This story involves a trip in the wayback machine to the time when Sam and Mercedes first started dating. Two parts.
"Who's coming tonight?" Stacey sat on the edge of the bed, her short legs dangling over the edge.
"Quinn." Sam said, buttoning up his uniform. He could see the slight frown that flickered across Stacey's face. "Something wrong?"
"No, it'll be fun." Stacey said quickly.
"She can help us identify these rocks." Stevie added, pulling out a shoebox full of rocks and leaves.
"Where'd you get those?" he asked, sitting down on the floor between his brother and sister.
"Yesterday. Mercedes took us to the lake yesterday. That's why I hoped she was coming. She took us on a nature walk, that what she called it."
"But she doesn't know much about the woods." Stevie said good-naturedly. "She called them all oak trees and she called all the birds LBBs, little brown birds. I told her we'd take her fishing."
"She screamed!" Stacey laughed. "She said the only fish she wanted to see was on a sissy bar. What's a sissy bar?"
A sissy bar? Sam thought. Nationals in New York. "Sushi! I think she meant a sushi bar. Raw fish, ugh!"
"Raw fish? Ugh!" Stacey repeated. "Quinn brings her laptop. She knows how to look up stuff. That's good."
"Which one do you like best?" Sam teased, and immediately regretted it. They're both doing him a big favor, babysitting for free. How could Stacey and Stevie choose?
"Both." they said together. "Mercedes takes us places, Quinn teaches us stuff. Which one do you like better?"
"Both!" he said. Quinn's sexy and Mercedes is sweet Sam thought.
"I know which one you like best." Stevie declared. "Mercedes!"
Stacey nodded solemnly and added "You smile at Mercedes."
"I smile at both of them."
"You smile at Mercedes, even when she isn't looking at you!"
"No I don't." Why do they think that?
"Yes you do!" she insisted. "I saw you do it."
Sam stood behind the counter at one of his many jobs, this one at the pizza parlor. Between waiting on customers, making pizzas for customers or cleaning up after customers he stared at Mercedes. She was sitting at the other end of the pizza parlor, with Rachel, Finn, Kurt and Blaine. She was sitting closest to the window and while the others joked and flirted with each other she spent most of her time looking at the parking lot. Someone, usually Kurt, would say something to her and she'd smile and respond but mostly she looked out the window. For the first time in his life Sam wondered what was going on in somebody else's head.
Sam barely knew Mercedes, even after a year of glee club. He knew some people didn't like her attitude but actually, she didn't really say much. More than Tina talks but definitely less than Rachel or Santana. Now there's two girls with an abundance of attitude. Everybody says Rachel is the better singer but he likes Mercedes' voice better. It's warmer and you feel like singing along. Technically Rachel may be better but you just want to listen, not sing along.
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. She was singing that to Stevie and Stacey last week, when he came home, trying to put them to bed. Of course that didn't work, who can sleep when she's singing? I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. Is she happy? What a weird question, why wouldn't she be happy? She has a home, friends, money. Sam pushed the thought out of his mind and went over to clean off a table.
Early the next morning
Sam showered quickly, with so many people sharing so small a space you learn not to waste time in the bathroom. After getting dressed he knelt down beside Stevie and Stacey.
"Shhh! Hey, it's time to get up if we're going to the carnival!" His mom had gotten free tickets through work. He'd have to be careful about money but it could be a great day.
"Tired!" Stevie groaned. "I don't wanna."
"You don't want to go to the carnival?" Sam wasn't too upset. He could sit out front and read a book for a while, until they woke up. Sam's not much for reading but the idea of an hour or two with no place to go made a book seem like a good idea. Happily Mike and Tina introduced him to anime and manga, which are not comic books as he reminded his dad.
"Sam." his mother whispered, trying not to wake his dad. "Why don't you just take off? I'm off today and I'll take the babies later."
"I'm not a baby!" Stevie complained, half asleep.
"I don't mind waiting. I don't know what I'd do with myself and a free day."
"You won't be by yourself. Mercedes is coming."
"Mercedes?" Sam was alarmed and slightly excited at the same time. First he wondered what he'd find to say to Mercedes after the first 10 minutes. Then he wondered about the excitement, he'd never spent more than 5 minutes talking to her.
"Yes, Mercedes. It's not much but I offered her carnival tickets. She said she hasn't been in years. Seemed like she was looking forward to it."
"Hi, Sam. Where is everybody?" Mercedes was getting out of her car and walking towards where Sam was sitting at a picnic table on the motel patio. She was smiling, happy and looking kinda cute, Sam noticed for the first time. She was wearing jeans and a dark blue sparkly t-shirt that reminded him of the dress she wore for that concert nobody came to. She looked really cute that night too, now that he's thinking about it. Her hair was loose and curly, not pulled back like she usually wore it. She seemed...relaxed.
"I am everybody."
She frowned, like this this was a joke she didn't get. "What do you mean?"
"My mom wants to take the babies later. She wants to bond with them. It's just us."
"Just us?" She tensed up.
"If you still want to go." he wondered why she was so tense all of a sudden.
"Do you want to go, with just me?" Now she seemed anxious, like she actually thought he'd say no.
He laughed and she looked at him. Don't laugh at me, that look said. He quickly took her hand and adopted a cheesy accent. "Fine lady, I thought you'd never ask!" which seemed to relax her.
"Okay, kind sir, my noble steed awaits."
Sam had wondered what he'd say to her after 10 minutes, two hours later and there wasn't a pause in the conversation. He hadn't realized she knew so much about old movies, science fiction, all kinds of things. Mercedes wasn't poor but she also knew all about thrift store shopping. She was currently describing the deal she got on the jeans she's wearing.
"Ten dollars! Can you believe it? They're Seven's and cost like $150 in the store." She twirled so he could see. "That's a steal, am I right?"
"Do that again." he said with an appreciative grin.
"What?" Then suddenly she was embarrassed, blushing and stammering.
Hadn't anybody ever flirted with her before? "No, I'm serious. You look really good today. I really like those jeans, how you look In them." She got even more embarrassed.
"Well, that's very polite of you to say, kind sir." She made a joke of his compliment and quickly changed the subject. "What do yo want to do next?"
"You're not used to getting compliments, are you?"
"You dated Quinn and Santana so I'm sure you're used to giving them."
Sam tried to decode that remark. Finally he gave up. "What does that mean?"
"Nothing. You're sweet Sam, really sweet. Thank you for the compliment." But she was on edge for the rest of the day, until they ran into his mom and the kids after lunch. Then she focused on the babies.
Two Days Later
"How well do you know Mercedes?" Sam asked as he walked Quinn to her car a few days later after a babysitting session.
"A bit." Quinn seemed tense, though Sam could barely see her in the twilight. "Why?"
"We went to the carnival a couple of days ago. She seemed like she was on edge about something and she's been like that since. Just wondered if it was something I did, if you could find out if there's something I should apologize for."
"What happened, if you don't mind telling me."
"I told her she looked nice, and she did. She was looking really pretty that day."
"Then what?"
"She acted like she didn't believe it, like she thought I was lying. No, like I just said it to be polite. Then" he remembered what she'd said "she mentioned you and Santana. I could ask Santana if she knows, but I see you more often."
"Let me get back to you."
The next afternoon
"Hello Mercedes, Mrs. Jones. How are you two today?"
"Quinn?" both women seemed surprised to see her walk up the front walk. They'd be sitting on the front steps, talking and waiting for Dr. Jones to come home when Quinn pulled up.
"Fine, everybody's fine. What brings you here today?" Mrs. Jones asked politely. She hadn't seen Quinn since the day she moved out, suspiciously enough the week Mercedes was out of town. Mercedes was non-communicative on the subject of "how's Quinn doing" so Rita Jones guessed the girls had a fight before Quinn left. But no there was no fight, there was nothing. Literally nothing happened before or since. In fact, after the initial surprise at seeing Quinn walking up her front steps, Mercedes had retreated to her private place and ignored the blonde.
"I wondered if I could talk to Mercedes."
"Why?" Mercedes asked, just this side of hostile.
"Mercedes, is that polite? I'm going in to start dinner." Rita stood up. "Nice seeing you again Quinn." She hugged Quinn like she'd done every day when Quinn lived there.
"Thank you Mrs. Jones." Quinn primly arranged her skirt and sat down. "I saw Sam today." she started.
"I'm sure he enjoyed that. Seeing you." she leaned back and sighed.
"What does that mean?"
"Just what I said, I'm sure he enjoyed looking at you. Simple enough concept to grasp."
"And he doesn't enjoy looking at you?"
Mercedes said nothing for a minute or two. "Why are you here? Did you forget something when you left last summer?"
"No, Sam asked me if he'd done something wrong."
"Why, is he worried about losing a free babysitter? Tell him not to worry, he can count on me. Dependable is my middle name."
"No, he's worried that he did or said something to upset you. If he did he wants to fix it."
"I'm just peachy. I'll tell him tomorrow when I see him."
"Mercedes." Quinn said after a minute of silence. "I'm sorry."
"About what?"
"About the way I left last year." She lightly put her hand on Mercedes' knee, remembering how close they had been once. "I just wanted to forget the whole thing and you were part of it."
She ignored the hand on her knee. "Consider it forgotten. From this minute on the whole thing never happened." She stood up. "I gotta go help my mom. I would say goodbye but you don't believe in that." She let the door slam behind her.
The Next Day
They made an odd sight, Sam thought, watching the short black girl leading the two young blondes through the woods. Armed with the information Quinn had printed out they were examining leaves and bark, making careful notes in the notebooks Mercedes bought for them. She took pictures with her cellphone and promised to bring them next time. The three of them were staring at the ground when Stevie turned over a rock.
"Ewww!" Mercedes screamed and jumped back.
"It's just a garter snake." Stacey said, laughing so hard she almost fell over. She reached down and picked it up. Mercedes stepped back like it was a pit viper.
"That's nice. You can put it down now."
"Okay, but it's just a baby."
"Well I don't want to see the momma!"
"Sammy!" Stevie finally noticed Sam on the edge of the trail.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be a work? Did something happen?" Mercedes asked with concern.
"No, it was slow so they told me to take the rest of the day off. With pay! How great is that?"
"Then you don't need me to stay?" Again with that hesitant, uncertain look.
"I'd like it if you could stay." He held up a bag of bread crumbs. "I got these from work. We could go feed the ducks."
They sat on the bench by the lake, watching the kids feed the ducks. Mercedes avoided his eyes with a vengeance. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings the other day." Sam began. "I didn't mean to. I just..."
"It's okay, I'm just not used to guys flirting with me and overreacted. I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it."
"I did mean something. I meant it when I said you're pretty." He stared at the side of her face since she was refusing to look at him.
"Thanks but you shouldn't say things like that. It's better if you don't."
"Why wouldn't guys flirt with you?"
"I don't know. You'd have to ask them." she rubbed her temples like she was getting a headache. "You guys will be needing a ride home, won't you? The bus takes forever."
"Yes, thank you, but can I ask you something? My mom's home by now and I'm not working tonight. Would you like to go out, like on a date? A frugal date but I can afford coffee."
"Why would you want to do that? I'm sure there's a pretty girl who'd like to go out with you, even on a frugal date."
"I'm asking a pretty girl."
She frowned and rubbed her temples again. "That's really sweet of you to say that. But no."
"Do you already have a boyfriend?"
"Me?" she laughed. "No. Sam, I know what you're doing and it's really nice of you but I wish you wouldn't. Just stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stevie!" She stood up. "Stacey! We have to get going. Is it okay if I buy them ice cream?" she asked Sam without looking at him. "I promised."
Later that night
"Sam! It's Sam, right?" Rita Jones peered at the blonde standing on her doorstep, the second one this week.
"Yes Mrs. Jones. I just wondered if Mercedes was home."
"Was she expecting you?"
"No, I wanted to surprise her."
"Oh. You really should have called first, she's not home. She went out with some friends."
"Oh, Kurt and Rachel?"
"No, other friends. But I know where they went. They walked to a coffee house a couple of blocks down the street. Why don't you go on down, she'd be glad to see you."
Sam sat on the bus home, staring out the window but not seeing Lima, Ohio slide past. The west side with its big old houses on wide lots, where Mercedes and most of the kids from McKinley lived. Closer to town where the houses are smaller, newer, closer together. Where he used to live and where Santana, despite her threats of "Lima Heights adjacent" still lives. Downtown Lima, the east side where the houses are older, shabbier. Past Jefferson High, which he should be attending but Figgens is letting him finish the school year at McKinley, to his seedy motel. It's seedy but it's home because home is wherever his family is.
As he looks out the window he replays what he saw tonight. Mercedes was out with her friends, friends Sam recognized as band kids. It was a coffee house open mic night and when Sam walked in Mercedes was singing and that black girl who plays guitar in the band was playing. It was dark and crowded so Sam stood in the back, pretty sure that Mercedes couldn't see him from the stage. The first song was what he expected, something fast and happy about Brazil. It was the next two songs that had him thinking. He pulled out the small notebook he carries around these days. Due to his financial circumstances smart phones with unlimited data plans are a distant memory so he's old school with pencil and paper now.
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
When dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me
He had wanted to hug her, to run onstage and hug her when she finished. He didn't, the girl playing the guitar did and when the applause died down they sang the other song he wrote down.
Tall and tan and young and handsome
The boy from Ipanema goes walking
And when he passes
Each girl he passes goes - aaaaah
It was the same setup as before, three boys and two girls but he noticed they didn't seem paired off like Finn/Rachel, Kurt/Blaine + Mercedes. They seemed more like a group of friends out together having fun than people dating. Not wanting to intrude, he left before she noticed he was there. Would she have sung either of those songs in front of him? Is that how she sees herself, how she sees him? That would explain why whenever he tries to compliment her she brings up Quinn and Santana, the obvious beauty queen types. And she must think he's too good looking to really be interested in her.
He suddenly remembered something he'd overheard back when he performed with Quinn last year. Santana was being a bitch, complaining that any fool could see who won that duet contests, that Schuester was a racist pig. And Mercedes said Quinn and Sam 'fit' together, nobody would expect Schuester to put somebody 'distracting' front and center. The word distracting is why Sam remembered this, that she had described herself as 'distracting'.
A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. He'd heard, or read, that once and had no idea what it meant at the time. Add 'hidden in a diva' and it was a description of Mercedes Jones.
His Eye Is One the Sparrow - Lauren Hill
At Seventeen – Janis Ian
The Boy from Ipanema – Diana Krall