Mission Impossible: Tame the Uzumaki
It was a sunny day on Konoha. The villagers were happy and satisfied, the ninjas were satisfied, the Council Elders were satisfied, and just about everyone was satisfied. Yes, a happy day indeed. Except for the Hokage.
The Fourth Hokage and famous Yellow Flash of Konoha, Minato Namikaze was doing paperwork like the average Kage usually does. But this time, he was more anxious and stressed than the average Kage. His long-term girlfriend had declared her older sister was coming to Konoha for a visit. This came as news for even the red head.
Kushina Uzumaki thought that her whole family died along with Whirlpool Country. Apparently not because just a few days ago, the couple received a letter in their mail stating that Teruko Uzumaki, self-proclaimed older sister of Kushina, has decided to grace her imouto with her and her daughter's presence. Kushina was beyond pleased; she was elated and decided to cook dinner for all of them.
Minato didn't complain. This just served as an excuse to eat more of his girlfriend's cooking, it was heavenly. What he was really worried about was Teruko's daughter, Kyoko Uzumaki. The kid was probably somewhere around four years old but if she was anything like how Kushina used to be, even demons wouldn't want to step anywhere near Konoha. He voiced his opinion to his girlfriend; however Kushina just smacked him upside his head and told him he was just being silly.
And here Minato waited, at the gates with Kushina. In the distance, a caravan could be seen approaching. Minato shifted nervously. Kushina dismissed his movement as excitement.
When the caravan arrived at the gates and dropped off its occupants, said occupants gave a warm hug to Kushina. Well only one of them, the younger one just stood there with a fox toy in hand and staring curiously at the Yellow Flash.
"Onee-chan, y-you're alive! You're really alive!" Kushina exclaimed as tears escaped her eyes while hugging her onee-chan.
"I know, Kushina, I know! I promise I'll explain everything." Teruko cried.
"Over dinner?"
"Oh imouto, you shouldn't have!"
"I insist."
While the females chatted, Minato turned his attention to the four-year-old girl. She looked normal, a little red haired girl innocently clutching her toy while openly staring at the Hokage. Still, it wouldn't hurt to proceed with caution.
Kneeling down before the little girl so that they faced each other, Minato smiled at her with his Hiraishin ready to teleport him somewhere safe any minute.
"Hey there." Minato cooed "What's your name, child?"
The girl's gaze never left the Namikaze's eyes. This made said Namikaze more uncomfortable. "The name's Kyoko. Kyoko Uzumaki. I know who you are, Kaa-chan told me. You're the Yellow Flasher!" Kyoko exclaimed.
Minato felt like a bull hit him square in the face when this child called him the "Yellow Flasher". Kushina, hearing their exchange burst into a fit of laughter while Teruko frowned.
"Kyoko-chan, it's not 'Yellow Flasher', it's 'Yellow Flash'." Teruko scolded.
"Yellow Flasher!" Kyoko persisted.
Teruko and Minato sighed.
"I'm so sorry, Minato-san! Usually Kyoko-chan has good reasons for what she does and says…" Teruko apologized.
"That's 'cuz 'Yellow Flasher' is better than 'Yellow Flash'. 'Yellow Flasher' sounds tame compared to 'Yellow Flash', which is actually a euphemism for a male releasing urine." Kyoko explained.
"Uh…" Kushina was dumbfounded. Never had she heard a four-year-old say such big words or even think of such things! The couple turned their heads to an embarrassed Teruko sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck.
"Well, how about we talk this over dinner?" she suggested.
"Yeah sure. And you better tell me everything." Kushina stressed the word 'everything'. "And I hope you wouldn't mind a friend of mine and her son joining us would you?"
"Oh of course not!"
Taking the little red head in her arms, Teruko followed her little sister and her future brother-in-law to their house.
"Who else is coming? Why wasn't I told?" Minato whispered as he leant in closer to his girlfriend's ear.
"Relax, Minato, it's just Mikoto-chan and Itachi-kun." Kushina reassured.
Minato let out a sigh of relief. He had no problem with Itachi, the kid was quiet and polite and, if Fugaku's boasting was anything to go by, a promising ninja in the future.
Itachi was the same age as Kyoko, and they're both quite smart. Even so they're also polar opposites. Kyoko was loud and brash while Itachi was silent and well-mannered. He wondered how this would turn out, probably with Kyoko being the one to start a fight.
…
Dinner was long, very long. It felt like the longest dinner Minato had ever had. He occasionally got bits of food in his hair when Kyoko got bored and flicked it on her spoon. He didn't know whether it was coincidence, because he foolishly sat opposite of her, or if she was doing it deliberately because all the food fell down on his hair. Little Itachi tried to stop her but she just stuck her tongue out at him and called him a stuck up prick-who-thinks-he's-so-cool-pansy. Where Kyoko learned all these words Minato will never know, certainly not from her mother.
Speaking of mothers, the other three females were certainly spending their fair share of time talking about whatever women talk about these days. Desert came about and Minato and Itachi got the shock of their lives to see how Kyoko ate her ice cream. She certainly ate faster than an elephant eating a spoonful of it, how she didn't get brain-freeze was a mystery.
When dinner was finished, the couple led their guests to the living room where they chatted some more. Unfortunately for him, Kushina left the kids to Minato for him to entertain. At this point, the blonde really wanted to do some Hokage work, it was much better than babysitting the little red haired demon in a human's body.
Deciding he didn't actually have to do anything, Minato sat down on a couch and watched Kyoko and Itachi argue it out on some kiddie thing.
"Swords are better!" Kyoko yelled.
"I think shurikens are more effective." Itachi stated calmly.
"Shurikens are small! Swords are flashier and they show just how cool you are!"
"Shurikens are pin-point accurate and more clean in delivering death." Okay, so what the toddlers were talking about wasn't exactly 'kiddie stuff'.
"Che! Shurikens miss their targets most of the time. Swords could be clean too; just a quick stab should do it."
"Swords are bigger, heavier, and you can't hide them up your sleeves."
"If you know seals you can!"
"You know fuuinjutsu?"
"Naturally!" here Kyoko looked smug "I may suck at taijutsu and ninjutsu but, as an Uzumaki, I have to be good at seals."
This caught not only Minato's but also Kushina's attention at the mention of seals. Asking Teruko the silent question, said red haired mother chuckled.
"Ah, Kyo-chan's fuuinjutsu is rather legendary, even at the price of her below-average ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu. But she's a prodigy at seals!" Teruko boasted.
"Ah well, it's only expected of an Uzumaki." Mikoto said.
"But Kyo-chan is a fuuinjutsu prodigy even among Uzumaki standards!"
"Wow, that's amazing. Speaking of seals, Minato and I want to show you this special one we made…"
And with that Kushina led the women to another room, Minato grudgingly following them and leaving the kids alone.
…
When the adults came back to the living room, they were faced with a scene that made Minato's jaw drop and the women coo and cheer and cat-call.
On the floor lay Itachi on his back with Kyoko straddling his waist, one hand holding up his collar so his face was closer to her's.
To the kids, they were in the middle of a fight, which got interrupted when the women started fussing over them and taking pictures. To the adults, their posture suggested a lot more than a simple fight.
While a laughing Teruko took a picture of the two children, Kyoko got shy and unknowingly hugged Itachi while still on the ground in an attempt to get away from the camera. This only made the women cheer even louder and take more pictures.
Minato sighed. Even if this was the demon-like girl and the quiet boy he was talking about, they sure looked cute together even if their position wasn't intended.
"You know Minato," Mikoto's voice alerted the Hokage to her presence in front of him "Itachi-chan and Kyoko-chan have made more progress than you and Kushina-chan have." Minato turned red as Mikoto gave an evil wink.
…
That night, Mikoto was making heart-felt goodbyes to her friends. Unbeknownst to them, Itachi stepped closer to Kyoko. This was not missed by Minato.
"Today was…fun. We'll see each other again maybe?" Itachi blushed slightly.
Kyoko stared at him and then smiled "Yeah, sure. You come around to play next time okay?"
Kyoko's smile made the four-year-old Uchiha to blush even more. His mother then led him out. Itachi looked back frequently at Kyoko who stood by the door, waving, until they were out of sight.
Today was certainly an interesting day. Minato made a reminder to buy Itachi some sweets as a reward for taming an Uzumaki girl the same way he tamed his Uzumaki girl. Love in small children was just too cute; Minato realized why women make a fuss all over things like that.
…
Author's Note
Heya, this is my first one-shot. I was just chilling one day when this idea just popped into my head, so I just made it into this one-shot here.
It was inspired when my relatives and I found my youngest cousin and niece in that very same position at an after-wedding party, except on the couch and there was no fight. Only two people heard me but I said, "Those two had made more progress than the bride and groom!" Haha. I hope you liked this fanfic!
DoGB