I've had a lot of stories in my 'unfinished stories' folder and figured I'd try to get some of them.
This is Kogan, obviously.
No, I don't own the BTR guys or their characters. Just a fan.
…
It was weird for Kendall to say the least. He stared at Logan, but he didn't see anything different than the smart friend he had known forever it seemed.
Yet everything was different in so many ways.
Logan wasn't just Logan anymore. He was so much more.
To Kendall at least.
And Logan didn't know it.
Kendall wasn't sure what had changed either, but it was something so catastrophic that it caught him by surprise every time.
Anytime they'd begin to talk, if Logan asked him a question, Kendall would go to respond, only for his throat to tighten and chest ache; he could barely get a sentence out.
Kendall was never speechless.
That was the first sign of something different happening to him.
Then, when they were practicing, and they would sing together, Kendall would forget his words whenever Logan began to sing, whether together with someone else or a solo.
Kendall didn't forget the words to songs; he was Kendall!
Kendall had tried to talk to his mom about what was going on, because she was always there, ready to give him advice on anything and everything; although her words weren't so helpful this time, for they just confused him even more.
"Mom, I think I'm sick."
"What do you mean Kendall?" his mom had asked, looking at him in concern as she placed a hand against his forehead.
"I'm not sure. Is it possible to be allergic to someone?" Kendall was grasping for anything that could explain his behavior.
"I don't think so," she had chuckled. "Tell me what's going on."
"Every time I try to talk to Logan, I get flushed and my throat tightens and my chest hurts. I can barely talk to him! Then when we go to sing, and I hear him, I forget my words!" She looked at him, eyes betraying her calm demeanor with their shock.
"If I didn't know better, I would say it sounds like you have a crush," she had chuckled, brushing her hair from her face. Kendall was speechless as he stared at his mom for a moment.
"Are you insane?!" he had finally asked, making her shake her head.
"It was just a statement." Kendall was gone though, getting up and leaving his mom behind. He heard her sigh but he didn't stop to look at her; instead he went straight to Jo's apartment and asked her for her opinion on his weird sickness.
She had responded like his mom had.
"Wow," she said between laughs, as if he had told her the funniest joke, "It sounds like you have a man-crush!"
"What? Why does everyone say that!" he had exclaimed, leaving her alone as well. He wandered around aimlessly it seemed until he had run into Katie, his little sister, and probably the second smartest person he had ever met.
"What's got you so down Big Brother?"
"Everyone thinks I have a…crush on Logan."
"Do you?"
"No! I just… I feel weird around him!"
"Weird how?" Kendall could tell Katie was in Therapist-mode, so he sat down to talk to her.
"Whenever I'm around him I get speechless and just feel weird."
"Uh-huh… and when did this start?"
"I don't know, a couple of weeks ago maybe?"
"Uh-huh… Well Big Brother, I hate to say it but I think you do like Logan."
"No I don't! I'm straight! Why would I suddenly like my best friend?" Katie sighed and looked him straight in the eyes.
"If you stopped denying it, you'd probably see what's going on in that heart of yours." Kendall groaned and stood up, storming away from her. He hurried back to the apartment, avoiding anyone and everyone. Collapsing on his bed, he closed his eyes and willed his thoughts to stop, trying to figure out what was going on.
Eventually, he fell into a dream-filled sleep.
…
~Dream sequence!
Kendall woke up and stretched tiredly as he made his way to the kitchen. Seeing no one in sight, he shrugged and headed out, thinking maybe he'd lounge out by the pool. Even as he made his way out into the hallway, there was still no one to be seen.
He did notice two strings, one a blazing red, the other a glowing gold, attached to each wall. Looking at them in surprise, he placed one hand on each and followed them, where they led towards the lobby before they split into different directions.
"Kendall?" he heard a voice he recognized, but he couldn't place it in the void empty space of the lobby.
"Kendall!" another voice, more urgent and demanding called out to him, so urgent that the red string vibrated under his fingertips.
"Kendall? Where are you?" the first voice soothed him, and he could tell it came from the direction that the gold string led.
"Kendall! Get over here!" the second voice demanded, making the red string quiver. He looked between both strings, wondering which one would lead him to where he should go.
"Kendall? Are you okay?" the voice was concerned for him, cared for him; he could tell.
"Kendall, what's taking you so long!" the voice demanded every part of his being, and, if he was honest with himself, he didn't like it talking to him that way.
With that thought, he removed his hand from the red string and followed the gold one, to whoever it led him to.
He went past the empty pool towards a closed cabana.
"Hello?" he called out, not seeing anyone.
"Kendall?" he felt his whole body relax as the voice called out his name.
"Where are you?"
"In here." Kendall took a deep breath and stepped inside, letting the flap fall shut behind him. The light was dim in here, and he didn't see anyone at first, before a silhouette was outlined in front of him.
"You," he whispered as the person turned around.
"Finally," Logan said, and Kendall could help the way his heart sped up at his smile. He finally noticed that the gold string was tied to Logan's wrist. "It took you long enough."
"I didn't know which way to go."
"I was worried about that," Logan said, reaching his hand out to Kendall. "Now's the time to decide." Kendall looked at Logan's hand, about to grab it when he heard the other voice.
"Kendall Knight! I'm waiting!" the voice was urgent and high, screeching for him. He looked back to where he could see a glimmer of the red string fluttering in the lobby. He looked back at Logan and smiled.
"You," Kendall said, reaching for Logan's hand. Once their skin touched, the gold string wrapped around Kendall's wrist, connecting them.
And he knew it was forever.
Logan smiled as Kendall pulled him close, their lips inching closer and closer together.
They barely touched before Kendall heard an angry scream and everything turned black.
~End dream sequence
…
Kendall jolted up in bed with a gasp, running his hand through his hair as he tried to catch his breath.
He had dreamt of Logan. He had chosen Logan over anyone else, just by following his heart.
What did that mean for him?
And how would Logan feel once Kendall figured out what was happening to him?
…
Kendall walked into the kitchen slowly, not seeing anyone but Katie. And he knew that she was the one that he could tell anything and everything to, well besides Logan, and he couldn't tell Logan this.
"Hey Baby Sister," he said, sitting next to her.
"What's up?"
"I fell asleep after we talked earlier."
"Uh-huh, and…?"
"I had a dream. I had to choose between Logan and someone else; it think it was Jo."
"And you chose Logan."
"I chose Logan."
"What's that tell you?"
"That I … I like him," Kendall said quietly, eyes distant.
"And how does that make you feel, admitting it like that?"
"It feels…" Kendall paused, trying to figure out how he was feeling. His chest and shoulders both felt lighter, and he even felt a little happy. "Good."
"Good," she said, giving him a small smile. "Now, you need to figure out what you're gonna do with this new-found knowledge of yours."
"I don't know. I still like Jo-"
"I thought you "loved" her?"
"I… I don't know anymore. I do still care for her…"
"Maybe you need to convince Logan to go on a date with you, and then you can see who's more important to you and who you really see yourself with." Kendall nodded and gave her a hug.
"You're right. As always."
"Of course I am."
…
Kendall was feeling pretty confident that he could get Logan alone. He had a plan; he always had a plan.
He would just ask Logan to hang out with him alone, and he would turn it into a date as the night progressed.
But he didn't expect to find Jo at the far end of the lobby while Logan was at the far end of the pool, chilling under a cabana.
This was too much like his dream to be a coincidence.
Logan saw him first, giving him a small wave. "Kendall!" he said happily, and Kendall had to swallow his dry tongue at the sound of his friend's voice. He smiled and waved back.
"Kendall!" He looked over at Jo, his smile drooping a bit. Jo waved him over furiously, eyes sparkling at him. He looked between Logan, who was watching him curiously. He looked back at Jo and took a deep breath. He shook his head and shrugged.
She looked appalled that he hadn't come to her.
"Hey," he said to Logan as he made his way to him. Logan just gave him a smile. "What?"
"Well… there's a rumor going around the Palm Woods…" Kendall felt his smile drop as Logan continues to smile and raises an eyebrow. "About you."
"I don't care about rumors, you know that."
"Uh-huh," Logan said, crossing his arms. He let that sit there for a moment before Kendall gave in.
"What is this rumor?" Logan looked smugly at Kendall and shrugged.
"That you have a crush on… someone, which is not your girlfriend." Kendall's jaw dropped as he stared at Logan, who looked at him in surprise. "Is it true?"
"Logan, it's not what it sounds like." Logan just shook his head and stared at the dark blue material of the canopy above them. "Logie. Please. I actually came out here to talk to you about-"
"It's not Camille is it?" Kendall was taken aback by this. So Logan doesn't know it's him? He thought, staring at Logan, who wouldn't look at him. Kendall finally chuckled.
"No, it's definitely not Camille." Logan visibly relaxed and smiled at Kendall now.
"Okay. So what's up?"
"I wanted to know… would you like to hang out tonight? Just us?"
"… Just us?"
"Just us. No bandmates, no managers, and no… girlfriends," he said slowly, making Logan raise an eyebrow at him for a moment before he gave a small strangled cry of surprise and his eyes widened, but still he nodded.
"Sure. Tonight."
Kendall was pretty sure that Logan figured it out.
…
"S-so, what did you want to do tonight?" Logan asked as Kendall drove them away from the Palm Woods.
"I was thinking we could maybe see a movie then grab a bite to eat."
"Y-yeah, sounds good." Logan was surprised he was stuttering. This was Kendall he was with. Why should it bother him that he asked him to hang out, just them? "Why did you ask me to hang out tonight and not bring anyone with us?"
"Logie… I don't want to talk about that right now," Kendall said quietly, taking a deep breath. "Just please, trust me." Logan nodded and looked at his friend.
"Are you gonna finally tell me who you have a crush on?"
"Later."
…
Kendall and Logan were the only people in the theater; Kendall couldn't help but think of how lucky it was for him so he could try to tell Logan what was wrong with him.
And then he realized it didn't matter, because Logan would never let him hold his hand or anything else like that; so, he settled with putting his arm around the back of the seat.
Logan didn't move away.
…
What's going on with Kendall? Who could it be that he likes? Why did he have to bring me out alone to tell me? It's not Camille, so who else could it be that would make him so nervous around me?
Logan's thoughts were on overdrive as Kendall settled his arm around the back of his seat. Logan got comfy and tried to focus on the movie in front of them, but he found it hard to do.
Who does Kendall hang out with enough that could actually distract his attention from Jo? Kendall loves her! Or at least, he used to.
"Give me a hint about who you like," Logan whispered, turning his dark eyes to Kendall's light ones. Kendall smirked and leaned closer to him.
"You know them."
I know them?! That's not very helpful! I know a lot of people.
"How well do I know them?"
"Very well."
Very well? Who do I know very well besides the people I live with? And I know there's no way Kendall could ever like a guy! He just reeks of straight-ness… Doesn't he?
Logan looked at Kendall, who was watching the movie, his arm still slung over Logan's seat. Kendall was biting his lip and trying his hardest to not look at Logan.
Logan recognized that look.
Oh Kendall…
…
As they left the theater, Kendall looked at Logan, who looked very solemn as he stared at his feet as they walked. Kendall was pretty sure that he had figured it out, or at least had some suspicions. Kendall didn't want to lose Logan like this, but he was afraid that he would.
As they got in the car, Logan asked quietly, "Where are we going to go eat at?"
"That's a surprise my dear Logie," Kendall said, trying to keep his tone light. He looked over to see Logan give him a small smile.
Maybe not all hope was lost after all.
…
"Uh, Kendall," Logan said as they pulled up in front of the restaurant.
"Yeah?"
"This is one of the well-known couple's restaurants…" his voice trailed off as Kendall smirked
"Yeah. But they have AMAZING food. Totally worth the weird stares we'll get…"
"Uh-huh…" Oh Kendall, what am I going to do with you?
"Come on Logie, it'll be good." Logan knew he couldn't resist Kendall as they walked in. "Two for Knight," he told the perky hostess, who smiled at him.
"Right this way boys." The two of them followed the woman through the maze of tables in the dimly lit area. "Here we are. Secluded, just like you requested Mr. Knight."
"Thank you," Kendall said, tipping her before sitting down, Logan across from him.
"It was my pleasure. Now, your waiter will be with you shortly." Quickly, she departed, leaving them alone.
"Kendall…" Kendall sighed; he knew that tone of Logan's voice.
"What?"
"Is it me?"
"Do we have to talk about this now?"
"I guess not. It's just… this feels an awful lot like a… date," Logan whispered, blushing as he said the words. Kendall sighed again.
"Logan-" Kendall was interrupted as their waiter appeared. After quickly placing their orders, they continued to talk. "Logan… I just… I've been feeling different around you lately. I didn't believe I could like you because I've never had a guy affect me like you. I even talked to my mom and Jo and Katie about what was going on. And they all responded the same; they said I had a man-crush on you."
Kendall was quiet, letting that soak into Logan's thoughts.
"What happened after you talked to them?"
"I didn't believe them. I couldn't."
"What changed?"
"I… I fell asleep." Logan snorted but Kendall shook his head and continued on. "I had a dream. I left the apartment and found two strings, one red, one gold, attached to the wall. I ended up placing a hand on each and followed them until I reached the lobby. They went in different directions. One led out to a cabana by the pool, the other at the end of the lobby. Then, I heard voices. I had to choose which one I wanted to go to."
"And you chose me."
"Yeah."
"Kendall-"
"Let me finish first, okay?" Logan nodded and Kendall smiled before speaking. "When I woke up, I headed out towards the lobby. And then… I had to make a choice. You were by the pool, and Jo was down at the end of the lobby. It was like my dream. And you know what I did?"
"You came to me."
"I came to you."
"Kendall-"
"I don't expect you to return my feelings Logan. I am still dating Jo after all. And I do like Jo. But there's… there's something special about you. There always has been. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."
Kendall was silent then, letting his words register in Logan's brain.
But he forgot one thing.
Logan was a genius.
He had already figured out what Kendall had just told him.
Now, he just had to wait and see what happened.
Their food arrived, and they ate in silence, only exchanging polite conversation about the food in front of them.
As they waited for dessert, Logan looked at Kendall and gave him a soft smile.
"Kendall," Logan started, taking a deep breath. "I think… I think you should talk to Jo."
"Jo?" Kendall was surprised and confused; he didn't think that his friend would go down that route yet.
"Yeah. You know, your girlfriend? I would talk to her first before anything else."
"Anything else?"
"Yeah."
That's all Logan would say on the matter, leaving Kendall more confused than when they had arrived.
They ate dessert in peace.
…
The next day Kendall sat in Jo's apartment, sitting across from her.
"What did you need to talk to me about?" she asked, looking at him with her big doe eyes.
"Well… Jo… Remember the other day when I talked to you about how I was feeling around Logan lately?"
"Yeah…"
"I thought about how I've been feeling, and I realized that maybe, maybe, I do have feelings for him."
"Oh."
"And I hung out with him the other night. And I told him how I've been feeling."
"Y-you told him?" Kendall looked up at her then, catching her shocked expression. "How'd he respond?"
"He took it better than I thought, but he told me to talk to you first."
"Did he return your feelings?"
"I don't think so…"
"What about me? Do you still care for me?"
"Of course I do Jo! I love you! But… there's something there with Logan. I'm sorry."
"Are you… breaking up with me?"
"No… yes… I don't know!" Jo sniffled and looked at Kendall.
"I'll make it easy on you then. We're over."
"What?"
"I love you too, but you do obviously seem to like Logan. I mean… if you want to try to pursue that, I won't hold you back. If it doesn't work out, we can pick up where we left off okay?" she said, reaching for his hands. "I love you Kendall Knight."
"I love you too Jo Taylor."
"I hope you get yourself worked out," she said, kissing his cheek. "I'm gonna miss you." He nodded and kissed her cheek back before leaving her apartment and heading to his own.
Now, he just had to talk to Logan.
…
Logan looked up from his laptop when Kendall walked in.
"Hey," Kendall said, just kind of standing there awkwardly. "What are you doing?"
"Just catching up on some homework. What's up?"
"I….I talked to Jo."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
"We broke up." Logan dropped his eyes to his feet at Kendall's words.
"Because of me?" Kendall shrugged even though Logan wasn't looking at him.
"Well… yeah. Kinda. But it's okay. I just… I needed to sort my feelings out."
"Kendall, I'm straight. You know that right?"
"I was too, until you snuck into my mind."
"Don't try to blame this on me."
"I'm not!" Logan looked up then, and Kendall was surprised to find the heartbreak in his friend's eyes.
"Kendall… I wish I could like you back, like you like me. But I can't." Kendall looked at Logan, perfect Logan, and he realized he was single. If he wanted… then why didn't he? Kendall put out his hand and looked at his friend.
"Come here." Logan looked at him and shook his head. "Logan. Come on," Kendall said, grabbing Logan's hand and pulling him to his feet. "I'm gonna do something."
"Don't. Kendall, please."
"Sorry, but I gotta," Kendall said, giving Logan his famous Knight smile.
"Kendall-" Logan was cut off by Kendall's lips on his. He stood still as Kendall kissed him. Logan didn't even notice his arms had snaked around Kendall's waist until Kendall pulled away and rested his forehead against Logan's. "Why?"
"Had to."
"Kendall," Logan said, finally getting out of his embrace. "I can't. I'm straight. I'm sorry." Logan walked away from him and left the apartment.
He could feel the sad gaze of his friend on his back as he left.
But he couldn't look back.
…
"So, you got the hots for Logan huh?" James said around a mouthful of chips that night as he and Kendall sat on the couch. Logan had been gone all day since Kendall had kissed him, and they had no idea where or what Carlos was doing.
"Yeah."
"Whatcha gonna do?"
"Nothing."
"Why not?"
"He's straight."
"Bullshit."
"What?"
"I always figured if one of us was gonna be gay, it would be him."
"Oh please, what about you?"
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with liking to look good!"
"Whatever. So, you think he's gay?"
"Maybe. I don't know. My gaydar isn't as good out here as it was back in Minnesota. There's a lot of them out here. They screwed it up."
"Oh yeah, like who?"
"The Jennifers, Jett, Bitters-"
"What?!"
"That's just the tip of the iceberg my friend," James said, clasping his shoulder. "Logan could be. But I don't know for sure."
"He's not."
"Are you sure?"
"I don't know. He said he wished he could like me back like I like him…"
"Well then, maybe there's hope."
…
Logan sat out by the pool, letting his thoughts wander.
Which he rarely did.
"Hey genius, you okay?" he looked up to see Lucy standing in front of him, a sympathetic look in her eyes.
"Yeah, I guess."
"You don't sound so sure," she said, pulling up a chair and sitting next to him. "Talk to Lucy. What's up?"
"Kendall's got this crazy thought implanted in his brain."
"When doesn't he have something crazy cooking up there?" she joked, making him smile a bit. "What's going on with Kendall?"
"He thinks… He thinks he likes me."
"Whoa."
"Yeah."
"Do you like-"
"No!" he said before she could even finish her statement. "I don't."
"Logan…"
"No, Lucy, don't even go there."
"Well why not? Kendall's hot. There's nothing wrong with liking him."
"Him and Jo aren't together anymore, because he thinks he likes me! I ended a relationship!"
"So? If he doubted his feelings for Jo, then that relationship wasn't obviously as strong as they thought. Or the fact that Jo didn't fight for him has to mean something right?" Logan was silent as he looked at her. "Don't be afraid Logan. Kendall's a big sweetheart."
"I can't, Lucy. I just can't."
"You can Logan," she said, smiling. "Fine, let's play 'what-if'."
"Okay…"
"What if I went up to your apartment right now and kissed Kendall. What would you do?" She smirked as she saw the anger rise up in the dark brown orbs.
"I wouldn't care," he said stiffly, making her laugh.
"You suck at lying Logan."
"I know," he sighed, propping his chin on his bent knees. "But I can't like another guy… let alone Kendall."
"Why the hell not?"
"It just wouldn't work. Besides I'm dating Camille… I think."
"You think?"
"It's hard to know where I stand with that girl sometimes." Lucy nodded in understanding while Logan frowned. "What do I do about Kendall?"
"Follow your heart Logan. That's the best advice I can give you I think. Only you know what you want."
"Do I?"
"Of course. Just listen to your heart Logan. It'll lead you where you need to go."
"My brain usually leads the way."
"Well, this time, tell it to shut up. That big brain of yours isn't gonna be able to figure this out; but that big heart of yours will." Logan smiled as she got up and playfully punched him in the arm. "Good luck genius."
"Thanks." Logan watched her go for a minute before he lied back in the pool chair, his hands coming to rest behind his head. He sat there and let thoughts of Kendall float around, trying to figure out what he needed to do. His eyes were about to slip close when he heard someone call his name; sitting up, he saw Camille walking towards him, looking… peaceful; that raised a red flag in his mind immediately.
Camille was never peaceful.
"Logan, I'm glad I found you," she said, sliding into the chair Lucy had occupied earlier. "We need to talk?"
"We do?"
"Yeah. I just left Jo's." Logan felt the smile and color leave his face as she looked at him. "So… Kendall likes you huh?"
"Apparently so."
"And you like him?" Logan looked at her, trying to read her eyes, her face; she was keeping it impassive though as they talked.
"I'm… I'm not sure. I have never, in my life, thought men were attractive. I have no desire to ever be with a man. But…"
"This isn't a man. It's Kendall."
"Right."
"Logan, if there's any doubt in your mind at all about your feelings for me, for Kendall, then you gotta pursue that."
"But-"
"Logan, I believe in true love, in soul-mates… if there's any doubt in your mind, then give Kendall a chance."
"What if it doesn't work out?"
"I think," Camille said, choosing her words carefully, "If it doesn't work, for whatever reason, that you two have a strong enough friendship that nothing can split you two apart." Logan looked up, catching the darkening sky with a few glimmering stars.
"You know," he said, voice going soft, "When we were in Minnesota, we would always sit outside and just look at the stars; sometimes I'd have my telescope, he'd have his guitar… it would be like we were the only two in the world."
"It sounds nice."
"It was. I don't want to lose moments like that."
"Logan," Camille said, placing a hand on his arm, drawing his attention to her. "You can have so much more good moments with him. Don't hold back."
"Gustavo is going to hate it."
"Sick Mama Knight on him." Logan chuckled and looked at Camille, who smiled sympathetically at him. "It's okay Logan. You owe this to yourself." Logan finally smiled, making her own grin turn to one of joy. "Now, if I don't see you two snuggling out here tomorrow, my hands will slap you all so fast you won't see it coming." Logan laughed and stood up.
"I'll see you tomorrow Camille." She watched him with a self-satisfied smile.
It felt good playing Cupid sometimes.
…
Logan walked into the apartment, seeing it was quiet and all was still.
Until a tall figure unfolded from the couch, stumbled over a blanket, and fell flat on his face. Logan had to stifle a laugh as Kendall struggled to get up.
"Where have you been?" he finally asked, making Logan reach for his hand.
"Come with me," is all he said, pulling the tall teen with him out of the apartment once again.
"Where are we going?"
"Shut up," Logan whispered, pulling Kendall with him still. Kendall pouted, but Logan continued on, pulling Kendall out by the pool with him once again. Camille was gone, making the place deserted; Logan was hoping for that. He sat down on one lounge, pushing Kendall into the one next to him. They were silent for a minute, Logan's head tilted up to stare at the faint stars again while Kendall looked around, wondering what they were doing out here.
"I've had a couple of talks since you kissed me," Logan said, making Kendall look at him.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Lucy and Camille."
"And what happened?"
"I've liked…guys before."
"Oh."
"But then, they both graciously pointed out that you're not just a guy."
"I'm not." Logan nodded, eyes still searching the sky. Kendall tilted his head back and smiled when he realized what Logan was doing. "We're watching the stars."
"Just like we used to."
"Why?"
"I wanted our relationship to start with a good memory." Kendall looked at Logan now; even though it was getting dark outside, he still could see the faint flush that covered Logan's cheeks now.
"Relationship?"
"Unless you've changed your mind… then yeah." Kendall grinned and stood up, grabbing Logan's hand and yanking the shorter teen to him. Logan didn't miss the smirk that was on his –he had to think hard for this word – boyfriend's face. "You're way too happy about this."
"I've been conflicted a long time. I'm glad to see it was worth the wait though." Logan's face flushed again while Kendall leaned down, softly pressing his lips to Logan's.
And Logan knew that Kendall was definitely worth the conflicting emotions he had felt.
Just like watching the stars, this was one memory he didn't ever want to forget.
…
Man, this one was a long one-shot!
I know, the ending could've been better, but I kinda hit a wall… Just pretend it was amazingly awesome anyway haha. [Or at least be gentle]
Thanks for reading though! Every read means a lot to me.
-JustMe133