I've been doing Jily AU's for quite sometime and so, here I am, back to 'canon' with a Hogwarts centered fic playing with the patronus-soulmates-trope. I hope you enjoy the ramblings of my imagination because this fic is as silly as it is dark and as hormone induced as it was tumblr fueled.

Chapter 1

love is a ruthless game

As far as Lily Evans was concerned the end-of-summer bonfire thrown by the MacMillan twins was a great justification to drink and laugh as her best friends Mary and Marlene pirouetted like ballerinas in front of the a crackling fire. They were on a remote beach outside of a small village in Wales, the invitation stressing to bring your own Firewhisky. The MacMillan twins had built the fire so wide that if one tried they couldn't look over or around it. Lily and her friends had stolen prime spots far enough from the fire that it warmed their skin as they teased and danced with each other.

The firewhisky bottle Lily held in her hand was ice cold even though the liquid had already been drained from it. The other Gryffindor's from school were close by, some roasting marshmallows and some dancing to the music floating through the air. Lily's eyes fell more than once on two boys dancing awkwardly only feet away. The firewhiskey in her blood made her face hotter when the boy with hazel eyes winked at her cunningly. Lily decided to turn her attention elsewhere.

Marlene McKinnon's long dirt blonde hair was waving and turning different colors against the firelight as she grabbed Lily's hands and began spinning them both around like loons. The radio was playing was some form of wizard rock; causing all the kids surrounding the fire to dance. Lily's firewhisky bottle fell by her feet in the grass and Marlene kicked it out of the way so the girls could keep dancing in circles together.

More people joined the dancing and soon it was a cluster of Hogwarts students simply enjoying the freedom summer gave them. They were all grabbing hands, do-si-do-ing, and twirling each other shamelessly. It was hard to keep track of whom she was dancing with until Lily twirled from Mary MacDonald's loose grip straight into the warm embrace of James Potter.

Lily was still laughing because the warmth of the air kept her joyous. Her head was thrown back as James Potter waltzed them closer to the blazing fire. He was singing obnoxiously along to the song playing on the radio. Lily didn't recognize it but James seemed to love the rock beat. Once in James' arms Lily was lost in his smile. It was always so lopsided and goofy, even as he twirled her so that her skirts rose up around her knees. When she was done spinning she let her hands fall flat against his chest as she flashed him a satisfied smile.

"That was fun!" she told him eagerly, "Spin me again!"

"Did you mean it in your letter last month when you said you were happy that I got Head Boy?" he shouted over the music and cracking fire.

Lily stopped swaying with the music to glower at James, ruining her mood. Even after six years of knowing each other, he still doubted himself, despite the air of confidence he normally radiated. Under her stare he became self-conscious and one of his tan hands reached for his dark hair to ruffle the strands worriedly. Lily dug her fingernails into his shoulders to drag him into a hug. He smelled like the bonfire smoke and when he hugged her back she could feel his awkward laugh vibrate against her chest.

"Of course!" Lily said into his ear, knowing full well how hard James had worked to get the leadership position at school.

When she pulled away from her hug James looked at her kindly, "I wanted to tell you thank you." He said loudly over the music, "I couldn't have done it without your help!"

Lily shook her head briefly, making her red hair slap against her cheeks, "James!" she chastised him, "You filled out the applications, and you went through the interview with the board. You did this all on your own."

Lily had given him tips; after all she'd been through the process to get Head Girl right alongside his application for Head Boy. Even still Lily knew James despised feeling like he didn't deserve something so she had to butter up his normally satiated ego. James, who thrived off compliments, tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. Lily was indistinctly aware of the dancing happening around them but none of it mattered when his hazel eyes twinkled as he drew her in.

He kissed her easy and lightly at first, pressing his lips against hers like it was his first kiss and they were in grade school. Lily, buzzed with firewhisky and joy, kissed him back fervently without query. She didn't know what was hotter on her back, the flickering flames of the bonfire or James' searing hands in her skin. They were just friends but she was kissing him deeply and effortlessly, like he was more than just the esteemed boy from school. James exhaled as he pulled away from her.

He was dazed and she was elated.

"Go out with me?" he breathed the words like he'd been holding them in for quite some time.

Lily winked as she twirled from his embrace, "Nope."

James caught the ends of her hair, letting the red strands slip through his fingers, "Why not?"

Lily danced just out of reach, her skirts swinging about her calves as she rocked on her heels, "Why would we?"

James tilted his head in bewilderment, "You just kissed me?"

"Because we're having fun!"

Lily grabbed his hands before he could protest and twirled their bodies together in a circle, throwing her head back again. The night sky glittered with a million stars. The fire crackled merrily behind them. His hands were warm in hers.

There was nothing Lily Evans wanted or needed in that moment.

Lily was blissful and James was staring at her like she stared at the stars.

The world seemed so large and the opportunities seemed endless. Why, at seventeen years old, would Lily ever settle in with a boy when she had the world at her fingertips?

Then her feelings of fulfillment were shot by cold seeping through her bones despite the hot fire behind her. James' arms went rigid from the change in the air, almost like the cold was freezing his muscles one by one. They both sent each other sober looks just as someone on the outer edges of the fire screamed and someone else shot a red spell into the air, lighting up three dark figures in black cloaks.

They couldn't be human, as they were floating off the ground. Lily had never seen anything like them before and she stepped one foot closer only to feel the crippling cold sweep over her again. The air seemed still and desolate compared to what it had felt like before. One of the figures reached out a long calloused green hand and Lily clamped a hand over her mouth in horror.

"Dementors!"

It seemed like there was a split second in time where Lily imagined the Dementors moved closer with the added shrieks but when she blinked again they were still on the outskirts of the firelight. James let go of her hands simply so he could bring out his wand. Everyone else had their own wands out and the MacMillan twins shouted for everyone to dissaperate. The Dementors waited like wolves in the shadows, as if hoping one of the young witches would stumble forward or a wizard would bravely attack.

The students pulled each other towards the flames until Lily felt the flames licking into her back. People were dissaperating into thin air and others were screaming for their friends. James took one look at Lily regretfully before bounding through the crowd, shouting for his friend named Sirius. Lily spotted Mary's long brown braid beside Marlene's dirty blonde curls and shouted at them both.

The Dementors got closer and Lily suddenly felt like she'd never be happy again. Tears broke her eyes as Mary and Marlene raced to her side. Mary was sobbing on Marlene's resilient arm. Marlene simply looked like someone had just told her that her dog died. Lily reached out to wipe away Mary's tears, poor Mary, who hadn't even wanted to come to the bonfire. Lily and Marlene had begged her.

"We've got to go." Marlene told Lily, "But there's still kids here who are underage and can't disapparate."

"Take Mary." Lily said to Marlene, "I'll make sure the younger kids get out."

"The Dementors won't be frightened of the fire forever." Marlene forewarned.

"Mary needs to go." Lily said and Marlene nodded and hugged Mary before disappearing.

Lily took a deep breath and turned as the cold air seeped into her lungs. There were about ten people left on the beach. The Dementors had crept closer and Lily saw they were slowly reaching for the remaining party. Lily wondered why they were even here, when they were meant to be at Azkaban. She knew they were the creatures that guarded the wizarding prison—and now she knew why: they had crippling effects on the mind.

"What are you still doing here?" someone demanded roughly behind her, "Get out of here!"

Lily turned. James Potter was staring wildly down at her, Sirius Black at his side. They both had the arms of two younger kids who looked frightened beyond belief. Lily looked around and saw that now, they were the only ones left on the remote beach. James, as if irritated, shoved his crying kid at Sirius who disappeared as soon as both kids were in his clutches.

Lily scarcely was able to get out another word before James grabbed her hand. Suddenly the cold feeling in her bones was replaced by the feeling of being squeezed through a tube. James had dissaperated them. Lily held onto his hand like it was going to vanish.

They appeared in a field of long grasses directly behind a large house with wide windows that shone in moonlight. She didn't recognize the cloudy sky or the bright half moon. Even the air was no longer salty. Lily wobbled a bit on her feet and James grabbed her by her shoulders to steady her.

"Why didn't you leave?" he insisted, wiping her hair from her eyes, "You heard the twins, they told everyone to disapperate!"

Lily shook her head, "I wanted to see that everyone got off the beach."

James groaned and dropped her other hand, allowing her to put it on her face, which was sweaty. She stared at her feet, just breathing in and out. Warm summer air filtered through her lungs and she slowly started to feel more like herself. James kicked at a rock below his feet.

"I told Ernie he should've at least put up a few shield charms."

Lily swallowed and answered James, "How were the Macmillan's supposed to know that would happen?"

When she looked up at him she saw his face was unsympathetic, "There've been more and more Dementor sightings along the coast." He snapped, "Anyone who reads The Daily Prophet would know."

"No one wants to read about that shite." Lily snapped back, sitting down to try and relieve her spinning head, "God, my head hurts."

James suddenly looked guilty and sat down in the long grass beside her. His knees knocked against hers and she opened one eye to stare at him. His hair was a mess atop his head and she thought his lips looked thinner than normal. She definitely knew her headache was a combination of all the events leading up to her being in a field with James. She groaned as she reached for her wand, tucked inside of her shirt.

"I'd wait to dissaperate home."

Lily opened both of her eyes, "Where did you take me?"

James' voice relaxed and he joked, "The first place that popped into my head was my great grandmothers place so we're probably in Scotland somewhere."

Lily's mouth dropped open, "You took us all the way to Scotland?"

"Oops."

James was grinning senselessly enough that Lily had to laugh. Even if he had overshot London by a couple hundred kilos, she was still thankful for him. He leaned in and brushed her hair from her eyes again. She smiled at him, and pushed his hand away from her face lightheartedly.

"Hands to yourself, Potter." She teased.

James retracted his hand and used it to push his square frame glasses up his nose. She was appreciative that he'd grabbed her when he did. The dementors had not helped her think clearly. Not that he'd been helping her think any clearer before the Dementors. Lily's face faltered from playful to uncomfortable.

"About me kissing you…" she murmured senselessly.

James' echoing laugh filtered all the way down to her toes the moment he jumped up and offered her his hand.

"Come on," he told her, clearly eluding her words, "The sooner I get you home, the sooner I can make sure Sirius didn't splinch either of those fifth years we found huddling together."

Lily took his hand and her head only spun a little as she got to her feet. His hand was warm and his fingers danced against the inside of her palm as he waited for her to stop rocking on her feet.

"Dementors are pretty effective." Lily stammered.

"It's scary that they're leaving Azkaban and coming mainland." James said, "My mum says they must be breeding like rabbits thanks to all the fear in the air surrounding that new Dark Wizard who notions himself Grindlewald."

"I don't even feel that Firewhisky anymore." Lily added, "And I wish I did. Are dementors really that draining?"

"They feed off despair and teenage hormones." James joked halfheartedly, attempting to clear the air.

Lily shivered at the talk and glared at James, "Let's focus on getting home and not what you read in the Daily Prophet, yeah?"

James nodded tersely as she reached for her wand and he reached for his. They were both trying so hard not to shout their feelings at each other, she was sure of it. Lily wanted to apologize for kissing him but it was like he didn't want to hear it. She hoped that her actions didn't ruin their friendship.

They stood staring at each other under the cloudy sky for a few moments before she admitted, "Thanks for making sure everyone got off the beach."

James ruffled his hair with his free hand, "Mind doing me a favor?"

"Report this to the Ministry?"

He shook his head, "Nah, they don't care. People have been telling them for weeks..."

Lily's fingers tangled in her skirts, "What favor then?"

"Write me when you get home." He asked thoughtfully and whatever ice remained in her from the Dementors appearance faded entirely, "so I can be sure you got home safe."

James could be so charming sometimes.

"I would but I don't have an owl." Lily told him earnestly, "Sorry."

James frowned, "Oh." Then he perked up, "Mind if I take you home then?" when she didn't answer he added quietly, "Please, Lily?"

She softened and placed a hand on his arm, "I'll be fine James." At his less than convinced stare she continued, "Okay, fine, you can take me home if it'll make you feel better."

If she was being truthful, it made her feel better too. When he waved goodbye to her once she was leaning against her front door she caught his eye. His hazel eyes were blazing as he turned on the spot and disappeared from her line of vision.

James Potter was something special in her life and Lily just couldn't figure out why. So, she continued leaning against her front door for longer than she should have, wishing she was still high on life so that she could've remembered exactly why kissing him had seemed like such a good idea. She came up with nothing though and as she entered her parent's house she reasoned that either way, she was glad they were friends.

Lily's father was still up, "How was the party love?"

"Fine."

If her father noticed her blatant lie, he said nothing. The Evans' had long stopped trying to gather more information about the magical world from their magical inclined daughter. Lily just knew they wouldn't like all the danger she got into and they most certainly wouldn't understand her going to Wales and then to Scotland in the matter of a few hours. Her father would stress over Dementors and her mother would cry if Lily told her about the dark wizards. Petunia, Lily's sister, would never condone kissing someone like James. Lily's entire family would never understand how different Lily was after six years of magic flowing freely in her veins.

The more time Lily spent in her magical world, the less time Lily had for the world she was born into.

Next time:

"Let me be clear." He huffed, "I'm here on a favor for Professor Dumbledore. In no way should you expect to learn anything from me, understood?"

Lily's jaw dropped open and a row behind her James snorted quite loudly, deliberately making a scene.

"Got a problem boy?"

Professor Pidge didn't look at James when he spoke to him; his grey eyes were just suspiciously traveling back and forth across the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. If Lily were smart, she would've clamped a hand over James' mouth but he was too far away and as such, out of her reach. Beside Lily, Marlene looked tense but it was probably because Defense was her favorite class.

James grunted, "It's just one expects to learn something when coming to class."

"Name?" Professor Pidge insisted, his grey eyes still swiveling so much that Lily had to look away.

"James Potter."

Professor Pidge sniffed, "Here is your first lesson of the day Mr. Potter…disappointment."