I'll be the first to tell anyone worth telling that strange things happen in the Turk division of the Shinra office. All the time. Nearly every day. Mostly it's the normal, run of the mill, crazy stuff though. Mostly.
And I, Rude of the Turks, tend to be the only one that notices it all. No one else would believe some of things I've witnessed in this building. Like Tseng cursing his coffee machine for breaking out of spite just when it was needed most. Or like Rufus bent over his desk, pants around his ankles, while a strap-on clad Elena pounded his ass.
But the events of today cannot go untold.
The day seemed suspiciously normal. No evil coffee machines, no strap-ons. I knew by the last fifteen minutes of my shift something had to happen. Nothing could have prepared me for my office...
"Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low
According to all sources, the street's the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time"
I heard a very nice tenor voice coming from my office. I looked around in search of another witness, but alas, I was again alone for the Crazy Show. I silently crept up to the door and placed my head on its handle.
"Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men."
The song and voice were familiar, but I couldn't place either. The suspense would have killed a lesser man. Regardless, I slowly opened the door just enough to peer inside.
"It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!"
I can only imagine what my face looked like at that moment. Absolute shock. Eyes wide. Jaw dropped. Whole nine yards. There in my office, dancing like an amateur drag queen, was Reno.
"It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean."
He wasn't facing the door and hadn't noticed his audience. At least, I hoped not. So, just as slowly as I had opened the door, I shut it again. Someone will believe me... hopefully. Besides, even if no one does, I know Reno will know what I'm talking about tomorrow morning when I give him an umbrella.