Okay, so this isn't really a chapter 1 or anything, it's more for testing the waters. Besides, if I post this then maybe I'll be more motivated to work on the rest of it if it grabs enough people's interest.

I have a lot of it written already, like 17 pages in fact, but it's only about half way and I can't seem to get out of this writers block rut I've been in for WAY too fucking long.

It was the little things … the things no one truly noticed until it's far too late and you're left sobbing on the floor clutching his jacket that he had left at your house months back. The things you tell yourself to get over it; "He wasn't all that great anyway", "It was just a fling", "It wasn't really love" … "Life will never be as bright without him …"

They all start to fade together and you come to the one conclusion that you never wanted to see;

"I'm so empty without him."

Things like this, they can be triggered by the littlest things, something familiar usually. A gesture, a phrase, a glance, a smile, a hug–– the way you can feel their eyes on you even when you know there's no one there. … Things can hit you out of the blue; seeing the happy couple across the street talking, laughing, smiling, sharing a moment, a kiss, a treat, holding hands like they're the only ones in the world. And it all comes flooding back … and you can't help but cry harder, because deep down, you oh so desperately want it all back. Of course you would never say it. Well, not to the wrong people anyway … not out loud. Not to anyone.

So I started this way back when while I was trying to work on my other chapter stories ... that seem to just be sitting in my Google drive gathering dust. I just can't seem to find the drive or the time to work on either of them. (And for most people, myself included, when you hit a block, write something different, it really does help) But then I got way too perfectionist about this one and took a break because I was literally driving myself crazy over it. (Seriously, ask FrostyTrish, she'll tell you how legit off my rocker I was while writing this.) and then decided the other day that I should come back to it.

I've been writing a lot of KuroBas lately. I dunno why, but they're just really easy to write and it's kinda nice. Though, I keep leaning towards the darker themes ... Oh, WARNING for anyone who doesn't like character death, you probably shouldn't read this one (Unless you like to torture yourself). It's not final yet, and I haven't gotten far enough to writing that scene, but a character will die in this story. I, personally am a masochist when it comes to my fanfics, I'll go through phases where I want to find something super dark and depressing that will make me cry and wish to disappear into a black hole. Or something dark and dangerous with a lot of abuse. But then other times I'll just want something cute and fluffy. I suppose it's because my writing style lends itself to darker themes more easily than lighter ones ... anyway, I think I've rambled enough for now. If you like this, maybe I'll post the rest.

~ Evi