AUTHORS NOTE

Set after the rescue of Maggie from the Governor, except Glenn was not found after Merle had tortured him (I've nothing against him, he's my favourite character infact) and Daryl has been captured.

It had been a day sinse it all happened. Since Glenn died. Since Daryl got taken. We sat in silence. Some were mourning, some were planning their next move... I... I didn't know what to do. I'd lost more than half my family, I was practically immune to death and the feelings it brought up.

But I loved Glenn more than life itself.

Maybe I wouldn't have picked him in life before, but, we definitely belonged together. He loved me so much... and he died for me. That's how he wanted to go, he'd say, dying for me. Whether it was by walker, some one shooting at us, or torture. I just stopped crying but I knew I couldn't stay this calm forever, not having Glenn... It made me unbalanced and I felt like I might kill someone if they crossed me wrong.

Rick was sitting on the floor with Carol, Axel, Hershel, Michonne, Beth, and Carl. They had a map layed on the floor between them, it wouldn't be long before we left.

Glenn, I thought, I don't think we can do this... I don't think we'll survive them...

I imagine he'd say something like "We can do this, Maggie. We can do this, I love you, we can do this." I felt comfort in the fact that he was watching me from heaven, protecting me, guiding me.

I looked up to see Rick, his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed, "Maggie, I know this is a bad time but... we need you. You're one of the best fighters in this group. Glenn would want-"

"Rick, please..." I whispered, "Let's just... Not mention Glenn, for now."

"I'm, I'm sorry. I really am... If it's any consolation, I do know how you feel," he said, looking down.

Lori. Oh God, Lori. He lost her not even a week ago, and he hadn't shown any sign of weakness or giving up. How? They were married for so long, they loved each other so much. I hadn't even known Glenn a year.

"How do you do it?" I asked, "I feel like I'm going to collapse... or die."

"It's, well, we all have different ways of adapting. But I... I just pretend she's here. In the other room, or, in a safer area. And I... I gotta push, for her, for Carl, because they need me. Everyone here needs me; Carol, Daryl, you..." he took my hands in his hands, "I, I gotta be strong for them. Or else, Lori, she died for nothing. Hmmph, I remember she'd say things like 'You do what you gotta do, and I'll stand with you,' she was with me no matter what, and I can't let her down."

He was as broken as the rest of us.

He was strong though, for Lori.

"I just- I just miss him so much!" I cried, falling into him, weeping on his chest. "I..I.. I can't breath!" I sobbed, gasping for air to speak. "I can't breathe. I can't breath..." I cried again. He wrapped his arms around me, and I sunk my head into his shoulders.

"I can't .. I can't breathe..." I whimpered, "Shhh, I know. I know. You gotta be strong, you gotta be strong.. Or else he died for nothin'," Rick whispered. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, they were honest and sympathetic. He took his hands off of me, and from another room Judith started to cry, "I should-" "No, go back to the group, Rick. I got her," I said, trying to smile.

I walked into the third cell, a second hand crib and a table sat alone in the grey, cold, room. Judith's cries were quiet, like she knew the situation we were in, and had adapted to it. I looked down into her bed, I picked her up and checked her diaper, nothin'; she was hungry. I grabbed the bottle from the table and held it to her mouth, she started to suckle on the bottle tip.

Glenn wanted kids, he was afraid of being a father and was a tad uncomfortable around kids, but always said to have a family with me was his dream.

"I'm so sorry, Glenn.. I wish we were a family," I whispered.

"We are a family, Mags. You, me, Rick, Carol, everyone," he would say, if he were here.

"You're right, you're so smart, Glenn, why did you leave? Why did you leave..." there were tears in my eyes and as I looked down at Judith, I knew, this was my family. I took the empty bottle from her and put her back in her crib, I smiled down at the only hope we had, I had to live for her.

"Everything okay?" asked Rick, walking into the cell, picking up his baby girl. "Yeah, I'm okay.. You're real lucky you got Judith, Rick, I envy you," I chuckled, looking down at the blood stained floor. "Envy? I hardly think my life is anything to envy," Rick said looking at me with that concerned face of his. "All I ever wanted was a child, with Glenn, you know. Judith.. she's perfect..."

"And I lost the woman I loved for her."

"Yeah, and I lost the man I loved, for nothing."

"He was tryin' to save you!" Rick exclaimed, laying his child down.

"And Lori was trying to save her!"

"It's not the same," he hissed, stepping closer to me.

"Of course it ain't! Lori died for something worth dyin' for!"

"And you're not worth dying for? Maggie, how can you think like that?! I- I- I'd end my life if I knew you were in danger! I can't believe you'd say somethin' like that. Jesus, Maggie." he yelled, now right in my face.

I didn't realise what I was doing at the time, whether it was the malnutrition, Glenn's death, or just anxiety, but at that moment I needed Rick. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. Biting his bottom lip and running my fingers through his hair, my mind was in the fog.

He quickly pushed me away, "Maggie... I-"

"Rick! Come over 'ere!" yelled Carol.

He left to help them, our family, our damaged, broken, family.