Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books do not belong to me. If they did then they would be full of spelling and grammar mistakes, with random lines like 'cleans' (sorry old joke) written inside them.

Author's Note

This is a one-shot chapter that I wrote as a competition entry in August of 2005 on I got one vote, but that was only because I voted for myself! Hahaha! It's not very good, although my writing has improved (from all them essays they make us write at school). It has been edited so that the spelling and grammar is like five times better (from the original entry) and some of it does seem quite childish of the two characters, but I just wanted to show them chilled out.

A lot of credit goes to my new BETA reader, who did most of the editing! Thanks Tinder!

Setting: Harry goes to meet Sirius after the first task. It's just a random meeting they may have had one day and it is written in canon. I know it sounds like I'm warning you off reading this but it is quite inexperienced because I think it was one of my first pieces of writing.

Questions and Answers

Today had to be one of the coldest days of the year; everybody was huddling inside their common rooms, wrapped in thick woollen jumpers.

The only student daring to breathe in the cold, heavy air was Harry Potter.

Buckbeak gave a loud snore from the far corner of the owlery and some of the owls in front of the hippogriff were blown away. Outside, it was as still as a muggle photo and the frost was now getting to both Harry and Sirius, who were sitting paralyzed with cold in the middle of the owlery.

Then, suddenly Sirius asked, "Harry, what fruit are you?"
"Excuse me?" Harry asked Sirius, rather worried about his godfather, "Sirius, I think you've been in your Animagus form far too long. It's making you go loony!"
"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that these Muggles who were giving me dinner a few days ago were talking about what fruit they were, and well you know how curious I get."
Harry grinned and thought for a while.
"Well, I've never really thought about it. I mean, no one's ever asked me that before… I think maybe an apple or a tomato." Harry replied.
"A tomato is not a fruit, it's a vegetable." Sirius declared.
"I think you should have taken Herbology, Snuffles, because tomatoes have seeds." Harry said rather amused.
Sirius looked at his Godson and realised that Harry was probably right.
"I'm right," Sirius slipped into the conversation. "I escaped from Azkaban."
"What about you?" Harry asked, liking this new question game, which had distracted them both, from the freezing cold conditions.
"I think I'm a potato." Sirius replied. "I can come in different forms. My dog form being my pride."

"I thought you were clever at school! A potato is a vegetable!" Harry exclaimed.
"Hey, you said tomato. I mean what is that?" Sirius argued, then attempting to change the subject he said, "If you could go back in time, how would you go defeating that dragon?"
"No idea," Harry answered truthfully. "Maybe I could have sung to it or something!"
"Now that would certainly harm the poor things ears!" Sirius replied.
"Hey! I can sing fine! What I meant was that if I did do that, then maybe it would have fallen asleep with some music," Harry responded.
"It's not Fluffy! Unless you'll bore it to sleep."
"But, I could do that on Lord Voldemort! Next time we… erm… acquaint," Harry answered, as his face turned serious.

"More like next time you kick his rear end!" Sirius joked, cheering Harry up.
"Yeah! I could perform the Imperius curse on that ugly beast." Harry squirmed.
"What, the dragon?" Sirius asked.
"No, old Voldy-poo," Harry confirmed, then both of them laughed out loud, scaring a brownish grey owl.

"Harry, I know we shouldn't be joking about the unforgivable curses, but what would you make old Voldy-poo do, if you had the chance?" Sirius questioned.
"I think I would make him sing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb', then beg for forgiveness and run around with a badge that says 'POTTER RULES! I STINK LIKE OWL POOP'. Then I'd kill him," Harry replied. "Hey give me that!"

An owl had snatched Sirius' food, and Harry got up and pounced on the owl. Finally, he got back up and handed Sirius the food.

"You know how I'd kill him?" Harry asked Sirius rhetorically. "I would tie him up and lock him in a room with professor Trelawney, who would go on about how he would die."
"Alternatively, we could just feed him one of Hagrid's rock cakes," Sirius said, trying to bite into one of the rock cakes Harry had snuck out.
"And you're a better cook, I'm assuming, Mr. Potato head?" Harry exclaimed sarcastically. "But forget about fruit, what spell do you think you would be?" Harry asked curiously going back to the first game they had played.
"Hmm… not sure… yum this food is good!" Sirius said, munching on a pumpkin pasty. "I think both me and your father would probably be the dissendium spell. You?"

"You know something, Sirius……I actually have no idea," Harry replied, really thinking. "But I do know that the next time I face a Boggart it will probably be disguised as owl poop. I mean this stuff gets everywhere and it stinks!" Harry screeched, now with owl droppings all over the red jumper he was wearing.
"That's not owl droppings. It's a bit of chocolate!" Sirius said and before Harry could say anything, Sirius leaned over, picked a bit of the brown substance off of Harry's jumper and popped it into his own mouth.

Sirius' expression changed from a rather smug and confident face to an 'I'm going to throw up all over you, Harry, if you don't move quick' face.

"Sirius, that is sick!" Harry laughed. "Now at least I know that you'll see owl poop too, next time you face a Boggart! Although, I think if you were a spell you would be 'accio brain'."
"Hey. I escaped from Azka-." Sirius reassured Harry, before being cut off.

"Yeah, well I'm the Boy-Who-Lived!" Harry replied, "and don't say you escaped from Azkaban again or I'll put more owl poop in your mouth!"
Harry looked at Buckbeak who had accidentally swallowed an owl while sleeping.
"Not to be a party pooper or anything but-" Sirius paused, and Harry burst out laughing again.
"Party 'pooper'… hahahaha." Harry laughed.

"Yes, well Harry, Filch is heading this way so we'd better be off. Remember to keep in contact and update me on the next task," Sirius said and walked towards Buckbeak, who had been woken up by Harry's laugh. Sirius and Buckbeak strode outside into the freezing cold, and just before transforming into his Animagus form, Sirius Black looked back and assured his godson:

"Remember, Harry, whatever happens - if fate parts us, if something happens to me… always remember that Snape will always be a greasy git!"

Author's Notes: If this fanfiction puts a tiny smile on your face, then my work here is done. If not and you' think I'm crazy, then I'm still happy!

Smile- Sirius would have wanted us to! Hahaha. (Hey, I'm an Immy member)