So…

This is for my girl Dalloway5906. Her birthday is today. She has had an epically shitty week…which is at the end of an equally shitty year. I really hope that this next year is epic for you my girl…you deserve it.

I love you.

So for you Monica…here, finally is Kate and Garrett.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he pushed the sheets back and got up off the bed.

"I need to hunt." He said, and I could feel the despair settle over me.

"Can you just…" I start to say, trying to keep my voice level but of course he can see right through my bravado and he leans over me as I lay on the bed, my eyes closed.

"I wish…" He whispers and I don't want him to continue that thought. I know what he wishes. I wish for the same thing.

"Just go." I breathe as I turn over and pray for the tears that I know would feel so good right now.

But they do not come.

"Kate…" He says as he stands up and I pull the covers over my head.

Is it childish?

Yes it is, but I can think of nothing else I can do to stop the pain.

"I'll be back." He says and I manage to keep my sobs quiet until he leaves.

And then I let it all out.

*()*()*

When the Volturi left he told me he would follow me anywhere.

But he did not mean he would follow my lifestyle.

He tried to go 'vegetarian.'

But he was unable to stomach the blood, he said.

So he went back to his old way of life.

Seducing women in bars and draining them dry.

It is slowly killing me.

I feel the betrayal every time he leaves.

I cannot go on like this.

I cannot.

*()*()*

"Kate…where is Garrett?" Carlisle asks as I reach into the car for my bags.

He has accepted me with open arms.

I didn't tell him why I needed to leave Alaska.

I just told him I was looking for a place to crash.

And they opened their doors to me.

But now…

I can feel the emptiness inside me even more as I watch Carlisle wrap Esme up in his arms.

I had that.

But I had to let it go.

Before it killed me.

*()*()*

"Kate, do you want to come out with us?" Rose asks kindly as she pulls on a beautiful white coat.

I would have that covered in blood and dirt in a second if I wore that hunting.

Yet she will come back looking immaculate.

Bitch.

"No, thanks though Rose." I say and I know she can see right through me.

But she chooses to ignore my lie and waves goodbye as she follows Emmett out the door.

I envy them.

I know they have had their hard fought battles in the past.

Rose has never had a drop of human blood.

But Emmett has.

I know it killed her when she had to leave Carlisle and Esme and Edward when Emmett killed his singer.

But she stood by her mate.

And suddenly I feel like the lowest form of scum.

Because I left when the going got tough.

Instead of staying with him when he was struggling.

*()*()*

The banging on the door startles me as I try to pack my bags.

Before I can put the sweater I'm folding down, the door to my room flies open.

And there he stands.

His eyes are blood red and mine close and the images of him taking a woman play through my mind…

Sinking his teeth into the delicate skin of her throat.

His lips against her flesh as he takes greedy pulls of her blood.

His hands gentle on her as she slowly stills in his arms.

Will he lay her tenderly on the bed after she is gone?

Will he close her eyes before he leaves?

There are too many questions that threaten to drive me insane.

"You need to come home." He says as he balls his hands into fists.

"I don't know where my home is." I say and I watch the pain flit across his face.

"Your home is where I am." He whispers and I close my eyes against the agony his words bring.

"I can't do this anymore."

His gasp is audible as he absorbs my words.

"I can't think about you with them. And you can't adapt to our lifestyle. So we are at an impasse." I say as I start to take the clothes I so carefully folded out of the bag.

What was I thinking?

How could this ever work?

Yes, Rose left her family to be with Emmett but they were together in their singular existence.

We are not.

"Katie…" He says and I can't hold in the sob as he uses my nickname.

"I love you…I would do anything you asked of me…" He says but I stop him.

"You will not do the most important thing. How would you feel if I were to leave you once a month to go and drink from a male? How would you feel, thinking about him in my arms? Thinking of my lips against his flesh? Using him as my sustenance? He would be with me for weeks, coursing through my veins. Even if I were with you…he would be with me as well. Now think of how it has been for me." I admit and I watch it finally gets through to him.

All my pain…

All I have suffered.

"YOU ARE MINE!" He snarls as he comes at me.

I am thrown on the bed and his mouth is on mine.

I try not to think about where else it had been.

His hands rip and tear at my clothes and I let him.

We need this.

He needs to see my pain.

How my soul has bled while he was out drinking from human women.

My arms wrap around his shoulders as I link my ankles together behind his back.

He thrusts into me and it is rough and hard and…

Perfect.

His hands grip my hair tight and he forces my face up to him.

"You are mine." He whispers and I close my eyes.

"I'll change…I'll eat the animals. I can't…I won't hurt you anymore." He breathes and I try to stifle a sob but it breaks free.

"I'm sorry my love."

"I love you." I say against his lips as he kisses me.

And then all our other words are lost as we revel in the manifestation of our love.

He feels so good as he moves inside of me.

I have been with so many over the years.

But it has never been this good.

I love him with everything that I am.

"Katie…" He moans as I start to shake and shudder beneath him.

"Yes Garrett…yes!" I sigh as I keep my eyes on his as I reach that crest.

He bares his teeth and he looks so feral when his thrusts start to falter as he gets closer.

I know what will send him over the edge and I thread my fingers through his hair and shock him.

His head arches back and his mouth opens on a scream as he spills inside of me.

The room is silent as we relax against each other.

"I love you." He whispers against my temple and I close my eyes.

"I love you." I answer because there is no other choice for me.

I love him.

"I will follow you anywhere, even into the woods to eat a deer." He says, trying to keep his laughter quiet, but he does not succeed.

I laugh with him and for the first time in all of my centuries on this planet I find I am finally happy.

*wink wink*

Love you…