Magnus couldn't live without him any longer. He needed Alec in his life. He thought that since he was going to die anyway, why cause him the pain later, then now. Magnus could get it all out of his system. He won't have to look at those beautiful, vibrant blue eyes or the pale skin with sprils and black runes craved into his skin.
It didn't help. Thinking of what was once his. He misses him too much to just let him go like that. He was hurting too much, from the betrayal of what Alec did behind his back and the knowlegde that HE broke things off with Alec. Magnus caused half of this pain inside of him. Magnus was wondering what his Shadowhunter was doing. Probably thinking of was to still try to take away my immortality, Magnus thought to himself.
Trust was what caused their brake up, not Camille, but him not trusting Alec with his past. Why couldn't trust his love with his history. Sure he might get jealous and they will have fights, but is it not what couples do? Can he trust that he won't lose Alec after one of their notorious fights? One of them always comes backs, in more ways than one. At the end of the day, they were lying in bed happy, or at least he thought so.
Alec couldn'to handle this type of pain. His first heart brake And it doesn't feel because he couldn't feel anything. When Jace and Izzy walk by his room, while he was crying, he could always hear the hesitate steps as they walked by. He doesn't want to be a problem. Their are other people feeling just like him. Alec knew he wouldn't be the first or the last to get his heart broken.
That is when it really hits Alec like a thousands of demons ambushed him in a dark alley with his only protection was a small dagger. He was no one special. He wasn't special, to Magnus, as he would never be. He is just a past lover of many, thrown away as if he is just a piece of old pizza. Tasty, desirable fresh hot pizza at first, then as a leftover nobody wants, thrown away as if he didn't matter anymore.
I should not down grade myself, Alec thought to himself. I'm just a person who makes mistakes, but a person nonetheless. Magnus was his first love, but that is just it. Magnus is his FIRST love. Life is not over- well unless Sebastian rules then I guess it is- he is still young. He could find other people, move on from Magnus. Magnus probably already moved on from him. Why should he wallow in self-pity? Sure he made a huge mistake in their relationship, but that is how people learn. By making mistakes. It is not his fault Magnusdidn't trust him with his past, but that was now Magnus' problem. No longer his, any longer.
He's going to move on from Magnus, but not without some help.
He's going to be strong for himself and if maybe he gets Magnus back when Alec is trying to get over him, who cares? This is for himself.
So.. How's it going? Just thought I should change and add variety to my archive. This may be a chapter story, all depends on you guys. Sorry to make the first chapter so short. I wanted to make it longer, but I promise next time, if there is a next time. Just want any evidence that somewhere out there, their reading this story, so thanks.