He can still hear the gun shots ringing in his ears. He can still feel his heart racing as he recounts everything he's ever done in his life and wishing he could have done things differently. How can he leave this life knowing all he's done is hurt the people he loves. His parents find him a disappointment. His friends hate him for what he did to Kurt. Kurt. He hurt him the most. He took his heart and ripped it into a million pieces.
As he walks out the McKinley building shaking harder than ever before, he looks around and isn't surprised to find the absence of his own parents. He sees all his friends hugging and crying with their moms and dads, watching them thank over and over again that their baby wasn't hurt or killed.
Blaine speed walks over to his car, itching to get home to be alone in his room to freely let go of his emotions. He puts the key into ignition and starts his car, he pulls out of the busy car park and makes his way home.
Pamela Anderson frantically rushes around her house looking for her shoes and coat trying desperately to make it to McKinley to see if Blaine is okay. Michael Anderson is searching for his keys to drive them over to the school, when a slam of the front door echoes throughout the otherwise empty house.
"Blaine...?" Pamela asks brokenly as she half runs into the foyer of their home.
Blaine is frozen to the spot, not expecting his parents to be home. He sees his mother stuck a few steps in front of him with tear tracks down her face, and his father, looking sadly at him, standing behind her.
His eyes flicker over to the staircase quickly debating whether he can make it up there without his parents grabbing him to talk. He internally argues with himself but running away wins out, and he makes a break for it running up the stairs.
"Blaine wait..." His father bolts after trying to grab his arm but he isn't fast enough and Blaine's bedroom door slams in his face. Pamela, who was right behind him tries to open said door but Blaine quickly locked it.
"Blaine please...talk to us..." She whispers desperately against the cold hardwood door. Her tears are back in full force, leaking down her face.
Blaine slides down to floor against his door with tears of his own making their way down his cheeks and falling onto his Cheerio's uniform. He doesn't want to talk to them about it. He doesn't want them to pretend to care, to hug him and say that they love him when really, they'd prefer he didn't exist. Who wants a gay son? A disappointment to the family?
Blaine picks himself up from the floor and makes his way over to his chest of drawers. He goes to the bottom one sliding it open slowly. He only goes in here when he's really down and depressed. It's a place of true comfort for him.
It's Kurt's drawer.
When they were together, Blaine reserved the bottom drawer for some of Kurt's clothes for when he stayed over. When Kurt moved to New York he let Blaine keep his things for when he missed him, and when they broke up Blaine never had the heart to throw them away.
He pulls out one of his own t-shirts and pulls over Kurt's McKinley hoodie over the top. Slipping on Kurt's navy silk pyjama pants he brings his arms securely around himself breathing in the familiar scent of his love. It's then that he breaks.
He lies down on his bed curling in on himself. The tears are back in full swing, his chest heaving heart breaking sobs that echo around his dark room. He doesn't care if his parents can hear him, they already think he's pathetic might as well add to the list of things they hate about him.
Outside, Pamela and Michael listen to their son cry his heart out, can hear the desperation in his sobs. They feel helpless out here with no way in, they sit there on the floor outside his door hoping that their little boy will be okay.
"Michael..." She whispers shaking her head slightly, cringing when Blaine lets out a particular harsh cry.
They sit facing each other, both looking on at the door with a type of devastation only a parent can hold. It physically hurts to see your child go through such emotional trauma to the point where they feel like the tears will never stop. It hurts that they can't comfort him because he doesn't want them to comfort him, they lost their place to do so when they started ignoring him after he came out to them.
It was hard for Pamela. A part of her wanted to accept Blaine with open arms and say that she'll love him no matter what, but she knew her husband wouldn't be able to do that. She grew up the same as him, in a respectable Christian home where homosexuality is a sin, and the wife must support and follow their husband regardless of their own feelings. He's in charge, he pays the bills, it's your responsibility to dote after him and clean the house. But what happens when your child, your own child, comes to you so hopeful and scared admitting to his true self and all you can do is sit there with a stony expression. Leaving him there broken and sad.
After the Sadie Hawkins dance she felt similar then to as she feels right now. She saw his baby boy beaten just because he had the courage to be himself even after he was so horribly rejected by his own parents. He was so brave. Pamela doesn't even think she's met someone as brave as her own son.
She vows from this day one she'll never let him go again. Never let him feel unloved by her again. Husband be damned. She loves him and she wants to see him grow up and marry someone and have her grand kids. She doesn't want to miss a second of it, because after today she could've lost it all.
Michael Anderson looks at his wife and sees the most sadness she's ever expressed and he knows he's part of the reason for it. He not only couldn't accept Blaine being gay, he made him feel worse about it just because of his own feelings. He was the one who gave him a hard time, he didn't just ignore him like his wife, he threw the slurs, and he put him down when he was at his lowest.
He was the one who hurt him.
He closes his eyes tightly and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and fore finger. It wasn't just emotional abuse. He knows that. Blaine was good at putting on a front and applying the make up over the dark marks his fist would leave behind. Michael tended to leave the beating to places it couldn't be seen but sometimes he got so angry at himself for being this way towards his son that it boils over and he takes it out on him. He knows he shouldn't and if Pam knew she'll leave him. Leave him for good, and he can't live without her.
As he thinks about today's events he considers all the horrifying possibilities. What if the shooter decided the fag in the Cheerio's uniform had to go? They want to kill him out of a group of his kids because he freely chooses to love a boy, and honestly what is wrong with that? What is so wrong with Blaine finding his true happiness? Michael, for the first time in decades, lets a tear fall freely down his face.
He knows he doesn't deserve someone like Blaine, who is so loving and compassionate and talented, as a son. He can sing better than anyone he knows, he can box like a true fighter, although sadly, so he can defend himself from the small minded bullies, and he can love. Love like no other. He doesn't care who looked or who threw whatever insults his way when he took a boys hand and walked down the hallways or through the mall.
That's a true man. He's not afraid to be himself and that's something to admire.
Michael has never felt worse. He's not a man. He's a coward. Only a coward hits his son.
He vows from this day on to be there for him in any way he'll let him. He doesn't deserve his forgiveness, but he'll do anything in his power to get Blaine to look at him as his father again, not another bully. After the first hit he could never take it back, the emotional scars will last forever, but he can try and make it up to him for it.
Starting right now.
"I'll be right back...I need to make a phone call…" Michael picks himself up from the ground, but before he leaves he sees his wife giving him a disapproving look, probably assuming it's a business call. He never wants to see that look put towards him from his wife again. He needs to fix it.
He leaves to go into their bedroom across the hall and dials the number of the man who is more of a father to his son than himself.
"Burt Hummel speaking" His voice is a little shaky but was hardly heard through the gruffness that naturally comes with it.
"Hi ehh...Mr Hummel its Michael. Michael Anderson. Blaine's father" There was a crack of emotion as he said the word 'father' because he knows he hasn't earned that title.
"I know who you are" There's a coldness to his statement, obviously Burt knows about the state of his and Blaine's relationship, Blaine needs a real father and Burt was that for him. Michael's actually grateful he could step in when Michael couldn't open his eyes and mind. "Is Blaine okay...? I mean, I know no one got hurt, but mentally. He's a tough kid but anyone would be going outta their mind after today"
Michael nearly breaks knowing that no, Blaine is not okay, he's crying harder than the time that boy pushed him to the ground and stole his bow tie in kindergarten just because bow ties are apparently girly. "Ehh honestly...he's not...he's really not..." Burt can hear the desperation in his, knowing he must be crying " I don't know what to do, Burt...he's locked himself in his room and he won't let me or Pamela in and...I can hear him...he's crying and he sounds so broken...and there nothing I can do. Burt please...help me..."
Burt knows what it's like to be a parent and if it were Kurt in that school he knows he would've torn down every wall and smashed every window just to get to him. No one hurts his little boy if he can't help it.
He loves Blaine like he's his own son and he knows that Blaine and Kurt aren't together anymore, and he knows that that's Blaine's fault, but you can't just stop caring or stop being a parent. He knows who Blaine's needs and it isn't him nor his parents. "Look, Mr Anderson, I know how you feel alright, but I don't think it's me he needs, and on some level you know that too..."
Michael does. He knows who Blaine needs. The only person who loves him for who he truly is and knows how to comfort him best.
He needs Kurt.
"I know...I know. Is Kurt in Lima at all? Is he still in New York...? Whatever it takes, no matter what it costs I'll pay for his flight here...my son needs him..." Michael is not ashamed to beg for his son, he needs him to be okay and Kurt is the one who will make that happen.
"Actually he's on his way. As soon as he heard he was on the first flight back here...he truly loves your son Mr Anderson..." Burt knows this is risky ground but he can't let Blaine live in a hateful environment any longer. He would take Blaine in himself if it weren't for his stubbornness.
Michael breathes heavily through the receiver and whispers quietly "I know...and i am so thankful for that fact"
"I'll tell Kurt to go straight to your house and I'll hopefully see Blaine soon, give him a big hug. You know, sometimes you can't know their truly okay until you seem em' for yourself"
"Yeah...tell Kurt to just walk in, the doors open...me and my wife don't want to leave him alone...we don't want him to do anything...he'll regret..." Michael says sadly knowing if he did do something, he would be a big part of the reason why.
Burt clears his throat, trying to keep too much emotion pour into his voice "Yeah...I get it..." He wipes a few stray tears from his face "Anyway, thank you for calling"
"No Burt, thank you" Burt knows that statement is heavier than just the phone call.
Burt ends the call and dials the familiar number of his son.
Michael makes his way back to his wife and son. He hears the gut wrenching sobs through the thick walls of Blaine's room but is quickly distracted from him by his wife's own quiet sobs.
"Oh honey..." Michael sits back down on the ground and pulls his wife close to his chest, tucking her head under his chin. She cries almost silently into his shirt, staining it with her hot salty tears.
"M-Michael t-t-there's nothing we can do...an-and our b-b-baby's hurting..." She buries her face once more and her shoulders shake with the effort not to cry out with devastation.
Michael looks down at his wife, the only women who could tolerate him, and feels that same overwhelming sadness, that paternal pang, at the sounds of his son's pain.
"I uhhh called Burt...Kurt is on his way here...I think...I think this is what he needs"
Pamela looks up at the same hazel eyes of his son, which are normally filled with so much anger and hate, and sees love, hesitation, guilt, and the same fear she saw when he held Blaine and Cooper for the first time. He was so scared he would fail as a father and honestly, he really has. She smiles at him knowing that he's trying and that's all she could ask him to do.
"Thank you...just...thank you..." She brings her lips to his and they share the most loving kiss since they were young and stupidly in love. She hasn't felt like this in so long "I love you"
Michael feels the tears pushing at his eyes again but blinks them back and says with the most love he can muster "I love you too" He pulls her close to his chest once again and buries his face in her long brown curled hair, breathing in deeply to try and find some form of comfort.
All they can do is wait.