See, this is what happens when I'm half-asleep and suddenly get a plot bunny that MUST BE WRITTEN NAOW PLZ. I write crack. That's somehow serious and totally silly/stupid/cheesy at the same time. And no, this probably will not make any sense to me when I'm actually awake, therefore it probably won't make much sense to you peepz either. Excuse me while I go take a really long nap.

Disclaimer: Don't own. TFs belong to HasTak, main song is by 30 Seconds to Mars, it's called "The Fantasy". I'm so uncreative with titles, aren't I?

With the lights out it's a little less dangerous
Even with a stranger,
Never gets painless
Don't be afraid...
Every time I think I'm gonna change it,
It's driving me insane...

-x-X-x-

When he shuttered his optics, he saw him.

When he thought too much about Cybertron-before-the-war, he saw him.

When the lights were dimmed so that the reflections of his own armor appeared hazy and almost shapeless, he saw him.

It was a sort of unalterable fact in his life. He'd grown used to it over time, the hallucinations. Ratchet always told him to ignore them; but Ratchet hadn't lost a lover to the war, had he? Sometimes he'd considered ignoring the very real looking (and sounding, and feeling) sensor ghost. But that never happened, because he could never resist his lover, could never refuse him. Even if it was just a delusion brought on by his muddled mind. So he talked. And talked. To himself, it seemed to other bots, and he'd been reluctantly escorted to the medbay more than once because of this. Eventually, Ratchet had gotten annoyed enough by the pointless visitations that he'd told all the new bots on base to ignore the small bot that talked to himself. But he didn't mind.

He had all the company he needed, after all, in his own mind.

-x-X-x-

Do you live,
Do you die,
Do you bleed,
For the fantasy
In your mind
Through your eyes,
Do you see,
It's the fantasy...

-x-X-x-

Bumblebee was not overly surprised when his little human friend asked them what they were fighting for. He was, however, surprised that he realized his own answer faster than even Optimus.

"Freedom," the leader said.

"Peace..." Ratchet said only a moment later.

Ironhide took a few more seconds. "Justice," he eventually rumbled.

The human looked up at Bumblebee, wondering why he hadn't even offered a radio-speak version of his answer. "What about you, Bee?"

Bumblebee hesitated. Sam would not take his answer well. Or Ironhide or maybe even Prime. Ratchet already knew, so that was a moot point. "...You really wish to know?"

Sam nodded, and then quickly added, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay too..."

It took only a split second for Bumblebee to decide; Ironhide's wrath, or Sam's fear, or Prime's disappointment was a small price to pay for the truth.

"I fight for Barricade."

-x-X-x-

Maybe tonight we can forget about it all
It could be just like heaven...
I am a machine,
No longer living, just a shell of what I dreamed...

-x-X-x-

Bumblebee did not recognize the Decepticon that attacked him as he defended the young humans. His Spark-signal, usually the only surefire way of identifying a bot, was heavily masked. But that made sense, because Bumblebee's own was masked too.

Not that it really mattered, anyways, Bumblebee idly mused as he was tackled at almost 70 miles per hour. Because now in the war names didn't matter. Just factions and rank and function and not the bot behind all that. But maybe, if all of them just unmasked themselves, and ignored rank and function and faction for a little while, maybe...

Maybe.

Bumblebee's thoughts returned to the here and the now, and he winced as his internal wiring was jarred by a hard landing. Time to end this - and suddenly he didn't have the upper hand anymore, because he was pinned to the ground by the black-and-white mech above him in a grip that was oddly -

Familiar?

And suddenly, suddenly the hallucinations were real, or they seemed to be real, because there had never been a fight before one of their meetings in his mind, and there was something else, a feeling that this was not just his wistful imagination...

"...Goldbug?"

And there was silence.

"...Bumblebee?"

Bumblebee unmasked his Spark-signal, almost on instinct, or it would have been if he'd had any, and above him Goldbug - or was it not-Goldbug now? - did the same and they both felt the vorns of separation disappear and now it was no longer a fight to the death, or even a fight...

Mental walls fell as their owners freely - gladly - dropped them. Minds intertwined, simply reveling in the other's presence before diving deeper, trying to make two halves one again...

-x-X-x-

Do you live,
Do you die,
Do you bleed,
For the fantasy
In your mind
Through your eyes,
Do you see,
It's the fantasy...

-x-X-x-

"No, Bumblebee," not-Goldbug pulled out before the merging could complete, prompting a part frustrated, part deploring groan from Bumblebee. "I can't. I'm sorry."

The yellow mech tried to use his vocalizer again; but all it did was send him into spasms. He impatiently searched the radio waves for something of use but not-Goldbug understood the question before he could voice it.

"It will kill me. And you. I..." and not-Goldbug stood up, suddenly, activating his weaponry though not raising it.

A questioning noise.

"It's... difficult to explain. Some kind of Decepticon program. I don't know anything about it, but..."

-Doctor, doctor, give me the news...if you run with me, will you run with me?...-

"Too late for that, Bumblebee. It's part of me now. Likely forever..."

-I don't wanna be lonely no more...how do I let go of a love that meant so much to me?-

"When the war ends... if the war ever ends... I promise I'll come."

Bumblebee nodded, slowly; and after several long moments he activated his own weaponry.-...Sweet little bumblebee...Who are you, who who, who who? C'mon tell me... and 100 percent reason to remember the name...-

Not-Goldbug nodded slightly in understanding, and replied, "My name is Barricade."

And they both attacked.

-x-X-x-

Say it, say it, say what you believe
Say it, say it to me...

-x-X-x-

There was complete and utter silence; one could have heard a pin drop. As it was, only the wind and the minute automatic shifting of the gears in the mechs' bodies could be heard.

"You - you what?" Sam eventually asked, wide-eyed.

Bumblebee looked out across the Californian landscape, watching the blazing sunset and seeing Goldbug-Barricade's face in the beautiful and life-giving - yet potentially destructive - sphere. "I fight for who he once was... for my Goldbug. I guess - you could say I fight for the fantasy..."

-x-X-x-

Do you live, do you die, do you bleed
For the fantasy
Automatic, I imagine, I believe...

Other Songs, in order of appearance:
"Bad Case of Loving You"; Robert Palmer
"Stay With You"; Goo Goo Dolls
"Lonely No More"; Rob Thomas
"Road to Recovery"; Rufio
"Bumblebee"; Bambee (from DDR)
"Who Are You"; The Who
"Remember the Name"; Fort Minor