Dear Cody,
I don't really know where to start. I've never been good with apologies. You know that better than anyone. You know me better than anyone.
You probably already know why I'm apologising, but the least I can do is explain myself.
I remember, you and Bailey were so happy together. You both planned that you would visit her in Kettlecorn on the last day of Senior Year. But when the day came this summer, you had the flu and you couldn't go. Then you suggested I go instead. Bailey agreed. I agreed because I didn't want to hurt her, or you. But I've done it anyway, I've made a mess of everything.
When I got to Kettlecorn, I hated it at first. It was so different from Boson; all farmland and cows everywhere. Definitely not my scene. Bailey knew that without me saying anything, but she said I'd like it after a few days. And as it turned out, I did. I helped Bailey and her family on the farm, and managing all her little brothers, and everything. I actually enjoyed it, which you probably don't believe.
Anyway, Bailey and me got a lot closer as friends. But, we seriously don't know how it happened, but we fell in love with each other. I could have like her the whole time but never realised it. I remember that fight we had over her when you found out she was a girl.
It just happened one day about a week after I went there when we were out walking. We were talking about school, and you, Woody, London and everyone. Then…I don't know. I can't explain it. You mentioned it from some book you have. The silver cord-soul mates-whatever it's called, that's what happened.
It got stronger every day after that. But you never left my mind, and I knew you would find out somehow. It still kills me how much I hurt you. Bailey won't admit it, but I know she can't stand hurting you either. When she told me she was going to break up with you, I almost told her she should dump me instead. I don't know why I didn't say that. I was selfish, I guess. Everyone says you're the nice twin and I'm the jerk. They're right. I don't think I'm good enough for Bailey. She could be with someone better. Like you.
I miss you like hell, but I can't come back to Boston. If I can't find a job here, I'll go somewhere else n Kansas. I can't face you now. Not after all the horrible things I've done to hurt you. I can't face Mom either-she'd always said I should let you get the girl, and what I've done is the opposite. Maddie would never forgive me, and neither would London. Mr. Moseby was always calling me selfish whenever I messed with you-he was right, of course-and I'd hate to think what he'd say to me now. Tell Mom I love her, yeah?
In everything I've just said (or written), I still haven't got to the point.
Cody, I am so sorry. I know you won't forgive me. This isn't something you can just resolve by saying sorry. But it's all I can do. I love you; you're my brother and best friend. You always have been, and you always will be, even if we never see each other again.
Lots of love, your big bro,
Zack.
~XxX~
Cody read through the letter again and again. That was why Bailey had dumped him. She was in love with Zack. Cody was still hurting but this letter hurt more than anything.
Zack wasn't coming back? He probably meant it. He was eighteen now, so Mom couldn't make him come back. He was an adult now.
This hurt him a lot. Bailey leaving him for Zack. His brother. Zack's apology really got to him. He could see that Zack meant it, even though it was just written on a piece of paper.
--A week later --
Cody opened the letter from Kettlecorn. The letter was very smudged and blotchy. He looked at the signature at the bottom. It was from Bailey. He started to read.
Dear Cody,
I'm sorry. About everything. I know how much I hurt you. I even hurt Zack by hurting you. I know about the letter he sent you; the one you got was his second try. I found the first one he wrote inside my shoe. I don't know how it got there; maybe the cat did it.
Anyway, I could see how much didn't want to love me, just because it hurt you. I know how much you two care about each other; I wish me and my sister were like that.
I'm not just writing you a letter to apologise. You're still really special to me. But, I have bad news. And it's about Zack. He's dead.
Cody stopped in shock. Should he tell Mom? Of course he should! But she was out with Dad. They had gone out to dinner for some unknown reason. He went back to the letter.
It happened yesterday. We took my little brother, Nate, to the town hall; there was some meeting thing going on. I don't remember now. But in the middle of it, this man burst into the room. You could tell that he was a complete psycho without even looking at that shotgun.
Everything happened fast. He aimed at me first; I had my closed, waiting for the pain. But it didn't come. Instead I just landed on the ground and felt someone fall on me. I realised what had happened when I felt how cold and still he was…
I don't know why I wrote that. I should scribble it out or something, but I have to keep going. Everything was chaos after that. People screaming, dying, the whole time that psycho was laughing his head off. Then someone through a chair at him, and it was over.
Nate kept trying to get me to see sense, but I was just screaming and sobbing hysterically and shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. But he didn't…
A drop of water landed on the paper and Cody realised he was crying. The smudges on the paper were tears from Bailey. She'd being crying as she wrote the letter. Zack was gone. Forever.
I feel so guilty. If he hadn't come to Kettlecorn, this whole mess wouldn't have happened. I've never felt so guilty. If I was brave enough, I'd go and stab myself with the bread knife. But I'm not. I'll have to live with this guilt forever. I guess it's what I deserve.
I love you, Cody. I always will. Maybe not in love with you, but you seriously don't know how important you are to me.
Lots of love,
Bailey.
P.S. We haven't done anything about the funeral. You're his family, after all. It's up to you. Xxx
Cody picked up his cellphone with shaking hands, and typed in his mom's number.
--Two weeks later--
"Zack was one of my best friends ever. He accepted everything that made me weird or different. He was an amazing person; he had his faults, like everyone, but he was an loyal and firm friend. I'll miss him a lot, but I've got memories of him, and that's good."
Woody stopped. "Thanks for listening."
He went and stood beside Maddie, Bailey, London and Cody, completely serious for one. Carey and Kurt had already said their words, now it was their turn. London went up next.
"Hi. Zack was a good friend. I know now how much I annoyed everyone by constantly saying how rich I am and everything. Zack never seemed to mind. He was a good friend. A lot of fun to be with, he understood me when other people didn't. I'll never forget him." She swallowed. "Thanks."
Then it was Maddie's turn.
"Zack and I were close friends from the second we met, practically. I remember whenever I was upset, he was always there for me. On my sixteenth birthday, I felt so lonely and rejected by everybody. He was the only one I had. I'll always be grateful to him, and I'll always have memories of the good times we had together. Thank you."
Cody took a shaky breath. After Bailey, it was his turn.
Bailey gulped and started speaking.
"Hi. Zack is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He was a special person; everyone could tell, even if he couldn't. He was brave and fearless when it came to defending his friends. I'll never be the same because of him. It's . . . unfair that he had to die, but I'm going to remember all the fun I had with him and smile. I hope you can, too." She took another shuddery breath. "That's all. Thanks."
Cody stepped up.
"Zack was like my other half. He was my best friend since we were babies. We did everything together. He accepted me, even if he didn't always agree with me. I could always tell him everything, and he was always there for me, whether I needed him or not. He's not the kind of person you can forget. And he should be here with us, but he's not . . . "
Cody's eyes filled with tears. He brushed them away and continued.
"But saying he should still be alive won't change anything. I'll never forget him; I can't forget him. We'll always be best friends, no matter what."
"That's all. Thank you for listening."
OMG I started crying when I was writing this! I'm such a wuss . . . please review! I don't know yet but I might do some sort of sequel. Reviews are appreciated!