Barb's Fish and Dicks

Chapter 1

Josh walked through the door, breathing in the sickly sweet stench of freshly thawed fish. He climbed the ladder and slipped on a particularly greasy rung, falling over the railing and into the bleach sink, that Jazzy had filled solely with her own homemade bleach, which had a pH of 1. His skin burned and his clothes were immediately disintegrated by the acid.

Jazzy bathed her naked supervisor until the latter's skin was red and blistered and peeling off around his shriveled scrotum. She then lifted him onto the drying rack, one of the spikes slipping into his bleached white asshole, eliciting a startled yelp. She dried him off with a dirty rag, scraping the remainder of his burned skin off and dumping it into the gunk bucket.

Josh was now skinless and blind and didn't see Adrian come up behind him, wearing only boots and a skin-tight camouflage tank, wielding an ax. He chopped Josh up like he would chop wood in the backyard of his mountain cabin that no one knew the location of. He filled 12 cambros with chunks of Josh's flesh, forming the remainder into burger patties.

"10 Barb's burgers," he said and Brendan grilled the shit out of Josh's meat, slipping 4 patties into his pocket for the Shepherd's Pie he was planning on making later. He pulled a tub of nacho cheese out of his underwear and lathered himself in it. A naked Nath appeared out of nowhere and started licking the cheese off. When he was done, he squatted over the grease trap and pooped non-stop for 20 minutes.

"Can I get mayo to the line!" Yelled Adrian and 0.2 seconds later Dean appeared with the container.

"You know what to do," said Adrian. Dean nodded and immediately began applying the mayo to Adrian's arms, legs, and crotchal region with hot fish tongs as the lumbersexual growled in pleasure. Once full coverage had been achieved, Dean ran into the walk-in to cool down because he was overheating.

Rachel, who was currently eating pieces of raw fish and several oysters, stopped what she was doing, and started licking the warm runny mayo off Adrian's muscular birthday suit. She burped loudly and poured the rest of the cup of oysters down her throat, gurgling with a pitcher of ginger ale afterwards.

Adrian reached into the fryer, frying off his arm in the process, and pulled out his new fishing rod with the remaining bloody stump. He threw it at Rachel and the hook got lodged in her ass cheek. He reeled her in and made quick work of removing her clothes. and dusting her with flour. Nath, who had finally finished shitting, appeared and battered her up the way he would a fish. With Nigel and Jazzy's help, they hoisted Rachel headfirst into the fish fryer. She moaned in ecstasy as she was deep-fried alive. However, the fryer was too small to accommodate her whole body, so Jazzy used a plastic knife to slowly cut her in half. Unlike a piece of fish, it took 45 minutes to thoroughly fry her body.

Rachel and Josh's meat was separated onto staff plates and everyone went to the attic to eat. By this point everyone was naked. The attic was a 120 degree sauna and everyone's sweat created a giant sizzling puddle. Dean melted into the ground and was never seen again.

Nona pulled her vape out from her cleavage and started vaping, while Nigel lit a joint and Nath smoked a cigarette. Soon the entire boat was shrouded by smoke so thick, no one could see anyone else.

Patrick really had to pee but was too full of his coworkers' flesh to move, so he halfheartedly aimed at his empty tea cup and let go, a torrent of hot urine erupting from his trembling urethra. He was unaware that in all the chaos and thick fog he had confused the rim of his mug with the rim of Nona's gaping asshole, and was now peeing directly into it.

"I love you, Patrick," yelled Nona as she felt her friend's urine inside her.

Suddenly the small lake of sweat, piss and other bodily fluids soaked through the floorboards and the attic collapsed, causing everyone to plummet to the ground. Christina broke her arm in the fall and started sobbing hysterically. Nigel picked her up and placed her into the fry freezer.

Patrick fell through the grease trap (his body instantly coated in Nath's warm brown feces) and into the muddy wharf water, where he had sensual anal sex with a seal named Phred.

Chapter 2

During the fall several people had lost consciousness, including but not limited to Brendan. When he came to he realized he was sitting inside the chowder pot, his legs and crotch completely submerged in the freshly creamed goodness. He checked his pockets to make sure he still had some of Josh's meat safely stowed away and proceeded to ladling boiling chowder into his mouth with his hands. His esophagus was badly burned and he started coughing up blood.

Suddenly he heard someone screaming inside the fry freezer. It sounded like Christina so he made no attempts to help her and went back to pouring chowder down his bloody throat. When he reached the bottom of the pot he was shocked to find his legs were missing. They had been severed in the fall and sizzled down to stumps by the hot soup.

Brendan felt sad about his missing legs but was also very hot so he lifted himself out of the pot and dragged himself to the walk-in. He opened the door to find James mounting Sydney from behind. The grill daddy's 13-inch schlong was coated in chipotle mayo and Brendan was so turned on by this that he wasn't sad about his legs anymore.

Suddenly the door flew open. It was Adrian in full hunting apparel. He stalked his prey into the corner and pounced, ripping out their throats with his teeth. They bled out in under a minute. Adrian pulled out his hunting knife and gutted them like he would a deer, feasting on their warm juicy organs. When he had hollowed their bodies out, he curled up inside James and pulled Sydney and Brendan over him like a blanket. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Nona lit the fryer oil on fire. She dabbed while doing the splits as the whole boat was engulfed in flames. Everyone slowly burned to death.

The end.