Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters. We own only our imaginations...and the characters' sex lives...
A/N: This is yet another follow-up to "Lockdown", story #5630119.
Jim Kirk was in his ready room, supposedly signing off on a bunch of red tape but actually reading his favorite fleet humor blog, when his comm chimed and his Yeoman's voice said, "Captain, I have two officers down here in Admin who want to speak to you. Privately."
"Who are they, Janice?"
"Lieutenant and Ensign Petroski, sir." Jim once again thanked the stars for Janice as she sent him official ID photos of the two officers; the moment they appeared on his screen he said to her, "Give me five minutes, I'll meet them in my ready room."
"Aye, sir."
Jim signed off. The Lieutenant was a man who had transferred to Enterprise two weeks ago, Steve Petroski, an astrophysicist. The Ensign was Shannon Petroski, formerly Shannon Flynn, a biologist. He remembered now that they had been married just before the lieutenant had come on board. He had met Shannon once under...well, unusual circumstances. He was pretty sure what this meeting would be about.
He cleared off his desk, ran a comb through his hair, straightened his tunic. He wanted to look like the responsible adult he was trying to become. The door chimed and he said, "Come in."
Two officers in Science blue uniforms entered, one a tall sandy-haired man with a slight stoop and broad shoulders, the other a petite blonde who was studiously not meeting the captain's eyes.
"Lieutenant and Ensign Petroski, sir," said the man and Jim nodded. Petroski went on, "We have a matter we'd like to discuss with you, sir, of a personal nature."
He had the air of someone who was uncomfortable, but determined. Jim waved them both over to the couch and they sat; he sat behind the desk. Maybe looking official would help, he thought. "What can I do for you two? And congratulations, by the way."
"Thank you, sir," murmured Shannon, still not looking at him.
"Thanks," said Steve. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"
"Of course. This whole conversation is off the record."
"Sir, I understand that my wife was involved in the - incident of three weeks ago, where an interstellar cloud affected the crew's mental state."
That description didn't do the event justice. It had been a shipwide love fest; the cloud had been looking for love, eventually "mating" with Enterprise herself, and causing the libido of everyone on board to break loose. Jim suppressed a smile and said, "Yes, I recall the incident. I was on the bridge at the time, and so were you, Ensign."
Finally Shannon looked up, blue eyes locking onto blue eyes like a tractor beam. It was a look of desperation. Jim thought he could guess why.
"However, Mr. Petroski, it's an overstatement to describe your wife as 'involved'. In fact, I observed her trying to stay out of the, um, activities taking place on the bridge at the time."
Petroski looked at him, then down at his wife, who looked firmly back at him with an I-told-you-so look. Bingo, thought Jim.
"He let me in here," said Shannon, "and told me how to lock the door so no one could get in, including himself. I told him I was saving myself and he helped me stay out of trouble. Really, Steve, I can't believe we're wasting the captain's time like this."
"Steve - " Jim came around to lean on the corner of his desk. "I know, since you weren't here, you can't imagine the effect that thing had on the crew. We were all a little nuts; we weren't responsible for our actions. You should have heard the interrogation I got from my CMO about my own indiscretions."
"As long as they didn't involve my wife," said Steve stubbornly.
Good grief, thought Jim, she's sitting right there, your beautiful, sexy little wife, and you're saying you don't believe her? Out loud he said, "I'm not sure I understand why you're having such a hard time believing it, Lieutenant."
"Go ahead," said Shannon to her husband. "Tell him what made you so wound up about it."
Steve shot her an irritated look but stuck to his guns.
"Well, sir," he said to Jim, "If Shannon told you about saving herself, then you know we were both virgins when we were married, two weeks ago."
"That was my understanding," said Jim carefully.
"There was - physical affection, but we didn't - we hadn't - "
"Had sex," supplied Jim helpfully. Holy cats, were adults still this weird about saying it?
"Well, of course, but I mean - we hadn't done anything else, either. If you know what I mean."
Jim stared at him for a minute, then at Shannon, whose face was studiously blank. Suddenly the neurons fired.
"Oh, you mean, like, other ways of pleasuring each other."
"Yes," said Steve, blushing furiously.
"Like masturbation. Or oral sex," said Jim. He was beginning to enjoy Steve's discomfort. Shannon's mouth was fighting off a smile, he could tell.
"Right," said Steve hastily.
"And this has what to do with the incident?" asked the captain.
"Well, we were married a few days afterward, and frankly, sir, my wife - on our honeymoon - apart from the sex, the actual sex - there were some things she offered to do that I didn't know she'd even heard of before. In bed."
"Ah," said Jim as though suddenly enlightened. "Like I just mentioned."
"Exactly, sir. And I thought perhaps, completely under the influence of course, maybe someone had, um, performed acts with her that encouraged such behavior. That she learned it while under lockdown on the bridge. Without her conscious cooperation, I mean."
Shannon managed to look injured. Jim was starting to feel like a marriage counselor, a job for which he was the least qualified man in the known universe. And he knew it.
"I can assure you," he said solemnly, "that your wife, who by the way is a biologist after all, made every effort to stay out of the sexual activities that took place on the bridge that day." True: her captain had entertained her here in his ready room - not, strictly speaking, on the bridge. "In fact, I never saw her out of uniform at all." Also true; after he'd come all over her uniform he'd loaned her his own. "I brought her in here, made her at home, told her she could lock the door. And I left and had other problems to attend to. The next time I saw her Dr. McCoy was looking after her." Another way of saying the good doctor had his face buried between Mrs. Petroski's legs during the final orgy.
Steve blinked. Shannon finally took pity on him.
"Honey, I told you," she said, taking his arm in hers. "I'm a scientist. I observed, I took a few mental notes. It all looked like so much fun, I kept thinking of things I'd like to try with you. Only with you, baby."
Her husband looked down at her and seemed to be convinced. He looked at Jim, who nodded in confirmation. Steve rose, holding Shannon's hand as she rose with him.
"Very well," said Steve, with what looked like relief in his eyes. "I appreciate your candor, sir, and I apologize for any doubts I may have entertained."
"No apology necessary, Lieutenant," said Jim. "Not to me, anyway." His eyes cut briefly over to Shannon and back to Steve, who nodded.
"You're right, sir. Shannon, can we talk about this later?"
"After my shift," said his wife with dignity. "Which begins right about now, I believe." She nodded to Jim and swept out the door. Jim turned to see Steve looking at the door that had closed behind her.
"I'm gonna owe her big time, aren't I," he said, almost to himself, then seemed to realize who was still there. "Sir."
"Yeah, I think you are," said Jim, giving Steve a manly slap on he shoulder. "But that's not all bad. Think of the fun you'll have making up."
"If it's anything like our honeymoon," mused the other man, "holy crap."
"She's that good?" Jim asked confidentially, man to man, and Steve broke out a little smile.
"Sir, you have no idea."
He went out the door and Jim waited until it closed before he collapsed laughing onto the couch - the very couch where little Shannon had learned and practiced those skills she'd used on her new husband - where Jim had showed them to her. He had an idea, all right. Steve Petroski was one lucky guy.
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