Disclaimer: no profit was made with this story, which was written for the sshgexchange of summer 2007.
Many thanks to my beta, Dacian Goddess, for her time.
The Drugs And The Potion
MUGGLE DRUG USE INCREASES IN WIZARDING YOUTH
Another victim of heroin abuse was found yesterday between two rubbish bins in Knockturn Alley. The Minister declared that all signs regarding Muggle drug use were alarming.
"Our young people have been most traumatized by the events of the last war against You-Know-Who. Most of them have witnessed horrors for which they weren't prepared during the Hogwarts battle two years ago. St Mungo's healers are currently being trained to help victims of trauma cope, and hopefully, we'll be rid of this scourge soon."
Hermione Granger had just had enough time to read that titbit of information in the Daily Prophet before she had to dash out of her dingy flat. She didn't want to be late at work: it would mean an immediate dismissal for her, and she couldn't afford to lose the money. She couldn't Apparate either because she was working in a Muggle pharmacy situated in a totally Muggle environment, so while she was taken to her destination by the bus, she dreamt of what her life would be when she would have enough money to open her own lawyer practice; the first professional wizarding lawyer practice.
"That should do it."
With satisfaction, Severus Snape added lead, instead of mercury, to the potion bubbling in the cauldron hung in the fireplace of his kitchen. He had introduced changes in the original recipe for Polyjuice, both to the ingredients themselves and to their proportion in the potion. Now, he just had to wait for a month and he would be able to test what he believed to be a twenty-four hour Polyjuice. So content he felt that he decided he would leave his home in Spinner's End for a few hours and treat himself to a nice meal in town. Such an unusual state of mind was the only logical explanation for why he hadn't heard the old man currently sitting in his old armchair come into his house, more precisely in his sitting room. He was slightly startled at the sight of the intruder, and so he nearly bumped into the doorframe.
"Headmaster! What is it that cannot wait until September?"
Albus Dumbledore, clad in a purple cloak and an emerald robe—quite a contrast with Severus' black attire and his dark sitting room—rose and smiled congenially at his Potions master.
"Good morning, Severus. Nothing too serious, I assure you. I'm sorry to intrude on your privacy, but you wouldn't answer your door, and I really needed to ask you if you have reconsidered your position about your role during the prevention campaign."
"You very well know my answer will remain 'no'."
"Ah, pity. I will have to look for someone else to fill in the position." Dumbledore's face showed the most endearing expression of annoyance Severus had ever seen. Why would he deprive himself of such simple pleasures in life?
"You do that and leave me to my own devices." There. His tone was final. And he hadn't offered the other man to take back his seat in the hopes of seeing his backside—no, not like that—very soon. Ah, but there's something to be said about old men and their resilience; for Albus Dumbledore showed no sign of intending to leave any time soon.
"Speaking of devices, how is that project of yours going?" he asked in a pleasant tone. "I recall you saying to Horace that you were on the verge of a breakthrough before the holidays."
Stiffly, Severus answered, "I think I'll be able to test it at the beginning of September."
"I hope you'll be able to market it afterward, Severus. Your hard work should be recognised and rewarded." Severus couldn't decipher if the Headmaster's statement was a threat or not. "I promised Sybil I would see her just after lunch; it's time for me to leave. Good bye, Severus."
"Good bye, Headmaster."
Severus wondered what all that had been about, but decided not to bother himself with it. If Dumbledore had a plan in the making, he'd know soon enough, which would probably be too soon. At any rate, he wouldn't let him spoil his self-granted meal at the local pub.
A brown owl hovered in front of Hermione just as she reached the pharmacy door. She snatched the parchment attached to the owl's leg, put it in her pocket and quickly got into the building.
"Granger! This is not the time to dawdle! A delivery is waiting to be shelved. Get to work."
Her boss had hardly finished his customary bellowing greeting to her, and she was already opening the first cardboard box. But as soon as he had his back turned, she pulled her letter out and read it.
Miss Granger,
I was hoping I could meet you at your flat tonight after your work. I will be on your landing at eight.
I hope to find you as well as Harry told me you were.
Until then,
Albus Dumbledore.
The Headmaster was going to visit her tonight? What could that mean? Was a new Dark Lord rising already? Or did he want to propose her a teaching position? Whatever he would tell her, she hoped it would bring a welcome change in her current life.
Hermione had met Dumbledore—but how did he know her schedule anyway? —as planned. She welcomed him inside her flat, like the polite woman she always was, invited him to share a drink and a few cocktail snacks in her small, overcrowded-with-books living room, and listened to him describe the goings-on at Hogwarts. However, he must have sensed her tiredness because before long, he came to the point.
"Miss Granger, I have a favour to ask of you."
"Oh, what would that be?" she answered enthusiastically. She was going to get a bit of excitement in her life!
"You have probably read about the drug problem among young people since the war ended?"
She nodded.
"I have decided that a prevention campaign at the school wouldn't be amiss. It has not come to the public's knowledge that five students have suffered from drug overdoses last year. Madam Pomfrey was able to take care of them efficiently, but I felt, and most of the teachers as well, that something ought to be done." Hermione was listening to him attentively. He went on, "A part of this prevention campaign will be an event at the very beginning of the school year on September 5th. I would like for all the students to have a lecture on the effects of Muggle drugs that day. None of the teachers have the necessary qualifications for this, but Minerva suggested to me that you could do it. You're a Muggle-born who still has roots in the Muggle world, and you have the proper age and experience to understand what our students are going through."
This was not as exciting as going after another Dark Lord, but the offer was tempting all the same. That would mean one day at Hogwarts, far from her irritating boss and picky customers. A thought occurred to her then. "Headmaster, what day of the week is September 5th?"
"A Friday, Miss Granger."
Her face fell. "I'm afraid I have to decline. It's a working day, and I can't skive off. My boss has been hoping for a reason to sack me since June."
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at her statement. "Did you hex a customer who manhandled the merchandise?"
Hermione blushed and averted her eyes at the reminder of the reason why she'd been fired from Flourish and Blotts a few months before. She nevertheless couldn't hold her tongue in check and spilled the truth about her situation.
"No, nothing like that. It's just that … he does things the wrong way. When I arrived at the pharmacy, I tried to give him some hints to increase his sales, make the pharmacy more agreeable to the customers. He told me that he's been in business since before I was born and to mind my own business instead of his. He didn't dare fire me right away back then, because he hired me as a favour to my parents, but he's been looking for a pretext to do it ever since."
"Pardon my curiosity, Miss Granger, but why didn't you search for a job in the wizarding world?"
"Er, that is to say, I, erm, might have displayed my ability to jinx a customer a bit too much. No one would hire me after that," she said sheepishly.
Dumbledore smiled as if she had nothing to be embarrassed about. "I think I have a solution for your predicament. You will be able to come to Hogwarts and not lose your job. No, young lady," he said when she gave indication that she would speak, "don't ask."
Hermione saw no reason to refuse the Headmaster's proposal, so great was her faith in his abilities to achieve his goals without any harm done to anyone.
When he left, Dumbledore blessed the long, white beards that helped cunning Headmasters hide predatory smiles.
What does he want this time/i "Headmaster, what a surprise. I didn't expect you to visit me twice in two days." i At least, he had the decency to knock at the door today. He must have feared for his beard.
Severus stepped aside and let Dumbledore in.
"Severus," the old man said while sitting down, "I have found someone for the prevention campaign; I wanted to let you know."
Severus raised an eyebrow while setting in his faded sofa. "Couldn't an owl have delivered your message just as efficiently?"
Dumbledore chuckled. "No, Severus, it couldn't. You see, I've found a volunteer for the job, but she has conditions. You could help her make sure she would be able to come to Hogwarts. It would be beneficial for the both of you."
"What would these conditions be? How would this be beneficial to me?" It felt like a trap, but a very tempting one.
"She can't leave her current job for a single day or she will lose it. I thought you could test your extended Polyjuice by taking her place at her job, while she does what you refuse to do. I am offering you a full day to test your potion in real conditions."
The Headmaster certainly knew which buttons to push. To test his potion in the field for a full day? Severus tapped his lips with his index finger, a sure sign that he was considering the offer.
"Would I be able to hold her job?"
"Assuredly. After all, she works with remedies."
That was promising, though Severus couldn't recall if he had ever seen a woman working in the Apothecary.
"I accept."
"Good. I'll owl Miss Granger with the news."
Intriguing. "Granger? Is she working at Slug & Jiggers?"
"Not at all. She's currently employed in a Muggle pharmacy."
Severus saw red. "What? You expect me to work in a Muggle pharmacy?" he exclaimed.
"I don't see why that would be a problem, Severus. I'm sure you'll manage." Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling with benevolence and … trust.
Severus tried not to sound like whining. "But I don't know anything about Muggle remedies!"
"For all I know, she's simply stacking and selling them. Besides, you've given your word. You. Have. Accepted."
Severus resisted the temptation to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Instead, he looked at the Headmaster right in the eyes. "All right, I will do it; for the potion only."
Dumbledore beamed. "I'm sure that you will success. I will write Miss Granger about the arrangement, and will let the both of you work out the details."
They cut the pleasantries short after that, and Dumbledore left for Hogwarts.
Miss Granger,
I will meet with you Sunday afternoon about the Muggle drug prevention campaign at Hogwarts. I will be at your flat at 3 p.m.
Severus Snape.
Short and utilitarian. Hermione snorted to herself. I'm sure he regrets every inch of parchment he's used to write to me. I wonder why I have to meet Snape for the campaign. I suppose I'll see on Sunday.
"Do come in, Professor. You're as punctual as the speaking clock."
Severus didn't like being compared to a disembodied voice; it was demeaning to his best feature. "Must I deduce from your statement that you would rather that I tell the time than read the directory?" he purred while stepping into her flat.
Hermione's eyes widened. She knew the soft, silky tones of his voice, of course, but she'd never heard before the particular quality he'd just put into it. She nearly answered, "Whatever." Instead, she said, "Would you like some tea? I was going to help myself some."
"Yes, please." He took a seat in the only available place on her sofa, between piles of Wizarding Code—from volume one to volume eleven. He let her serve tea and biscuits before he tackled the matter at hand.
"I am to understand that you are going to take my place at Hogwarts on September 5th?"
She frowned. "Take your place? I'm just going to give a lecture about Muggle drugs."
"That's what I meant. I was supposed to be the one giving the lecture, but I don't know much about Muggle drugs, nor do I have the time to research them. That's why the Headmaster asked you to do it. I am here to work out with you the details of my one-day replacement."
Her frown deepened. "Why would you want to do that? I just need a room and seats for the audience. There's nothing special in giving a lecture."
"Those are not the kind of details we must speak of, Miss Granger," he snapped. "We must determine how you won't lose your job. In fact, Dumbledore has suggested a solution to your situation, but your whole cooperation is needed."
She sighed. "I suppose that, if Dumbledore has suggested it, we'd best implement it."
"Don't you want to know what it is about before agreeing?"
"I promised Professor Dumbledore to be at Hogwarts on September 5th, and he promised me he would find a way to prevent me from losing my job. And I trust him."
He smirked. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course," she huffed. What kind of a question was that?
"Good; because I'm going to take your place that day."
She gaped, which served to show her pink tongue behind her small—small? —teeth. "How? They'll never believe … you don't look like me," she spluttered. The tea in her cup threatened to spill onto her lap.
His smirk widened to such proportions that it could nearly be called smiling. "What if I looked like you?"
She caught on immediately. "Polyjuice? That could work." Her face became suspicious. "What advantages would the situation hold for you?"
"I shall use the opportunity to test an extended version of Polyjuice, actually a twenty-four hour Polyjuice that I've been creating for the last two years." He was exuding pride quite palpably—much like other individuals exuded sweat and/or cheap perfume.
Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really? But I thought you weren't teaching Potions anymore?"
"I don't, but I'm still interested in working in this field."
And it is very profitable, she thought. "This plan seems all right to me. I'd just like for you to specify that I've taken a part in your experiment with this potion. I want to be a lawyer, and this kind of advertising would no doubt be helpful, especially as you're going to use my body."
Ah, yes, working with an ex-Death Eater on a questionable project will certainly help a lawyer in finding customers. "Miss Granger, I think we have an agreement. To quell any anxiety you might feel about me using your body, I promise you that I will not use it for anything else that the experiment." Not that I would mind having a bit of fun, but I really need her trust and full cooperation.
She was glad she didn't have to extract the promise from him; it meant he would hold it. She smiled warmly at him, and he found her gesture most agreeable.
They met three other times in August, so that Severus would have all the information he needed to impersonate Hermione Granger at work. She borrowed Harry's Invisibility Cloak for him so that he could follow her one day and see what he would be supposed to do on September 5th. He was itching to hex Hermione's boss, and thought that he would need to take a Calming Draught when he would be—although the Muggle would be none the wiser—on the receiving end of his rudeness. Severus acquired a new appreciation of Hermione's resistance to insults that day.
As for Hermione, she did an extensive research on drugs. What she found horrified her. She decided that she would present her findings to the students as if she was pleading a case in court, in the hope to get them away from those abominations like heroin, cocaine, or meth. Besides, that would be good training for her future career.
At last, September 5th was upon them.
Severus was ready. He had taken the extended Polyjuice at ten p.m. the previous day to give him some time to get accustomed to a female body. Hermione hadn't been shy to discuss things with him, and now the time had come to put them into action. Putting on a bra had been awkward—the contraption was far easier to take off—but he nearly made a fatal mistake when he used the loo. He remembered just in time that his dangling bits were "concealed" for the time being. At least, she had had the courtesy of snipping some hair from her mane at a time when she didn't have her period. He tried to comb said hair, quickly renounced, and set off for a last meeting with Hermione—they'd been on a first name basis since the last time they've met—at her flat. He had no doubt that the few Slytherins who had seen him/her leave their Head of House quarters would remain silent. He walked outside of the school's gates and Apparated on her landing.
Hermione recognised Severus' way of knocking and opened her door. "Severus! What have you done to my hair?"
"Nothing!" he snarled. "I can't do anything to it, that's the problem."
She pouted. "Come. We still have time; I'll braid my—your curls for you."
He made to take his customary seat in her living room.
"No," she interjected. "Take this chair, it will be easier to do it there than with you sitting on the sofa."
He looked at the rickety chair as if he suspected it to collapse at any moment, but sat down on it nonetheless. When they were done, he appreciated not to have his face tickled by misbehaving hair anymore. He looked at her properly for the first time since his arrival and noticed her professional-looking witches' robes, her own braided hair, her light make-up and her air of readiness. He idly thought that she had the potential of being a great lawyer.
"Well, I think it's time for me to go. Professor Dumbledore expects me to arrive in half an hour, and I wouldn't want to be late. You still have an hour before you have to leave. Make yourself at home." And as simply as that, she was gone. She was far too trusting.
Severus used the time he had left to check his emergency vials of extended and regular Polyjuice, of Calming Draught, his wand, and to review everything he knew about Hermione's job.