"Crash Nitro Kart, Underworld Style"

By: Aoshi02780…..and sadly no I do not own the movie underworld or anything with it…..

I also do not own the game 'Crash Nitro Kart'….

Chapter 1: The call

So we have our cast, which are Selene, Michael, Kraven, Victor, Lucian, Erica, and Sonja. They are all outside at what looks to be at…..

A park?...

"Okay, whose fucking idea was this?" Lucian growled.

"Who's do you think?" Selene said 'matter of factly'.

Right when she said that everybody turned their heads to Kraven, who in turn just stared back at them with his hands up.

"What the hell are you all looking at me for? Like I would ever choose a place like this," Kraven defending himself. The other's just rolled their eyes as they spotted a bench near by. They looked at each, then at the bench. Looked at each other again, then again at the bench……

At each other…..

The bench…..

At each other….

The bench…..

At each other…..

Then, simultaneously at the same time, all of them charged over at that bench to sit on it. So it seemed that Michael, with his hybrid speed, was in the lead until he tripped over a rock and landed face flat on face.

"Ha hah, serves you right bitch!" Kraven pointed and laughed at him, while still running.

"What did you call him!" Selene yelled over her shoulder while running, as she was in second behind Victor.

"N-nothing…..", Kraven squeaked out, totally afraid of Selene. All of them were so close to the bench, as so far it was Victor who was first, then Selene, Lucian, Sonja, Kraven, Erica, and then of course Michael who was still recovering from his fall. But now Lucian ran ahead of Selene and now was side by side with Victor, who didn't look too pleased.

"Move out of the way batman!" Lucian yelled out as he pushed Victor.

"There is no way in hell I'll lose to the likes of you, you fucking lycon!" Victor yelled back, as he pushed right back at Lucian. It seemed that it was going to be a tie, until out of nowhere an old lady came and sat on the bench. Lucian and Victor both tried to slowed down but they would never be able to slow down in time as the lady then screamed as she saw seven people zooming towards her.

"AHHHH," Lucian and Victor screamed as they were seconds away from colliding with the lady. And to make matters worse, it was a hill they were running on. And Michael being all clumsy, fell again and started rolling down the hill uncontrollably as he knocked over Erica, Sonja, and Kraven over and then theyalso started rolling down the hill uncontrollably. It wasn't long until they all bumped into Selene and then Lucian and Victor to make one big huge ball of people rolling down the hill.

"Grrrr, get your smelly foot off me you freaking hybrid!" Kraven roared.

"Owww, my hair!." Both Erica and Sonja cried while Selene just rolls her eyes.

"You know that if we die right now it's your entire fault Michael," Selene said calmly as Michael now had a sad puppy dog face.

"But I'll still make-out with you", Selene said seductively.

Michael:…:)

The lady, now cradled up on the bench, was now screaming bloody murder as a big huge ball of people were right at her way.

"AHHHH!"

"AHHHH!" the group screamed back.

"AHHHH"

"AHHHH"

But just before they hit her, a bright light shined over them as they disappeared. As the bright light was gone, the lady still sat there. Well, fortunately for her she didn't get trampled by seven bodies. Though unfortunately for her she died of a heart attack before they even hit.

"Ouch! Get your ogre sized butt off my face!" Kraven yelled at Lucian, who was on top of him.

"How about you all get off of me first before you fight?" Selene growled out. Everybody all got up off each other very slowly as they stretched out their muscles.

"Oh my god! Just look at my hair! It's all ruined and it's all thanks to your stupid claws you hybrid!" Erica cried dramatically.

"Actually, I have a name and its Michael if you should be so kind to use it!" Michael yelled back.

"Hey, you with the face, yell at my girlfriend one more time and I'll stick my gun right up your ass!" Kraven yelled at Michael.

"Um, hey guys, um…..where are we?" Sonja asked curiously as everyone stopped bickering. Everyone looked around where they were for the first time and to see what looked to be……

"Oh my god! It's a golf course!" Kraven screamed excitedly.

Everyone:…-,-….

"Um, idiot, why don't you try the word 'go-kart track'", Selene replied sarcastically, while enphasing the word with her fingers.

"So, why are we here? And who put us here?" Erica asked dramatically, whiling playing with her hair.

"Look, I don't care how we got here or who did, all I know is that I have a date with Sonja tonight at 7:00 and do notplan to waste it here at Disney land!" Lucian yelled.

"Oh my god, that's right, we have a date to, right Michael" Selene asked.

"Oh please, a date with you two means just another make out session, right?" Kraven asked with an eyebrow.

"Shut up" Selene said as she rolled her eyes.

"Kraven! How come you don't take me on any dates!" whined Erica. Before Kraven could answer, a voice boomed through the track.

"Welcome all champions"

Everybody started to look around to see where the voice came from as there was no one in sight. Victor got tired of this and yelled out……

"What is the meaning of this!"

"Um…yea, what he said" Michael said stupidly.

"I'm sorry for sending you here without any notice. My apology's," the voice spoke out and continued, "But I have brought you here for entertainment for my planet."

"Fuck, I don't have time for this rubbish!" Lucian yelled out, as Michael could be heard snickering as he held his hands over his mouth.

"What the fuck you laughing at you pee brain?" Lucian questioned.

"Ha hah ha hah, who says rubbish anymore?" Michael laughed behind his hands.

"You want to laugh at me, fine, then I'll stick some fucking rubber up your ass!"

"Excuse me?" Selene questioned, "The only thing that goes up Michael's ass will only be stuff I put in it. You put your hands anywhere near his ass and I'll kick your sorry ass in the middle of next week. Got it, his ass is mine bitch!"

"Anyways!" Victor interrupted them, "What do you mean by entertainment."

"Basically my planet has been very bored and so I thought that I should teleport all of the strongest creatures here to our planet for a race!" the voice boomed.

"A race, what kind of race are we talking?" Erica asked, now very curious.

"Oh, oh, does it have to do with golf!" Kraven yelled out excitingly.

"No", the voice replied dully.

"God Kraven, will you lay off the golf!" Sonja yelled at him.

"Anyways, to answer your question, this will be an official go-kart race across this very track." The voice boomed but continued, "But however, the levels will not of course be the same, once a race is done, the winners of that race will compete in a level two race and so on until there is only two drivers left for the final race."

"And what if we don't accept?" Michael asked cautiously.

"Hmm, well, then that just means you won't goback to your planet" the voice boomed, "It's a very simple concept ; If you race you go home, if you don't you stay here forever. The choice is totally up to you."

"Hmm, figures it would be something like this," Michael said to himself.

"How'd you know?" Selene asked him.

"I didn't, but that's always the story" Michael replied.

"Wait, who are you?" Sonja asked.

"He's probably the king" Michael replied.

"Hmm, the idiot is correct. I, Velo, am king of this planet" the voice now known as Velo boomed.

"Hey, how'd you know?" Sonja asked.

"I didn't, but that's always the story" Michael again said, but then got what Velo just said, "Hey, I'm not an idiot!"

"You watch way to much TV" Selene replied while rolling her eyes.

"So, do you accept my challenge?" Velo boomed.

Yay! I've finally got it written, I've wanted to write about something like this for awhile but just haven't been able to do so. Also cause I also didn't know what show or movie to use. But since I love Underworld and haven't done one yet, I decided to this movie. Oh, and if I didn't mention it up at the top, I do not own 'Crash Nitro Cart' the game, since this is based on the game. This chapter probably wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be, but don't worry, it will be one the races start. But until then, please review since it would oh so give me more confidence in writing this, and c ya till then…..:)