Beautiful World

A/N- As promised, here is a one-shot in honor of the release of the film. I would have posted this earlier (I have a good excuse- I was busy watching the film with a friend and didn't get home until now).

I'm also making this part of my 20 by 20 Challenge (see other fics labeled "Part of the 20 by 20 Challenge" for rules and details).

This song was inspired by listening to the song "Romantic Flight" over and over again (and thinking about "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. It's sort of a song-fic, but the lyrics were more of a nice addition rather than a way to structure this fic.

This is a post-film reflection of Hiccup's thoughts and reflections.

Song "Wonderful World" by James Morrison.

Enjoy!

-Don ^_^

I've been down so low
People look at me and they know
They can tell something is wrong
Like I don't belong

It was finally over. Hiccup could walk out his front door without worrying about being laughed at or people shaking their heads in disappointment at his very presence. He seemed to now cause a stir among the Vikings in Berk that was not only positive, but it was frighteningly so. No corner could he turn without being greeted by a jovial "Hi there, Hiccup!" or "How's Toothless?" and "Have you been out flying today?"

It was too much.

For so long he'd been accustomed to ridicule and slander at the expense of his own dignity. He wasn't even sure until now that he'd had any to begin with. Whatever screw-up he managed to pull off, he was sure that it would top the last one he made. He would never disappoint anyone in how horribly he'd mess up each time. Hiccup was sure that Stoic would never even consider his son a candidate for the next Chief, let alone Viking and a part of the community. No, Hiccup was very sure he'd be stuck in the blacksmith shop for the rest of his life, watching the trainees his age grow up and become Viking warriors without him. He'd see them grow stronger and marry and begin their own families.

That was one thing Hiccup knew he could never hope to have: a family of his own.

Staring through a window
Standing outside, they're just too happy to care tonight
I want to be like them
But I'll mess it up again

Hiccup looked out the window as the sunlight touched on the hill. He let his hand slide down the window pane and onto the sill. With a heavy sigh, he stood up, teetering slightly as he applied pressure on his leg. He still had trouble getting around on it without feeling some form of discomfort.

He couldn't help but feel left out of the training sessions. He couldn't move as quickly as he had before, and his former pace was slow enough on its own.

After he unceremoniously tripped and fell over when entering the training ring, he'd been asked to leave before he injured himself. He'd felt something pierce him deep inside when he saw the pain and regret on Astrid's face as she agreed with the other trainees and Gobber.

Hiccup had limped his way to the blacksmith shop and spent the rest of the day there drawing up new designs for dragon riding equipment and then working at the forge. The hot metal burned his hands as he worked, but at the time he hadn't cared much.

But now he could see the red and raw skin on his palms and on the outsides of his hands where the hot metal and the embers of the forge had burned his skin. Of course, he'd been able to hide it since he wore his winter gloves outside and his forge gloves when working, so no one noticed.

I tripped on my way in
And got kicked outside, everybody saw...

Hiccup slipped on his leather riding gloves and winced as they rubbed against his burns. He slowly walked down the stairs and smiled when he saw his best friend curled up near the hearth. The dragon lifted his eyes and twitched his ears expectantly.

"Yeah, me too," Hiccup said and walked over to scratch Toothless behind his jaw line. Then the two walked outside to get jostled by a gust of wind. Toothless stood firmly, holding Hiccup up until the wind passed. Without waiting another second, Hiccup mounted Toothless and the two took to the skies. It was cold and the icy wind bit into his cheeks, but Hiccup didn't mind.

It was better up in the sky. He could almost feel the earth itself turning and the clouds moving to catch up to the rainy seasons. There were some things one could only see or feel when above the world one usually lived in. Stepping outside of the ring, of the lodge, of his own skin, Hiccup could sense things through his weightlessness alone.

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now

Toothless let out a contented rumble and Hiccup stretched out his hand to run it through the clouds. The water slipped through his fingers and soaked the sleeve of his jacket. Nothing felt as good as not feeling a part of a world that he didn't really understand. He gave a long sigh and reopened his eyes.

Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now

He swiped his sleeve up to his face, to find that it was wet and his nose was running. "Odin, I must look pathetic," He said. Toothless growled a negative. "I'm sure if you had a runny nose, you wouldn't be saying that." Toothless moaned and then flicked his tail. "We'll have to see what happens when you do."

As he was already awakened to the world below once more, Hiccup and Toothless returned to the ground once more. He dismounted and began to trudge through the snow. It stung sometimes when his metal leg got frozen or cold enough that it irritated the skin of the remainder of his leg. Hiccup winced and then leaned back against Toothless. Today was just one of those days. He enjoyed flying, but it hurt too much to not think about what would happen when he came down again.

Well, I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea

But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Maybe the world wasn't so bad. After all, the Vikings had accepted the dragons, albeit slowly, into their lives. Stoic had taken the longest to warm to having Toothless in his home, but eventually he had, in his own way, let Toothless become a part of the Chief's life. Toothless was almost a surrogate son at this point. Despite the obvious differences between them, Toothless had accepted Stoic as well.

Hiccup wasn't sure he'd adjusted to the changes as well as he thought he would. He'd been elated when he woke up to find that not only had Berk changed, but it had completely rewritten all of its previous rules and philosophies. It had thrown its initial structure and lifestyle out the window for a new and different living: one that had dragons as its heart and soul.

Hiccup took a deep breath and stepped forward again, only to sink straight down into the snow by his metal foot. It was heavier than a normal leg and Hiccup could do little to pull himself from the drift. Toothless attempted to pull his friend out, but only ended up biting too hard into Hiccup's jacket, tearing it in the back right before Hiccup dropped, this time even deeper into the snow.

The snow near his ears crunched and he felt a firm grip on his arm and then suddenly found himself standing once more. He turned his head around.

"How come you didn't tell me you were flying today?" Hiccup hated to see Astrid's eyes so filled with disappointment, though he knew already that it wasn't in him so much as what he'd done. "You weren't at dragon training either."

Hiccup shrugged and brushed the snow off his jacket. "I didn't want to repeat my mistakes from last time."

Astrid frowned, "Mistakes? Just because you fell over once-"

"Twice," Hiccup corrected, "Or five if you count when I got knocked over by Fish's Gronckle."

"You can't blame yourself for what happened to your leg," Astrid replied with a shake of her head, "It's not fair."

"Of course it's not," Hiccup said dryly, "Nothing's been fair to me. Ever."

Astrid found herself looking at a completely different Hiccup than the one that had eagerly agreed to help out in training the other Vikings to ride dragons or the one she'd kissed after he woke up.

This Hiccup was cold, both literally and mentally. He'd hardened himself to the outside world and wasn't about to let anyone in. She would have been lying if she'd said she didn't miss the old Hiccup, the one who'd take her on flights through a different world. But he'd gone somewhere else and left her to express her feelings to a shell of his former self.

Sometimes I feel so full of love
It just comes spilling out
It's uncomfortable to see
I give it away so easily
But if I had someone I would do anything
I'd never, never, ever let you feel alone
I won't, I won't leave you, on your own

Hiccup averted his eyes. He couldn't look at Astrid. No matter what he did, he still felt like he paled in comparison to her abilities and skills. She was a brave person, she didn't falter whenever he needed her, and she was always perfect in everything she did. Astrid never accomplished anything halfheartedly and no matter where she was or what she was doing; she never ceased to amaze him.

His dream was to see a world where Vikings lived harmoniously with dragons. He'd stood up to his father and lost a leg just to see that happen.

But even now, he didn't feel like he'd changed at all. He was still his usual clumsy self.

But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they let you down...

"I'm a failure," Hiccup said quietly. Toothless turned his head and rubbed his head against his friend's arm. No matter what it was that Hiccup was feeling, Toothless could sense what it was and how best to react. Sometimes the dragon's observations were more astute than those of the humans in Berk.

His dream was alive and breathing, yet he didn't feel an ounce of joy over it. It was confusing and Hiccup didn't want to be confused, he thought for once he'd find clarity through his goal. But now that it was accomplished, he felt… lost?

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

"Failure?" Astrid blurted incredulously. She grabbed his arm and dragged Hiccup across the snow to the center of the village. "Look around you. This is Berk: a home for dragons and Vikings to live together. You did this, Hiccup," She elbowed him and he looked up as several Deadly Nadders flew down to the dragon barn from the sky. Vikings greeted them with pats on their necks and fish. "If anything, you fixed our failures. Mine, your father's, the whole village was messed up until you broke all the rules."

Hiccup sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "That's just it," He glanced up at the now empty sky. "I broke the rules and now I don't know what to do with myself."

And I wish that I could make it better
I'd give anything for you to call me, or maybe just a little letter
Oh, we could start again

Astrid frowned and then folded her arms across her chest. "You could start by trying a little harder to be happy. This is your world, Hiccup. Yours. Not mine, not Berk's, yours," She leaned over to peer into his eyes carefully, "And if you can't see that, then none of us will."

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well, I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well, I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Hiccup sighed and then shook his head slowly. "I know I changed everything, but I'll never be able to change into someone who can keep making things change without messing up or making things worse," He turned away and started to trudge through the snow.

"Just what are you saying, Hiccup?" Astrid demanded heatedly. More than anything, she wanted to punch the depleted person out of him and yell at him until he smiled. She wanted to wipe the sadness from his eyes and voice, but she could tell that punching him, even if it had worked before, wouldn't work now.

"I need to stop all of this," He gestured to himself and then kept walking. Astrid stood rooted on the spot, watching him walk back to his lodge, limping and staggering the whole way up the hill. This wasn't what she expected. She thought Hiccup would have understood now that he was the best part of Berk. He was the lifeblood of the village and everyone knew it. Everyone, apparently, except Hiccup.

And I know that it's a wonderful world
I can't feel it right now
I got all the right clothes to wear
I just want to cry now
Well, I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Hiccup pulled off his coat and sat down on the stairs as he eased off his boots. The snow had gotten into his pant legs and the skin of the remaining stump of his leg was red. He sighed and limped over to the couch and stretched across it. He didn't feel like trying to walk up the stairs at the moment.

He leaned his head back and draped his arm across his face. He could see the burns clearly now and he shut his eyes. Toothless watched his friend from his small bed at the far side of the room. He rested his head on his front legs and soon enough was sleeping. Hiccup, however, simply shut his eyes and only opened them when a sharp pain in his hand snapped his eyes open.

"Your hands are badly burned," Hiccup stared blankly up into the blue eyes of a girl he could have sworn he'd scared away with his self flagellating comments. The words had just come out. He'd said everything he'd been thinking long before Berk had actually changed and he, in his blindness, had still believed that nothing had changed.

He still believed people would remember who he was before and think him weak for remaining the same.

"I burned them at the forge," Hiccup replied simply. She nodded slowly and then stood up and walked into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned with a basin and a wet cloth.

"Here, hold out your hands," Astrid said and Hiccup hesitantly extended his hands. The touch of the cloth caused him to wince at first, but then it slowly dissipated the longer it remained on his hands.

"Astrid?"

"Yes, Hiccup?" She lifted her eyes to meet his. She could tell that whatever was bothering him was attempting to get out, but his mouth wouldn't open. He clenched his jaw and then shook his head.

"Do you think I've changed?" Hiccup finally asked. Astrid regarded him for a moment and then shook her head slowly.

"No, you haven't changed at all," Astrid replied simply. It was a matter of fact statement and it only served to dishearten Hiccup even further. Still, he felt the need to get to the core of the matter.

"You have," He observed. She turned her blue eyes on him and nodded.

"Of course, everyone does at some point," Astrid said as she wrung out the cloth and applied it to his hands again.

"But not me," Hiccup stated plainly. Astrid opened her mouth but Hiccup held up his hand to stall any comments.

"Look, I understand. I know I'm still a screw-up. I know I'll always draw the wrong kind of attention to myself and I know I won't ever be the kind of Viking warrior that my father is," He sighed. "It's just that with all the changes around me, I thought I'd change too," He lowered his gaze to his hands and made to lift the cloth off, but she laid her hand of his.

"Because you never needed to change." Hiccup turned and saw the sincerity in Astrid's eyes. It sent a strange feeling through him. He couldn't place what it was, but it reminded him of their first flight together.

That day, Hiccup had asked Astrid to let him show her what flying on a dragon was like. He'd asked her to trust him. He knew that he hadn't really changed after meeting Toothless so much as he'd brought out a side of him that he didn't realize existed.

"But you said everyone does," Hiccup said, frowning. "Why not me?"

"Why not? Because you're the only one who could change Berk from without," Astrid said, giving his hand a squeeze and then immediately apologized when she saw him wince. "Oops, sorry I forget your hands were…"

"It's okay," He said gently and smiled. Astrid felt relief wash over her at the sight. It seemed like his usual smiley and carefree self had gone away for a while. But it was back. "I guess I always thought because I hadn't changed, people would just go back to thinking of me in the same way as before."

"That's not going to happen," Astrid answered, "This is the world we live in now. Like it or not, you're not the only one who loves dragons."

Hiccup found that he didn't need to say anything. Astrid had given him all the words he needed. The smile left his face as she punched him.

"Ow, what was that for?" Hiccup demanded. Astrid scowled good naturedly at him.

"That was for burning your hands and being stupid," Hiccup gave Toothless a confused frown. She then pressed her lips to his and he found that it was easy to get lost in a maze of emotions until she pulled away.

"And that?" Hiccup asked, smiling in anticipation of her usual exchange.

"Was for creating a beautiful world," Astrid brushed the bangs from his face, kissed his forehead and continued to treat his hands.

For once, he didn't mind being a foolish dreamer.

And I know that it's a wonderful world
When you're with me

A/N- Fin. =)