Disclaimer: If Lord of the Flies were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.
Background music: Get Out Alive – Three Days Grace
Augh…horrible, horrible, horrible. If only he was back home, maybe this would stop happening…his mother would be here for him to help him through the faints…his father would take him to the doctor again to see if they could stop these dizzy spells from overtaking him. But he wasn't at home and there wasn't a doctor even remotely close for hundreds of miles probably.
And the only person who had helped him lately was who knows where.
Simon propped himself up slowly, feeling like jelly all over. Hoping to god (although did such a being exist anymore?) that he hadn't broken anything as he fell, his gaze slowly moved up to the demented and rotting pig head on a stick. Like a deformed black lollipop. He didn't care for lollipops, even back home. When the nurse had offered him one, he had refused…like a sweet on a stick was going to make him feel better.
Jerking his head to the side, Simon hoped his overgrown bangs would offer some kind of solace to the swarm of flies attacking the Lord of the Flies. He had ridden a horse once back home. They had gone through a grove and a swarm of flies had attacked them. The horse used its tail to wave them off. Apparently it didn't work with a human.
Blinking his dark eyes, he felt somewhat better. He wanted to puke, personally, but he had to get out first. Get out of this grove, this grove that had been at first a place of peace and comfort, was now filled with the stench of death. Death and fear. Wobbly, he tried to stand and collapsed.
"Ralph…" Simon let the name slide off his tongue. Like Ralph could hear him now. It had been his own choice to separate himself from the boy and Piggy…and now he was paying the price. No one knew where he was and no one was going to help him.
"Ralph…" What was the use? The Lord of the Flies seemed to be asking the question itself, the buzzing of flies its voice, the glittery fly eyes its own, glaring daggers and nausea over the boy. "Ralph…" The blonde's concerned face flashed in his mind, the same as it had been the first time he had fainted in front of the boy.
"Are you okay? You should really sit down…Jack said you fainted a lot before, but now it's unsafe now we're on this island. You gotta take care of yourself."
Feeling a weak spell come upon him again, Simon surrendered and lay there quietly, save the constant low buzz. He was strong enough to keep conscious, but not enough to walk or even crawl. He closed his eyes, pretending he was back in the old grove, the peaceful one, the calm one…
Stop hiding from the truth. No…it was talking to him again. It was just his mind; he had realized that for some time already. All this fear and this 'beast' thing…all in their minds.
No, it's not. The buzz seemed to be taunting him. I'm the Lord of the Flies! I know more than you, you stupid, stupid child. Now go back to where you're supposed to be. Back to Ralph…you'd like that wouldn't you?
Yes…Simon managed a weak smile as his eyes remained closed.
He'll still think you're batty for leaving.
Maybe he was batty. Heck, everyone here was. But he didn't need this pig's head to rub it in. Especially the part before he had fainted…how the thing had said, You don't want Ralph to think you're batty, don't you? You like Ralph a lot, don't you? His face had flushed at the thought.
Yes, he did, actually, and he didn't need a stupid head to tell him. He didn't need himself to tell himself, correction. Simon opened his eyes again and scooted himself closer to the entrance of the grove. The butterflies seemed to have disappeared for the time being, their territory stolen by those dirty flies.
Go back to where you belong, stupid child. Go.
"I'm going," Simon muttered, pulling himself out past the leaves and let himself collapse again with a wall separating him from the pig's head. Thank god…he couldn't stand another second with that disgusting thing.
"Ralph…" Simon pushed himself into sitting position. The sun was starting to set. The others were probably getting ready for night. He had to go back to them as quick as possible before he was missed.
But would he be missed at all?
"Um…I'll go explore the island with Jack…and…" Ralph's eyes had scanned the mob of boys in front of him for a moment before his gaze rested on the dark haired boy, leaning against a tree to keep him steady after his last faint. "And…Simon."
Laughing nervously, Simon had stood up and followed the blonde. He was kidding, right? Someone who fainted all the time was worthless to anything. It was an embarrassment to just collapse even while singing. But apparently Ralph didn't think so. They had explored, only Jack and Ralph breaking the silence. Simon didn't have anything to say…nothing important anyway. Just how the hell are we getting off this place? and why would you pick me when there were a lot more people to choose from? Like maybe Sam or Eric? We're near the same age anyway.
They had reached a small area and some small discovery had been unearthed. Simon didn't really pay attention, really. He was looking around, searching the area for a glimpse of hope that they would somehow be able to get themselves off this place. Without warning, Ralph had tackled onto him, knocking him on the ground, the blonde on top of him, laughing. "Relax," Ralph had whispered, as he got off him to horse around with Jack. "We're going to be fine."
He wasn't even sure which way he was going anymore, he was so disoriented. Was he going back down the mountain, or up? No difference…down, he would obviously heading toward some sort of doom…he had this awful, awful feeling ever since he had regained consciousness. He was dreading going down, but he would have to sometime or another. Upward…the beast was rumored to have lived there. But he was convinced the beast didn't exist…it wasn't anything bad or dangerous, anyway. No one had listened, not even Ralph.
Cursing his own shyness around a crowd, Simon stopped to rest for a while. Introverted…that's what his mother had called him. He had taken this kind of personality test and he was an introvert. Someone who was okay with listening and staying back from the crowd. He had been a bit disappointed when he learned almost everyone else was an extrovert…everyone was outgoing and mouthy and he was just…just batty.
"Don't worry about it, Simon," his mother had said as he had gone to talk to her about it. "Everyone in the world is needed. If everyone talked, nothing would be heard. This world needs listeners like you."
"Would you hand me that leaf over there?" Simon looked up, lost in thought for a while. Ralph gave him an expectant look as Simon scrambled through the sand to get one of those wide leaves that some of the littluns had collected some time earlier. "Sorry," he murmured, handing it to Ralph, who gave him a weird look before trying to tie it in place.
"So, how old are you?" Ralph had said, merely for conversational purposes.
"Eleven…" Simon had said quietly, watching Ralph for a while. "Do you need me to help you there?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, that would be great. These stupid huts are horrible to manage." Ralph smiled at him as he came to help prop up a wall. There was a silence as Ralph tried to make the hut more sturdy. "I'm twelve…turning thirteen real soon. Hopefully after we get off this island."
"Hmm." Probably Ralph was expecting him to say something else because Simon squirmed in discomfort as Ralph seemed to be waiting for a better response.
"You don't speak often do you?"
"I don't like to."
Ralph had stared at him for a while before bursting out in laughter. Simon flushed with embarrassment, but didn't try to say anything to defend himself. Ralph seemed to have been waiting for him to and became quiet as none came. "But that's okay too, I guess. Some people are like that." He nodded knowingly. "I had a feeling I made a right decision to pick you to come along with us at the beginning."
The wind was starting to blow and Simon realized he had almost dozed off. Stupid, stupid! He had to keep awake…he recognized the surroundings around him and knew he had climbed up the mountain instead of down. Darn. Well, as he was up here, he may as well continue looking for this beast thing. He inched himself onto the rocky surface and heard the sound the twins had described…something like a loud whooshing sound. Like torn fabric to him, actually. He crawled forward for a bit and suddenly, he knew he was just in front of the beast.
But the beast had the same demeanor like the pig head…dead. Dead and gone, never to be able to truly terrorize the boys. Breathing a soft sigh of relief, Simon started to examine this…thing. It was a person, probably a man, and he was wrapped in ropes, tied to a parachute that was now useless. The face was empty and its lips were pulled back to reveal white, now decaying, teeth. So this was the scary beastie the twins had talked about. Untangling the ropes, Simon let the dead man flop down instead of swaying back and forth like he had been tied to do.
It was nothing. The fear was all for nothing. More relief flooded him as he realized what this meant. The littluns wouldn't have to worry anymore. The fear that had united some of the older boys would disappear and they would all band together and maybe, just maybe…they would get off this island. He had to get down to the beach…to the others…to Ralph…
"You'll make it out."
Ralph turned. "What, you got a ship in your pocket?"
Simon had smiled, taking his joke lightly. "No, I just know you'll get off this island."
Ralph had stared at him for a while. "You're batty."
No. He hadn't wanted Ralph to think that. Shaking his head indignantly, Simon repeated the same phrase he used whenever someone had accused him of that back home. "I'm not." He stopped for a second, studying Ralph's face. "I just know you'll get off here fine."
The two of them looked at each other, and at the same time, they broke into a smile. Ralph looked cute when he was truly smiling, Simon thought. He smiled back, feeling a small gleam of hope surge through him.
"I like you a lot, Simon."
The smile had faltered.
Ralph's familiar knowing look was enough to tell Simon that his carefully hidden crush wasn't exactly one-sided. Ralph shook his head, however, shaking assurance from Simon. "But I can't do anything about it on his island. But I promise you, when we get back to honest to goodness land, we'll do something about it. Okay? Wait a little longer." Giving him a faint sad smile, Ralph had patted him on the shoulder lightly before walking past him back to the others.
What was the word for it back home? A flood of words filled his mind…gay…queer…homo…fag…but it wasn't exactly that, was it? Yes, he felt a somewhat kind of love for Ralph, but it was more of a comforting feeling, not those sappy stories those girls exchanged at church. It was a beacon of light in this dreary place…his feelings for Ralph had always been confusing and he chose not to dwell on them. But now as he was managing his way through the forest back down, they were becoming crystal clear to him. It was raw care and honest goodness. He had this feeling with everyone who had remotely accepted him back home. So it wasn't awkward love, was it?
They hadn't kissed or had any indication of a relationship. Simon was okay with that…it was how he liked things. He was an introvert, after all. And Ralph…whenever he looked at him, it was never with lust or wanting. Always concern. Always. Simon staggered and fell on something soft…sand…he felt waves of heat and knew there was a fire in front of him. There were shouts…who was shouting? Stop…his head was hurting, it was going to explode of whoever was screaming continued…stop…
"There's…" Simon could hardly get the words out. Figures were forming a U shape, taking him into this cult or something. Painted faces and leers looked back at him. "There's a dead…" He couldn't say it. Maybe it was because he was introvert…he was freezing up…or maybe because he was so tired…
He tried again. "There's a…" The group opened to let him stagger past and without warning, his hand lost contact with solid ground and he tumbled down onto more sand. What was going on? Nothing was making sense…it was dark, but still the fire glowed with an evil light. There was a war cry…sounded a bit like Jack, actually…and suddenly he was under attack.
Crying out as he felt blood come bubbling to the surface, the shock was just enough for Simon to blurt out what he wanted to say. "There's a dead man on the mountain!" he shouted, but this sentence seemed drowned out with the continuing blows. He had no idea who was hitting him, only it felt like everyone had ganged up on him. This had been one of his fears back home, but there was something called society to prevent it from happening. But now, this place was a parallel universe with nothing to protect the different.
Someone was talking something about the beast…he was starting to become numb and wet with something thick all over. Things were starting to blur as he felt a drop from the sky. It was raining, probably…he wasn't even sure now. Things were flowing in and out of focus…thoughts were dropping…couldn't think straight…what…
A scream brought his thoughts into a blurred focus again and he saw something floating toward them…something dark and big. The boys around him screamed and scattered, disappearing into every which direction. Something hit him as Simon recognized the blonde hair hurrying away…for a second, the boy turned and Ralph's dazed expression shot in his direction before turning to run away. Simon couldn't keep his eyes open any longer as he felt sand stick to his open wounds. He was drenched in his own blood…
We're going to have some fun.
Twisted, batty fun, Lord of the Flies. Twisted fun.
Good bye, Ralph.
Note: I'm not really sure if anyone's actually going to read this, but if you do, please review, thank you.