Title: Jayne's Secret
Author: SnarkySweetness
Characters: Jayne and River, implied Rayne.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.

Set Post: Set before the BDM, during the comics, before Shepherd Book left for Haven.
Summary: Um… silly little Jayne and River piece to be honest.
Author's Note: I have no idea what inspired this, I think I was exhausted and feeling a little comedic. This was originally posted on in November of 2007.

Jayne's Secret

Jayne Cobb had a secret; a terrible, humiliating, unmanly secret, one he was afraid of having anyone find out; and hell if they didn't just have a psychic on board, just gorram lovely. He wasn't sure how she hadn't found out already, and why this had never occurred to him. He'd completely forgotten about it until today, when he'd had the strong desire to partake in his secret activity.

Maybe if he didn't think about it… but couldn't see just see him doing it? She saw everything. Damn it… she had to know. She'd use it against him, he knew it. Payback for all the times he'd called her Crazy. He'd never live this down.

Mal… he didn't even want to imagine the ridicule he'd face from him. The Doc… he'd get a sick pleasure of knowing this. Kaylee would probably think it was cute; gorram girl thought everything was ruttin' cute. Wash would think of a million jokes at once and somehow come up with the best one of the bunch, making everyone else more into his embarrassment. Zoë would get all quiet, trying not to laugh. Inara would be shocked. Shepard…who the hell knew with him? The girl- gorram girl, she'd have that all-knowing smirk on her lips, taunting him.

He had to hide these things, even if she did tell, if there was no proof, they'd all think she was just talking crazy like usual. That's what he'd do. No, he couldn't. It'd break his Ma's heart if she knew. He had, after all, learned this from her, and it was something special that they shared. Jayne especially loved to do it when he was stressed, but he hadn't in a good long while, and today had decided it was time for it.

Damn that girl. He'd wanted to enjoy this, and now he was all stressed out. What to do?

"I suggest making some socks. Nice warm ones. Pink perhaps, I like pink, sometimes. It gets cold at night and I don't like shoes much. Don't worry, I won't tell," she said with a smirk, standing at the door to his hatch, looking at him with his hands full of yarn and two knitting needles in his hands.

"And I won't tell. It'll be our little secret. It'll be nice knowing I can make you squirm… besides, I think it's cute. Remember… pink, fluffy socks," she said, happily closing the door, leaving him alone in his bunk.

Jayne sighed, looking around, realizing he had no pink yarn. He grabbed the blue. She'd have to deal with it. Gorram girl, she did know his damn secret, and if she told anyone, he'd have to hurt her, that was the only solution.

With that, Jayne Cobb proceeded to indulge in his secret hobby, making River her socks.

River stood outside smirking. Blue was her favorite color. Maybe there was hope for him after all.