Dead Space?

This is a work of Fan fiction. All of the original characters, organizations, techniques, summon animals and events portrayed in this fictional literature are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Though the majority of the events and most characters take place in and are a part of Marvel universe, and of Bioware's Mass Effect.

Normal speech: I hate paperwork. I bet Thanos is giving me more on purpose.

Flashback Begins: ***

Flashback Ends:

Scroll/Book/Author notes/Event/ Titles: Priority: Omega

Demon/Summon or Fusion speech: Finally, I, Deadpool am free. In your face Illusive Man!

Human Thinking: 'Oh, Shit.'

Demon/Summon or Fusion Thinking: 'Oh, Shit is right! You are royally screwed bitch!'

Jutsu/Techniques/Spells: Hadoken

Song start-} {

Song ends-} {

Chapter 1: Run Potato Run!

'Here I am and there you are…shh trying to focus on playing Evil Defenders here. God damn Oasis level.' A one, Wade Wilson dressed in his red-black costume, his Adamantium Katanas sheathed on his back. His Pistols holstered and himself hunched over in a darkened corner of the alien ship he was hiding in. Pale light flowed over him as he held his IPad and played his game his focus completely on the screen before him.

He began to hum a tune when he felt a tremor ripple through the ship.

It was getting closer fast, so he got up and cartwheeled a few meters and stashed his IPad away. He rubbed his masked chin and wondered "I'll plant an IED right... here... *dig dig*"

He used his Katanas to cut an opening onto the floor and upturned his magic satchel of unlimited weaponry… 'Yes it's really named that and no I will not call it MSUW…Acronyms are just as bad as cows…evil shits…'

His satchel dropping a bunch of claymore mines into said hole which he proceeded to cover with a mere cloth. He grinned and ran around the corner just as his pursuer charged through his foot sinking into the hole "WILSON!"

Deadpool whistled "My names Deadpool beatch!"

*BOOM* the explosion threw his pursuer into the air and while he was unfazed or unharmed he gave Deadpool the time he needed to…play Angry Birds… 'Why did you stop your narrating so suddenly? You are sitting on your bed, your laptop on your belly at five thirty in the morning and you deadpan at me for getting a three star in Angry Birds? You got one job! Spell out my actions, motivations and thoughts to those who read this…whoever would even read it so get on with it.'

Suddenly an alien soldier who looked strikingly identical to an earth cow armed with a glowing axe which reminded Deadpool of Carbonadium. "Now you are just being mean…"

He shuddered at the thought of fighting this dead eyed alien but he rolled his shoulders and readied his blades "Pistols are too impersonal for you my pretty little freak of nature! Time for some prime beef cuts!"

And he was off charging at the bovine alien and just as he got close enough to slash at it the wall behind the creature dropped on its head splattering it. Deadpool merely stood frozen as the wall nearly flattened him as well and the fact that his pursuer stood towering over him.

The purple skinned alien, 'Who I will forever name barney the purple dinosaur.' With a corrugated chin and dressed in purple and gold, his bejeweled golden glove glowing with power as he growled at Wade Wilson, "Wilson, I am going to eradicate you. I am going to do the universe an immense favor and rid you from it completely, do you want to know how? I'm going to use the reality gem and erase your very existence so farewell and…"

"Remember to always travel with Thanos Air? Remember to tip Korath on the way out? Bring back Gamora home before 11'Oclock? Marry Nebula? Marry Nebula and Gamora? Teach Ronan the Accuser how to come out of the closet with his sexuality?"

The great Thanos stared at the red/black garbed insane merc and sighed, simply stating "Die."

He pointed the Infinity Gauntlet at Deadpool and a beam of white energy lanced out, Wade barely dodged it and began to run as fast as his legs would allow him to…which was pretty fast and he did while loudly proclaiming "Run Potato Run! Heh chapter reference…"

"Whoa, Missed, Missed again, Missed once more" As he kept dodging the blasts from Thanos, Deadpool slipped into saying missed in various languages which only served to anger Thanos even further.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Thanos waved his hands together causing the ship interior to follow his movements and the two opposing sections of the walls closed in as a wall rose in Deadpool's path stopping him.

And Thanos fired a beam of white energy powered by the reality gem with the intent of getting rid of Deadpool, in that scant few seconds Deadpool, Wade Wilson did the only thing he could…he straightened up and somehow got a white cloth over his eyes acting as if he were before a firing squad and then flipped the switch for his teleportation device in his belt buckle.

The moment he did so coincided with the beam of energy connecting with him and in that mere instant, Thanos had done what numerous beings who had the misfortune of knowing Deadpool all dreamed of…

He had gotten rid of the merc with a mouth though not in the bloody messy way everyone intended which included a pine box and chain and a dip into lava.

The Merc was still alive but not here…

'Here' being the big point.

.

.

Somewhere in space, on an asteroid station called Omega. Omega has been a haven for criminals, terrorists, and malcontents for thousands of years.

And now in a flash of light in a darkened alley it plays host to the cream of the crop malcontent.

Deadpool his voice weak from the exertion squeaked out "Who…you…calling…a…malcontent…I'm…full…of…content…"

But he would have to catch his breath soon as he attracted the attention of a couple of mercenaries who decided to take advantage of whoever was foolish enough to dump himself in the alley after getting drunk.

Deadpool used the wall to support himself and pulled out his pistol, leveling it at the four aliens before him… 'Wait one's human, carry on.'

"Well, look at this boys. Some guy in a clown suit." The lead gunman shot a look at Deadpool's pistol "And he has a toy gun with him too. What you do build that yourself or steal it from some museum?"

In response Deadpool shot him in his head or would've if the bullet didn't just deflect off a shimmering blue energy that enveloped the man, he didn't pause in his laughter. The dim light showing them garbed in some sort of blue colored armor, Deadpool cringed as they leveled their guns at him so he played his card.

"One chance, I'll give you guys one chance."

They just laughed harder, one of them a four eyed alien said "He must've had too much Hallex!"

The lead man said "All you have are a couple of swords and knives and some museum relics, we have the real guns…"

Deadpool interrupted him grinning "No! What you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing because if I am you all will be dead before you've reloaded."

"Ok let's call your bluff, buddy." The mouthy leader of the four high-tech muggers leveled his gun right at Deadpool, his comrades doing the same and before he pulled the trigger he asked "Any last words, clown."

"Make my day, cocksucker."

And with that they began unloading their guns on him, the high-speed bullets ripping right through the unarmored and unshielded red and black clad insane merc and after the first few rounds the muggers looked surprised as the damage was being done yet the man was still on his feet, some paused in their firing only to continue unloading their entire clip.

And at the sound of ejecting thermal clips and hunched over Deadpool smiled and in one instant began to move forward unsheathing his Katanas "My turn, little bitches!"

In one move he swung his blades right through one of the cutting through their shields and armor, the Adamantium blades interestingly disrupting the shield energy enough that to it the shield are nonexistent, 'Really? Sweet…'

He bifurcated one, his blade pierced right through the chest of another as he was reaching for a spare clip ending him instantly. He beheaded the leader of the group of four and the four eyed alien had just finished reloading his gun only for Deadpool to be on him instantly and cut of his hand, the alien in a cry of pain clutched his bleeding stump and stumbled backwards "Ahh! What the hell are you?!"

Deadpool kneeled down to the bleeding alien's eye level and smiled benevolently "I'm Deadpool."

And stabbed him through the chest… 'What?! I was moving the plot along. Don't give me that look, what was I gonna do let the guy live so that he spreads my name? Ha he'd probably come back with revenge with a capital R on his mind. I ain't no hero remember? So you gonna move it along or what?'

Deadpool began stripping the would be muggers of anything useful especially their weapons, armor and various other tech that he didn't recognize for now and he decided to fiddle with a blinking datapad presumably of the group's leader and once he was able to open it he read the messages nothing much important but a lot of numbers which he thought are probably containers for supplies, weapons and cash. 'Sweet, thank you for setting me up man. I'll tone down on harping on your case for a bit, K?'

But one message interested him the most, it was a hit that was gonna go down tonight on someone named Aria in a bar called Afterlife… 'Mmm snazzy name, can't ever forget it.'

And Deadpool seemed to get a sudden urging to go and save this damsel in distress, 'I ain't no hero, buddy. Chicka got a crosshair on her head ain't my prob.' Then Deadpool suddenly thought he was in an alien world with no clue where the hell he was so maybe helping someone would be a good way to get some info in the process and who knows it was a chick he might get something else as well…

Deadpool straightened up, his hands gripping the pistols he took off the dead gunmen and with a focused look he stated out loud "Where is this fair maiden! Her knight in shining black and red spandex is coming to her rescue and then pillage her depths with his massive blade…"

Deadpool was suddenly given a strong feeling that he should tone it down a bit or maybe even a lot, 'You are no fun… ok fine set me up with a lady friend but you better get my wife here too…oh spoiler alert huh, oh relax…don't give me that frowny face…'

.

.

Aria T'Loak sighed as she watched the pole dancers from her grand throne in a rare moment of relaxation even having a drink. Though from another's perspective she may look like she is relaxed and vulnerable but she get as old as she is and powerful as she is by being weak. The Asari ex-commando eyed the crowd trying to figure out from where this assassin was coming at her.

She knew full well that a group of Blue Sun mercenaries got in their heads that taking her out would be an easy ticket to the top. Pity was she found out that Blue Suns command had nothing to do with it, if they had even a slightest link with these so called assassin's she would've gutted them and Eclipse and Blood Pack just to make an example.

It would've been a great example and a very simple one, one any waif on Omega knew by heart "You don't fuck with Aria."

She smiled her eyes spotting something red and black, she readied her gun "I am Omega."

She saw a glint of light and saw a sniper perched on the ceiling aiming at her through the vents and just like that she picked out 7 no 8 walking corpses that were after her…what gave her pause was the red and black spandex wearing clown who came in armed to the teeth, 'Clearly the rats have built a hole.'

She thought his clothing implied he was Blood Pack but they would never take a human not for money or weapons so her thoughts lingered on the chances of a nut-job getting the same idea as the Blue Suns and walking in at the same time.

She saw the guy try a drink and Grizz hissed, she turned to her Turian bodyguard and he stated clearly "The nut is drinking a Turian brandy."

She raised an eyebrow at the foolish mistake considering the Dextro-amino acid based DNA that Turians possess as opposed to the Levo-amino acid DNA of humans at best drinking or eating the food of the opposed would give them no reaction or nutrition but at worst it would cause a lethal allergic reaction or even poison the system. Well the poisoning was only in Humans who tried so far, Turian were tough bastards.

But the clown had shown no reaction whatsoever in fact from his movements she could tell he had already sized up the other 7 of the assassins and then he locked eyes with her, she smirked internally as she saw him tremble but unmoving from his place 'Good, he's intimidated…'

Well that's one enemy she wouldn't need to worry about, she'd kill him later. She smirked but that cold smirk was wiped off her face and the entirety of Afterlife went silent at what happened next…

"YOUR GALLANT KNIGHT IS HERE TO SAVE YOU MY PURPLE PRINCESS!"

Every being in Omega froze in place looking open eyed and gaping at the audacity at the spandex wearing clown, those who were stone-cold drunk grew sober in seconds as they went white as sheets in horror even the gunmen out to shoot Aria gaped before noticing Aria rise as a vision of fury but they also noticed that her bodyguards were busy gaping like everyone else so on their comms they initiated their plan at that very instant.

Aria's men took a moment to respond to the numerous gunmen levelling their guns at Aria, while she prepared a barrier to surround herself from any harm but noticed the red and black clown pull out two Carnifex pistols and with speed and accuracy Aria would be hard pressed to admit that even veteran Asari commando's never have and that's including herself. The clown shot every single gunman down with each bullet striking them in the head.

Now there was another reason for everyone present to be shocked as 7 dead bodies dropped, the patrons being shocked enough hightailed it out of there and the dancers got down behind the bar. He turned to Aria and holstered his pistols and asked her "Now that I've saved you princess, let's make passionate love on the bar."

Perplexed, Aria did the only thing she would, she shot him multiple times in the chest.

What shocked everyone present is that he kept standing there with bloody holes in his torso and clutched his chest over his heart and in a dramatic voice stated "Ah, shot through the heart figuratively and literally…ah such wonderfully agonizing pain is…is this what they call love?!"

Aria herself grew even more perplexed she knew her anatomy, she shot him in vital points even if the guy had cybernetic implants or organs, multiple vital organs were hit so he should've gone down but he was healing like a goddamn Krogan…she could see that his body was actually healing faster than a Krogan at that and she was used to being the center of everyone's lust one of the perks of being Master of Omega she could show it off but everyone knew that she was untouchable but this nut was openly romancing her…

Her eyebrow twitched, even Krogan have a glaring weakness over their regeneration. A shot to the head killed near damn anything and she did so.

And down he went. His body twitched a few times, Aria simply holstered her gun as did her bodyguards thinking it was over.

But suddenly the body sat up and she first hand saw the hole in his head begin to stitch itself up and after a bit he complained "Ow…right at the speech center. Not very nice princess…" He gave himself a once over and said "Could you also stop shooting at me, my uniforms got enough holes in it as is anymore and you may as well strip me…is that what you're doing? Stripping me then by all means continue."

And for the first time in a very long time Aria T'Loak freaked out as if she was just hitting her maiden stage and reacted like a teenager and with a loud screech and glowing with biotics lashed out at Super Regenerator hard enough that he created an imprint of the man in the wall.

"Ow…" His face hit the floor seemingly knocked out. Gathering her composure not that any of her bodyguards would blame her for losing it they pretty much lost it as well nor would they mention it to her unless they wanted to be thrown out of an airlock.

Aria strode over to the still alive clown, she created an Omni Blade to cut off his head…then she paused 'Should I kill him, he may dress like a clown his skills are unmatched not to mention his regeneration that makes a Krogan look slow. He is undoubtedly human…but despite their experiments into enhancing their physiology there are no mentions of an experiment creating something like him. His skill could easily make the man military…a shadow op? No humans are too damn arrogant to keep a breakthrough like him secret for long, even that upstart extremists Cerberus had no chatter regarding him. So he's not even on their radar which pretty much makes him nonexistent, with a man like him I doubt the Illusive Man would focus solely on Shepard.'

She undid the blade and turned to her Bodyguards "Grizz! Anton! Get him to the Doctor down in the Apartments neighborhood. Tell Mordin Solus that it isn't a request and that this man is to be treated with utmost care and secrecy and I want him as a picture of health." She paused "Grizz stay with him and inform me once he wakes up."

Aria walked back to her quarters with a smile 'If his romancing is real, then I can manipulate him. His skills and ability is an asset I can't ignore and nor will Cerberus once they catch wind of it.'

Hey,

Bunch of ideas jumping around my head for a while and one of them is this hope you like it.

Happy Diwali!