Title: Because I love you
Author: mikesh
Pairing: Cordy/Doyle
Summary: looking back at life
Part: 1:1
I still remember the day that I laid my eyes on you. I thought that you were the most beautiful thing I'd every seen in my life. I knew that you'd never be mine. That's why when I didn't die I was shocked to find out that it was because you returned my feelings. I didn't think that you loved me. I tried to not love you but that just made me love you even more. And when you didn't hate me for what I was I knew that it could work out.
And it did.
I remember our wedding day. I can't tell you who was all there, but I can tell you that you were the most beautiful thing in the world. When you cried saying your vows you were the most beautiful thing in the world to me. I loved and still love you with all of my heart.
I couldn't and still can't believe that only two months after we got married you got pregnant. I know you were scared because the demons were after us. What I never told you was I was just as scared as you were. I was afraid that I would mess up and our child would hate me for the rest of it's live. Or that I'd get killed and never have the chance to see our child born. Angel helped me with my fears after I about jumped out of my skin one day. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear him come in. I didn't even notice him until he clamped him hand on my shoulder. I thought that it was some demon coming after me, but I realized that it was only Angel. He sat me down and we talked. He's the one that got me over my fears and get through the next few months. But when I saw Suzan I knew that all my fears were for nothing. I knew even if I did mess up that she would still love me and you wouldn't hate me.
Then one year later you told me that you were expecting our second child. I was happy because it was the night of our anniversary. I was so happy words couldn't describe it. I remember how Suzan thought that it was her that was having the baby, not you. Then when our child stared to grown inside you she was so happy she could feel it kick. She got so tickled when he'd kick and she'd put her head on your stomach. When Jake was born she was so good with him. She was like a little mom to him. She helped you take care of him and she didn't complain too much when he started crying. You were always so tired after taking care of Jake all day but you still found time to do the house work.
But the one thing that I still don't get is why did you jump in front of that bullet? It wasn't meant for you. It was meant for me. You should be the one down here watching our son and daughter play with each other while getting ready for the new baby. You should be the one here. You never even got to find out that you were carrying twins. Right now you would have been eight months along. There's times that I feel like ending my life because I just can't handle you not being here but then I'll look at our son and daughter and know that my place is down here. I haven't slept in weeks. Every time I do sleep I see the shooting all over again. You should have been the one protecting the kids while I took the bullet, but I was the one that was watching them. You should have died an old woman in your bed. You should have died because of a bank robbery gone wrong.
But last night it was different I asked you before bed why you stepped in front of me. All you said was "Because I love you."
So what do u all think?
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