It is days like this that find myself staring at her. I find myself wondering how I have been this blessed. She often sits on the porch in the evenings. She enjoys twilight as much as I do. I remember talking to her about it all those years ago. Telling her how it was such a magical time. We never knew then that she would understand it someday.
I chuckle to myself. Well maybe SHE knew.
"What are you laughing at Edward Cullen?" She smiles slowly. The smile stretches across her granite features and I find myself missing the brown orbs that once were in the place of these dazzling topaz eyes she now has.
"Just how much I love you, Mrs. Cullen." I say lovingly as I place my cold lips to her forehead.
"Has Jacob and Ness gone home for the evening?" I ask as she places her head to my chest, and I lay my chin atop of mass of chocolate waves.
"Yes." I hear a note of sorrow in her voice.
I pull back from her and use my slender finger to pull her chin up.
"What troubles you, my love."
She takes a deep breath and looks away for a moment. "Nessie is still hurting. She just…she wants a baby so badly Edward. And now, after all these decades...she has finally given up hope. I just…" Bella pulls herself from my arms and sits on the swing at the end of the porch.
"I feel responsible. I asked for this life. This was all I wanted, but yet, I still got the chance to be a mother too. I made the choice for her. She never stood a chance with the life she was born into. "
I could see the guilt swimming in Bella's eyes and I seated myself beside her, pulling her into my arms.
"Bella darling, you could never deny her anything her entire life. Is that why? Guilt?" I stroked her beautiful face with my hand and she moaned. I smiled lovingly at her response to me.
"I suppose. I have just always wondered…what amazing things she might have been able to have if she were just normal?"
"Normal?" A soft chiming voice sounded across the porch.
We both looked up to see our beautiful daughter standing there. As she has grown older, she has become a beauty unlike any other. On a few occasions, I have even heard the jealous thoughts that race through Rose's mind.
She walked to us and I stood and gathered her in my arms.
"My sweet, I thought you had gone home with your husband?" I kissed the top of her head and she pulled back up to smile at me.
"I did, but I forgot my coat." She glanced down at her mother and then back at me.
"Daddy, could you give me and momma a moment, please?"
Much like Bella, I could never deny our daughter anything.
"Yes. I will go inside and speak with Esme. I believe she wanted to ask me about Rose and Emmett's wedding anyway." I drop my arms from the embrace I was holding my daughter in and I squeeze her hand before giving Bella a loving -if not lust filled look. I could never have enough of that woman.
I did not have to see what my vampire gifts would tell me anyway. I walked into the house and settled myself beside the window.
"Is that what you think momma? That's I'm unhappy? That I'm not normal?" Renesseme had settled beside her mother and pulled her hands into her lap. Seeing them sit there, my long dead heart would have skipped a beat. They looked so beautiful, so much like each other.
"I just can't help but wonder what if…"
"What if nothing, Mother." Nessie cut her off.
"There could be so many what if's in life. What if you had never met Daddy? What if you had never moved to Forks? Or if Pa Phil hadn't gotten that job? We can't live our lives wondering. Some of my fondest memories are full of people that could have never existed if not for the what ifs. Momma, I am so happy. I promise."
Bella smiled a hard smile and closed her eyes tight.
"But you want to be a mother so badly."
Nessie smiled. "Yes, I did. But more than that, I want Jacob. If my venom and his blood can't mix and make a baby, then so be it. I wouldn't trade anything for him…or you and daddy."
Ness pulled Bella into a hug and Bella held on for dear life.
"You are an amazing daughter, you know that?" Bella whispered in Nessie's ear.
"I learned it from the most amazing mother in the world." The held on to each other for a moment.
"You did pretty well too, Daddy." I was surprised to hear my name for a moment.
"Oh come out, I know you're listening, Edward." Bella's beautiful voice called to me.
I chuckled and walked out, pulling the two women who comprised my world into a tight embrace.
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Later that night, as I held a naked Bella's body close to my own, I stroked her hair and placed loving kisses along her collarbone. The giggled that escaped her beautiful throat caused a contented sigh to leave my chest.
"I don't know how I ever managed to live without you." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A fact.
"It's because you didn't know I existed." She smiled broadly and I pulled her to me.
"You are the best part of me Bella. The only thing I like about me."
She smiled at me and lowered her lips onto mine.
"I hope you know, without you, there is no me." I pulled her to me and we enjoyed each other. I love her and she loves me. And after all these years, here I am, still tangled up in my Bella.