Prologue:

"I'm sorry Mr Carrington I just wish I had better news for you."

Gritting his teeth so as to bite back a comment he would probably later regret Blake Carrington paced the specialist's office, back and forth, back and forth. He knew precisely that he could take five paces each way before he needed to turn around, three then five if he turned 90 degrees instead of the usual 180 if he felt the need for a little variety.

"But you said with the drug treatment and chemotherapy that things would be alright that…"

"No I said we stood a good chance, what with the general state of health and all the expertise money could buy but there was always a chance that that wouldn't be enough." The Doctor replied his voice deliberately calm but firm as he had learnt when dealing with Blake Carrington the man could be unpredictable like a grizzly bear and just as deadly.

"However there is some good news in all of this…"

"Good news." Blake scoffed shaking his head as he turned his dark gaze on the so-called expert. "You told me that her immune system is failing that she can't leave this god forsaken place like I had promised her she could, that all it would take is some damned strong cold or virus and I could lose her forever!"

"But the cancer is in remission." The Doctor insisted. "And there are other things we can do to try and boost her immune system…Speaking of which…" The Doctor paused before taking his life in his hands. "Have you spoken with the girl's mother if we could just get her tested…"

"No!" Blake growled his dark eyes alight with a rage and fire that even in the months of knowing him the good Doctor had only seen when someone had dared to breath the name of that woman. Yet enough was enough and as a Doctor he had to place the well being of his patient before anything else.

"Mr Carrington do you love your daughter?"

Stunned by the impertinent question Blake clenched his fists wanting nothing more than to reach across and punch the doctor in the face. "How dare…"

"If you loved your daughter you would be prepared to do anything to help her, now I don't know what happened between you and her mother and frankly I don't care. If one awkward conversation and few blood tests could potentially save her life then as her loving father don't you owe it to her to try?"

Now Blake wished he had punched him, had stopped him from coming out with such an accusation, from having to hear the advice that Blake had been dreading having to hear; the truth that he could no longer escape from. From avoiding making the decision and the phone call that he should have made months ago when Fallon first complained of feeling so tired. He had thought they could make it through this without having to let 'her' back in. Yet if it would help his daughter than he would crawl across broken glass if necessary.

After all a conversation with Alexis would be painful but it wouldn't kill him and if he didn't well then he might as well walk into his brave daughter's room right now and smother her himself; after all if he didn't he might as well have killed her himself.

"Alright Doctor you made your point, I will do as you ask."

And with that decision made Blake felt a sickness descend, his stomach suddenly tied in knots as he wondered how…when…if he could keep it from his children. It was just too much to handle, the leukaemia was one thing but facing an irate Alexis Carrington when she learnt he had kept this from her, that was suicide.

Part 1:

Sitting in her first class seat as the Boeing 737 winged its way over the Atlantic Alexis Carrington stared out of the window, not caring that there was nothing to see. It was the red eye flight, the overnighter that would see her arriving in New York around nine the next morning, or was it the day before? Alexis didn't know and right now she didn't particularly care.

Even being ensconced in first class couldn't thrill her the way it usually did. The champagne tasted like ashes in her mouth, the thought of food turned her stomach. The in flight movie was typical of the trash that Hollywood was producing these days and she didn't particularly care for the rather dull bore who had bribed the stewardess to be placed next to her either. Fortunately he had managed to take the hint, after Alexis had asked him if he would like his hand severed above or below the wrist when he had dared to place it on her knee.

She had quickly been left alone after that, which was just how Alexis liked it. Normally she would have tried to sleep on such a long flight just to avoid looking like death warmed over the next day but she couldn't sleep now. Not while her mind kept bombarding her with question after question with only the scant conversation with Blake to provide the answers, a conversation that was on constant repeat in her thoughts.

It had been just another day in the St Tropez, the night before had been slightly heavy on the cocktails; a yachting party hosted by the French film star Yves Montard and his charming if slightly aloof wife. Not that Alexis blamed her for viewing all the pretty younger ladies suspiciously, she had let herself go a little and being married to a man who had indulged in a notorious affair with Marilyn Monroe…Well perhaps she had a reason to be paranoid?

Alexis had been fighting a hangover and winning when the telephone in her elegant bistro apartment had begun to ring. For a long moment Alexis considered ignoring it but in the end if for no other reason that to make sure it shut up she had crawled her over her still comatose lover and picked it up.

To say she had been shocked on hearing the voice at the other end had been an understatement and for a long moment she paused unable to think of a reply. It hadn't been until Blake's voice sounded again down the line that she was jarred from her stupor.

"Alexis I know that you are there I can hear you breathing down the phone!"

"Blake…" Alexis gasped her reply her quick mind suddenly going into overdrive, there could only be three possible reasons Blake Carrington was ringing her and since Alexis didn't dare to hope about the first she felt her heart tighten. "The children…What's happened? Is it Fallon…Steven?"

Alexis could hear Blake's sigh down the phone and she couldn't help but share his pain, no matter what passed between them they still had the bond of their children between them and that was something that nothing could break.

"Fallon is sick…The Doctors have diagnosed Leukaemia…"

"Oh my god." Alexis gasped unable to blink back the tears picturing her vibrant little girl, chestnut hair bouncing as she talked on at a mile a minute, blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "Is she…"

"Alexis you need to come, the doctors need to run some tests, they are running them on all the family to see who might be compatible…I don't understand it all but one of us might be a close enough match in something or other that our blood might be able help."

"I'll get there as soon as I can, I'll try and get the next flight…"

"I've already taken care of that, I've booked you on the Ten O'clock flight from Paris, that'll get you to New York, I'll have the Denver Carrington jet meet you at JFK and bring you to Denver. I take it you can get to Paris by then?"

"I'll be there." Alexis had answered glancing at the bedside clock, even if she had to hitch hike she'd get there.

"Alright."

Hearing the resignation in Blake's voice as he prepared to end the call Alexis couldn't help it, the words slipped out before she could stop them. "Thank you Blake...Thank you."

Her gratitude clearly started Blake as he awkwardly cleared his throat. "Alright I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Alexis had echoed holding on to the phone long after Blake had put his down.

Tomorrow or was it now today? Shrugging Alexis Carrington continued to stare out of the window unable to stop wondering just what she would find waiting for her when she reached her destination. Only one thing was certain, and that was she had no way of knowing how she would be received. Had Fallon been asking for her, or was Blake calling her really the last resort that it sounded?

Whatever the case she finally had a chance, a chance she had been waiting and hoping for five years. The chance to see her children to be a mother again and it wasn't a chance that she was going to give up on, after all she never knew when or if she would get another.

Part 2:

Blake Carrington hated feeling out of control. He had always been a man who had shaped his own destiny, who had taken his life and made it what it was today through sheer determination and bloody mindedness. Yet since the family doctor had come down from examining his little girl, who had collapsed after playing a simple game of tennis, to tell a stunned Blake Carrington that Fallon needed to go to the hospital for tests Blake had felt anything but in control.

That feeling hadn't abated in fact it had simply grown with time until now he felt buffeted by the tide, pushed which ever way the wind chose struggling to keep his chin above water. He had to be the strong one. The father who was there to keep Fallon going when things were hard and Blake could only hope he had done a good job.

Anything to keep the nagging guilt from overwhelming him when he remembered the first time Fallon had undergone the drug regime and round of chemotherapy, the treatment that had made her so ill, even sicker than the cancer. Blake had barely left her side tending to her whenever he could, holding her closely when she cried herself to sleep, trying to ignore her sleepy childish pleas for her mother.

Her mother…the woman Fallon never even mentioned in his presence or even to his knowledge out of it. Unlike her brother Fallon reacted angrily whenever any foolish acquaintance happened to mention in passing just how beautiful she was turning out, just like her mother.

So Blake hadn't mentioned her night time plea for her mother and Fallon had never asked for Alexis again, so the matter had been forgotten, or at least pushed aside until now. Now when Blake had to prepare his fragile daughter for a reunion that she would resist out of loyalty to him, a reunion he wished to god he could avoid. Alexis had always been difficult to predict and hard to manage and he wouldn't put it past her to twist this round and make it some how his fault.

Yet now she knew Blake knew there would be no getting rid of her, even if she couldn't help Alexis would insist on interfering. Turning all their worlds upside down just when thing had finally seemed settled. Yet if she could help…Blake would put up with all the Alexis related drama in the world for even a chance his ex-wife could help their child as of right now she was there last hope since neither he or Steven were a close enough match and their only other sibling was lost long ago.

Glancing up as the study door opened Blake didn't need to fake a smile for his long time friend and confidant. "Well?"

"She landed at JFK a half an hour early, luckily the jet was ready and waiting they are already in the air and should be in Denver in little over three hours." Joseph answered unable to disguise his own displeasure with imparting such news. Yet he wasn't fool enough to offer such an opinion now. "Is there anything else you need me to organise?"

"Did you book her a suite at The Carlton?" Blake muttered relieved when Joseph nodded even as his lips thinned in disgust at having to do anything for 'that woman'. "And you'll send the town car to pick her up at the airport I'll drive myself in the Porsche; have them bring her straight to the hospital, the sooner the doctors start the blood tests the better." Blake grumbled mainly to himself. If the idea of having Alexis once more in Denver was distasteful to Joseph than the idea of being stuck alone in a limousine with her was terrifying for Blake.

"As you wish Mr Carrington." A resigned Joseph replied, stepping back through the open doorway as if to leave before pausing. "What about Master Steven is he to be told that 'she' is here?"

For a moment Blake scowled at the thought of his son who had been recalled from school in order to take the same blood tests that Blake and now Alexis had to take. The boy who seemed terrified of not only his father but also his own shadow, so very different from his outgoing fearless sister.

It seemed ironic to Blake that it would be the healthier outdoor loving Fallon that would struck down by such a disease, not that Blake would wish his son suffered instead of his daughter yet he wouldn't be surprised if Steven thought that he did. He had never been as close to his youngest child as he had his daughter; Steven had always been closer to his mother.

So the idea of telling his son that his mother would soon be back in Denver, of seeing the undoubted joy on his face, more than he had ever shown towards his stern father. Blake wasn't sure he could face that, not now, not before seeing Alexis again for the first time in five years.

"Mr Carrington?" Joseph's prompt jarred Blake back to the present.

"No don't tell him anything, I'll let him know when I have to and not before. With any luck Alexis won't be in Denver long enough that he needs to know, just long enough to help Fallon and then she can vanish back into the abyss for all I care." Blake muttered bitterly.

Nodding Joseph stepped back into the corridor closing the door behind him, both men brooding on their own thoughts, Blake on his fears, Joseph on his personal loathing that he didn't see the fleeting shadow duck into the opposite doorway scrunching his small eleven year old frame down into a ball behind one of the large Ming vases so as to avoid being seen.

Finally when the coast was clear Steven inched his way down the corridor, slipping outside and round to the front of the house where his father's long limousine was waiting. A rather familiar expression of determination on his face that belied Blake's assertion that they had little in common.

His father thought he could hide the truth from him well Steven Carrington refused to accept that. The only thing that mattered to Steven at the moment that he slipped into the back of limousine and hid himself on the floor was not that he was disobeying his father but that finally he would get to see his mother again.

Part 3:

Alexis was beyond nervous as the Denver Carrington jet set down at the private airstrip. In fact despite her exhaustion after travelling none stop for the last twelve hours and being up over twenty four her nerves had continued to build as the plane flew over what were once familiar landmarks.

Sighing as she waited for the plane to come to a standstill and the stairs to be lowered Alexis couldn't help but wonder what or who would be waiting for her when they did.

Would Blake be there? Or would he simply send a car, somehow Alexis couldn't imagine her ex-husband wanting to spend any more time with her than he had to. As long as he didn't send Joseph, Alexis couldn't imagine her patience would stretch to dealing with Blake's uppity Mojodomo on little to no sleep and already shredded nerves.

In the end Alexis only had a moment to check her reflection in the small compact, correcting the slight shine to her nose before the doors opened and the rather handsome steward Blake employed helped her down the short staircase to the waiting long black limousine. When nobody save the driver stepped out of the car to greet her Alexis was surprised to find herself both relieved and at the same time disappointed, it was something of anti-climatic return to Denver after all these years of exile.

Watching, as her bags were quickly unloaded from the plane, Alexis strode towards the limousine nodding her greeting to the young man who held the door open for her. She didn't recognise him, so he must be relatively new to Blake's employ but that didn't stop him from watching her in fascination as clearly the Carrington staff gossip grapevine was as alive and well as ever. No doubt by now her exploits had been exaggerated into legend, the beautiful but scandalous first wife who had betrayed her hardworking husband, abandoned her young children etc….

Rolling her eyes as she sank into the welcome sanctuary of the car Alexis was startled to realise immediately that she wasn't alone, there curled up on the floor his big blues staring up at her as if pleading for her not to give him away was her son. For a moment Alexis could only stare back, choking back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. He had grown so much, her little boy was no longer so little, in a few years he would be a man and she would have missed it all.

Just as she stared down at him noting all the changes Steven stared up at his mother imprinting her image in his mind, she looked the same and yet different, as if she had only gone out that morning and not one five year ago. Yet at the same time she was different than he remembered, or perhaps it was his own hazy memory that over the years had fudged together things to try and protect the essence of how it felt to be with his mother, to be truly loved for just being him.

As the car began to move Alexis was jarred from her memories her eyes quickly scanning the interior of the car for the button that would control the privacy screen between the driver and the passengers. This was one reunion that was not for the gossips.

The moment they were alone Alexis let the tears fall, yet she smiled through her tears and that was what Steven seemed to have been waiting for, that special smile that he remembered as being for him alone. Darting up from his seat on the floor Steven flung himself into his mother's arms feeling them come up tight around hugging him into her as if she could erase all the pain in the world.

That was all it took for Steven to lose all pretence of control and wrap his arms around his mother, burying his face into her shoulder the way that he had only ever dreamed of doing for years. The smell of expensive perfume still lingered in the air around Alexis, jasmine and something else, something unique to her that Steven was certain that his mind would always associate the scent of it with his mother now.

He had forgotten that smell but now it surrounded him again Steven felt an unfamiliar sense of calm begin to seep into his body as his mother's cheek came to rest against the top of his head and a hand rubbed light circles into his back. It was different from anything he'd ever remembering feeling before, and he was absolutely certain that he could have never imagined the level of comfort that he felt right now. His gasping breaths began to slow and even out, and in that moment Steven wished more than anything that he could bottle this feeling of being wrapped in his mother arms and carry it around with him forever.

His tears began to slow but it took a few minutes more before Alexis pulled back slightly to look him in the face. For the first time Steven realized that she had been crying as well and he briefly wondered what his father would say if suddenly opened the door to find them like this. His crybaby weakling of a son sobbing like a baby on his mummy's shoulder, he would probably go on to lecture Steven yet again about starting to act like a man, like a Carrington.

Although perhaps his mother would step in to protect him like she used to when he was little and had done something naughty that had made his father yell, like the time Fallon hadn't wanted Blake to go to the office on her birthday so Steven had taken it upon him to hide his father's briefcase so he couldn't go to work. Blake had been furious when a household search had discovered the case under his five year old son's bed and Steven had been sure his father would spank him until his mother stepped in front of him, taking the full force of her husband's temper on herself, giving him back as good as he gave.

That thought brought a smile to his face and Alexis's lips twitched upward in an involuntary response. His mother brought up a hand to wipe away the stray tears that still escaped from the corners of Steven's eyes and his smile grew at the familiar intimate gesture.

"Hi Mum." Steven gasped his voice strained from crying.

Returning his smile Alexis pressed a kiss to his forehead pulling him once more against her, unable to believe that she was finally holding her precious boy in her arms. Muttering her reply against his forehead as she ran her hands through his messy blonde curls. "Hello Steven."

Part 4:

She was here.

Running his hand through his hair nervously Blake forced himself to stop when he realised what he was doing. He was not going to let her get to him like this but dear god he hadn't expected to feel like this. On edge yes after all this time, but not that excited little flip his stomach used to do just like before…

It was just because he hadn't expected to see her at that moment.

That was it that had to be it…

Blake had just been heading out of Fallon's room to pop to the bathroom when down the far end of the corridor being led to an examination room by a nurse there she was. Looking poised and far too beautiful after a killer flight, if anything the years had improved her looks not that Blake was staring.

Then as if sensing someone staring Alexis had glanced back over her shoulder just before she entered the examination room and their gazes had locked sending something akin to electricity across Blake's body. It had only lasted for the moment, their silent exchange but it had shook Alexis just as deeply from the look of unabashed shock on her face.

Leaning on the sink so as to avoid looking at his shaking hands Blake stared into the mirror, for a moment not recognising the man staring back. The premature grey aged him he felt, yet his last girlfriend had insisted it made him look distinguished, which in Blake's eyes that equated to old. He looked like an old man and Alexis was not even 35 yet a woman in her prime who looked not a day over thirty even after travelling thousands of miles.

"You have to get over this old man, she used you, cheated on you, lied to you. She is nothing but a common tramp. She never loved you." Blake repeated to his reflection over and over. It was a rote he had developed in order to get himself through his divorce, through the lonely nights when his bed and seemed to big and too empty, when his children had cried themselves to sleep asking when was Mummy coming home.

Before finishing with. "We are better off without her."

So why for the first time in years did Blake find himself doubting whether that was true?

Rolling down her sleeve after it felt as though the doctor had taken away half of her blood Alexis tried to listen to everything she was being told. The doctor was giving her the potted history of Fallon's condition yet Alexis had to confess she was finding it difficult to concentrate after learning of her daughter's initial diagnosis three months before.

Three months in which Blake hadn't called her.

Three months her child had been suffering in pain and she has her mother had been ignorant of that fact.

How could he have done that? True he had every right to hate her for what she had done to him but hadn't he punished her and the children enough, forbidding them to see each other until they turned eighteen was hard enough but to keep this from her. Alexis hadn't realised until that moment just how deeply Blake Carrington must loathe her and the knowledge turned her stomach.

Hands trembling as she learnt it would be a few days until they got the preliminary results to see if she was a potential donor Alexis only nodded in response to the information and it wasn't until the Doctor asked her if she had any questions that she trusted herself to speak.

"Only one, when can I see my daughter?"

Brushing back the hair from a sleeping Fallon's face Blake tried to concentrate on willing his strength into his little girl yet if he had to admit he was failing badly. Their discussion had not gone well.

As predicted Fallon had tensed up at the very mention of her mother and when Blake had casually mentioned Alexis was in the very same hospital Fallon's response had been immediate and unwavering.

"I don't want to see her."

Resisting the urge to sigh in relief Blake realised that he was the adult here and as painful as it might be he had to at least persuade Fallon to deliver that message to her mother herself otherwise Alexis would undoubtedly fly into one of her rants about him poisoning the children against her or some such rubbish.

"That is your choice, I won't force you to see her." Blake had answered reasonably watching his daughter's expression closely and he could pick out the mixture of relief and was that regret, disappointment. "However I would like you to think it over, I will tell her that right now it is too much but perhaps after you have thought about it…"

"No daddy she left she can't come back now." Fallon answered stubbornly jutting her chin out and despite her pale features she looked so determined Blake didn't have the heart to argue with her.

"Nevertheless she did come back Fallon and she is here because the doctor's hope she might be able to help you."

"And if she can't she'll go away again." Fallon cut in biting her lip in a way that reminded Blake that for all her appearances of being almost grown Fallon was in fact only just thirteen. "We don't need her daddy, we have each other and Steven, we don't need her here."

Sighing Blake knew better than to try and argue with his daughter when she had made up her mind, in that way she was very much like her mother. "Alright I'll tell her."

Except for the fact Blake hadn't told her, he had sat beside his little girl as she drifted off to sleep sending the message to a waiting Alexis with one of the nurses. It wasn't because he was afraid to face her, afraid that that having shouldered this burden for so long alone that just having someone to share it even momentarily would leave him vulnerable.

At least that was what he tried to tell himself as he watched Fallon sleep, after everything Alexis had already done to him it wasn't like she could hurt him more. Could she?