Impossible

Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.

Elena sank to the floor, dagger in hand, and waited. It felt heavy in her hand and something about it drew her in, making her want to sink it back in Elijah's chest. But she couldn't. Not now. Not when she knew with conviction that Damon would put everyone she loved at risk if it meant saving her life.

"I don't mind being the bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it…but at the end of the day I'll be the one to keep her alive."

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply as she replayed the words Damon told Stefan when he thought she was out of earshot. Elena felt the weight of how impossible Damon truly is. Even armed to the teeth with good intentions, he still managed to turn her world upside down, complicating it to the point that she didn't know which way to go or what to believe. In less than a day, Damon succeeded in annoying her, disarming her, brought her to her knees and then in the final stretch, pulled her out of every darkness she wanted to dissolve into.

But he was right and she counted on that. He will keep her alive, even when she didn't want to be saved. He would do anything to protect her, even if it meant pushing the limits of whatever it was they had. With Damon, there was no right or wrong but just the question of the lengths he would go to in order to protect her.

Elena focused on her breathing, letting everything fall away but the feel of the cold metal in her hand. She should hate him for what he put her through, even if it did help their ultimate agenda. The slap she dealt him was much deserved, for breaking her in ways she never thought she could be hurt and promising that he would sacrifice so much more of her heart if it meant she lived.

A dry sob escaped her again, the raw pain of earlier events coming back to her as an image of Bonnie lying lifeless on the ground echoed in her mind. Her free hand flew to her mouth instinctively as she fought to keep silent, willing away the nightmare. But it wouldn't go away and it morphed into a more terrifying image, one that propelled her to even go down to the basement in the first place—Damon, lying in a pool of his own blood, his blue eyes frozen in an empty and wild eyed stare with nothing but death in them.

Elena clutched the dagger to her chest as she heaved shallow breaths, blinking hard to wash away the scene from her mind. But even as the image died away, the fear that came with it only intensified, consuming her until she had nothing to hold on to but the moment that drover her to bring back Elijah to life.

"Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you."

"I will always choose you."

The last phrase resonated in Elena, filling her with equal parts warmth, fear and anxiety. Elena knew Damon well enough that she believed without question that he would live by what he said. He would throw everyone in Mystic Falls in Klaus' path if it meant that it bought Elena even just a second longer to make a run for it. It was another reminder that without a doubt, she understood that he would save her…or die trying. He will choose his own death over letting her die.

Elena clenched her jaw, her entire body tense as she let the words ripple through her once again; reminding her that bringing back Elijah was necessary to avoid that. Drastic and possibly reckless, it was the only thing she could think of as she left Damon's room. Elena stopped caring and did what she had to do because she had a secret of her own, a truth as powerful as Damon's admission.

"I will always choose him," Elena whispered in her mind, her hand making a fist over her heart in an unbidden gesture.

Elena knew that was her reality as the words settled in her mind but she would not go farther than that. She left it as an inexplicable fact and she didn't want to pluck them out of the maelstrom reasons that swirled in her thoughts. Attempting to understand her reasons for countless times that she chose not to walk away from him were better left unsaid. The explanation for why the unforgivable became forgotten and only trust remained will best be kept as part of the dreams she forgets when she wakes up. The rationale for why she needed him around and why she always believed he could be a better man is something only she can whisper in her sleep.

Elena can only admit to wanting to save him above all others but she wasn't ready to face why his death scared her more than her own. She closed her eyes and with that she lay the dagger on the ground, knowing she would do anything to keep him as he his—dripping with sarcasm, dangerous, confusing, disarming, and most importantly, alive.

"I will always choose you."

His words made her ache, the weight of it settling fully on her shoulders, forcing her to understand what he couldn't tell her outright.

"I love you, Elena."

Elena gasped and blinked rapidly even if she heard it only in her mind, imagining exactly how casually he would say it as if it were gospel truth. Tears filled her eyes again as she fought the desire to actually hear him say it, to see his eyes when he expressed that and for any distance between them to disappear. The image was so painfully clear in her mind, almost like a memory, that it made her wish it were real, everyone else be damned. If only she could manage to say something stronger, closer to the truth, but for fear of hurting someone, she only managed a veiled apology about hitting him.

"I trust you with my life and my heart, even if I can't give it to you. I shouldn't choose you but I always will. I can't love you but I do. And it will never change."

Elena stared as the color began to return to Elijah's face finally feeling the onset of hesitation as she wondered if this is the right thing to do. She shook the doubt away, knowing there is no turning back if she wanted to make sure Damon never had to make the choice between her and whatever stood in the way of her safety. Elena knew she was saving him, though he would and should never know that.

Elijah's eyes flew open and before Elena could react; his hands were at her throat cutting off her air supply.

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now, doppelganger?" Elijah said with a tenuous calm.

"Because," Elena rasped out painfully, "we want the same thing—Klaus dead. He's here in Mystic Falls and I need your help to kill him."

"The price is still the same, Elena," Elijah whispered close to her ear, "Your life."

"And you protect everyone I love?" Elena said

Elijah released her and took a step back, eyeing her as she struggled to stand up straight, the ghost of a smile fixing itself on his lips, "How will I know who to protect when you don't even know who you love, Elena?"

"What are you saying?" Elena asked even if she understood Elijah fully.

Elijah merely gave her a pointed look and shrugged. He regarded her with his eyes full of malice, "I do not have the resources to waste on the safety of those around you if Klaus is already here. And considering how easily you can betray me, I simply do not want to. But I do need you so I'm offering you another deal—pick one person to keep safe and that is it."

"What do you mean?" Elena said fear pounding away in her chest.

"You know what I mean, Elena," Elijah said, "Think about it. You have a day to decide. I'll be in touch."

Before she could react, Elijah was already out the room. And as she stared at the dagger on the floor, the only evidence left that he was ever there, Elena thought of the question that still hung in the air and the answer she could not bring herself to speak.

"I choose Damon."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. Still thinking if I should leave this as it is or continue it. What do you think? :)