I've been holding onto this idea since I first entered the fandom. (That's three whole years by the way hahaha smoke weed))
PROLOGUE
"Dead."
The RED Spy removed his fingers from under the BLU Pyro's mask and wiped them on his suit pants with mild disgust. Beside him, the Sniper eyed the body with suspicion.
"He couldn't have been out here long enough for the heat to get to him… bloody vultures would already've staked a claim on 'im," the Australian said as he adjusted the brim of his slouch hat.
Spy slipped his gloves back on, his expression grim.
"In any case, he should have respawned by now," he said as he looked past the Sniper and down the sun-bleached highway in each direction. They weren't far from their destination, but they weren't close enough to be in the range of any weaponry (friendly or not) either.
Without warning, Spy stooped down once more and struggled to lift the husky BLU by their wrists. The Pyro's head lolled limply from side to side as the Frenchman began to drag them. Sniper looked at him, confused.
"What are you-"
"We're taking him with us," Spy explained, "I 'ave my suspicions and I want our Medic to confirm them."
"'f you're so sure about your suspicions bein' right, why don'tcha just let me have a look at the bloke? Ya don't need some quack to tell ya if he's dead for good or not."
"That's not what I want to know," blue-grey smoke trailed lazily from Spy's lips as he dragged the Pyro back towards Sniper's camper van by the side of the road, "I can't expect a simple hired gun like you to understand."
Sniper walked past Spy and stood in the way of the camper's back door, crossing his arms.
"And what makes ya think I'm gonna let ya cart around dead BLUs in me van after insultin' me?" he asked, leaning against the door.
Spy dropped the corpse on the dirt.
"We can gain important knowledge from this, Sniper," he said, removing his cigarette from his lips and flicking it onto the road, "And it is imperative we get back to our base as soon as possible before the team thinks we've deserted them."
"What's wrong with havin' the team think we're on a little honeymoon?" Sniper sneered, "Why don'tcha tell me?"
Spy's eyes narrowed.
"Do you really not trust me?" he asked.
"I'm a sniper. You're a spy. Comes with the job," Sniper replied, not budging from the door, "And until you tell me what's up, I'm goin' to stay convinced I've got all bloody day to wait for you to spill it."
Spy knew he didn't really have a reason why he couldn't tell Sniper. They had been stationed at Hydro for about three months now and the sharpshooter had proven himself to be one of the more trustworthy and levelheaded members of the RED team. However, Spy had thought that of many of their teammates before they up and fled the base in the middle of the night. He could only guess that Sniper would feel pressured to do the same if Spy told him what he believed the enemy Pyro's cause of death was.
On the other hand, Sniper knew he didn't really have a reason why Spy had to tell him. Spy was the only member of the team who directly answered to the mysterious administrator and one could probably fill a book with things he knew that no one else did. Sniper himself was lower on the pecking order. He didn't make plans so much as follow them, dutifully playing his part from a selected hideout.
No, not a hideout. A roost. Always a roost.
Hideouts were for cowards.
Sniper took off his aviators and looked away, rubbing his eyes.
"Just… just put the bleedin' body in the back," he said as he moved away from the door. He still had a bad feeling about taking a BLU into their base, dead or not.
"Merci," Spy's expression relaxed into a smile, but Sniper couldn't tell if it was genuine or not.
"If I find out ya smuggled a live BLU into the base, I'll leave ya prayin' for death," Sniper threatened under his breath as he walked around to the driver's side of the van.