely the best by far. She was lovely, and caring, but the problem was, that Jenny saw her as a little naïve. Maybe that was a prejudiced view, but if she was honest, Stephanie was blindsided by love. So much so that she couldn't see that her soon to be husband, did not feel the same. She was a replacement for Shannon, and if Jenny was honest with herself, the fear of being the same was the thing that had always stopped her from crossing the line.

"My dear, I think it's about to start." Said Ducky, breaking her thoughts and from the tone of his voice, the red headed agent knew very well, that his impression of the whole fiasco was pretty much along the same lines as hers. And then, the music began to play, and all she could think was that this was that woman's death march into a marriage that was almost guaranteed to fail.

Her dress was something out of a fairytale. Strapless, white, with a belt of silver around her waist, pulling her in before it went out into a princess skirt. It wasn't massive, but it was a lot bigger than Jenny would have chosen for herself. The bride's hair was half up half down, and lightly curled. She looked beautiful, even a slightly bitter Jenny could not deny the woman that complementary thought. But as she walked up to aisle towards her fiancé, Jenny felt her heart break ever so slightly. Jethro was stood there, looking just as he always did. In a tux, with his tie and shoes polished, hair freshly cut into his classic marine style - he looked every bit as dashing as she had known he would.

He smiled when she walked up to him.

Looked at her lovingly through the whole of the ceremony.

And said the vows like someone who was saying them for the fourth time.

And when they said 'kiss the bride' he did so, and Jenny discretely looked down. Whilst Duck slipped his hand into hers and softly squeezed it, knowing how much this would be hurting her. She and Jethro had been married as their cover, but it hadn't all been pretence – anyone could see that a mile off. They'd put their lives in the hands of the other, and that was something that could only be convincingly achieved when there was a certain degree of trust being held.

And when they parted everyone clapped, even Jenny. As bittersweet as the moment was, she had promised herself that she would not bitter. So she clapped and smiled back when Stephanie's eyes passed over her. But Jethro didn't look at anyone else, instead he just looked in a daze as he realised that he'd made yet another woman the latest in an ever growing list of Mrs L. J. Gibbs'.

It was when they had all gathered outside of the church. Watching as the bride and groom walked down the narrow weathered path, under a shower of rose petals and pale pink or white confetti, that Gibbs finally caught his partner's eye from across the crowd. There she stood, the sun catching her auburn hair and making it look ablaze with even brighter colours. Her skin so pale in colour and softly dappled with a scattering of freckles brought out by the warm weather. And then there were those eyes, emerald sparkling slightly more precious than any gem. Sparkling just a little because even though she knew how this union would end, she'd realised she was nothing more than selfish if she didn't try to be happy for him.

She watched as he saw her, as that careful analysing gaze and those stunning cobalt eyes fell upon her. He saw how beautiful she looked - even if she wasn't wearing the green dress - and how there was a slight longing in her eyes for him to be careful. As Jenny slowly blinked and smiled at him, he just nodded, not breaking eye contact once. Because it was their silent agreement that no matter what happened, that no matter how this marriage ended, they'd - try at least - to never let anything get in the way of their friendship. Because to him that meant a hundred times more than any other relationship ever would do.

And as quickly as they'd told each other what they needed to say, it was over. Gibbs was back smiling at his wife, and Jenny was left trying to figure out just where she stood now. Because things were about to change; there would be no more late night takeout meals in his basement, sanding the boat and drinking more bourbon than was advisable in one night. There would be no more tickle fights or innuendos when they were alone. And it wasn't that she wasn't pleased for him, because she was, Jenny was just a little heartbroken that she seemed to view him in a different way to how he viewed her.

But what the red headed field agent, with a temper as strong as her hair would suggest, had not realised was that as he had stood there saying his vows, he'd realised something. This marriage unlike his others wasn't to try and find a replacement for Shannon. This one was to try and find a replacement for the woman he had let slip through his fingers: Jenny Shepard.

However, now he slid into the back of their chauffer driven, vintage cream 1938 Rolls Royce Phantom limousine. With a tan brown leather bench seat in the back, decorated with stitching running vertically down towards the carpet of darker brown and all of the trimmings were in polished silver. In the middle an adaptation had been made and there proudly sat a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, its bright orange label just visible inside of the cooler. Either side of it was a crystal cut champagne glass, guarding the bottle.

Stephanie slid in a first, a massive smile on her face, whilst Gibbs slid in behind her once her dress was completely in and he was sure that he hadn't stepped on it at all. He sat in the back seat and smiled at her as she leant forward and took the glasses waiting for him to get the bottle and open it. And as the car drove away - the long way - to the reception, the last thing they all saw was the car driving off with as the sound of that iconic 'pop!' as the champagne was opened.

As the car drove away the wedding party began to divide off as they all headed to their cars so that they could make their way to the reception. It was being paid for by Stephanie's family who had all clubbed together to give her the wedding she had always dreamed of. That was why it was being held at a historic boutique hotel in the city: the Topaz hotel.

Jenny, Ducky, William Decker and Tom Marrow began to walk toward the car park, and Stan Burly ran up to them after being left behind. He had a cheeky childishly smug grin on his face as he watched one of Stephanie's friends from work walk away. A blonde, with long legs, who was wearing a pastel blue dress, and with whom he had been flirting with throughout the entirety of the ceremony. "Oh I love weddings!" he said, his grin ever growing as he got in pace with Jenny. "Don't you red? They're full of . . . love and happiness."

Jenny turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow at his comment, whilst glaring at him because of his calling her by his nickname for her; 'red'. A name she had strictly told him that he could not, under any circumstances, call her by. So for that comment, and his trying to get off with one of the brides best friends, she lifted up her hand and head-slapped him in perfect Gibbs imitation style. As soon as she had done it she instantly felt a little better, but his hand was on the back of his head, rubbing it ever so slightly whilst pouting like a little child at being hit. "Ouch! Shepard that really hurt!" He claimed, failing to make her feel bad about her actions but instead make her smirk.

"It was only what Gibbs would have done if he were here." She stated, as they approached their cars in the car park. She headed with Ducky to his silver Morgan, the car that was originally going to be used as a wedding car until Stephanie had fallen in love with the Rolls Royce. Ducky went around to the driver's side whilst the others began to head off to their cars – Stan still moaning.

"Shut up Agent Burley, you deserved it!" They heard Tom Marrow say in his directors voice as he got into the black town car with his security, and as the door closed, they all broke down into hysterics whilst the agent in question stood there looking like a child who had just found out that Santa didn't exist. And that was what made Jenny's day, but it was also what made her realise that maybe she could get through the rest of the day, because if she had her friends around her then that would mean that she didn't actually have to acknowledge Gibbs. He could have his day with his new wife, and she could stay with the lads as long as she had to, and then disappear off into the night.

The reception was just as classic as Jenny had imagined that it would be. The events room was beautiful, with white walls, each one with an engraved border decorated in a cross culture theme; English heritage mixed with the French chateaux look. The flooring was a dark stained wood, buffed to the extent that you could see your face in it – just for the occasion. The outside wall was broken up by two sets of French doors which opened out onto a patio, framed with white pillars and steps which lead down into a large garden. A garden which could be anywhere in the world, but would not be expected in the centre of a large city.

At one end of the room there was the long head table. It seated Gibbs and his wife, and mainly Stephanie's family; her parents, sister and bridesmaids. But Gibbs' family was simply represented by Ducky. He'd wanted Jenny there, but Stephanie hadn't been too pleased by the idea. Although she was well aware of the fact that they were just friends, in essence they had been married. They'd spent years hiding and playing the part of a couple. Having her on the table would be like having Diane or Ginger on the table; another ex-wife. Someone she would have to contend with. But that was all the better for the field agent. That meant she could sit on the table with Fornell, Stan, Will, Director Marrow and a few others.

The tables were covered in thick white table cloths which matched the white chair covers which had a wide ribbon tied around them in the same colour as the bridesmaids dressed. Jenny sat there, watching everyone after the meal and the speeches had been done with. Whilst they danced and flirted, and everyone else did the same. The room was boiling, and everything hurt too much in that moment. So she stood up and made her way to the closest set of doors and excited out onto the stone patio.

Outside the air had cooled down as evening fell on the city, and as the cold air hit her flushed skin, small goose bumps began to spread across her pale skin, whilst her face began to feel even warmer. Slowly, Jenny walked over to the barrier of stone and placed her hands down on the cold before taking a deep breath and holding it in for a while. Inside she was suffocating, the people all so happy and naïve, thinking that the marriage that had just taken place would last. And maybe she was bitter, and selfish, and she hated herself for being that way.

But at some point Jenny was pretty sure she had fallen in love with Gibbs, and it hurt, because part of her had thought that he felt something more for her. But he didn't she'd been the naïve one, the one who had done the one thing she swore she'd never do. She'd let a man worm his way into her heart. And the stupid thing was that she had been blind to it.

Walking over to the steps, her heeled sandals clip clopped on the stones beneath her feet - the sound slightly audible over the muffled music that escaped the events room behind of her. The sound of soppy love songs that people were slow dancing to. Songs about a love that would last a lifetime - and something about everything being yellow. She wasn't even sure; in fact she'd been doing everything in her power not to listen since she'd been the only one at the table. Ducky had forced her to dance for a while, and she'd fooled about with Stan as she tried to dance with him, keeping his hand above her ass. She'd spoken to Marrow, and laughed with Fornell about the fact that he was dating Diane – a woman who had a serious issue with Jenny.

But now she was away from them all she felt a wave of relief. Slowly and cautiously she made her way down the path. Careful not to get her stiletto style heel caught in one of the gaps between the paving slabs underfoot. The heels gave a soft clip clopping sound, which as she moved away from the building became even more and more distinct as the music faded. The red head encountered another step and she stopped, sitting down on it and wrapping her arms around herself. The floor wasn't too cold after a day of the sun on it. But it was a shock to her body, yet a relief too. It gave her something else to think about.

Jenny's eyes scanned over the gardens, taking in the sight of the grass and trees, all ever so slightly dulled by the fading lights. She listened to the sound of the animals waking up, and falling asleep, as the trees rustled because the wind was blowing through them. Then her eyes made their way up to the sky, looking at the stars twinkling softly above. Her eyes subconsciously looked for the brightest star, and she thought back to the one that had lead Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem all those years ago. And as she thought about it, she wondered whether one day a bright star would lead her to someone who she could at least try and love a little bit.

But that was all dreams, things that she wanted and wished and hoped for. But in all honesty no longer believed in. She closed her eyes and felt the cold air brush against her skin and goose bumps raise. "You'll catch your death out here Jenny." She heard a voice say behind her. And the goose bumps rose again, although this time it was nothing to do with the cold. It was the voice talking, a voice she had spent ages listening to and laughing with. And whose wedding she was currently at. Someone, she had spent the entire day attempting to avoid.

"I could have caught my death any day in Europe." She replied. Although neither of them really spoke about what had happened when they were undercover, it still haunted them. Most people would look and think that it had just passed them by, like it was any other day. But that was how they wanted people to think. The truth was that it had scared them irrevocably. They had been left scarred in a way that nothing would ever quite manage to fix.

Gibbs walked down the path so that he was closer to him and shrugged off his suit jacket. She didn't know what he was doing until she felt the warmth of his jacket over her shoulders. Her arms touched the lapels and pulled it closer around her shivering body-

-She hadn't even realised that she was shivering.

As soon as she felt it around her she knew that it shouldn't be there. This was the kind of thing he should be doing to his wife not his partner. However the fact that she was surrounded, now, by the oh so familiar and comforting smell of coffee, bourbon and saw dust mellowed her. But it didn't stop her knowing it was wrong, even if it did feel good. "Shouldn't you be wrapping your jacket around your wife Jethro?" She said, desperately trying to keep any hint of bitterness from her voice.

"Steph won't mind Jenny, she knows how much you mean to me."

And those words hit her like a punch to the stomach. And in that moment, as she turned to look at the silver haired man beside her; and she memorised every feature. Every line of a day gone by, the things those bright cobalt eyes had seen. The hair that she had always loved, and never changed. Every part of his face she remembered, and she told herself that was what her bitterness could lose her. Stephanie was obviously willing to accept her presence, and Jenny decided that it was time to grow up. Because Jethro loved his wife, and she was being nothing short of childish.

"I want you to be happy Jethro." She said, with honesty. And he knew she meant it, the stars reflected in her eyes, and as she smiled he was reminded as he always was that he didn't want to lose her.

"I'm happy Jen." He said, not entirely true whether he was or not.

"Then so am I." And then Gibbs stood up, and left. But before he did she heard a chink as a glass touched the stone she was sat on. When she was sure he was gone, she looked down beside of her and smiled in thanks to the man who had walked away. Because there; was a glass of bourbon. A drink that tied them to their past in Paris, and that would tie them to their future whatever that may end up being.

Her long slender finger wrapped around the glass, and took a sniff of the whiskey before placing the glass to her lipstick clad lips. And as the burning liquid went down her thought she decided it was her time to leave. She'd said her piece and now Jenny Shepard had to get on with her life-

-or try at least.

Her silver heels clip clopped along the path. Leaving behind a lip stick stained tumbler, a perfume infused jacket, and a bittersweet memory that would forever be incomplete.

Reviews welcomed!