HALLOWEEN CHAOS!
By Tifa Lockhart and Golden-Sephy
Welcome to Halloween Chaos! This is yet another chapter to my series of 'Chaos' fics that feature FFVII-X, plus Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross characters celebrating a holiday with craziness. (But it's not a continuation, so you don't have to read the other 'Chaos' fics before this one. Although it would be easier to understand some of the weird crap that goes on.) As in 'Valentine's Day Chaos!', one of my friends are co- authoring this fic--it's Golden-Sephy this time. ^^ She'll be Re in the fic, her sidekick is Takt (or Silver-Sephy). And as usual, I'm Akari and my sidekick is Ryu. Enjoy the fic!
And guess what, everyone? AERIS IS GONNA BE IN THE FIC!!! Yes, I know I'm known to leave Aeris out and replace her with Shera. Well, I like all the FF characters as of a month or something ago. *takes out a voodoo doll of Aeris with pins sticking in* See? *notices pins* Uh... Where'd those come from? *takes out pins* Yes... I'll just get rid of these pins... *eye twitches* Oh, and Shera's still gonna be in the fic. For all you Shera fans. Hello? Any Shera fans here? *silence* Eh. Let's just get on with the fic.
Disclaimer: As with all disclaimers, I don't own--*gets whacked with a hammer* O.o Uh, that came a little early. Well, I don't own anything.
~*CH. 1*~
As all the 'Chaos' fics start, the FFVII cast--Aeris and Shera included-- are in Tifa's Seventh Heaven. But something's different...
Cloud: It's...so...boring...
Yes, everyone's bored. Usually, there's craziness going on at night at the bar. And especially on a holiday.
Tifa: Hmm... Something's different.
Yuffie suddenly runs into the room, dressed as Seymour. She runs around, secretly searching everyone's pockets for Materia as she says boring useless crap.
Yuffie: Hey everyone! Happy Halloween!
Aeris: ...What? Halloween?
Everyone: *notices Aeris* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: ???
Tifa: Sorry, we thought you were dead.
Aeris: I know. I am.
Everyone: ... *edges away from Aeris*
Aeris: Anyway, back to Yuffie.
Everyone: ...Yuffie? *all notice Yuffie* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yuffie: What?
Red XIII: You're so... UGLY!!! *covers eyes*
Yuffie: Oh, this costume? It's Seymour from FFX.
Cait Sith: *in a slurry voice* Sey-mour? FFX?
Yuffie: ...He's just an ugly guy.
Cait Sith: We figured that out already.
Cloud: Wow. His hair outdoes mine.
Vincent: And why are you dressed like that?
Yuffie: It's Halloween!
Everyone: Huh?
Yuffie: You know, the day when kids dress up as stuff and go out and steal candy?
Shera: I think I've heard of that. But we're all too old to trick or treat.
Yuffie: But we still can.
Barret: That would be illegal, though!
Yuffie: Who cares? There are no cops in Midgar.
Cloud: Yeah... *starts getting ideas*
Tifa: How bout we just have a Halloween party, though?
Aeris: Yeah, let's PARTY!!! *takes off shirt*
Everyone: *stares at Aeris* O.O OH GOD.
Aeris: Uh... *puts shirt back on* Sorry.
Cloud: That...was...torture. *rubs eyes*
Tifa: ...Anyway, let's get costumes on!
Everyone rushes off to find costumes.
Yuffie: Well, I guess I'm the only one who's ready. *smiles evilly* I might as well not waste this time.
Suddenly Re, Takt, Akari, and Ryu appear. Re and Takt are in cute Sephiroth outfits with only their hair colors separating their looks--Re's hair is gold, Takt's is silver. And Akari is of course, in a Tifa outfit, with Ryu in a Cloud outfit. -_-;;
Yuffie: Eek!
Akari: -_-;; Is it that bad? *examines outfit*
Yuffie: Yes!
Akari: ... *whacks Yuffie on the head*
Yuffie: *rubs head* Erm... Who are you all and what are you doing here?
Re: Let me explain. We're all authoring this fanfic.
Yuffie: Uh... Okay. Now excuse me.
Yuffie runs to the phone.
Takt: Are you gonna invite a million FF people like the last two times?
Yuffie: Yep! ^_^
All the authors: YAY!!!
Takt: We'll all go get the FF people over here, then!
All the authors disappear. Meanwhile in the FFVIII world... Squall, Rinoa, Seifer, Zell, Laguna, Selphie, Quistis, Irvine, and Raine are in Squall's room at the SeeD dorms.
Rinoa: So... Today is Halloween.
Squall: Whatever.
Quistis: When are we gonna go ruin Cid's office?
Squall: Whatever.
Laguna: Aren't you kids gonna get in trouble for that?
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Stop saying 'whatever'!!
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: AAAARRGH!! *whacks Squall with a random object*
Squall: ...Okay, I'm done.
Quistis: -_-;; Anyway, back to the prank we were gonna play on Cid.
Raine: Are you serious about that?! You really want poor Cid to walk into his office to find it looking like this?!
Raine holds up a photo of Seymour's room, which is pink all over. There are posters of Barbie dolls and girly crap everywhere. His stuff is all pink and fluffy. Seymour is in the middle of the room, dressed like 'Beach Barbie'--in a really small bikini--and smiling for the camera. O_O
Squall: O.o *examines the picture* Wow. How'd you get that photo?
Raine: Er... I found it? *smiles nervously*
Squall: Good. I was pretty sure that my mother wasn't cheating on Laguna with Seymour. Come on, you're much better than that.
Raine: ...
Laguna: ...
Everyone: ...
Squall: ...Mom?
Raine: *sweatdrop*
Selphie: O.o Anyways, can't we find anything better to do?
Irvine: Yeah, like have a strip party!!
All the guys: YEAH!!!
Seifer: All the women can strip while we watch!
Selphie: Yeah, great idea!
Rinoa, Raine, and Quistis glare at Selphie.
Selphie: What? It'll be fun. Let's start now. *takes off shirt*
All the guys: *stare at Selphie* :D
Selphie: ^_^ Come on, you three.
Rinoa: Oh, what the heck.
Quistis: Yeah.
Quistis, Raine, and Rinoa take off their shirts. O.o Suddenly, the phone rings.
Seifer: *finally takes eyes off Rinoa, Raine, Selphie, and Quistis* ...What if it's Cid and he knows that we're all planning to destroy his office?
Squall: I'm not picking it up!
Rinoa: Let's just let it ring.
The phone rings for half an hour. Everyone is silent.
Rinoa: ...AAARRGH!!! I can't take it anymore!!!
Rinoa grabs the phone.
Rinoa: Hello?
Yuffie: Hi!!!
Rinoa: ...Oh, Yuffie.
Everyone: *breathes out*
Rinoa: What do you want?
Yuffie: Wanna come to a Halloween party?
Rinoa: A Halloween party? Sure!
Yuffie: Okay! Bring everyone you know!
Rinoa: Okay... *laughs evilly*
Yuffie: O.o
Rinoa: Sorry.
Rinoa and Yuffie hang up. Suddenly, the authors appear.
Akari: Hiiii!!! Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, put your shirts on.
The three do so.
Rinoa: *sigh* Not you people again...
Re: Do we know you?
Rinoa: I don't really know.
Takt: We're here to take you to Tifa's.
Squall: And how will we get there?
Akari: I'll zap you. I'm a sorceress, after all. ^^
Rinoa: Eek! *moves away from Akari*
Akari: ...Oookay. Let's go.
Zell: Wait! We need costumes!
Akari zaps all the FFVIII people and their clothes turn into random costumes.
Selphie: *examining costume* Hey, I'm Card Captor Sakura!!! ^-^
Rinoa: I'm a... Erm... Hmm...
Re: That appears to be a tomato.
Rinoa: Cool, I love tomatos!
Re: -_-;;
Irvine: I'm... A woman?
Akari: Yep! It fits your personality.
Irvine: What...the...hell...
Zell: You're so lucky!
Irvine: O.o
Zell: Uh... I mean... A woman is a better costume in comparison to Kero from CCS.
Irvine: Actually, no it's not.
Zell: Er... Forget you heard everything I just said.
Irvine: Consider it done. *bangs head onto a metal pan*
Zell: O.o
Selphie: Woohoo, he fainted!
Irvine: No, not yet. *suddenly falls over, knocked out*
Squall: Er... Anyway... Do I HAVE to be a lobster?
Akari: Yeah. You look much better in the costume than Rinoa would have.
Squall: ...?
Laguna: Hey, I'm a crab!
Raine: And I'm a shrimp! Wow, our family matches!
Squall: Noooooo!!!!
Quistis: What am I supposed to be?!
Akari: A Playboy bunny!
Quistis: Where the hell do you come up with these things?!
Akari: Er... *sweatdrop* Nowhere... *looks for a place to hide*
Ryu: Let's just go.
Irvine gets revived and Akari zaps everyone away. Meanwhile in Alexandria castle in the FFIX world... Dagger is walking around, dressed in her Queen outfit. Zidane walks over. He's dressed as a monkey, obviously.
Zidane: Hiii!!
Dagger: *sigh* Hello...
Zidane: Is that your costume? It's horrid!
Dagger: !!! *whacks Zidane with her rod*
Zidane: *falls over and faints*
Dagger: Cool, no one that I hit has actually fainted before this!
Vivi runs in, dressed as a cute little carrot. o.O
Dagger: What the... A carrot?
Vivi: Yep. ^-^
Dagger: Erm... Okay...
Vivi: I wanna trick or treat!
Dagger: I'm busy.
Vivi: Doing what?
Dagger: ...Stripping! Yeah, that's it!
Vivi: Oh, as usual. Can I watch?
Dagger: O.o Uh...
Steiner runs in, wearing a Pikachu outfit. O.o
Dagger: Steiner, go take Vivi trick or treating.
Steiner: I can't, Your Majesty. I'm looking for Meowth.
Dagger: o.O Do it.
Steiner: No.
Dagger: Come on.
Steiner: No!
Dagger: AAAAAARRRGH!!! THAT'S IT!!!
Dagger goes into a crazy rampage, smacks Steiner's head with her rod, and jumps out the window.
Vivi: O.o What was that?!?!?! Everyone's dead now!!
Vivi examines Steiner and Zidane.
Vivi: Oh well. ^-^
Suddenly the phone rings. Vivi picks it up.
Vivi: *doing a crappy imitation of Dagger's voice* Hello?
Yuffie: Hey Dagger. Wanna come to a Halloween party at Tifa's?
Vivi: Okay. *hangs up*
Yuffie: That was quick... *hangs up*
Vivi: That was too easy. Well, a party... I better go get someone to take me.
Suddenly, the FFVIII crew and the authors appear.
Takt: Hey Vivi! Where is everyone?
Vivi: Well, Dagger jumped out the window and you're standing on Zidane and Steiner.
Takt: *looks down to see Steiner and Zidane below his feet* Erm... Oops. *steps off*
Vivi: It's okay, Takt, you can keep standing on them.
Takt: Yay!
Takt steps back on Zidane and Steiner. A few crunching sounds are heard. O.o
Akari: -_-;; We're gonna take you to Tifa's party now.
Vivi: But I wanna trick or treat!
Akari: Too damn bad! *laughs evilly*
Everyone: O.o
Akari: ...Sorry. Now let's get these two up.
Takt steps off Zidane and Steiner. Akari zaps them, awaking them.
Akari: Now, let's go find Dagger.
Zidane: Wait, what's going on? And why is my back broken?
Steiner: Mine too?
Takt: ^.^;; I didn't do anything.
Re: -_-;; Takt... Anyway, we're going to take you all to Tifa's Halloween party.
Zidane: Woohoo, chicks! I hope some are dressed as Playboy bunnies!
Akari: Quistis?
Quistis: NOOOOO!!!!!
Zidane: Yeah!!!
Quistis: Changeitchangeitchangeit!!!
Akari: No.
Zidane: *jumps at Quistis*
Quistis: Eeeek!! *whacks Zidane away*
Akari: Oh great, he's unconscious again.
Quistis: Keep him that way!
Akari: Fine, fine. Now for Dagger.
Akari zaps Dagger over.
Dagger: *shaking all over, eyes red* M-must...kill...Steiner...
Takt: *examines Dagger's hair* Wow... It's long... Pretty...
Dagger: *gets out of trance* Oh, @#$%.
Takt runs after Dagger, trying to catch her hair.
Re: *smacks own forehead* Rekka Shinen!!!
Re takes out her weapon, the Tessen--an iron fan. She uses it on Takt, blowing flames all over his body.
Takt: *realizes he's burned* AAAAHHH!!!!
Re: ^^
Takt: *rolls on the ground* Heeeeelp!!!!!
Akari: Should I?
Re: Yeah, he's had enough.
Akari: *uses Water on Takt*
Takt: *wet all over* Can I still see your hair?
Dagger: NO!!
Re: Er... Let's just go.
Akari zaps everyone away. Meanwhile in the FFX world... Wakka is playing Blitzball inside a sphere in Besaid and Tidus, Yuna, Auron, Kimahri, Rikku, and Lulu are outside, watching him.
Tidus: *sigh* This is so boring...
Wakka turns to Tidus.
Wakka: What did you sa--
Suddenly, someone throws a blitzball at Wakka, hitting him out of the sphere.
Wakka: Oww... The game is over, ya?
Yuna: It's so boring. And it's Halloween.
Rikku: We should have a party or something.
Suddenly Seymour runs runs over, dressed in a baboon suit.
Seymour: Hey guys! Wanna come to my house? I'm having a party!
Rikku: Erm, no...
Yuna: But Rikku, you just said--
Rikku: *covers Yuna's mouth* Heh heh heh.
Yuna: *bites Rikku's hand*
Lulu: *sigh* You immature brats. Is this gonna go on forever?
Rikku: Yes! She nearly ate my hand off!!! *bites Yuna's hand*
Seymour: O.o Er... Kay.
Suddenly, something rings. Seymour takes a pretty little pink cell phone that's decorated with flower stickers and says 'Seymour' in cute pink letters on it out of his pocket.
Everyone: *looks at the phone* O.O
Rikku: *swirly-eyed* @.@
Seymour: *into phone* Hello?
Yuffie: Hi! Wanna come to Tifa's party today?
Seymour: Sure.
Yuffie: Kay, bring everyone.
Seymour: Sure.
Seymour takes out some pretty pink stationery decorated with flowers and bunnies out of his pocket, along with a pen to match.
Everyone: *stares* Oh... My... God...
Seymour: *writes onto the paper* Hmm... I'll have to invite Ken, and Barbie, and... Oh yeah, Kelly too.
Everyone: O_O
Seymour: Okay, there we go. *hangs up* We're going to a party.
Everyone: Woohoo!!!
Seymour: Wait. You all didn't want to come to my party.
Yuna: Well, to be honest, we hate your parties.
Lulu: Yeah. You always decorate the place with Barbie stuff.
Rikku: And serve crap in Barbie plates and cups and have cakes with Barbie's face on them... And you even dress like Barbie... *shudders*
Seymour: Yep, I love Barbie. But doesn't everyone?
Everyone: ...
Suddenly the authors appear with the FFIX and FFVIII people.
Re: Did Yuffie tell you that you're all going to a party?
Wakka: Ya.
Re: Good.
Tidus: Do we have to?
Akari: Yes, you whiny-ass Leonardo Di Caprio copying blonde.
Tidus: Erm... Alright.
Akari zaps everyone away. Meanwhile in the Chrono Trigger world, Crono is sitting in his room reading something. The phone rings and he picks it up.
Yuffie: Hello, Crono?
Crono: *tries to talk but no sound comes out*
Yuffie: Uh, yeah. Wanna come to Tifa's party? Invite everyone.
Crono: *tries again*
Yuffie: Sure, whatever. Now bye. *hangs up*
Crono: *hangs up and resumes reading*
Marle runs into the room.
Marle: Hiiiii!!!
Crono: *sigh*
Marle: Why aren't you talking?
Crono: ...
Marle: Talk.
Crono: ...
Marle: Come on!!
Crono: ...
Marle: Fine, you tone-deaf freak!
The authors appear with the FFVIII-X people.
Ryu: We're taking you to Tifa's Halloween party. Where's everyone else?
Crono: *tries to talk*
Akari: -_-;; *zaps Crono* You always talk in my fics.
Crono: Not in this one. ^^
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *jump back*
Akari: YOU FREAK!!!
Crono: What?
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!
Crono: ...
Akari: That's better. Now, what are you doing?
Akari looks at Crono's magazine.
Akari: What...the...@#$%...
Crono is reading a porn mag. He's staring at a giant centerfold of a naked woman. Crono reaches for a photo of Marle on his desk. He cuts her head out and glues it down onto the centerfold, so it's a random naked woman with Marle's head. Crono smiles and stares at the picture.
Everyone: O_O;; Marle: YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!
Marle takes out her crossbow and shoots Crono, who falls on the floor and faints.
Marle: ^_^
Akari: Er... Let's just go.
Akari zaps over Lucca, who is wearing nothing but a bath towel.
Lucca: Huh?... *sees everyone* AAAAAAAHHH!!!
Re: You're going to Tifa's Halloween party.
Lucca: I don't wanna!
Re: This is against your will.
Lucca: Nooooo!!! Why do you have to control my life?!
Re: Cause you're my slave. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *stares at Re* O.o
Re: ...Sorry.
Takt: -_-;; She's always like that.
Re: *eye twitches* ...
Takt: ...Oh, @#$%. *turns around and runs*
Re: *takes out weapon* DIIIEEEE!!!
Akari: *sigh* Calm down...
Re: *puts back weapon and stares at Takt evilly*
Takt: *stops running* Yay, I got away!!!
Lucca: ...Can we just go now?
Ryu: Everyone needs costumes.
Marle runs out of the room and runs back in a minute later, wearing a Playboy bunny outfit.
Marle: ^_~
Akari: O.o God, that costume's horrid...
Marle: !!! *whacks Akari*
Akari: You have no right to do that! *burns Marle with Firaga*
Marle: *scorched* Okay, sure... *falls over*
Akari: ^^ Do you have any costumes ready, Lucca?
Lucca: No.
Akari: Then I'll have to make you one. ^_~
Lucca: Eeek!!
Akari zaps Lucca and she's instantly wearing an outfit just like Marle's.
Lucca: -_-;; This isn't funny.
Authors: Yes it is!!
Akari: Finally, Crono.
Akari revives Crono.
Crono: I have my own outfit, if you're planning to make me a Playboy bunny too.
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HE TALKED AGAIN!!!
Crono: -_-;; Will you stop doing that?
Everyone: Okay.
Crono: O.o Thanks.
Akari: *smiles evilly* You know, you'd look good as a Play--
Crono: ...NO.
Crono takes out an outfit exactly like Serge's and puts it on.
Crono: ^-^
Akari: ...Oookay. Let's go now.
Akari zaps everyone away. And finally, in the Chrono Cross world... Serge is shown on Opassa Beach. He's alone and looking out at sea.
Serge: Heeheehee... Time for some fun!!
Serge strips down to nothing O.O and runs into the water. A few moments later, he's completely underwater. Bubbles appear as if he's trying to breathe. Suddenly Leena runs onscreen.
Leena: Sergey!!!
Leena notices the bubbles.
Leena: O.o *runs into the water and pulls Serge out*
Serge: *gasping for air* Thanks...
Leena: Why are you naked?
Serge: *shrugs*
Leena: Er... O.o You got a phone call. Some kid named Yuffie wants you to come to a party.
Serge: Yay!
Leena: Hey... Are you cheating on me?!?!
Serge: No.
Leena: Just like last time with that 'Kidd' girl...
Serge: *millions of sweatdrops* Uh... I don't know what you're talking about...
Leena: I KNEW IT!! YOU ARE!!!
Leena's eyes turn red.
Serge: Oh, @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*.
Leena whacks Serge with a spatula, knocking him out. Suddenly the authors appear with the FFVIII-X, plus CT people.
Ryu: Hi Leena.
Leena: Er... You're standing on Serge...
Ryu: *looks down* Why's he naked?
Leena: *shrugs* Just step off him.
Ryu: I don't wanna. *jumps up and down*
Akari: Stop that! Serge is hot!
Leena: WHAT?!?!?!?
Ryu: HEY!!!
Akari: ^^;; He is!
Leena: *eye twitches*
Ryu: You cheated on me!!!
Ryu jumps at Akari and smacks her with a flail.
Leena: *watching from a few feet away* WOOHOO!!! GO RYU!!!
Re: *smacks own forehead* I don't know them...
Takt: Yes you do! That's Akari and Ryu. And they seem to be fighting over Serge.
Re: O.o Just pretend I don't know them.
Takt: But you do!!!
Re: That's it... REKKA SHINEN!!!
Re takes out her iron fan, the Tessen, and uses it on Takt. Flames shoot all over the place and he's knocked out instantly.
Everyone: O.o
Akari: Er... A little help?
Re: Sure. ^^ Rekka Shinen!!!!! *uses Tessen on Ryu*
Ryu: *blink blink* *falls over*
Akari: ^_^ Thanks. Now, we can go get Kidd and Harle and take them to Tifa's.
Re: Leena, go get them.
Leena: No. I hate you all!!
Akari: *sigh* Fine, I'll do it myself...
Akari zaps Kidd and Harle over. Lynx is with them.
Akari: Lynx, what are you doing here?
Lynx: I dunno... But I sure wasn't making out with Kidd...
Everyone: O.O !!!!!!!
Kidd: *sounding casual* What? He wasn't.
Akari: Er... Alright.
Serge suddenly awakens.
Serge: Wha?... Kidd made out with my father?... *fully conscious now* HEY!!! YOU CHEATED ON ME!!!
Kidd: I don't know what yer talking about.
Leena: You were with her?!?!?
Serge: Uh... No...
Akari: This is just sad. Let's go already!!
Akari gives the CC characters costumes; Serge is Crono, Harle is of course a clown, and Lynx is a house cat. O.o She zaps everyone away. Now back to Tifa's bar in the FFVII world. Everyone walks into the main room, dressed in Halloween outfits.
Cloud=Crono
Barret=Mr. T
Vincent=a vampire
Cid=Eminem
Red XIII=Simba from the Lion King O.o
Cait Sith=Meowth from Pokemon
Shera=a giant tea bag O.O
Tifa=a horse's head
Aeris=a horse's butt o.O
Aeris: *grumble* Why do I have to be the butt?!
Tifa: ^_^ Cause I'm better than you!
Barret: You know, you two are gonna have to be attached to each other through the whole party.
Tifa and Aeris: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Barret: Mwehehehe. *walks off*
The authors appear with the FFVIII-X, plus CT and CC people.
Akari: Hey everyone!!
Tifa and Cloud: *stare at Akari and Ryu* ...
Akari: ^-^ Great, aren't they?
Cloud: *shudders* He has my hair.
Tifa: Yes, it's scary... *suddenly notices everyone and freaks out* AAAAAAHHHH!!!! WHAT ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE????!!!!
Akari: Uh...
Takt: It was Yuffie's fault!
Yuffie: *glares at Takt* Yes, it was. *realizes mistake* I mean... Oh, @#$%.
Tifa: YUFFIE!!!!
Yuffie: ^.^;; *runs off*
Tifa: I'M GONNA GET YOU!!!!
Tifa runs after Yuffie.
Akari: -_-;;
Cloud: Well, let's PARTY!!!!!!!!
Everyone: YEAHHH!!!
~*~*~
Please review!
Welcome to Halloween Chaos! This is yet another chapter to my series of 'Chaos' fics that feature FFVII-X, plus Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross characters celebrating a holiday with craziness. (But it's not a continuation, so you don't have to read the other 'Chaos' fics before this one. Although it would be easier to understand some of the weird crap that goes on.) As in 'Valentine's Day Chaos!', one of my friends are co- authoring this fic--it's Golden-Sephy this time. ^^ She'll be Re in the fic, her sidekick is Takt (or Silver-Sephy). And as usual, I'm Akari and my sidekick is Ryu. Enjoy the fic!
And guess what, everyone? AERIS IS GONNA BE IN THE FIC!!! Yes, I know I'm known to leave Aeris out and replace her with Shera. Well, I like all the FF characters as of a month or something ago. *takes out a voodoo doll of Aeris with pins sticking in* See? *notices pins* Uh... Where'd those come from? *takes out pins* Yes... I'll just get rid of these pins... *eye twitches* Oh, and Shera's still gonna be in the fic. For all you Shera fans. Hello? Any Shera fans here? *silence* Eh. Let's just get on with the fic.
Disclaimer: As with all disclaimers, I don't own--*gets whacked with a hammer* O.o Uh, that came a little early. Well, I don't own anything.
~*CH. 1*~
As all the 'Chaos' fics start, the FFVII cast--Aeris and Shera included-- are in Tifa's Seventh Heaven. But something's different...
Cloud: It's...so...boring...
Yes, everyone's bored. Usually, there's craziness going on at night at the bar. And especially on a holiday.
Tifa: Hmm... Something's different.
Yuffie suddenly runs into the room, dressed as Seymour. She runs around, secretly searching everyone's pockets for Materia as she says boring useless crap.
Yuffie: Hey everyone! Happy Halloween!
Aeris: ...What? Halloween?
Everyone: *notices Aeris* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: ???
Tifa: Sorry, we thought you were dead.
Aeris: I know. I am.
Everyone: ... *edges away from Aeris*
Aeris: Anyway, back to Yuffie.
Everyone: ...Yuffie? *all notice Yuffie* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yuffie: What?
Red XIII: You're so... UGLY!!! *covers eyes*
Yuffie: Oh, this costume? It's Seymour from FFX.
Cait Sith: *in a slurry voice* Sey-mour? FFX?
Yuffie: ...He's just an ugly guy.
Cait Sith: We figured that out already.
Cloud: Wow. His hair outdoes mine.
Vincent: And why are you dressed like that?
Yuffie: It's Halloween!
Everyone: Huh?
Yuffie: You know, the day when kids dress up as stuff and go out and steal candy?
Shera: I think I've heard of that. But we're all too old to trick or treat.
Yuffie: But we still can.
Barret: That would be illegal, though!
Yuffie: Who cares? There are no cops in Midgar.
Cloud: Yeah... *starts getting ideas*
Tifa: How bout we just have a Halloween party, though?
Aeris: Yeah, let's PARTY!!! *takes off shirt*
Everyone: *stares at Aeris* O.O OH GOD.
Aeris: Uh... *puts shirt back on* Sorry.
Cloud: That...was...torture. *rubs eyes*
Tifa: ...Anyway, let's get costumes on!
Everyone rushes off to find costumes.
Yuffie: Well, I guess I'm the only one who's ready. *smiles evilly* I might as well not waste this time.
Suddenly Re, Takt, Akari, and Ryu appear. Re and Takt are in cute Sephiroth outfits with only their hair colors separating their looks--Re's hair is gold, Takt's is silver. And Akari is of course, in a Tifa outfit, with Ryu in a Cloud outfit. -_-;;
Yuffie: Eek!
Akari: -_-;; Is it that bad? *examines outfit*
Yuffie: Yes!
Akari: ... *whacks Yuffie on the head*
Yuffie: *rubs head* Erm... Who are you all and what are you doing here?
Re: Let me explain. We're all authoring this fanfic.
Yuffie: Uh... Okay. Now excuse me.
Yuffie runs to the phone.
Takt: Are you gonna invite a million FF people like the last two times?
Yuffie: Yep! ^_^
All the authors: YAY!!!
Takt: We'll all go get the FF people over here, then!
All the authors disappear. Meanwhile in the FFVIII world... Squall, Rinoa, Seifer, Zell, Laguna, Selphie, Quistis, Irvine, and Raine are in Squall's room at the SeeD dorms.
Rinoa: So... Today is Halloween.
Squall: Whatever.
Quistis: When are we gonna go ruin Cid's office?
Squall: Whatever.
Laguna: Aren't you kids gonna get in trouble for that?
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Stop saying 'whatever'!!
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: AAAARRGH!! *whacks Squall with a random object*
Squall: ...Okay, I'm done.
Quistis: -_-;; Anyway, back to the prank we were gonna play on Cid.
Raine: Are you serious about that?! You really want poor Cid to walk into his office to find it looking like this?!
Raine holds up a photo of Seymour's room, which is pink all over. There are posters of Barbie dolls and girly crap everywhere. His stuff is all pink and fluffy. Seymour is in the middle of the room, dressed like 'Beach Barbie'--in a really small bikini--and smiling for the camera. O_O
Squall: O.o *examines the picture* Wow. How'd you get that photo?
Raine: Er... I found it? *smiles nervously*
Squall: Good. I was pretty sure that my mother wasn't cheating on Laguna with Seymour. Come on, you're much better than that.
Raine: ...
Laguna: ...
Everyone: ...
Squall: ...Mom?
Raine: *sweatdrop*
Selphie: O.o Anyways, can't we find anything better to do?
Irvine: Yeah, like have a strip party!!
All the guys: YEAH!!!
Seifer: All the women can strip while we watch!
Selphie: Yeah, great idea!
Rinoa, Raine, and Quistis glare at Selphie.
Selphie: What? It'll be fun. Let's start now. *takes off shirt*
All the guys: *stare at Selphie* :D
Selphie: ^_^ Come on, you three.
Rinoa: Oh, what the heck.
Quistis: Yeah.
Quistis, Raine, and Rinoa take off their shirts. O.o Suddenly, the phone rings.
Seifer: *finally takes eyes off Rinoa, Raine, Selphie, and Quistis* ...What if it's Cid and he knows that we're all planning to destroy his office?
Squall: I'm not picking it up!
Rinoa: Let's just let it ring.
The phone rings for half an hour. Everyone is silent.
Rinoa: ...AAARRGH!!! I can't take it anymore!!!
Rinoa grabs the phone.
Rinoa: Hello?
Yuffie: Hi!!!
Rinoa: ...Oh, Yuffie.
Everyone: *breathes out*
Rinoa: What do you want?
Yuffie: Wanna come to a Halloween party?
Rinoa: A Halloween party? Sure!
Yuffie: Okay! Bring everyone you know!
Rinoa: Okay... *laughs evilly*
Yuffie: O.o
Rinoa: Sorry.
Rinoa and Yuffie hang up. Suddenly, the authors appear.
Akari: Hiiii!!! Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, put your shirts on.
The three do so.
Rinoa: *sigh* Not you people again...
Re: Do we know you?
Rinoa: I don't really know.
Takt: We're here to take you to Tifa's.
Squall: And how will we get there?
Akari: I'll zap you. I'm a sorceress, after all. ^^
Rinoa: Eek! *moves away from Akari*
Akari: ...Oookay. Let's go.
Zell: Wait! We need costumes!
Akari zaps all the FFVIII people and their clothes turn into random costumes.
Selphie: *examining costume* Hey, I'm Card Captor Sakura!!! ^-^
Rinoa: I'm a... Erm... Hmm...
Re: That appears to be a tomato.
Rinoa: Cool, I love tomatos!
Re: -_-;;
Irvine: I'm... A woman?
Akari: Yep! It fits your personality.
Irvine: What...the...hell...
Zell: You're so lucky!
Irvine: O.o
Zell: Uh... I mean... A woman is a better costume in comparison to Kero from CCS.
Irvine: Actually, no it's not.
Zell: Er... Forget you heard everything I just said.
Irvine: Consider it done. *bangs head onto a metal pan*
Zell: O.o
Selphie: Woohoo, he fainted!
Irvine: No, not yet. *suddenly falls over, knocked out*
Squall: Er... Anyway... Do I HAVE to be a lobster?
Akari: Yeah. You look much better in the costume than Rinoa would have.
Squall: ...?
Laguna: Hey, I'm a crab!
Raine: And I'm a shrimp! Wow, our family matches!
Squall: Noooooo!!!!
Quistis: What am I supposed to be?!
Akari: A Playboy bunny!
Quistis: Where the hell do you come up with these things?!
Akari: Er... *sweatdrop* Nowhere... *looks for a place to hide*
Ryu: Let's just go.
Irvine gets revived and Akari zaps everyone away. Meanwhile in Alexandria castle in the FFIX world... Dagger is walking around, dressed in her Queen outfit. Zidane walks over. He's dressed as a monkey, obviously.
Zidane: Hiii!!
Dagger: *sigh* Hello...
Zidane: Is that your costume? It's horrid!
Dagger: !!! *whacks Zidane with her rod*
Zidane: *falls over and faints*
Dagger: Cool, no one that I hit has actually fainted before this!
Vivi runs in, dressed as a cute little carrot. o.O
Dagger: What the... A carrot?
Vivi: Yep. ^-^
Dagger: Erm... Okay...
Vivi: I wanna trick or treat!
Dagger: I'm busy.
Vivi: Doing what?
Dagger: ...Stripping! Yeah, that's it!
Vivi: Oh, as usual. Can I watch?
Dagger: O.o Uh...
Steiner runs in, wearing a Pikachu outfit. O.o
Dagger: Steiner, go take Vivi trick or treating.
Steiner: I can't, Your Majesty. I'm looking for Meowth.
Dagger: o.O Do it.
Steiner: No.
Dagger: Come on.
Steiner: No!
Dagger: AAAAAARRRGH!!! THAT'S IT!!!
Dagger goes into a crazy rampage, smacks Steiner's head with her rod, and jumps out the window.
Vivi: O.o What was that?!?!?! Everyone's dead now!!
Vivi examines Steiner and Zidane.
Vivi: Oh well. ^-^
Suddenly the phone rings. Vivi picks it up.
Vivi: *doing a crappy imitation of Dagger's voice* Hello?
Yuffie: Hey Dagger. Wanna come to a Halloween party at Tifa's?
Vivi: Okay. *hangs up*
Yuffie: That was quick... *hangs up*
Vivi: That was too easy. Well, a party... I better go get someone to take me.
Suddenly, the FFVIII crew and the authors appear.
Takt: Hey Vivi! Where is everyone?
Vivi: Well, Dagger jumped out the window and you're standing on Zidane and Steiner.
Takt: *looks down to see Steiner and Zidane below his feet* Erm... Oops. *steps off*
Vivi: It's okay, Takt, you can keep standing on them.
Takt: Yay!
Takt steps back on Zidane and Steiner. A few crunching sounds are heard. O.o
Akari: -_-;; We're gonna take you to Tifa's party now.
Vivi: But I wanna trick or treat!
Akari: Too damn bad! *laughs evilly*
Everyone: O.o
Akari: ...Sorry. Now let's get these two up.
Takt steps off Zidane and Steiner. Akari zaps them, awaking them.
Akari: Now, let's go find Dagger.
Zidane: Wait, what's going on? And why is my back broken?
Steiner: Mine too?
Takt: ^.^;; I didn't do anything.
Re: -_-;; Takt... Anyway, we're going to take you all to Tifa's Halloween party.
Zidane: Woohoo, chicks! I hope some are dressed as Playboy bunnies!
Akari: Quistis?
Quistis: NOOOOO!!!!!
Zidane: Yeah!!!
Quistis: Changeitchangeitchangeit!!!
Akari: No.
Zidane: *jumps at Quistis*
Quistis: Eeeek!! *whacks Zidane away*
Akari: Oh great, he's unconscious again.
Quistis: Keep him that way!
Akari: Fine, fine. Now for Dagger.
Akari zaps Dagger over.
Dagger: *shaking all over, eyes red* M-must...kill...Steiner...
Takt: *examines Dagger's hair* Wow... It's long... Pretty...
Dagger: *gets out of trance* Oh, @#$%.
Takt runs after Dagger, trying to catch her hair.
Re: *smacks own forehead* Rekka Shinen!!!
Re takes out her weapon, the Tessen--an iron fan. She uses it on Takt, blowing flames all over his body.
Takt: *realizes he's burned* AAAAHHH!!!!
Re: ^^
Takt: *rolls on the ground* Heeeeelp!!!!!
Akari: Should I?
Re: Yeah, he's had enough.
Akari: *uses Water on Takt*
Takt: *wet all over* Can I still see your hair?
Dagger: NO!!
Re: Er... Let's just go.
Akari zaps everyone away. Meanwhile in the FFX world... Wakka is playing Blitzball inside a sphere in Besaid and Tidus, Yuna, Auron, Kimahri, Rikku, and Lulu are outside, watching him.
Tidus: *sigh* This is so boring...
Wakka turns to Tidus.
Wakka: What did you sa--
Suddenly, someone throws a blitzball at Wakka, hitting him out of the sphere.
Wakka: Oww... The game is over, ya?
Yuna: It's so boring. And it's Halloween.
Rikku: We should have a party or something.
Suddenly Seymour runs runs over, dressed in a baboon suit.
Seymour: Hey guys! Wanna come to my house? I'm having a party!
Rikku: Erm, no...
Yuna: But Rikku, you just said--
Rikku: *covers Yuna's mouth* Heh heh heh.
Yuna: *bites Rikku's hand*
Lulu: *sigh* You immature brats. Is this gonna go on forever?
Rikku: Yes! She nearly ate my hand off!!! *bites Yuna's hand*
Seymour: O.o Er... Kay.
Suddenly, something rings. Seymour takes a pretty little pink cell phone that's decorated with flower stickers and says 'Seymour' in cute pink letters on it out of his pocket.
Everyone: *looks at the phone* O.O
Rikku: *swirly-eyed* @.@
Seymour: *into phone* Hello?
Yuffie: Hi! Wanna come to Tifa's party today?
Seymour: Sure.
Yuffie: Kay, bring everyone.
Seymour: Sure.
Seymour takes out some pretty pink stationery decorated with flowers and bunnies out of his pocket, along with a pen to match.
Everyone: *stares* Oh... My... God...
Seymour: *writes onto the paper* Hmm... I'll have to invite Ken, and Barbie, and... Oh yeah, Kelly too.
Everyone: O_O
Seymour: Okay, there we go. *hangs up* We're going to a party.
Everyone: Woohoo!!!
Seymour: Wait. You all didn't want to come to my party.
Yuna: Well, to be honest, we hate your parties.
Lulu: Yeah. You always decorate the place with Barbie stuff.
Rikku: And serve crap in Barbie plates and cups and have cakes with Barbie's face on them... And you even dress like Barbie... *shudders*
Seymour: Yep, I love Barbie. But doesn't everyone?
Everyone: ...
Suddenly the authors appear with the FFIX and FFVIII people.
Re: Did Yuffie tell you that you're all going to a party?
Wakka: Ya.
Re: Good.
Tidus: Do we have to?
Akari: Yes, you whiny-ass Leonardo Di Caprio copying blonde.
Tidus: Erm... Alright.
Akari zaps everyone away. Meanwhile in the Chrono Trigger world, Crono is sitting in his room reading something. The phone rings and he picks it up.
Yuffie: Hello, Crono?
Crono: *tries to talk but no sound comes out*
Yuffie: Uh, yeah. Wanna come to Tifa's party? Invite everyone.
Crono: *tries again*
Yuffie: Sure, whatever. Now bye. *hangs up*
Crono: *hangs up and resumes reading*
Marle runs into the room.
Marle: Hiiiii!!!
Crono: *sigh*
Marle: Why aren't you talking?
Crono: ...
Marle: Talk.
Crono: ...
Marle: Come on!!
Crono: ...
Marle: Fine, you tone-deaf freak!
The authors appear with the FFVIII-X people.
Ryu: We're taking you to Tifa's Halloween party. Where's everyone else?
Crono: *tries to talk*
Akari: -_-;; *zaps Crono* You always talk in my fics.
Crono: Not in this one. ^^
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *jump back*
Akari: YOU FREAK!!!
Crono: What?
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!
Crono: ...
Akari: That's better. Now, what are you doing?
Akari looks at Crono's magazine.
Akari: What...the...@#$%...
Crono is reading a porn mag. He's staring at a giant centerfold of a naked woman. Crono reaches for a photo of Marle on his desk. He cuts her head out and glues it down onto the centerfold, so it's a random naked woman with Marle's head. Crono smiles and stares at the picture.
Everyone: O_O;; Marle: YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!
Marle takes out her crossbow and shoots Crono, who falls on the floor and faints.
Marle: ^_^
Akari: Er... Let's just go.
Akari zaps over Lucca, who is wearing nothing but a bath towel.
Lucca: Huh?... *sees everyone* AAAAAAAHHH!!!
Re: You're going to Tifa's Halloween party.
Lucca: I don't wanna!
Re: This is against your will.
Lucca: Nooooo!!! Why do you have to control my life?!
Re: Cause you're my slave. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *stares at Re* O.o
Re: ...Sorry.
Takt: -_-;; She's always like that.
Re: *eye twitches* ...
Takt: ...Oh, @#$%. *turns around and runs*
Re: *takes out weapon* DIIIEEEE!!!
Akari: *sigh* Calm down...
Re: *puts back weapon and stares at Takt evilly*
Takt: *stops running* Yay, I got away!!!
Lucca: ...Can we just go now?
Ryu: Everyone needs costumes.
Marle runs out of the room and runs back in a minute later, wearing a Playboy bunny outfit.
Marle: ^_~
Akari: O.o God, that costume's horrid...
Marle: !!! *whacks Akari*
Akari: You have no right to do that! *burns Marle with Firaga*
Marle: *scorched* Okay, sure... *falls over*
Akari: ^^ Do you have any costumes ready, Lucca?
Lucca: No.
Akari: Then I'll have to make you one. ^_~
Lucca: Eeek!!
Akari zaps Lucca and she's instantly wearing an outfit just like Marle's.
Lucca: -_-;; This isn't funny.
Authors: Yes it is!!
Akari: Finally, Crono.
Akari revives Crono.
Crono: I have my own outfit, if you're planning to make me a Playboy bunny too.
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HE TALKED AGAIN!!!
Crono: -_-;; Will you stop doing that?
Everyone: Okay.
Crono: O.o Thanks.
Akari: *smiles evilly* You know, you'd look good as a Play--
Crono: ...NO.
Crono takes out an outfit exactly like Serge's and puts it on.
Crono: ^-^
Akari: ...Oookay. Let's go now.
Akari zaps everyone away. And finally, in the Chrono Cross world... Serge is shown on Opassa Beach. He's alone and looking out at sea.
Serge: Heeheehee... Time for some fun!!
Serge strips down to nothing O.O and runs into the water. A few moments later, he's completely underwater. Bubbles appear as if he's trying to breathe. Suddenly Leena runs onscreen.
Leena: Sergey!!!
Leena notices the bubbles.
Leena: O.o *runs into the water and pulls Serge out*
Serge: *gasping for air* Thanks...
Leena: Why are you naked?
Serge: *shrugs*
Leena: Er... O.o You got a phone call. Some kid named Yuffie wants you to come to a party.
Serge: Yay!
Leena: Hey... Are you cheating on me?!?!
Serge: No.
Leena: Just like last time with that 'Kidd' girl...
Serge: *millions of sweatdrops* Uh... I don't know what you're talking about...
Leena: I KNEW IT!! YOU ARE!!!
Leena's eyes turn red.
Serge: Oh, @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*.
Leena whacks Serge with a spatula, knocking him out. Suddenly the authors appear with the FFVIII-X, plus CT people.
Ryu: Hi Leena.
Leena: Er... You're standing on Serge...
Ryu: *looks down* Why's he naked?
Leena: *shrugs* Just step off him.
Ryu: I don't wanna. *jumps up and down*
Akari: Stop that! Serge is hot!
Leena: WHAT?!?!?!?
Ryu: HEY!!!
Akari: ^^;; He is!
Leena: *eye twitches*
Ryu: You cheated on me!!!
Ryu jumps at Akari and smacks her with a flail.
Leena: *watching from a few feet away* WOOHOO!!! GO RYU!!!
Re: *smacks own forehead* I don't know them...
Takt: Yes you do! That's Akari and Ryu. And they seem to be fighting over Serge.
Re: O.o Just pretend I don't know them.
Takt: But you do!!!
Re: That's it... REKKA SHINEN!!!
Re takes out her iron fan, the Tessen, and uses it on Takt. Flames shoot all over the place and he's knocked out instantly.
Everyone: O.o
Akari: Er... A little help?
Re: Sure. ^^ Rekka Shinen!!!!! *uses Tessen on Ryu*
Ryu: *blink blink* *falls over*
Akari: ^_^ Thanks. Now, we can go get Kidd and Harle and take them to Tifa's.
Re: Leena, go get them.
Leena: No. I hate you all!!
Akari: *sigh* Fine, I'll do it myself...
Akari zaps Kidd and Harle over. Lynx is with them.
Akari: Lynx, what are you doing here?
Lynx: I dunno... But I sure wasn't making out with Kidd...
Everyone: O.O !!!!!!!
Kidd: *sounding casual* What? He wasn't.
Akari: Er... Alright.
Serge suddenly awakens.
Serge: Wha?... Kidd made out with my father?... *fully conscious now* HEY!!! YOU CHEATED ON ME!!!
Kidd: I don't know what yer talking about.
Leena: You were with her?!?!?
Serge: Uh... No...
Akari: This is just sad. Let's go already!!
Akari gives the CC characters costumes; Serge is Crono, Harle is of course a clown, and Lynx is a house cat. O.o She zaps everyone away. Now back to Tifa's bar in the FFVII world. Everyone walks into the main room, dressed in Halloween outfits.
Cloud=Crono
Barret=Mr. T
Vincent=a vampire
Cid=Eminem
Red XIII=Simba from the Lion King O.o
Cait Sith=Meowth from Pokemon
Shera=a giant tea bag O.O
Tifa=a horse's head
Aeris=a horse's butt o.O
Aeris: *grumble* Why do I have to be the butt?!
Tifa: ^_^ Cause I'm better than you!
Barret: You know, you two are gonna have to be attached to each other through the whole party.
Tifa and Aeris: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Barret: Mwehehehe. *walks off*
The authors appear with the FFVIII-X, plus CT and CC people.
Akari: Hey everyone!!
Tifa and Cloud: *stare at Akari and Ryu* ...
Akari: ^-^ Great, aren't they?
Cloud: *shudders* He has my hair.
Tifa: Yes, it's scary... *suddenly notices everyone and freaks out* AAAAAAHHHH!!!! WHAT ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE????!!!!
Akari: Uh...
Takt: It was Yuffie's fault!
Yuffie: *glares at Takt* Yes, it was. *realizes mistake* I mean... Oh, @#$%.
Tifa: YUFFIE!!!!
Yuffie: ^.^;; *runs off*
Tifa: I'M GONNA GET YOU!!!!
Tifa runs after Yuffie.
Akari: -_-;;
Cloud: Well, let's PARTY!!!!!!!!
Everyone: YEAHHH!!!
~*~*~
Please review!