Pins and Needles —
"Every now and again, we find ourselves in need of patching up worn away spots and holes in our lives. Sometimes by reattaching the parts that fell away, and sometimes by replacing it with something new, and stronger."
—
Jackson wasn't one to hold grudges…okay that's a lie, Holt is proof enough that grudges are COMPLETELY acceptable, but rather he was less likely to 'act' on them.
But one thing he didn't cope well with was abandonment and especially without any closure or resolve. His hand shakily prodded the mystery meat on the plate before him and he emitted and tiny squeak of horror when it began to writhe.
He sighed heavily and stared again over at the next table where Frankie sat with the Hybrids today, her new boyfriend (like, the third or fourth one so far since 'pausing' their relationship).
The green ghoul laughed and held onto Neighthan's arm and he smiled down at her as they discussed something, surely sappy and romantic, and it was annoying.
She stretched up to kiss his cheek, and accidentally shocked him. They all laughed even more and Jackson rolled his eyes so hard, he wouldn't have been surprised if they'd fallen out and been gobbled up by the living garbage on his plate.
It wasn't that he hated her…no, he didn't, he COULDN'T, but it still hurt.
First it was Holt. That was at least understandable, in hindsight. They were technically the same person, or at least the same body.
He sighed and got up quickly, and tossed away the probably mutant creature food. In HINDSIGHT, he and Holt should have just agreed to BOTH date her at the same time and maybe this wouldn't be happening to him.
He was led by his own feet aimlessly towards the exit of the creepateria when a jolting pain shot through his left side and he found himself flat on the ground.
Dozens of student laughed and suddenly took notice of him, and he panicked, shuffling to get up but slipping over a few times first.
He wildly looked around in a rage so he could throw whatever had tripped him into the nearest black hole, but then his resolve crumbled when a sad, sloppy mop head gazed up from beside him, a look of shame on his face.
"Oh my ghoul, I'm so sorry Jackson!" He cried, pushing himself up and then offering to help him up too.
But Jackson knew better… He got up on his own not willing to risk pulling them both down again. He brushed himself off and then smiled awkwardly before quickly running the rest of the way out of the room.
'Hoodude', Jackson thought, 'I can't throw Hoodude away,' he chided himself, feeling guilty about his heated anger.
While he didn't know the ragged doll very well, he knew they shared common grounds at least.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Well… Seriously I mean?" The doll reeled off, fretting over him, having followed him diligently from the creepateria.
"What? Uh, no…no I'm fine." He replied, startled at how he'd kept up with his strides. Perhaps being made of materials and not flesh was a bonus when it came to physical endurance.
Hoodude sighed in relief and clasped his sewn hands together, "oh thank goodness! I'm so clumsy all the time!"
He hung his head in shame, "I'm sorry the other monster all laughed at you for it too."
Jackson was a lot calmer now, the incident having proven to distract him well from his toxic dwellings. He grinned sympathetically and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, it's alright. I'm used to that." He dropped his grin for a moment and rubbed the back of his head, "huh, I'm used to a lot of bad things."
He leaned against the lockers and slid down, grateful that during lunch, there was seldom any other student bodies in the vicinity. He could mope in peace.
Hoodude carefully joined him.
"Speaking of which," the doll began, "I noticed you seemed upset in the creepateria. Hehe, actually, the whole reason I fell over was because I was trying to catch up to you." He admitted.
Jackson spared him a confused look and then glanced at his feet, "Was it obvious? I…I guess I'm just having a bad day." He stuttered out.
It discomforted him a little, either due to the fact that his emotions were so evident, or that Hoodude had been possibly watching him during lunch.
Hoodude shrugged and replied, "it's probably just because, I know what you're feeling right now. It mightn't be obvious to other monsters, but as a lover myself, I couldn't help but notice. You know what I mean, right?" He asked, his button eyes fixed on him, and the fabric of his 'eyebrows' scrunched with worry.
Still a little unnerved, but a little more comfortable now, Jackson smirked and shook his head, "you know, I was just thinking about that earlier."
He rested his chin on his folded arms, which were crossed over his knees, and he mumbled, "I wonder if she even remembers I exist."
"Oh, of course she does. Well, at least I'm sure she isn't doing this on purpose." Hoodude paused, and hummed noncommittally before adding, "well, not to YOU at least. Hehe, at least you got a proper warning before she let you go. I got literally thrown into a trash can!"
Jackson fought back a snort, beating himself up inside, trying to not laugh at the bluntness in his tone.
"Oh, well, yeah I never thought of it that way before!" He admitted, clearing his throat.
Hoodude smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, "did you want to talk about it? I'm very good with emotions. I find its my specialty." He offered.
For a long moment Jackson stared into the seemingly lifeless eyes before him, stuck in his mind. While he knew it was good to talk about it, he knew also that he and Hoodude weren't very close soto speak, and so it felt weird to just tell a stranger….
But then again, they DID have common ground.
He hummed, and searched his face a little more, studying the way he smiled softly, and how his facial stitches seems to move with his mood and genuine concern.
"It's okay if you don't want to," he interjected suddenly, a vaguely pained look crossing his cross-stitched features, and he drew his hand away, "I didn't mean to intrude, I mean, if this is a little awkward for you." He said.
Jackson whimpered, having achieved the exact result that he HADNT wished to, and he quickly jumped to console him.
"Oh, no it isn't like that! I, really do appreciate it, but there's just SO MUCH to talk about, and I feel like I'd just be bombarding you with personal stuff…"
He stretched out his legs and unfolded his arms, dropping them into his lap, matching Hoodudes position on the floor, against the lockers.
The sounds of the students in the lunch room seemed so distant and eerie now, echoing creepily through the dimly lit hallways.
Spiders began to scurry away as a few bats made their way through the hall and then the hall returned to its dead state.
"I mean," Jackson began, finally giving in, "it isn't so much that she's moved on. I could handle that, but…she never really broke up with me. Or Holt even, for that matter. She just said she'd take a break and then never bothered to ask us if we were ready to try again. Not even ONCE."
He grunted in frustration, and covered his face with one hand, the other wrapping securely around his waist, "It feels like she just saw some other hot monsters and magically forgot that I'd still been there, waiting for a conclusion… I got no closure at all!"
Hoodude scooted closer to him and sighed, "just like when a story gets discontinued! And you never can know what the end would've been like. Right?" He clasped his hands and looked up at the ceiling.
"Well, I guess you could say that." Jackson muttered, "but at least when a story gets discontinued, the fans can still imagine what ending they wanted and be happy. Can't do that in real life."
Hoodude chuckled and looked at him, his button eyes almost seeming life like in that moment from the way his stitched mouth nudged them up softly with his smile.
"Yeah, like fan fiction?" He asked, and caught Jackson off guard a little.
He laughed and doubled over, and looked at the equally laughing doll beside him, "yeah! Fan fiction for real life would be creepy… Haha, and not in a good way!" He agreed.
"How do you even know what that IS?" Jackson asked, "I was almost content with the delusion I was alone with my terrible fan fictions…"
Hoodude shrugged and replied, "Oh, everyone's written a LITTLE Fic before, it's just not often anyone admits it. You probably wouldn't care for mine though. I'm fond of mainly romance, and other ghouly things like that…"
He frowned rather profoundly, and curled up his legs to his chest.
Jackson looked at him sympathetically, noticing that he actually knew very little about this monster than he'd once liked to think. He was so…FEELING, and dramatic, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"Oh, come on, it's okay to like ghouly stuff. I mean, I don't like it personally, but people shouldn't be made to feel bad about what they like." He said.
Immediately the ragged monster perked up and threw himself back into the conversation, "Oh! Really? You think so?" He asked animatedly, and Jackson couldn't help but smile now.
"Yeah! Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad, or you should have to choose to like something you can't fully enjoy."
His mind wandered back to his irrational irritation with Frankie and the way he'd poorly handled her with the Holt situation.
Maybe HE should have been more sensitive to how SHE felt back then. It must've been difficult, loving two boys at the same time. All he and Holt had done was try to force her to choose.
"I should follow my own advice more often." He admitted.
He felt Hoodude pat his shoulder once again, "yes, you're right. She's happy with who she likes right now, and even though it hurts you now, you wouldn't want to force her to change her mind. It wouldn't be right. You wouldn't want that to be done to you, after all."
Jackson looked at him, in silent awe. He really WAS good with the whole feelings thing. He was VERY perceptive too.
"Yeah, I guess that's the way I have to think of it. But… It still hurts. I can't help but feel sidelined. And it doesn't help that I'm already very disadvantaged here, socially, at this school."
"Oh, you're not THAT disadvantaged. You've got a few friends, and your grades are very spectacular!" Hoodude rebutted, "but I understand how things like this can distort how you feel. But just look at me!"
He gestured to himself. "I'm a messy, clumsy voodoo doll, with little control over my powers. I got thrown in a trash can after my whole purpose in life was initially to be a lover. And I have no really close friends, aside from the ghouls who like to include me sometimes. You're doing s lot better than me."
With every word he spoke, Jackson began to feel less and less sorry for himself, and more and more aware that … Maybe other monsters… Other PEOPLE were having it a lot harder.
His brows knit together and he looked away, unable to continue seeing this, happy, bubbly, and gentle doll depreciate himself like that. And for what? To make HIM feel better?
"You know…" He began, "I may not know you very well, but… If you'd like, we can hang out more."
He didn't gain a response, so he continued, "I mean, I guess talking to you today really did help me, but, now that I have I get the feeling…"
The bell suddenly screeched and both boys jolted in shock, scurrying up to their feet, and trying to come back to their senses.
They looked at each other and then towards the creepateria where hundreds of ghouls and monsters would soon be stampeding out of.
"We'd better make a run for our classes before we stuck in the after-lunch rush." Jackson said, and Hoodude hummed in agreement.
He spun on his heel and then began to walk away, but before he could get very far, a sudden squishy, enthusiastic pair of arms embraced him, and he felt the fibres of his mop like hair against the back of his neck as Hoodude buried his face there.
"Oh, Jackson, you can come and talk to me any time! I don't mind!" He whispered, a hint of something Jackson couldn't quite place in his voice.
Hoodude release him before anyone saw, and then hurried off to his own locker, and Jackson stood on the spot for a while, blushing furiously, and suddenly feeling weak in the knees.
It was probably just because it was so sudden, and unexpected, so he tried to brush it aside as he hurried off to get ready for Clawculus.
But as he paused in front of his locker and remembered the…the utter serenity he'd felt, just simply talking to him, and then evaluating this new, and rather positive rush that was filling his person, and made a note in his mind that he'd DEFINITELY be talking to him again.
Maybe they both could work on their love, and self love problems together. He smiled softly and began to gather his books, still confused but for the first time in a while, content