(WARNING! Spoilers ahead)
Regret...
Shame...
Hatred...
Sadness...
All these are emotions are the ones that hurt the most, all of them can become weights on your shoulders.
Sometimes...Just sometimes you can escape the pain but other times...
The weight of these emotions can turn into nothing but chains
Chains that can pull you down and become heaver and heaver every single day
The weight of these chains can stop you from being your true self
The true self that just wants scream! Just wants to cry!
I want this pain to end
I want this hole in my heart to heal
I want that image of a smashing egg to disappear! I want to try and stop thinking on how that unborn child would of looked like now!
The more I think about it
The more the chains on my soul gets heaver...
They weigh me down so much...
What have I done?
What have I become?!
I have become a fake
A fake!
I hide behind smiles that are not truly mind
I hide behind words that I do not want to speak!
If I do not
Then...
Then people will start asking questions
They can't!
They can't ask about my murder!
They just can't!
I won't allow it
I will do anything to stop people from knowing the truth!
The truth of me killing a unborn child for the sake of my brother
The brother who held the same blood and DNA as me
I choice him over another child...Which lead me to kill
My own father would hate me for that!
He wouldn't of wanted this for me! He wouldn't of wanted this pain for me!
Father..
I'm so sorry
But I must do this
I must keep Sakuya safe
He means so much to me
I love him so much...
He looks like you father
He has your smile and your kindness (whenever he wishes to show it)
...
But I will keep my word to you
I will protect him
I will keep my dirty little secret to myself, he will not know
If he knew he'd lose everything!
My murder would be a waste
I wanted Sakuya to have a better life than me
To be a better man than me!
These damn chains my become heaver and heaver
I do not care...
I will keep helping a cold blooded murder to keep my secret...
I do not care anymore
Sure...
The innocent deaths hurt but...
But they are simply more chains that tie onto my soul.
I don't care...
I will carry each damn chain for Sakuya! I don't care how heavy they become as long I can keep him safe!
He is all that matters to me...
Him alone...
These chains can tie me down as much as they wish but I will never allow them to break me
No...
If I do that I would be failing Sakuya and my father...
I will not allow it...
So I...
I will keep on adding as much chains to my soul that I have to. I will carry that weight until I think it's time to end it.
These chains won't tie me down
I just won't allow it...
No...
Not ever...
If they do...
I will end it all...
I will allow these chains to break me and tie my soul to hell's earth.
I just don't care anymore...
The pain I feel now is enough for me
But I will end it all if it gets too much...
I will fail both Sakuya and my father
I just don't care..
Damn these chains
Damn my mistakes
Damn it all...
...Fin...