Tabula Rosa
Chapter 1 – Life Interrupted
A young woman was running along a beach.
There was a man chasing her.
Her legs were not as long, but she was faster through the brush. She, however, burst into an open meadow, open ground where the man would have more of an advantage. She ran as quickly as she could. She turned her head to look back a second. He was already overtaking her.
He caught her and she laughed as he grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder, his hand coming to rest on her well formed bottom under her summer dress. She kicked and beat his back with her small fists, the whole time shrieking with laughter.
The man laughed to. "Keep it up and I will have my wicked way with you here." He warned looking under his arm at her as she pushed herself up against his hip.
"James!" She giggled as the hand planted on her ass dug into the muscle.
He made a noise in his throat as he shifted her, letting her fall forward, catching her gently to him and rolling so he would take the brunt of the fall. He then rolled over, sitting up as he straddled her hips, tucking his feet. He grabbed her arms as she tried to push him off, putting both her wrists in one large hand. The other moved and cupped her full breast beneath the thin cover of her dress. She was warm and beautiful as she panted under him, her hair in the soft sweet grass. Her skin was a lovely bronze from spending many hours in the sun. Her hair was a red auburn that shone in the light of the sun.
"James!" She said again struggling more, but he pinned her, leaning down so his face was inches from her own as she looked at him, her gray-blue eyes like the mists that swirled the bay in the morning.
"Yes?" He asked, his free hand planting near her shoulder.
She smiled, searching his face. "I love you."
"We are going to be married in a week." He said. "Can you believe it?"
"No." she smiled at him. She finally stopped trying to buck him off and lay there, looking up at him. "James Griffiths will finally marry." He released her hands a moment.
"Hummm make you an honest woman." He teased. He bent and kissed her lightly.
She laughed and playfully smacked his shoulder.
"Hey, ouch!" He said looking at his arm and then her. He then smiled and dropped his hands to her side.
"Oh you wouldn't…"
"Oh yes I would…" He said laughing as he caressed her lightly with nimble fingers knowing how ticklish she was.
She shrieked again, fighting until she was out of breath. He stopped after a few moments and bent, kissing her again, softly at first, feeling her pant against him, and then deepening the kiss, his tongue pressing into her mouth.
His hands shifted working under her dress to caress her bottom and then her hips. "God I love you." He murmured against her neck.
She smiled and gasped as he began to pull her dress up. "James! Someone will see!"
He smiled against her skin. "So?"
She growled. "No!"
He sighed and let his hands relax and pressed his forward to hers. "Soon it will be the two of us with a dozen children."
"A dozen?"
"Oh at least." He smiled.
She laughed and pushed him over. "I think not."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I am not going to get fat baring you a brood."
He was laughing to. "Just a couple then."
"Better." She said kissing him.
ZzZ
They were married a week later in a small simple ceremony attended by some family and friends. Elizabeth was an orphan and really did not have many members of her family or friends. She and James had met in college. She had met Miles at a party and they had dated a couple times, but at a party, she had met his best friend James. After Miles and she broke up, James asked her on a date.
Miles was a little bitter about it, but realized his friend was truly happy with Elizabeth and he could hardly begrudge his best friend since they were children that. He had been there when James had asked Elizabeth to marry him. The pair of them was perfect for each other. He made them promise to be a godparent to their firstborn.
James of course agreed with a laugh and made Miles his best man.
All three of them were twenty-six and everything seemed perfect.
James was a doting husband and sweet affection lover who loved his wife with his soul. He was happy when she got her degree in chemistry, something she loved. She was working for a pharmaceutical company. Long hours, but good benefits. James wanted to be a writer and she was more than happy to have him stay home and be a house-husband as it were. He cooked, cleaned, and raised vegetables in a garden while she worked.
She would come home, exhausted and hungry and he would feed her and then tenderly make love to her, letting her know she was loved and she was beautiful. She would at times be so tired she would fall asleep in the bath when she would take one.
He had been overjoyed when she announced her pregnancy to him, but then devastated with her when she had miscarried. He held her for two days, his own eyes and body aching from watching the pain she was in. the mental anguish that she was suffering made him hurt too. He had tried to calm her as she cried for two days straight. He gently assured her they would try again. They were young.
Finally, she had fallen into oblivion. He had lain awake caressing her hair watching her sleep. He had found her in the washroom, crying, her legs, hand, and dress stained with blood. He had taken her to the hospital with a heavy heart. He then fell asleep holding her.
It had taken more than a month for her to fully recover and it was closer to two before he asked if she wanted to try again. Sex was never a chore between them. He wanted her to be happy and he knew a baby would complete them.
He just turned twenty-seven when he got the news. He had been feeling fatigued and light headed. Finally she had urged him to go to the doctor. He had and discovered he had tumor on his neck that was growing. Being as young as he was the doctors did an aggressive surgery to be followed by chemotherapy. Rhabdomyosarcoma was treatable, but far more so in children. Still the prognosis was good after they removed the tumor and started him on the chemo.
Elizabeth was at his side for every season, holding his hands in their cold mittens. She even surprised him by shaving her head to match him as his hair fell out. He looked so tired, but he loved her for her support. He was sick from the treatment and threw up a fair amount after the sessions. Elizabeth took it in stride and gently nursed him, working half days with her boss's permission to be with him and even working from home.
After four months the cancer was in remission and James began to regain his strength. He loved his wife so much remembering all her help, love, affection, and playfulness when she was feeding him jello and pudding.
She knew he was on the mend when he had woken her and made love to her and it didn't exhaust him. He was happy and again their life seemed to be getting back to normal. They were happy, so very happy.
It was three months before James' twenty-ninth birthday when he realized something wasn't right. He went to the doctor and nearly choked. His cancer was back and this time had been found in other parts of his body including his bone marrow. They could attempt a transplant if they could find a donor. James went home looking at all the paperwork before him.
How was he going to tell his wife?
She came home to him. He had cooked a lovely meal for her, her favorite, but his red eyes and nose made her look at him.
"What is it?" She asked walking to him.
He turned away unable to face her. She wrapped his arms about him. "James…?"
"I…" His head dropped. He turned to her and put his hands on her face. "Sweetheart…My…my cancer is back…" He whispered, tears coming to his eyes.
"What?!" She gasped.
"I know…I know…" He said.
She broke free from him and turned and walked out the back door.
"Lizzy. Lizzy!" She ignored him and disappeared into the night.
He hung his head knowing this time might break her. She had been so supportive, it had been so taxing on her. She had become ill for a time. He did not want that again. He plated her food and put in the fridge, waiting for her to come home after he ate, or rather picked at his own food. She knew the area, but still, it was dark. Where had she gone?
It was nearly two hours later she came into the light from the house. Her eyes were puffy and her knuckles were bloody as though she had been punching something in anger. He looked up from where he stood looking, waiting for her to come home to him. He had almost been ready to go after her.
He came out the door. "Where were you? I was worried." He whispered softly taking a step toward her.
She took a step backward, but then her hand went to her head and she dropped to the ground. "I…" She felt so faint suddenly. "James…"
"Elizabeth!" He cried.
She whimpered as he dropped to his knees beside her, his hands going to her head and body, checking for damage. He then wrapped his arms about her, lifting her to him, and then up in his arms. She went limp in his arms, her head flopping back over his arm.
"Oh God. Lizzy!" He gasped bringing her into the house. He laid her body on the couch before calling for an ambulance to come.
He knelt by her head, gently caressing her face, checking her breathing and heartbeat. "Oh Lizzy…"
The paramedics collected her. Her blood pressure was low. James called his parents and then hopped up into the ambulance as they rode to the hospital. They got an IV started and still she did not wake.
It was nearly dawn before her eyes fluttered. James had spoken with the doctors. He looked at his wife. She looked so small and pale on the sheets. The doctor told him she had been suffered from extremely low blood sugar and blood pressure due to pregnancy. She was more than two months along.
How had James missed her period not being there? He shook his head and thanked the doctor. He went to Elizabeth's side. He took her hand. When she opened her eyes, he looked at her, tears in his own as he cupped her hand. "I love you." He whispered.
"I know…"
"Why did you leave?"
"I…I just couldn't handle that after my day…" She looked down. "I'm sorry."
He touched her face. "I am so happy and yet so sad."
"What?"
"You're pregnant." He whispered kissing her wrist. "I want you to be happy. To have the baby as a memory of me."
"We don't know if the cancer is that bad. We can treat it again. I can force you to eat lime jello again." She said her eyes searching his face.
"Elizabeth…" He closed his eyes and swallowed. "They gave me three to six months." A tear dropped. "I will not live to see thirty and I will not be here when the baby comes." He laid a hand on her belly.
"We do nothing?!" She cried.
"Lizzy…calm yourself…" He whispered. "For the baby…"
She took a breath. "I…"
"Sweetheart. I don't want to go, but…"
They held each other and sobbed.
Their perfect world was being robbed from them.
ZzZ
Three months later…
It was James's twenty-ninth birthday.
He would not live to see thirty.
He was going with his mates to James's favorite beach at Barafundle Bay. Elizabeth was joining them as well over her husband's objections, but he finally conceded when Miles did not show any signs of coming. They had been there several times when they were together, when James was well. It was where he had proposed to her and won her affection. It was where he had played with his mates while she watched. It was where he had taken her for their honeymoon and made love to her under the stars.
All those happy memories…
He wanted to remember them.
Miles had been out of Jame's life for nearly two years. Lizzy had missed him. She had help with James now. Davy, a mate from school had lost his job. She was grateful for his help and perseverance even as her belly grew.
She was more than five months along, nearly six, her abdomen was swollen like a ripe fruit with the child that her husband would likely never meet.
She, Chloe, his elder sister, her daughters, and his parents buzzed around the home making ready for the birthday party. Upstairs, James and Davy were getting dressed. Lizzy came up stairs and came in as Davy was helping James get on his shoe.
She smiled. "Are you two ready?"
"Nearly." James smiled at her.
She sighed. He had become weaker in the last month, needing a cane to walk and needing powerful drugs to combat the pain to make it manageable. He was terminal. It was hard for her to face, but she did with a braver face than Chloe. Chloe wept often and had even acted hostile toward Lizzy one more than one occasion for allowing herself to become pregnant by her terminally ill brother. James had broken up the verbal hostility telling his sister that he was happy for his coming baby and it gave him hope to fight, though the fight was hard and he knew he was losing.
He hardly had the strength to make love to his wife anymore. She seemed to take it in stride, but it angered him and he lashed out about it. She thought his rage was aimed at her and so had rolled over, quivering. He had cooled and come to her, kissing her shoulder, begging forgiveness for his outburst. He explained himself and she relaxed.
Davy helped James down the stairs and to the table. James sat down heavily as those about fluttered bringing food and drinks. Lizzy looked beautiful. She was glowing with her belly high under her chin as she walked, or more waddled about holding things.
They all ate and then she brought out a cake. They sang to James and he smiled. He blew out the candles and Elizabeth hugged him gently and kissed his cheek. He got up and walked into the yard. Outside he took a breath. Lizzy watched him go and then collapse in a chair, his hat protecting him from the sun as he stretched his legs before him. His mother moved to follow, but Lizzy shook her head at her and she sighed and moved the other way.
Bill came to her and smiled. "Hi." He said.
The Scotsman was the fun-loving man who had built the cart for James to ride in. He would not be able to walk the way so he had built a cart for him and had a tree that he had grown from seed to plant where James wanted as a memorial to him.
Miles arrived, James' dearest friend. He greeted everyone in the house and then turned to Lizzy who was watching James as she stood near the door. He looked at her. "You look well."
"It has been a while." She said.
"I missed you too."
She rolled her eyes. "Go on then." She said.
He ducked and hugged her, kissing her cheek. "I will then." He walked out and looked at James as Elizabeth watched them.
"Miles." James said.
"You look like shit." Miles said looking at him. I thought they'd stuck you out here 'cos you'd snuffed it." He said.
James looked up at him. "Having a pretty good day rhabdomyosarcoma-wise –"
"You, You, You. Jesus…" Miles started and then sighed.
James laughed. "How are you? You look amazing."
"Thank you, James. I think you're right." They looked at each other. Mile coughed. "Lizzy looks amazing."
"I know." James said looking back toward where she was, leaning against the door, a hand on the expanse of her womb. He looked back at Miles. "Wish me Happy Birthday." He said softly.
"Shit. Is it your Birthday?"
James smiled.
Davy, Bill, and Lizzy came to them smiling.
ZzZ
The next morning the group was packed.
James had insisted that his wife have a scan before they went. He sat beside her after the party, nearly exhausted, but wanting to see his child, to hear the heartbeat for perhaps the last time. He had started to weep hearing the sound of the heartbeat, but there was something different this time.
He frowned in concern as the nurse made a note of it. However, she then did a scan and revealed the reason for the echo sound. Elizabeth was carrying twins. His hand went to his mouth. It explained the size of her already even though she was only a little bit passed halfway.
The babies were healthy, but did not want to reveal their sexes since they were wrapped about each other. James was alright with the picture that was printed. He held it reverently, as his wife dressed again. Being a father was so much more real to him now. He longed to feel them move within her. Soon, the nurse had told him.
On the way home she regarded him. "What?" She asked.
"Twins. I fathered twins."
She smiled and took his hand.
"Do you think they will look like me?"
"I hope they have your eyes and smile." She said softly.
He smiled at her. "I hope they look like you."
She smiled sadly and he took her hand in his. He kissed it. Once home she and Davy helped him into the bed and he was asleep nearly before his head hit the pillow. She smiled at Davy and wished him a good night before she dressed for bed and climbed in with her husband.
She kissed his pale brow. "I love you so much James." She whispered. She then sighed, dropping to her knees and folding her hands to pray. She was not religious, but maybe, she prayed, someone would hear her and not take him from her.
A hand touched her hands. She looked up at James' eyes looking at her as he leaned over to her. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?"
"You hate church."
"Hate is a strong word."
"But you are praying."
"Every little bit can help." She said lifting herself up. She climbed into bed with him.
He laid on his pillow and looked at her. "Why are you praying?"
"For you." She said.
"For me? To make sure my soul is safe?" He asked with a sardonic look.
"No. Begging mercy for you to stay with me."
He looked at her sad and gentle. "Oh."
He leaned to her and kissed her. "I am so sorry…" He whispered. The illness was his burden, but the tragedy was hers and his parents. No parent should outlive their children and all parents should be able to welcome their children into the world.
"I know." She sighed and touched his forehead. "Go to sleep, James."
He looked at her as she settled down, closing her eyes. He touched her cheek. Her eyes opened. "Are you in pain?"
"No." He said.
She nodded.
"Just letting my fingers touch and remember you. You are glowing in the moonlight. So beautiful. I want to remember you like this."
"Fat and pregnant?"
"Beautiful and carrying my children." He corrected.
She sighed and nodded. "I love you James." She took a hand. "So much. It isn't fair. We aren't even thirty yet. I don't want to be a widow."
"I don't want to make you one." He said.
She nodded and started to cry as she turned from him.
"Lizzy…" He whispered. He snuggled against her, his body pressing to her, his hands on her. "Please…don't cry. It hurt so much to see you sad…"
She nodded taking his hand and pulling him closer. "I know…I'm sorry…my nerves and emotions are…so…"
"I know. I was told hormones are rough."
She nodded again, slowly quieting and enjoying his closeness. She kissed his palm and then laid it on her belly.
He smiled at the quiet possession of it.