Tittle: Charlie´s letter
Hi this is me again still without a beta so all mistakes are mine, - (need a beta)-
This boys aren´t mine
This is slash and Eppescest so if is not your cup of tea go and find coffee someplace else.
I can see you, you´re giving orders to your people, I just tried to explain what I could find, I just tried to help you because that´s what I do, I help you.
this is part one of the story.
Don was in Charlie´s office reading a letter that was the only thing, Charlie left him.
You smiled at me and I wanted to cry, I'm in loved with you and I know this is beyond impossible you´re not for me, but what can I say? You don´t tell your heart who to loved.
My friends those who are closed to me knows about my feelings for you they try to help me, when you left me they step up and took care of me, when you showed nothing but disdain for me they shelter me.
She knew also, I could see it in her eyes, she understood my feeling I wasn´t ashamed it is unusual but that was me since day one, and I liked to think that she understood that no one could ever be you.
You thought that I was lost but I was there the whole time, I just felt empty, she was gone and I could tell that so were you.
He may love me but understanding wasn´t easy for him, he just I don´t know, don´t blamed him I´m not an easy person I just needed an anchor and couldn´t find one.
She wants to love me but she loves, craves my mind more, she is jealous of it, like it was something I could give her, something that doesn´t belong only to me.
You never knew him, he was my friend, he was more, he was the first person I though could reach you, he made me smile, he made me laugh, I was happy with him, I felt safe, he wasn´t you but he was allowed, he was someone I could love, I was alive for the very first time in a while he was much mine as I was his, but your shadow got in the way, and then his demons too, and we thought we could handle everything because I was close to love him but I was punished because I wasn´t honest and he died taking a huge part of me with him, I was broken, shattered because too late I realized that I love him, that I could be happy with him, he was gone and I couldn´t breathe, and I hated you, because loving you was a curse, I was cursed because I had given my heart to you all those years ago, even when you never knew.
He died not knowing that he was loved, he didn´t know because I couldn´t lie to him, because you were and will always be my love, my beloved one.
I was alone when he help me put a façade "smile and pretend" and I did just that because he help when I fell, he hug me when I couldn´t stop crying when my legs failed me, he was there my trusted friend, my crazy friend, my protector, he help me by being there when the shadows wanted to get me and I was too weak to fight it on my own.
I wasn´t ready to have you in my life but I had to try it, too much hate and resentment lay between us, too much water under the bridge but you don´t know half of it, you don´t know me you didn´t care to know me, I´m not saying this out of anger just a fact, you didn´t care.
My life, my choices surprised you and you questioning me but out of some twisted or I don´t know what sense of anger? I had no reason to trust you, why in the bloody hell would I need to justify my life to you?
But again I was weak and eager and dumb and I just wanted to be closed to you so, I used my head to help you and it worked and you find your bad guy and I knew you would want more and some sick and twisted part of me was thrilled because now you would need me, the tables had been turned and every time something inside of me die a little more because I was allowing you to used me, and when things didn´t turn out the way you wanted and I was able to help you tossed me aside like I was a second thought.
I know that she knows, I have seen her looking at me, she knows and I don´t care I need help I´m drowning, she is special I can tell.
She had seen thing no person should, she had done things that are destroying her, she needs love but you can´t see that either, but he can and he is going to try and fix her, because she is like a glass doll and she is breaking, but he is going to try his damn best.
Him gets under my skin quickly, he can see it too and it doesn´t bother him, he has an air that makes me intrigue, he makes me blush just because he can, he is a predator and I´m his prey? He knows he is not going to win, I love you far too much, I´m far too gone for me, far too damaged for me to feel again for someone else, I see his eyes he is trying to tell me something that I can´t seem to understand.
He takes me with him and I almost see death, it should scared me that for a moment I welcomed? I just wanted all over just wanted to leave you behind for once.
You were angry, you´re always angry, why can´t you loved me?
We keep working and your group accepts me, embraced me but even when I care I no longer have the ability to let anyone inside.
He tells me that I need a clean break, that if I continued doing this is going to kill me and he is like always right, I´m leaving, no more pain, no more you, I need a new start, to kill this, to make it be what it needs to be so I´m leaving, I´m saying good bye, to you, and to this love, to this love that you never knew you have and you never cared enough to find out.
So this my good bye to you Don.
Charles Eppes
This was the letter Don found himself reading over and over until he took off running to Larry´s office.
"Where is he? Where can I find him?"
"You are too late, he already left" was Larry´s short response before closing his office´s door in Don´s face.
He was late, Charlie had left not knowing.
But this wasn´t the end Don promised.
"We are not done Charlie I´m going to find you, I promised"
The end