Authors Note: Do not take this story seriously. That is all.
Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. Do any of you remember that war that happened ten years ago. Maybe you do, but let me tell you the story
Lelouch Vi Britannia and Light Yagami were standing in a pure white room together, facing each other and staring each other in the eyes. Both of them seemed to be distressed by their respective deaths but nether wanted to admit it at the cost of their pride. Lelouch put his hand on his forehead and chuckled.
"So you terrorized the planet, successfully creating a cult of followers that worshiped you as a deity known as Kira. You killed only criminals and you tried to make the world a better place." Lelouch said. "I'm getting this all right, correct."
"I guess you could say that." Light responded. "Though I am kind of irked that Ryuk lied to me about the afterlife, well, unless Mu is just a white room with no borders."
"It's very possible." Lelouch responded. "Though I took over the world and ruled as an Emperor, feared by all, loved by only one woman, my sister."
Light looked at him in a judging way.
"Not like that you pervert." Lelouche responded. "She was the only person to actually care for me in the end, well her and C.C."
Light laughed a bit. "Yeah." He said. "I know how that feels, though I could actually have sex with the person that cared for me, my wife. Shot by one of my friends and then left to die by Ryuk. At least I got to go out like a boss."
Lelouch looked at him angrily. "I had a pretty boss death as well. I was on top of a giant parade float, I had my sister chained up and my friend ran up and stabbed my in the heart, it was badass."
Light looked at Lelouch judgingly again.
"What are you looking at me like that for?" Lelouch asked, he thought for a couple seconds. "She was on the execution table, not in any sort of fetish. Jeez."
Light smiled. "Whatever floats your boat." He said.
Lelouch became enraged. "I've had it with your judging attitude. I challenge you to a staring contest, to be judged and commentated on by Morgan Freeman and Samuel L. Jackson." He yelled.
Suddenly a table protruded out of the ground near them and Light jumped. Soon after, Morgan Freeman and Samuel L. Jackson descended from the top of the room. They both looked at Light and Lelouch.
"Well go on." Morgan Freeman said. "We were summoned here by the divine power of Lelouch Vi Britannia. You better have the contests."
"This is definitely not Mu." Light said.
"I guess no." Lelouch said.
"And you're god." Light said.
"I guess so." Lelouch said.
Lelouch looked at Light. "So should we do this now."
"I guess so." Light said. They were both a bit disoriented by what had just happened to them.
Lelouch and Light got into battle positions and started to look at each other.
Morgan Freeman put up his hand to stop them. "Before we start, me and Samuel here are going to tell you the rules of this contest."
"Yeah." Samuel L. Jackson said. "The first rule is no looking away for more than half a second."
"The second rule is that you cannot blink, but that shouldn't be hard, you are dead. So don't do it out of habit." Morgan Freeman said.
"Third Rule is, no laughing, it will break what precious concentration you have." Samuel L. Jackson continued.
"Do you have an understanding of the rules?" Morgan Freeman asked.
Both Light and Lelouch nodded.
Samuel L. Jackson raised his hand. "Then let the lolis loose." He yelled.
Lelouch and Light looked at each other. "What?" they both said.
"Say what?" Samuel L. Jackson said.
Both Lelouch and Light looked at Samuel L. Jackson. "What?" they asked.
"Say what one more mother fuckin' time." Samuel L. Jackson yelled.
Both Lelouch and Light turned to each other and didn't say anything. Suddenly the walls of the world opened up and all the main characters of Nichijou, Rena Ryuguu, Rika Furude, Satoko Houju, Rebbeca Miyamoto, all the main characters of Lucky Star, all the main characters of K-on, and 10 Ushio Furukawas all ran out of the cages.
"Okay." Lelouch said.
"Now start the staring contest." Samuel L. Jackson yelled.
Lelouch and Light started to stare at each other and growl furiously. The song Power by Kanye West started to play in the background.
"This looks like it is going to be a long one." Morgan Freeman started, "In one corner we have Light Yagami, the man who terrorized human beings into not committing a crime by writing their names in the death note, a mysterious book that kills whoever's name is written in it. In the other corner we have the teenage boy who took over the world and ruled more strict than Joseph Stalin just to give it all up to achieve true communism, Lelouch Vi Britannia."
"I agree completely." Samuel L. Jackson said. "But we already have Konata clinging to Light's ankle and Light with a look saying something like 'I have had it with these mother fuckin' lolis on this mother fuckin' playing field."
Lelouch and Light looked equality irked at the Lolis dancing around them. They started to growl until they got to a yell.
"It looks as if both of them are equally as invested into this contest of wits and concentration." Morgan Freeman said. "They have started yelling."
All of a sudden both Lelouch and Light's hair turned yellow and started to fly up. There were 2 pulses of power and they had reached the rank of Super Sayan 3. They stopped and stared at each other.
"Well it looks like our work here is done." Morgan Freeman said as he leaned toward Samuel L. Jackson.
"Yup." Samuel L. Jackson responded.
Morgan Freeman and Samuel L. Jackson Ascended into the sky and waved at Lelouch and Light.
Talking suddenly came from the darkness. "Good Job you two." It was a british voice belonging to a man. Dr. Frank N. Furter suddenly walked out of the darkness. "But can you contend with my wrath." He did a pelvic thrust and his afro went golden. "For I am also Super Sayan."
Morgan Freeman descend from the sky again. "I see you have returned to fight me." He said. "I may not be a Super Sayan, but I am god."
Morgan Freeman flew over to Dr. Frank N. Furter and grabbed him. They flew up and into the heavens for their own fight.
"My death was way more badass!" Light yelled.
"No it wasn't." Lelouch yelled. "And you were making assumptions about me and my sister."
Konata kept on holding onto Light's ankle. "All of my wet dreams of come true." She said. "Now all I need to happen is for Lelouch and Light to make out."
Lelouch and Light started to fly into the air but were interrupted Red Foo fell on them. They all landed and Red Foo started to dance with the Lolis.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Light asked.
"The party rock apocalypse has been going on for a while now." Red Foo said. "Don't listen to the song or you'll turn into one of them."
All of a sudden Rock Party Anthem started to play in the background and the Lolis all started to dance to the song.
"Just follow my lead." Red Foo said. "They won't notice if you just dance."
Light and Lelouche complied to the warning. They started to dance until the Lolis all stepped outside and danced their own separate ways.
Lelouch and Light suddenly turned back into humans.
"So what is going on here?" Light asked after all the Lolis had left.
"They opened a portal to the anime world back there didn't they." Red Foo asked.
"Probably." Lelouch said. "It wouldn't surprise me. Morgan Freeman is apparently god."
"Well there's another side to the war now then." Red Foo said.
"So what's happening?" Light said.
Red Foo frowned. "Well." He said, "there is a war going on now between the Beliebers, the Party Rockers, and the Head Bangers."
Lelouch looked at him. "So what do you need us to do?" He asked.
"Help the party rockers or form your own group and ally with us." Red Foo said.
Konata was still attached to Light's leg. "So happy." She said.
Red Foo started to leave, dancing his way out, but turned back. "I forgot one thing, there has been an uprising of a group of people called the Bro Army. All fans of a guy named Pewdiepie on youtube." He turned back and started to dance away again.
Lelouch and Light went their separate ways and started to raise their own armies of fan girls. A month later, all the anime characters had poured into this world and Konata was Light's head lieutenant, still clinging to his ankle.
They had started to go to war with the Beliebers and the Bro Army had sided with them at this point. Justin Bieber stood on top of a podium and started to sing. Lelouch shot him and the Beliebers disbanded.
After the Beliebers disbanded and there was a period of slight piece. But everything changed when the bro army attacked. Five years passed and the Bro Army is nearing victory in the war and Light and Lelouch found the only man who could take down the Bro Army, Little Kuriboh. He was a master of ruining fandoms but he had much to learn until he could take on the Fire Nation, I mean Bro Army.
Another two years pasted and he was ready to take on the super power known as PewDiePie. LittleKuriboh lead the rebellion and got to the front line againt PewDiePie. Who turned out to be none other than, David Bowie.
David Bowie brought out his super powered flaming sword and started to fight with LittleKuriboh's references.
"This is for making fun of me so many times." David Bowie said.
"You're not the real David Bowie!" LittleKuriboh yelled out.
"You are correct." David Bowie snapped his fingers and turned into Faulerro. "I am your arch rival on youtube."
LittleKuriboh and Faulerro ran at each other and yelled. "There can only be one!"
Their swords clashed but they were stopped by Sailor Saturn.
"Stop this foolish fighting." Saturn said. She turned her glaive and world was destroyed and remade and she was reborn as an infant.
Light and Lelouch picked up the child and raised her as their own.
And that is the honest to god truth.