Less Than a Hope, Not Even a Dream

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"Sasuke." Mikoto Uchiha awoke her son, smiling, "Sasuke, Naruto is here to see you!" the Uchiha youth blinked in confusion, getting up slowly.

"Okay mother." he murmured unsure, she smiled big and quickly walked out.

"Such a respectful son!" he heard her murmur as she left.

"What the hell is goin on?" he whispered to himself, getting up and quickly getting dressed.

"Sasuke!" it was Naruto this time who called for him.

"Naruto?" he questioned, curious. The blonde glomped him happily.

"Sasuke! You were taking so long that I had to make Mikoto let me in! She warned me not to do anything naughty, but I think if we're quiet..." Naruto blushed slightly and leaned over, kissing him passionatly.

"Huh? Naruto! What the hell are you doing?" the shinobi looked hurt.

"Don't you love me Sasuke?" he blinked, blushing furiously.

"What about Sakura, Ino, and Hinata?" Naruto shrugged.

"They hooked up in a threesome involving pudding every Wednesday night." Sasuke blanched slightly.

"Shion and those other random girls you met who wanted to hook up with you?"

"Shion has a baby now, and those other girls hooked up with the guys of Konoha so that they didn't have to marry civilians." he blinked a few times... at least that seemed logical... somehow.

"But why me? I thought you would've chosen Gaara or Shikamaru or that creepy eyeglass dude...."

"Shino?" Naruto questioned.

"Yeah him."

"There all in a threesome with each other too, but with jello instead, but..." he lowered his eyelids lustfully and pouted a bit, "You're the only one I want!" Sasuke blinked.

"Really?" Naruto grinned mischeivously.

"Of course Sasuke! Why do you think I've been trying to find you so hard?" he leaned forward, tapping foreheads with the Uchiha, "So that we can be the hottest twosome in all of Konoha, with the possibility of being a fivesome." he blinked.

"So you want us to be the hottest twosome in Konoha?"

"With the possiblty of being a fivesome."

"Isn't that an orgy?" Naruto shrugged.

"Come on, I've been wanting to do this to you since you killed Itachi!" Then, he leaned forward and locked lips with Sasuke. He flushed and his eyelids lowered lustfully, gripping the back of the blonde's head and deepening the kiss.

"Why foolish brother, I didn't know you felt this way about me." he blinked as suddenly Naruto transformed into Itachi. In the corner, his mother had transformed into Orochimaru. Sasuke screamed.

"AAAAAAA-"

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"-AUGH!" he blinked furiously, blushing slightly. Silently thankful that nobody but Suigetsu and Jungo were around to hear.

"What's up with you?" he asked crossly, having been rudely awoken by the scream. He noticed, blankly, that the other resident of the room was missing.

"Where's Jungo?" he asked instead of answering.

"Hmph, it's rude to answer a question with a question!" he said angrily.

"I'm going to go find him before he kills somebody." he sat up and began to slip out of the town.

"Pussy." before he could blink, Suigetsu found himself flying -along with the tent unfortunately- into the sky. Sasuke watched.

"Hn... how loathsome." he murmured, "I could've ruined the tent." he sighed and prepared to go and find the idiotic whitehead and tent.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________AN:

This was really freakin hard. I'm no fluff writer, I write depressing things, I'm a teenager, I have teenaged angst to express before go into conniptions. However, I didn't write this for my own enjoyment (as noted by above complainging) it was a request from Paradoxpunk88, who wanted a NaruSasu reverse of Coward, so I made it the prequel, to explain Suigetsu's behavior in Coward, and because sometimes, you just have to do things you don't want to (not to make Paradoxpunk88 feel guilty, I love NaruSasu, and this will build character! Just like good ole' dad never said....) So yeah... sorry if sucks, I'm not a fluff writer, I write like what MASH was in its final seasons, drama with hints of comedy. This is just cheesy and embarrassing.... You know, I have nickname because of that. During class I write romance for short stories that have to be turned in, and because our teacher liked them (last year) she would read them allowd.

I got the nickname "Corny", which is actually two letter away from my actual name (Oh! The first person to guess my name gets a free oneshot, wheee! I love to torture myself!)