When it happened, Gabriel was curled up on his sofa next to Sam watching cheesy horror movies.
They were laughing at the obviously fake blood spatters when the phone rang. Gabriel excused himself, still chuckling, and strode into the kitchen with a wink at Sam over his shoulder. Sam smiled before turning back to the movie. He heard Gabriel answer with a cheeky "hello" before going silent, and staying silent for a while. So long, in fact, that Sam was starting to worry.
His worries weren't soothed in the slightest when he heard Gabriel speak again.
"Yes. Yeah, I understand. I'm okay, really. I promise. Yeah, I'll see you then." Gabriel sounds more serious than he'd ever heard from him. Sam didn't know what to expect when Gabriel walked out, smiling slightly like nothing was wrong with the world. He eyed the shorter man warily as he walked back to the couch, keeping distance between himself and Sam as he sat down.
"Heya, kiddo, ready to get back to the movie?" If he were anyone else, Gabriel's false contentedness may have fooled him. But, as it were, he was not anyone else, and he knew Gabriel better than Gabriel probably knew himself. So, in response, Sam paused the movie before turning to face the man in question.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked quietly.
Gabriel shifted a bit, uncomfortable, and didn't look Sam in the eye as he answered. "Nothing, really. Just a phone call from old Balthy, checking up on me. The usual."
"Old Balthy" simply calling to check up on Gabriel was not, however, usual in any way, shape, or form. Balthazar only called when necessary- so, when someone has a birthday coming up, or they're either sick or dead. Sam quickly scratched off birthday, Gabriel wouldn't be acting like this if that was the case.
That left sickness or death; both laid a heavy weight upon Sam's chest. "Gabriel, who is it? What happened?"
Gabriel stayed quiet for a long while, long enough to make Sam worry that he offended him in some way. When Gabriel drew in a breath to answer, Sam steeled himself for the worst.
"It's Michael. He's dead. Lucifer too." Gabriel said all this with an air of indifference, and Sam waited for him to explain. When it became clear that he wasn't planning on it, Sam mustered up the courage to ask.
"How? Do they know?" Sam spoke softly, worried that if he raised his voice Gabriel would run away and never talk about what happened.
He was always running away from his problems. He never had anyone who cared before Sam came along, never had anyone notice him and really ask what was wrong. Being a janitor doesn't exactly help you make an image for yourself, make people notice you.
Sam thought back to when they met; Sam's department was relocated to the building Gabriel was in charge of cleaning, and Sam, ever the over-achiever, took to staying in the office as long as it took to finish the days' work. One night, around 6:30, Gabriel walked into Sam's office, intending to tidy it up, and froze when he noticed Sam was still there. The conversation was a bit stinted at first, Sam being the awkward lawyer and Gabriel being the enthusiastic janitor, but Gabriel just kept coming back to Sam's office at 6:30 every night, and Sam made sure to stay that late each time, even if he didn't have any work to do. It took weeks for Sam to finally ask Gabriel out for drinks, and Gabriel enthusiastically responded by pushing Sam into the nearest wall and kissing him senseless. Sam took that as a yes, and Gabriel's presence gradually became a solid in Sam's life.
Little by little, Sam learned about Gabriel's life through bits and pieces the older man decided to share. Gabriel wasn't one to talk about his feelings or his problems- he was like Dean in that respect- so Sam was forced to garner information slowly. But he eventually managed to learn a few things, such as the fact that Gabriel's brothers, Michael and Lucifer, were like fathers to Gabriel. His father left soon after he was born, so his brothers raised him until he was old enough to go to college. While he was away at college, Lucifer was sent to jail, and Michael was left to pay for the house on his own, having to get three jobs just to pay the bills. They both became increasingly distant, and when Gabriel came back from college one summer, he realized just how much they had changed.
By this time, Lucifer had been released from jail. Michael was still bitter about being left alone, and Gabriel was subjected to constant fighting and verbal abuse. He put up with it for as long as he could, they were family after all, but after years of non-stop anger and no one to talk to, Gabriel fled to janitorial duties. He never went back to college, feeling responsible for keeping the peace between his family, so he never got a formal education, and being a janitor was the only thing he could think of that he was qualified for.
Solitariness was familiar; it was all Gabriel had during those long years with his brothers. There was a sort of safety in withdrawal. If no one knew, no one could use it against him, no one could hurt him. Sam spent a long time trying to get Gabriel to open up to him, but it still took months before Gabriel could completely trust him. It was a sign of fierce love and confidence that Gabriel let Sam in on what happened.
"It was a car crash. Michael was driving, Lucifer was riding shotgun. They ran a red light and drove straight into an eighteen-wheeler. The truck driver said that neither of them were looking at the road, and they looked like they were in an argument. Fighting, they were always fighting. And that fighting got them killed." Gabriel's voice shook, almost imperceptibly, as he finished. Sam's heart broke.
"Are you okay?"
Gabriel adopted a smirk, though it lacked its usual amusement. "I'm fine, Sasquatch. I said my good-byes to them a while back."
Sam wasn't fooled for a moment. He raised his hand and gently cupped Gabriel's face with it. Gabriel closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, but didn't say more.
When Sam moved closer to cradle Gabriel closer to his chest, it was if he broke the proverbial dam inside of the man. Gabriel clutched at Sam's arms, letting out a broken sob and burying his face into Sam's shoulder. Sam simply wrapped his arms around the smaller man, placing gentle kisses to the top of his head and murmuring soft words of love and comfort into his ear.
It took a long time to get Gabriel to stop sobbing, and they were both quickly becoming sore from sitting in the same position for so long. Sam gently eased Gabriel to his feet and led him to his bedroom. He made quick work of stripping them down to their boxers, laying them both down on Gabriel's large, king sized bed. Sam pulled Gabriel closer to him until his smaller frame was encased in a warm cocoon of long, warm limbs. He tucked Gabriel's head underneath his chin and let him take comfort in the soft, steady rhythm that was Sam's beating heart.
Sam held Gabriel as he shook, as he cried, all the while reassuring him that he would never leave, he would never stop loving him. Eventually, Gabriel's breathing grew steadier, and his heart slowed to beat along with the rhythm Sam's heart was setting. He dislodged his head from its place under Sam's chin in favor of looking up into eyes full of the now familiar warmth and security. He brought their lips together, slow and sweet, expressing his thankfulness and wonder at having such a perfect being to himself. They fell asleep tangled in each other, lost to anything that wasn't the beating of their hearts and the breaths they shared. They would eventually have to face the world, but for right now, they were content in basking in the love that the other offered.