Hello everyone! BIG thank you goes out to Steffi (applesandcherries) for beta reading, and coming up with the title. *huggles* I came up with this last week at work and wanted to get it up before Mondays episode *squeals!* Please enjoy this little one shot and make a fangirl happy by reviewing
The Waiting Game
Her secret came out in a flurry. It came out so fast she didn't realize she said it, till she saw the hurt in his eyes. He told her to get out, to leave.
That he'd call her.
Oh the irony.
For three days she didn't sleep, didn't eat. She barely remembers anything from those three days. It's all a haze. Dr. Burke tried to help. Told her it was her time to wait for him. She couldn't take it any longer, the silence, and the pain of him not knowing. He had to know. So she went to him, disobeyed his request, disobeyed Dr. Burke's advice. Alexis was the one to open the door. She saw something she couldn't describe in Alexis's eyes. It wasn't anger but it wasn't acceptance either. But Alexis moved and allowed her entrance with no words exchanged. She saw Martha rounding the kitchen island, moving toward her and was about to say hello when Rick's voice sounded loud, too loud through the loft.
"I told you I didn't want to see you. That I'd call you."
He was angry. And for a split second she thought about running.
"Please, I just need to say one thing and I'll go."
When he just stood staring she took a breath and hoped this would save her.
"If we aren't going to see each other again you need to know that I'm sorry, truly sorry. And if you can ever forgive me, just know that I do love you, very much and that I'll be waiting for you. Always."
Her eyes never left his. He was unmoving, unreadable. She blinked the tears away and turned to leave. Giving Martha and Alexis a nod and "I'm sorry to interrupt your evening" and she was gone.
Rick stood dumbfounded and it wasn't till the harsh words of Martha and Alexis that brought him back to reality.
"Richard!"
"Dad!"
He blinked, "What?"
"Richard, go to her now."
"No. I told her to stay away. She lied to me!" Rick was still distraught, torn between letting her go or going after her and never letting her go again.
"Darling, I recall you are keeping your own secret." And she pointed to his study. To where his, no her murder board was silently waiting. It's been silent for far too long because he can't solve it.
"Damnit, I'm keeping her safe!" Rick's temper was unsettling to his family but they knew it was mostly out of fear, his fear of losing her.
"Darling, did you stop to consider that maybe she was keeping you safe? That she wouldn't admit to it till she could act on it?"
Rick continued to pace the living room, his mind going a mile a minute.
"Dad, she confessed everything to you just now and in front of Gram and me. That's gotta mean something. Go after her." Alexis pleaded with her father. As much as she worried about her father's safety and sometimes blamed the Detective for it, she couldn't bear to see her dad in agony like he's been the last three days. Especially when all he had to do was go after her.
He couldn't think. Her words, his mother's words, Alexis's words were all swimming in his head and drowning him. Her words kept coming back to him. "I love you." "I'll be waiting for you." Over and over till finally his body caught up with his mind and he ran from the loft.
She drove and drove. Parked and walked and walked. Drove some more. Walked some more. She felt mostly free from finally unburdening herself but she felt trapped because he didn't stop her. He let her go. A sad smile stole itself onto her lips at the contradiction of her thoughts.
He went everywhere, her apartment, the precinct, the Old Haunt. She was nowhere. So he settled in at her door step. He'd wait for her. That's really how they worked. He'd wait.
It was late when she gave in to the exhaustion of her emotions. She rounded the corner to her apartment and there he was.
"Castle?" It was tentative, quite. She moved closer and saw his eyes were closed. "Castle?" Still, Castle made no movement or sound. She let out a breath and moved to the opposite wall, mirroring his position. Back to the wall, legs straight out. She watched him. He looked peaceful but his eyes were of rapid movement behind his lids. She knew his sleep wasn't as peaceful as it looked. She blamed herself, for years of self-pity and cowardliness. Finally the damn broke and the tears flew freely. She pulled her legs up and hugged herself with her face buried in her knees. She cried silently, like she always did. He stirred slightly and woke fully at the sound of her soft sniffles.
"Kate?" He asked, moving to kneel in front of her. She went still, silent. He was hesitant and scared to touch her but his head had always won out before. It was time to listen to his heart. He put his hands on her shoulders and bent his head to kiss her hair. She smelled like cherries and it drove him over the edge. He quickly sat down next to her and pulled her into his lap. His arms were tight around her, her head on his shoulder. She was stiff but didn't protest.
"Kate, please don't cry. I'm so sorry."
When his tears dripped to her hand that clenched at his shirt, she went boneless against him. The tears continued from both as each took turns whispering "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" till both were exhausted of all tears.
FIN