-Hello readers! First of all, English is not my native language so I'm really sorry if you find mistakes in this story, also I used Google translator for some words. Please let me know if there's a mistake. Special thanks to my friend "Cachorro" who ate the cookie (you'll know what does it mean if you keep reading) and to my other friends who encouraged me to write this story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.
-It was early in the morning. Morgan was walking along the corridors of the FBI, he had told Garcia he would meet her at the entrance door. He said he was planning "something that will make the team go nuclear". Garcia was already there, she thought Morgan was planning something big and funny like when he gave Reid's number to the press.
Morgan: Hi baby girl!
Garcia: Hey there sweetheart, what did you want to tell me? I'm all ears.
Morgan: Hold on a sec! You're going too fast!
Garcia: I guess I'm kinda excited about this. Tell me… please?
Morgan: That's great! Ummm… well… *looks around* I want to pull pranks on the team.
Garcia: Oh god! Hotch is sooooo going to kill us when he finds out!
… … … … … … … … …
Garcia: Let's do it! When do we start?
Morgan: Tonight we set everything and tomorrow we'll see the results.
Garcia: And... what's the excuse for staying inside the building until so late? The rest of the team have just solved a case and are coming this afternoon.
Morgan: Reid just called me and said they weren't coming until tomorrow because of bad weather. I love lady luck… or mother nature? Don't know.
Garcia: Ok just to make me sure, there are no chances of getting caught right? I don't wanna die, I'm too young!
Morgan: I promise nothing's gonna happen to you baby.
Garcia: Thank you. Now, let the games begin!
Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Prentiss and JJ went down the plane. They wanted to go home because they had spent two weeks trying to catch a serial killer in Florida, they finally got him but ended extremely tired. Also they had to return to work because Strauss blackmailed them with photos of a party, so they couldn't take a day. After a lot of arguing, they headed to the FBI headquarters.
*At the FBI headquarters*
Morgan: Okay, it's everything ready?
Garcia: Of course sweet cake! But remember that if they catch us it's going to be our end.
Morgan: Nothing will happen. Let's wait for our victims.
JJ: Hotch, remember me why are we here?
Hotch: Strauss wanted to blackmail us with photos of Prentiss' party.
Reid: But why me? I don't remember going to a party and I have an eidetic memory, you know.
Prentiss: Oh, that you don't remember doesn't mean that you weren't there.
-Reid was about to say something but he didn't. He decided that it was better not to talk about the topic anymore.
Reid: Nevermind. I don't want to know what you did to me, what you made me do or what I did.
-Everyone laughed (except Reid) when they remembered how awesome that party was. They were almost fired because Strauss went undercover to that party and found the team drinking A LOT. In fact, they were playing a drinking game. They were all drunk in a little time and then they were dancing with all the people they could find, and let's just say that Morgan and Reid found Strauss.
Rossi: Strauss only said we had to stay at the office, she didn't said that we actually had to work, I mean, fly to another city. So we're staying, allright?
JJ: Glad to hear you are on our side.
… … … … … … … … …
Reid: Where's Morgan?
Prentiss: Haven't seen him.
Hotch: That's weird. Knowing him, he and Garcia should have been here hours ago to greet us.
Morgan: Hey guys! How are ya? Did you catch the guy?
JJ (sarcastically): Noooooo, he got away.
Morgan: Good. Garcia's got a case, I hope you aren't tired.
Team: Oh God…
-The team almost fell down. They were so tired and desperate until Rossi saved the day, or the morning in this case.
Rossi: Know what? First we're going to our desks to rest a little and then we work on the case, ok?
Everyone: Agreed.
"Yes! Everything is happening as planned" -Morgan thought-
-After that, the BAU team went to their desks but first they wanted some coffee, they needed something to keep them awake. So, each of them (except Morgan) had a cup of coffee in their hands and were drinking it… but something was wrong. The first who noticed was Reid, being a huge fan of coffee.
Reid: Is there something weird about this coffee or is just my imagination?
Rossi: Maybe it's a new brand.
-They forgot about this and drank the coffee but when they finished they felt strange… they felt very happy for no apparent reason.
Prentiss: Definitely, that coffee was strange. Now I wanna go party!
-Everyone smelled their cups looking for anything that could explain their happy behavior.
Hotch: Is it… alcohol?
JJ: Wait, so someone spiked our coffee with alcohol?
Reid: Yes, but the smell and flavor of the alcohol is almost unnoticeable. The alcohol had to be dosed because this often happens in wines which have an alcohol content of 9% to 16%, otherwise we would be drunk already or nothing would have happened to us; whoever did this got the alcohol from the black market and I heard it's very expensive. Guys, this was planned! … … … … … … I need a candy.
Rossi: I hope the effects will go away. I don't want to throw a party in here. Wait, actually I want.
Morgan: No Rossi, don't even think about it; we still have to work. Anyways, does anybody want more alcohol coffee?
Everyone: No!
Morgan: Well I do. I wanna feel happy!
-So Morgan filled a cup with the alcohol coffee and walked towards the team. He "accidentally" spilled the coffee on Reid (he made it look like if he had tripped over).
Reid: Thank you Morgan, now I have to use the restroom. Excuse me.
-And with that, Reid left the team standing in there. They were amazed at what Morgan had just done.
"You're welcome kid, are you ready for what is gonna happen?" -Morgan thought-
-Suddenly, the team heard a noise. It was water, like a tiny waterfall. They all ran to where the noise came from and found an absolutely wet Reid.
Prentiss: What the hell happened to you!
Reid (surprisingly calm): Someone filled a trash can with water and set it up so when somebody went inside the restroom, that person would end totally wet. It's like the bucket with water joke but it seems they couldn't find a bucket. Great, now I can catch the flu. Thankfully, I have clothes in my locker. Thanks again Morgan.
-Reid got away dripping water and earning glances and giggles from all the other FBI agents. Morgan was trying not to laugh and so was Garcia who was had seen everything, but they couldn't. And with them starting, everyone laughed at what had just happened (even Hotch).
JJ: Well, let's just forget this. I'm going to my office.
Hotch: Me too, I have to make a call.
Prentiss: I'm going to check on Reid.
Morgan: Ok, see ya!
Garcia: Hey that was amusing!
Morgan: I know baby girl! He'll definitely catch the flu!
Garcia: I think JJ is next.
Morgan: Gotta see that!
-JJ stood glaring at her door, Rossi was right. The effects of the alcohol has disappeared and now she felt tired, a lot more tired. She just wanted to sleep but she had to arrange several press conferences.
JJ: Well, here we go.
-As soon as she opened the door, a huge mountain of inflated condoms buried her. Again, all the FBI agents started laughing (Morgan and Garcia were there too!). JJ felt so embarrassed, Hotch and Rossi heard the laughter and went there to see what happened. When they got there, they had "WTF happened?" faces. JJ was making her way out of the condoms mountain and when she finally got out, she only said:
JJ: I only hope somebody is going to clean this mess. AND. I'M GONNA KILL WHOEVER DID THIS!
-She left angry, she was fuming and no one knew where she was going to. They were hoping she wasn't going to tell Strauss about this… Meanwhile, Morgan and Garcia whispered to each other "Success!" and made a high-five. Big mistake. Hotch and Rossi saw them and, as good profilers, they knew it was Morgan who had set everything. Garcia was only following him. Also, Reid appeared with dry clothes and started to talk.
Reid: It was Morgan.
Hotch: We just noticed.
Rossi: We should let him pull more pranks.
Reid: Well thought, if we let him pull more pranks, his punishment will be worse.
Hotch: I wonder what else he has thought…
-Hotch was reviewing filer in his office. There wasn't a prank for him… yet. His phone rang and he answered. It was Garcia.
Garcia: Hotch?
Hotch: Garcia, what is it?
Garcia: Well, I just received an anonymous call that said that your car was being taken by a crane.
Hotch: No way. I had to profile and catch 50 serial killers before I could afford to buy that car!
Garcia: Well, you'd better take a look!
-Hotch got out of his office like if he was in a hurry (well, he was), some agents even thought the Reaper was back...
-Garcia and Morgan were waiting patiently inside a car. Oh! And they were also eating popcorn too. They had though this plan carefully. Hotch was the last person they wanted to yell at them, so the car they were in, had dark tinted windows. He was turning the corner and Morgan and Garcia were getting more and more anxious as he did that. When Hotch looked at his car, he dropped his jaw and stopped walking immediately. At this time, Morgan and Garcia had burst out laughing. What was it? What was the prank that had the great Supervisory Special Agent, Aaron Hotchner, looking at his car like a surprised little girl? Well, Morgan had painted Hotch's car with pink paint: the windscreen, the doors, the boot, the tyres, all the car! And while taking a look at the car, Hotch discovered that Morgan had painted the inside of the car with the same color! Hotch was shocked AND furious. It'll take forever to paint the car again and to replace the seats!
Hotch: I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!
-Then he left, obviously, Morgan didn't hear what he said. After a while laughing, Morgan and Garcia went inside the building and as soon as they got there, they heard another tiny waterfall followed by a loud "Damn it!". It obviously was Reid. That kid was having a BAD day with WORSE luck. Morgan and Garcia laughed again, being sorry that they weren't there to see it.
Garcia: Rossi's turn.
Morgan: Remember we have to do this fast. Do you have a coin?
Garcia: Here it is.
-Morgan grabbed a pair of pincers and, with them, he was holding a coin. Then he started heating the coin with a lighter.
Garcia: He's coming!
-Quickly, Morgan tossed the heated coin into the hallway and started talking with Garcia like if nothing had happened.
Rossi: A coin! Maybe this isn't a bad day after all…
-When Rossi touched the coin, he burnt his fingers and he screamed in pain.
Rossi: Shit! Great! I'm going to need some bandages and I won't be able to work properly for the rest of the day! Damn!
-He walked next to the couple of jokers and said: "Hi Morgan. Hi Garcia." Morgan and Garcia froze. They had thought for a minute that Rossi had discovered them, but he just walked again.
Morgan: Thank God!
-Rossi saw Hotch and Reid talking at the bullpen and decided to interrupt their conversation.
Rossi: Hey, I thought you were dry.
Reid: Let's just say that Morgan has traps all over the building.
Rossi: Hm, I agree. He just made me a "joke" if we can call it like that.
Hotch: What did he do.
Rossi: He made me touch a heated coin. I can still feel the sensation of heat in my fingers.
Hotch: He dared to paint my car. I'm going to fire him.
RossI: You can't fire him.
Reid: Rossi's right, Strauss will fire you instead.
Rossi: By the way, what color did he paint your car?
Hotch: Pink. He even painted the seats.
Rossi: Oh god. He crossed the line this time.
Reid: I think Morgan's up for a challenge.
Rossi: Do you really want to start a prank war?
Reid: Morgan started!
Hotch: For once, I'll allow that. But if Strauss find out, you must pull a prank on her and say it was Morgan. Understood?
-Reid and Rossi seemed pleased with Hotch's statement. They knew Morgan wasn't expecting them to fight back so it was going to be more hilarious.
Garcia: Now it's Prentiss.
Morgan: I have the cookie right here.
-Morgan was holding an Oreo cookie in his hand, but this was no ordinary Oreo cokie. This cookie didn't have vanilla cream, it had toothpaste instead. It'll taste awful for sure. Morgan left the cookie on Prentiss' desk and started talking with Garcia.
Prentiss: Hey guys! Oh! A cookie!
-Prentiss ate the cookie and she felt another flavor. It was… mint; it tasted good so she ate all the cookie. As soon as she was finished, she felt something was terribly wrong. She felt like if she was going to throw up and her throat was itching.
Prentiss: Hey guys, did you see who put that cookie on my desk? Or if it was poisoned?
Garcia: Ummm… no?
Prentiss: Damn! Now I have a stomachache and I feel dizzy… Guys, I think I need to go to the bathroom. *runs*
Morgan: Did you see her face! *laughs*
Garcia: It was so funny!
-While Garcia and Morgan were laughing, Hotch and Rossi were watching everything from Hotch's office.
Hotch: They've gotten too far.
Rossi: We have to stop this.
Hotch: Who'll tell Morgan that we already know he has done the pranks?
-And they heard ANOTHER tiny waterfall, followed by a "That's it Morgan! I'm gonna get you!". Reid's voice sounded angered, Morgan and Garcia froze; now they were really scared.
Rossi: Looks like Reid did it.
Hotch: Payback time. Let's go.
Morgan: Garcia, trust me. He only said my name, they won't do anything to you baby!
Garcia: No no no no no. Morgan you promised! I'm going to hide in my lair. *leaves*
Morgan: This wasn't supposed to happen. Great, now I'm alone against those… those… those freaks! I'm dead.
-Hotch called a BAU meeting without Morgan or Garcia, they had to discuss Morgan's punishment. We had a pissed Hotch, a fuming JJ, a wet Reid, a burnt Rossi and a sick Emily sitting at the table.
JJ: A painted car, alcohol coffee, trash cans with water, a heated coin, a toothpaste cookie and… inflated condoms? Seriously? Morgan doesn't have anything else to do?
Rossi: I'm really mad at Morgan. Now I can't cook.
Prentiss: Could we end this quickly? I still feel sick…
Reid: Well Emily, the stomachache don't last more than two days except when it's something serious. I'll catch the flu and between the period of incubation, the prodromal period, the illness phase, the decline phase and the period of convalescence, I'll be ill for umm… a week and a half?
*silence*
Reid: I-I mean, look at me! I've been wet for 4 hours! And I don't have any spare clothes!
Hotch: Guys, focus please. Seriously what're we going to do?
RossI: Reid suggested a prank war.
Prentiss: Like the idea.
JJ: I think we all agree with that. Okay "G-man", tell us your ideas first.
Reid: Why me? I already said Morgan's punishment!
RossI: Well, you're a genius.
Hotch: That and the fact you're a psychics magician.
Reid: Oh… that makes sense… ummm…let's hack Morgan's computer?
Prentiss: C'mon! I expected more from our boy genius.
Reid: If life has learnt something, is not to underestimate me. I'm not resting until I find a way to make Morgan's life a hell! *leaves*
Hotch: Well played, you taunted him.
JJ: Knowing him, he'll come with some of the best ideas we've ever thought of.
Rossi: We're having fun tomorrow.
*The next day*
Morgan: Hey Hotch, do you have the paperwork for Strauss?
Hotch: Here, have it.
-Hotch handled Morgan some signed paperwork, Strauss threatened Morgan that if he didn't have the papers, she will do…things to him. Morgan left Hotch's office and didn't notice Hotch was smiling. He went to his desk because he also needed to sign the papers. He grabbed a pen and tried to sign but it was out of ink and he didn't have another so he kept trying. It suddenly painted and he totally screwed the signature.
Morgan: Hey Reid, do you have a correction pen?
Reid: Sure, here it is.
Morgan: Are you mad? You know… the water?
Reid: Ummm… no? I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all!
Morgan: Good to hear that kid.
-Morgan sat on his chair; he was going to use the correction pen. He shook it, big mistake. It exploded and covered the papers and Morgan's arm, hand and clothes with white ink. He was totally shocked and had a "WTF just happened!" face and Reid was smiling… he was so proud of his job… Everyone had seen the scene from Hotch's office and were ROFLMFAO. They just had their revenge, Morgan's face was a proof of it but they weren't satisfied… yet.
Morgan: Reid.
Reid: Yes?
Morgan: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU JUST DONE!
Reid: Potassium with water. Never fails.
Morgan: SERIOUSLY REID, THOSE PAPERS WERE FOR STRAUSS! DAMN YOU!
Reid: Well, you could… tell Hotch to give you another copy.
Morgan: I NEED THE ORIGINAL! IT WAS ALREADY SIGNED BY THE MAYOR! FUCK YOU REID!
-At this time, Morgan was yelling at Reid, he was REALLY pissed off. Even the ones who were inside the offices could hear Morgan screaming. Hotch and Rossi feared that Reid could freak out and the others only hoped he could keep everything in control.
Prentiss: Reid should tell him the truth. By now, Strauss has heard everything for sure.
Rossi: He'll tell him the truth when it's the right time. He's a smart kid.
JJ: I fear for Reid's safety. Seriously guys, we need to do something.
Hotch: We will. Later.
Prentiss: *whispers* Hotch is enjoying this, right?
JJ: *whispers* Well, how would you feel if someone painted your car pink?
Prentiss: I rest my case.
-Morgan was still yelling at Reid, but he only waited and waited. The team wondered what he was waiting for. Suddenly, the ground started to shake, all the agents were scared and tried to run, some people even said they saw Strauss running like if a serial killer was after her. The team were scared as well, Reid didn't say anything about this but they saw he was still sitting at his desk and he was calm… too calm… so the team didn't move, if this was a part of Reid's plan, that would ruin it. Morgan didn't care about Reid or the papers anymore. He just ran to the door, he opened it and… poor Morgan. A bucket with garbage fell onto his head; now he had white ink, papers, chewing gum, chocolates, food and plastics covering him. The building stopped shaking and Reid and the team started to laugh. Reid felt relieved, he wasn't sure if this would work or not. Also, the team wasn't aware of this, so it was really funny.
Morgan: Reid, you did this on purpose?
Reid: Of course! That was funny right?
Morgan: How did you make the whole building…?
Reid: A magician never reveals his secrets.
Morgan: You sneaky little bastard!
Reid: And by the way, those papers were fake. Hotch has the original.
-Reid stood up and was going to leave when Morgan talked to him:
Morgan: You didn't do this alone.
Reid: Yeah, the team is on this too. In fact, they watched everything from Hotch's office. And Morgan…
Morgan: What?
Reid: This is only the beginning.
-With that, Reid left and Morgan stared at Hotch's office, wondering what else they had for him and thinking what could he do to avoid them; but he couldn't think a way of how he could avoid five people that could pull a prank on him anytime, anywhere.
Morgan: I'm screwed.