The Realization
Disclaimer: Nothing (as in, is mine)
" " Speaking
' ' Thoughts
-------- new location
Takes place in the end of Naruto Manga Chapter 336, as Hidan thinks he killed Shikamaru. Note: Spoilers, obviously. The first part is almost to canon.
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Even in the ever-stoic Shikamaru shook in terror as he saw Hidan in his transformed state plunge his spear through his own chest. He closed his eyes in desperation, clutching his chest as he fell to his knees. Whether or not his plan worked, he could not tell as his entire torso was numb with anxiety. Hidan looked down at Shikamaru, now grovelling at in a kneeled position on the ground. He smirked and turned around, mumbling, "Well, Kakuzu should be finished by now". 'Huh', he thought, 'how the hell did that punk think he could win?' 'Sure, he may have pulled some fancy tricks outta his ass once in a while, but the strength difference...' It was similar to a mosquito trying to kill a bear by buzzing around and sucking all its blood out. No matter how hard it tries, it will just explode from too much bloodsucking.
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Meanwhile, Kakazu had thrown Kakashi to the ground with his tentacles and quickly thrust them into Kakashi. "Your heart is mine!" he screamed as he scrounged with his tentacles, looking for a heart or heart-shaped object to pull out and eat. Suddenly, a crushing pain exploded in his chest.
Kakazu: Ugh...impossible
Kakashi: It's exactly that impossibility. I took some of your blood and Shikimaru smeared it onto Hidans spear so now u lost another heart, bitch!
Kakazu: You've got alot of nerve to say that...
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Shikamaru, quickly taking advantage of his Ataksuki enemy's lapse in attention took out a knife and lunged in his direction, making a horizontal slash across his neck.
Hidan, furious: You son of a bitch! How the fuck arent you dead?
Shikamaru: I stole blood from your partner yadda yadda, what else you think you dipshit? If im not dead then obviously you got the wrong man's blood.
Shikamaru thought he could easily say this, as Hidan was injured an wouldnt be getting up anytime soon. He also knew he rigged this battlefield, so the game was his. However, Hidan wasn't an Akatsuki for nothing! In a flash, he dissappeared from where he was laying and appeared behind Shikamaru. Shikamaru barely managed to turn around as when saw a spear barreling down straight for his right pupil. In a last resort move, he did his finishing move: "Kageyose no Jutsu!". Immediately the shadows around Hidan attached onto him like a string and pulled all the nearby explosive tags together, hogtying him into a straightjacket position.
Hidan: Again, one of your stupid tricks! Get a life!
Shikamaru: When you killed my teacher, I didnt come here to play with your sorry ass...
Hidan: What are you going to do, kill me? You can't, remember?!?
Shikamaru, throwning a knife to a target and opening a crater underneath Hidan: nope, ill keep you here forever and make sure you never get out...this is gonna be your GRAVE! And every day ill come here to shit on your head!
Hidan: ...
Quietly, and with dignity, Shikamaru lit a cigarette and began to smoke it. He could even imagine Asuma's voice in the distance, saying, "you got him...shikamaru". Smiling, he tossed the fag into the bundle of explosive notes on Hidan.
When the resulting explosion cleared...he saw nothing there...as he expected. Strangely, on the ground, instead of bits of flesh and blood, he saw tiny splinters of wood everywhere on the ground. Curious, he stepped closer to look.
Voice: I like that hole, doesnt suit my tastes though, I think you would look better in it.
In shock, Shikamaru turned around to see Hidan standing behind him, looking as bored as if he had just spent a day in the Konoha ninja school.
Shikamaru: What the fuck! Are you trying to haunt me as a ghost or something?
Hidan: Um...no. I just used a simple Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body replacement technique). You know, as you were planning for the big things, I think you forgot everything else in between. Now, where were we...ahhh yes...time to die.
For the second time in Shikamaru's life, he watched in horror as a spear came barreling down towards him, aimed at his right pupil.
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A few minutes before, where Kakuzu was, Kakashi had managed to pull away from his grasp, and tried to run away, but was caught again by the lightning speed of the tentacles, as well as with Chouji and Ino. 'Fuck!' he thought, 'I might have to use the mangekyou sharingan. I know its over once I do that, but i really really dont want to...'
There was a flash, and Naruto's team appeared along with Sakura, Captain Yamato and Sai. Kakuzu, meanwhile was slightly annoyed that someone had cut his tentacles for the second time that day, and that he lost 2 hearts that same day. "Stop coming out like ants, geez" he said, "I only need 2 hearts to refill"
After a quick debriefing by Kakashi, Naruto proclaimed,"I can handle him". He stepped forward and glarred at the large tentacly creature known as Kakuzu. "Naruto, dont!" Kakashi said, "He's better than u think!"
Naruto: Shut up, and watch!
He began to power up his secret weapon: The rasenshuriken. It resembled something like a large shruiken with a ball in the middle.
Naruto: Lets get ready to roll!!
Kakuzu: A shruiken, with a ball in the middle where u hold? Can you get any less ergonomical?
Naruto: If this hit you, your a goner. muhaahahahaaaaa
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Just as Shikamaru was about to pee his pants, Sakura and Sai appeared and shoved Shikamaru away, deflecting him from the hit; however, Sai got scraped instead. Shikimaru, out of tricks, began to run like a pansy away from the battlefield, while Sakura ran after him screaming at him to get back.
Hidan, seeing his target had escaped, began to unleash his wrath on Sai. For a few long minutes, Sai struggled valiently against Hidan, but his speed proved to be insufficient. Eventually, in his exhaustion, he showed an opening and Hidan plunged his spear into it. 'NOOOOOOO' Shikamaru's mind screamed as he saw from a distance, 'This cant be happening! I was supposed to kill him and avenge my father! err...i mean teacher'. Sai fell over, dead.
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Back with Kakuzu, Naruto has just created his jutsu, and was waving it high in the air for everyone to see. In an instant, he lunged towards Kakuzu with all his clones. 'This is failproof' Thought naruto, 'I do it every time, it always works. All i need to do is run in first with clones, disguise myself, and then run in when hes not looking' So, thats exactly what he did. However, he failed to realize that in Kakuzu's many hundred years of fighting experience he had seen people like Naruto do that exact same move, he now labeled "The cannon fodder maneouver", many times before. He quickly molded a kunai from his tentacles, and seeing a rock on the ground that he had not seen 2 minutes ago, launched the kunai straight at it.
The result of the consequences was devestating. The tentacle kunai hit Naruto's (disguised as a rock) rasenshuriken right in the ball part and it exploded in Naruto's face. Chouji was instantly killed in the blast. Only captain yamato saw in coming and moved far enough in time to avoid most of it.
Meanwhile, Kakuzu was ROFLHFAO (rolling on floor laughing his fucking ass off). He then proceded to amble over to Chouji's dead corpse while everyone else was groaning in pain on the ground and began munching on his heart like a man on crack would munch on chips. Naruto had miraculously survived the blast because of his nine-tails chakra. At that moment, Shikamaru and Sakura appeared running towards the group, visibly shaken.
Captain Yamato: What happened? Did you kill him?
Sakura: Uhhh...well, not really. See, Sai died and Shikimaru ran so I tried to catch him...tears
Captain Yamato: Shit...this is over...we can't win this...
Kakashi: No way in hell! I'll finish this right now!
With that, he activated his Mangekyou Sharingan, and looked at kakuzu, who was now visibly happier now that he had 4 hearts and was only missing 1. 'You asshole' Kakashi's mind screamed.
Kakashi: That's it! I'm serious now!
Concentrating all his chakra, he looked Kakazu in the eye and began to form seals to trap him in Tsukiyomi (the alternative universe). Now Kakuzu was no dumb person, and he knew the sharingan relized on locking on to the other person's eye to work. So, instead, he produced a mirror from his back and held it at his eye level. 'SHIT' Kakashi thought as he saw himself looking back in the mirror. He tried to disable his spell in time, but it was too late; The last thing he felt was a jerking sensation as he was pulled into neverland... 'Meh at least its not all bad' he thought, 'I can read my little novels in peace now...hahahahahAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA' He pulled out his novel, poofed a chair outta nowhere, and began to read.
Meanwhile, Captain Yamato was looking at Kakashi, and saw him stand stiff, as if hyponotized. 'Shit...hes reading that crap in his fantasy world again...sigh' he thought. He looked around him. Kakuzu was talking avidly to Hidan, who had appeared nearby, about the new silk ataksuki cloak he had bought from his bounty money. Everyone else was either still on the ground, standing and drooling slightly (Kakashi), whimpering (Shikimaru), or crying (Sakura). He watched in disbelief as the two enemies they had been fighting intensely just moments before walked away, forgetting they were in a battle. Picking up things off the ground, he walked away, slowly and in defeat.
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In Naruto's mind, he had personally never been more shocked or humiliated until now. How could Kakuzu have seen through his moves so quickly! His clones were supposed to confuse the enemy...they always did! That's because no one uses shadow clones except for him. They were his signature move. And his rasenshuriken. He hadn't even got to pull it off...Sighing, he decided to put this sad event behind him and eat some ramen. That would cheer him up...it always did.
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In Shikamaru's mind, he was mentally kicking himself in the head. What a weak piece of crap he had been! In trying to avenge his teacher's death he had only gotten 2 more of his friends and teammates killed...Why couldnt the ending have been happy? He HAD to kill Hidan for killing Asuma...after all, he was a genius. he could pull anything off, right? All these thoughts blurred his mind as he trugded back to Konoha, barely registering where he was going. One day, he vowed to himself, one day, when he was better and more trained, he would kill Hidan, but that day, he knew, was not today.
The End.
Author's Note: I'm guessing youre all thinking this story is...not your everyday story. that's true, because i'm trying to illustrate a point here as well. All I have say is that, I think since Chapter 336, Naruto has become less and less realistic. After reading the fights with Kakuzu and Hidan, I was slightly put off. I mean, this is the Akatsuki were taking about here, one of the most powerful people in the world. I mean, theyve defeated alot of Hokages together between them. At least 4. Orochimaru defeated 2: the Hokage and the Kazekage. Sasori turned 1 into a freaking puppet, for god sakes. And the first Konoha ninja Kakuzu fought was the first Hokage (and presumably defeated otherwise he wouldnt be here).
And yet, Shikamaru can 1 on 1 them. And naruto runs in blatantly with the same type of trick twice and defeats Kakuzu. Now you may be thinking, how about the other 2 Akatsuki defeated, sasori and deidara. Well, with sasori, since he fought against his grandmother, one can assume, she was pretty damn good as well. And some people believe he let himself die like that, between his mother and father, that is an option as well. With diedara, well, its harder, but i guess you can say Kakashi's mangekyou sharingan helped with that as well. As well as the fact that like 5 other people were helping (naruto, gai, lee, neji, tenten).
So, Shikamaru should be around 16-17, naruto, the same age. Theyre no where near their prime years and already, by process of deduction, they are among the strongest people in the world. I say, theres no need to continue the anime in this case. Naruto is already the Hokage because hes one of the strongest in the world :P
Anyways, my rant is over. R&R if you want. But I'm trying to make a point as well.