A/N: Hola! It's Abbi and this is truly my first fanfiction….I tried one before but I kinda forgot about it, so…wish me luck!
When the first thing you here in the morning is, "BOOM!" it's safe to make crazy assumptions.
Such as, "Eraser attack! It's ninja-Fang time!"
But this time it was Iggy.
He'd burned off his eyebrows…again.
So when Max came bounding into my room, all out of breath, screaming, "Do you know what he did this time?" I kinda figured it out.
I chuckled; it's just like Max to freak out over an Iggy catastrophe. I guess it's a girl thing. After Max left to go kick Iggy's ass, I pulled on the usual clothes (black on black- it's the new black) and hurried down to the kitchen. Everyone was trying their best not to laugh at how ridiculous Iggy looked without any facial hair.
"OMG, Iggy, you look, like, so stup- stylish!" Nudge gabbed, shoveling a forkful of tater tots into her mouth.
Iggy smiled, "You know, I think I could probably start some kind of trend!" he fingered the red burn-marks above his eyes, serious.
Gazzy gave Iggy a thumbs-up, even if he couldn't see it, "Yeah, man! The ladies would be all over you!"
I glanced at Angel, who was eating five slices of bacon held together with syrup between each layer.
Yum.
Angel slid from her chair and whispered something to Iggy, who smiled mischievously just as Max walked in.
Boy, she looked pissed.
"Oh, my freaking god, Iggy!" she yelled, only she didn't say "freaking".
"I swear to god, when I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you blew me up along with that hole in the wall!"
"Hole in the wall!" I exclaimed, breaking my silent streak. No one had told me about a hole in the wall!
Max nodded furiously, "Yup!" she pointed to the living room, where for the first time that morning I noticed the huge gaping hole revealing the large garden outside.
"Oh my god! Iggy!"
Iggy shrugged, "What? I had only intended on creating a fire pit for roasting marsh mellows!"
I shook my head, "Shouldn't you have stuck the bomb on the ground, not the wall!"
Iggy bit his lip, "You know, that probably would have been a good idea."
Angel burst out laughing, she must have been holding it in the whole time, "Ahahaha! Iggy, not only do you look like a retard, you are one, too!"
Iggy got up from his seat, looking all fake hurt, "Hey!" he said, sticking out his bottom lip, "That was way to far, even for you, Angel! You hurt my feelings!" he wiped away fake tears.
Then, surprisingly, Max started giggling.
Confused, Iggy "looked" up at her, "What?"
Max fell on the floor, holding her stomach, "Omigod, Iggy you are so stupid!" she tried screaming this in an angry voice, but failed.
Angel gave Iggy a pointed look. At first, Iggy looked confused, raising the skin where his eyebrow should have been. Then, realization dawned over him and he smiled again.
"Hey Nudge," he purred in a voice much like that of Edward Cullen's. He draped an arm around Nudge's shoulder and turned his head to her dramatically, "How would you like to be the only bird-kid dating a guy with no eyebrows?"
Nudge started screaming in a fit of giggles, "OMG, Iggy, get a life!" she fell on the floor next to the still-writhing Max.
This time, Iggy looked genuinely confused.
I couldn't help it, I started to laugh myself. I put my hand on Gazzy's shoulder to keep from falling. I don't know why, but something about Iggy with no eyebrows just broke me.
Gazzy shrugged at no one and decided to join in on the fun, falling from under my grip and clutching his belly.
Iggy stood there; probably doing his best not to laugh along with us and grabbed our plates off the table, "Well, then! I guess all your bacon IS MINE!"
He dove for the last plate, mine, just before I had time to save my delicious, juicy bacon and held up the plates in triumph.
"Who's laughing now, huh?"
Basically everyone, still.
Annoyed, Iggy stalked off to his room. Along with his funny eyebrows…
And our beloved bacon.
Sometimes I hate that kid.
Okay, let me explain a bit. My name is Fang (but you probably already know that because of my awesomeness). I live with my kinda-sorta family of six: Max, the eldest; she's the hottest bird-kid-leader there is, Iggy; he's a little younger than me and a but of a pyromaniac, Nudge; the only person I know who can talk non-stop all the way from California to Virginia (believe me, I know this personally!), and Gazzy and Angel; the only truly related people in our family. They both have special powers. Angel, for some reason, has the ability to read minds, which makes living with her seriously uncomfortable, but at least we never have to give her the talk. Gazzy can mimic voices perfectly. Kind of like a parrot. A really annoying parrot who never goes away.
Oh yeah, and we can fly.
Probably should have mention that first.
A little while ago we escaped from this terrible place called the school. Then Jeb, the only person who could empathize with us, kidnapped us and took us here, somewhere in the mountains in a very square-ish state that I'm not telling you. He kept us safe until a couple years ago, when he disappeared.
Everyone else think he died.
Personally, I think he found a sexy bikini model and moved to Las Vegas.
Personally, okay? No one else believes me, but you never know!
Anyway, we've been living in this house for a while now, but lately, the eraser attacks have become more and more frequent. The erasers were the only other successful "experiments" at the school, other than us. They are part wolf and part human and they die way too young if you ask me. I mean, who would wanna die a seven year-old? And a virgin! Does anyone?
I didn't think so.
The school uses the erasers as their little pawns. Apparently, they're too chickened to come out and fight us ourselves, so they send the erasers in.
But of course, it's so easy to kick an eraser's butt that they have to send in hundreds.
Doesn't matter to me, it just means I don't have to go to the gym.
But there was something we didn't know that was going to happen. And on that day of all days, when we were at our happiest, the erasers attacked.
Whoever god is, or whether I'm just some character in a story (that's silly, right?), would whoever you are please keep the maximum "BOOMS!" I have to hear every day to a zero?
Should I even bother asking?
So the second time I heard a "BOOM" that day, it wasn't anything half as funny as burned-off eyebrows.
Ten erasers blasted into the kitchen with extreme force, landing perfectly at all the exits.
I'd give them a nine, they lacked pizzazz.
We all shot up, feeling badass when we cracked our knuckles simultaneously.
"Ten of you? Really? Is that the best those douche-bags can do?" Max scoffed, "I won't even chip a nail!" she delivered a fast kick to the one standing behind her, hitting him where it hurts the most. He screamed (a lot like a little girl, I must say) and collapsed.
Max shrugged, smirking, "What? I didn't like him checking me out!"
But then something seriously funny turned into something just serious.
The roof disappeared.
I'm not kidding.
It disappeared.
What a "holy shit!" moment, right?