I will still remember, angel flying too close to the ground.

i. Grape Kool Aid.

That would bring pain. This sickening, heart in your throat, agony. The one that made him wanna die, so he could be with her again, see her face. It made him squeeze his eyes shut, as if he could just block the pain out. It never worked. It would always get his heart first, the thing that she stole. Then he would just feel it everywhere, just for a couple of seconds. Then it would calm, but it would always be there.

That's usually around the time he goes to a bar and sleeps with some random hoe.

ii. Two.

''Okay, get ready.'' Nathan prepared to throw the baseball to his son. ''One, Two...'' He threw the ball quickly, hoping to catch Jamie out.

''Dad,'' The eight year old whined. ''You counted to two, you're supposed to count to three!''

''Well in games people don't usually count,'' he stated. ''They're sneaky, Jame. If you're not paying attention they'll catch you out. You wanna try again? We can call it a day if you want.''

Jamie shook his head, holding the baseball bat up. ''No, I wanna play.'' He looked to the left, where his dad's best friend was stood watching them earlier, preparing to fetch a new ball if Jamie hit it really far. Only this time, he wasn't there. ''Hey, where did Clay go?''

Nathan frowned, turning around to see his business partner run across the parking lot and into his car.

Weird, he thought, before shaking his head. ''He must have to meet Aunt Quinn or something,'' he shrugged, holding the ball back up. ''Okay, try again.''

iii. Rings.

He walked into the house, like he usually does.

(Who knocks in Tree Hill, anyway?)

''Hey Hales,'' he greeted his friend, who was frantically searching the kitchen for something. ''Where's Nate?''

''Out with Jamie, the usual.'' Haley said quickly, rummaging through one of the cupboards.

He frowned. ''Uh, are you okay?''

''I lost my wedding ring,'' she cried breathlessly, running a hard through her medium length, dark blonde hair. ''I mean, who would willingly take off their wedding ring? I just... I was just cleaning, but it was really irritating me so I took it off. But now it's just gone.''

Who would willingly take off their wedding ring?

He glanced down at his left hand. His ring less left hand, the one that still felt strangely light, despite how long it's been since she's been gone. He could sometimes swear that he can still see a mark there, where it used to be, but then he reminds himself that it's not possible. That ring, it's with her now, where it always will be.

''I did.''

iv. Angel Flying too Close to the Ground.

Quinn tugged on his hand, pulling him into the Baker household. Wait- Davis-Baker household. She had a certain glint in her eye as she nodded towards the living room, where Brooke was, still not seeing them.

He didn't care about that; he could just hear their song.

I knew that someday you would fly away...

Then he noticed Brooke Davis, dancing around the living room slowly, with the three month old Jude balanced on her hip (she had made them all realise the twins differences so they never got confused), humming the words to him softly as he rested his head on the crook of her neck, falling asleep.

That could be Sara, dancing to that song with a baby in her arms, theirs.

Guilt washed over him. He loved Quinn, he really did. She was this breath of fresh air that took away the weight of the day. But it wasn't the same. With Quinn it was more about passion and romance, but with Sara it was about love, commitment and everything else in between. That's what probably drawn him to the James girl. She so different compared to his first love.

But because of her, he couldn't see Sara anymore.

Once he allowed himself to have true, honest feelings for Quinn, his wife suddenly wasn't at TRIC, or on the porch, or anywhere. She was fading away. He let go, and so did she. No longer did he have this comfort blanket, or support. He then felt all that pain, all the hurt of her not being there. So he glided towards Quinn, who always made him feel better.

Katie, she helped. It was freaky, but at least he could actually see her face. Right there, in front of his eyes. Not just in his head, not a figment of his imagination, but the spitting image of his wife, looking and talking to him. It wasn't the same, because this chick was crazy. But she looked just like Sara, so somehow it didn't matter as much.

(You know, before she shot him).

And he knew that that couldn't possibly be some weird, beyond the grave spirit that made it happen. Sara was the one who wanted him to be with Quinn, she wanted him to move on. She was the complete opposite of her doppelganger.

She had a heart.

v. Fire.

The guys sat around the campfire. After last year when they were spotting the bird, they had decided to make it an annual thing. Chase wasn't there, because he was still away. Julian was texting Brooke every two minutes, checking on the twins. Nathan kept calling Haley, after discovering that Lydia had just learnt a new word. Chuck and Jamie were simply bickering about Madison.

It wasn't very entertaining.

But he couldn't keep his eyes away from the fire.

It was bright; all the bright colours were flying around. Gold, red, yellow, orange. All mixed together to make a hypnotising, paralysing thing that kept on stealing his attention.

We burned so bright together.

He smiled and continued to stare at the fire, still burning away.

No matter how old he grows, or how long it will be since she died, it's always going to be there.

They were perfect with each other. And they always will be.

That was never going to go away.

Because nothing can replace who they were or what they had, no one can.

He believed that, that's why she's still here, in his mind. He still thinks about her every single day, occasional things still remind him of her, their song still plagues his mind. Because even though he still let go, you can never truly let go of the person you always loved, and always will. It was impossible, at least for him, anyway. She was Mrs. Sara Kay Evans. His wife, his best friend, his soul mate.

He won't lose that.

AN: I've had Clay/Sara in my head for about an hour, and then suddenly this was complete. I was just so mad that Clay barely ever mentioned Sara, except from a tiny mention in his love declaration for Quinn. So I wanted to show that he does still think of her, even though he loves Quinn. I don't ship that couple, but I did a little in the finale on the balcony, and the book and the paper was sweet. The song was angel flying too close to the ground by willie nelson. The CS song.

Anyway, I'd love to know what you thought, so if you have time, please review! x