Small Steps Forward
Note: Just a fan of Tokyo Ghoul borrowing the characters to write this fanfic.
Author's Note: An idea I came up with on a whim when re-reading the original Tokyo Ghoul oneshot. It was supposed to be this short little story that I was going to post a couple of weeks ago but I just kept getting ideas and it kept on expanding. I apologize if it's a little OOC at times ( I feel like I've made Kaneki and Touka a mix of their oneshot selves and their serialized manga counterparts) but hopefully it's still alright.
For those who might be curious, it might take me awhile but I'm still working on the next chapters to my Touken stories currently in-progress.
Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoy! :)
xxxxx
The first time he meets her is when he's 18 and she starts working at Anteiku.
"Her name is Kirishima Touka," the manager explains, motioning to the girl in front of him. "She'll be your kouhai so make sure to show her the ropes."
He departs, but not before leaving a tray of sandwiches behind in the break room.
Kaneki can feel his stomach turning at the notion of having to eat them and, upon sensing the gaze of his new co-worker in his direction, has to fight back a look of disgust at the mere thought of cheese, its slippery texture, rancid odor and vomit-like taste. It wouldn't do for her to become suspicious.
"Kaneki-san, is it? It's nice to meet you." she says, sticking out her hand, "Please treat me well."
He shakes it with a smile.
"Likewise, Kirishima-chan."
She blinks, startled, before sending him a smile.
"Touka-chan is fine."
In the back of his mind he notes that she is probably about a year younger than him (judging by her school uniform) and very attractive... attractive enough to eat. Her hand is soft in his and he forces himself to stop his train of thought.
As much as he finds her to be his ideal type of prey (young girls in particular are quite flavorful!), she seems like a nice person and he has a policy to only go after those who get in his way. Besides, he's sure it would look bad for him if she were to suddenly disappear after just starting to work there.
xxxxx
6 months later and he has to grudgingly admit that she is much better than him at brewing coffee.
"I got to hand it to you, Touka-chan, you really know what you're doing. This is a really impressive cup of coffee," he tells her after having downed the mug of steaming liquid that had been offered. "Where did you manage to acquire these skills?"
She stares at him for a minute, as if trying to figure out how much she should disclose, before setting down her own mug and claiming a seat on the other side of the small table.
"My family are big fans of coffee. When I was little, my dad always took my younger brother and I out with him to buy the coffee beans. He used to joke around and say that it would come in handy when we grew up because then we would be able to make him the blends that he wanted." Kaneki watches as her expression becomes nostalgic at the recollection, "I suppose he was right about that. Although, I don't think he expected me to get hired at an actual coffee shop."
She laughs softly and he catches himself staring at her for a moment more than he had expected.
When he feels a small flutter in his chest, he immediately dismisses it as a sign of hunger.
I could have sworn that I was full, he thinks, turning away from the sight, I'll have to eat something as soon as I arrive home just in case. Thankfully I made sure to store away some of the leftover meat instead of abandoning it in the alleyway. While it wouldn't do for me to feast on more than my own share, especially now that there's news of that stupid binge eater ghoul (alias: "4-people-killer") in the area, there's no harm in indulging myself with a bit more food than usual every once in a while.
xxxxx
It's a dark night, the streets are empty, and he's busy stalking after a human who he had seen threaten a group of young children (he's low on meat and has no qualms taking out dangerous people like that) when another ghoul appears from out of nowhere and gets there first.
He observes as they briskly bring down the human using a series of kicks and jabs and contemplates joining them - they wouldn't be able to figure out who he is anyway, thanks to his mask.
Perhaps the other ghoul senses his presence as their head veers to look in his direction before they swiftly leap away, dragging the bloody body along with them.
The only thing he manages to catch is a glimpse of their white rabbit mask.
xxxxx
There's a woman who keeps frequenting the coffee shop with a book. Normally he wouldn't pay much attention but some of her mannerisms are eerily similar to his own.
He watches, from where he's washing the dishes behind the counter, as her eyes alight on one of the regulars and her tongue slips out to moisten her lips. It's a very predatory look and while it could just be a case of her lusting after them, Kaneki has his suspicions that she's a ghoul ( and one that is clearly unable to control their urges).
Maybe she's the binge eater ghoul.
He's come to the conclusion that it's highly likely the rabbit ghoul and the "6-people-killer" are one and the same (evidence supported by statements on the news).
He could confront her but then again, he doesn't really care to chance it. She would definitely report him if he's wrong.
While she has quite an alluring scent and he's positive that he could take her out in a flash, the idea of investigators in the ward searching for him afterwards is not a pleasant thought.
"So Kaneki-san... that's your type, is it?" Touka interjects mischievously from behind, "An intellectual like Rize-chan over there."
He wants to explain himself but then he'd have to reveal more information than what he's comfortable sharing. The better option, in this case, is to feign indifference which is what he does instead.
"No, not really. I have a feeling that she's more interested in the adventurous type judging by how she's unabashedly staring at the guy and girl who are engaging in some embarrassing displays in the corner over there."
She raises an eyebrow but relents, even though it's clear that she's not entirely convinced.
"Alright, I'll take your word for it."
She looks like she wants to add something else, as her eyes dart back to the purple haired figure in the seat, but seems to think better of it.
He inwardly heaves a sigh of relief.
There are some things that are better left a secret.
xxxxx
He's turned 19 and they still haven't succeeded in capturing the ravenous (now) "8-people-killer".
It's all over the news and the number of investigators visiting coffee shops are multiplying.
Kaneki hates it.
He hates having to be cheerful while serving them.
He hates having to smile while they malign his kind.
He hates how they don't even try to understand.
Mostly, he hates how much it makes him loathe himself for just trying to survive.
xxxxx
He does it on a whim.
Tells her that he's a ghoul, that is.
Touka had been curious about the intentions of a couple of ghoul investigators and he had decided to give it a go.
He keeps a straight face as he taunts her and watches as she pales drastically.
If it wasn't such a sensitive matter then maybe he might have been able to derive a bit more amusement when she furrows her eyebrows and gives him an annoyed look at having been teased (not that she's aware that it's actually the truth and he really is a ghoul).
It's only natural that she doesn't believe him and, to be honest, a part of him is glad that's the case. If she were to find out then... he would have to get rid of her.
Would he truly be able to though?
He isn't too sure.
He hadn't fit in all that well with his previous co-workers at the other coffee shops where he had worked prior to Anteiku. Many of them would stare after him with hungry eyes (ironically enough), and had made him feel on edge. He would hate having to do away with of one of the only people who he felt comfortable around.
xxxxx
His annoyance and ire at the present state of things is all-consuming.
Shit, I was always wary of this happening one day. I just didn't reckon on it happening so soon.
He has such an intimidating demeanor that people start giving him wary looks as he passes them by. Although frustrated, he manages to ignore them until he reaches his house but it leaves him with a sense of resentment.
Who knew that a normal detour to a nearby coffee shop would end up leading to this.
If only he had been able to claim that he was on a diet the other day when the manager had offered him food. Even if he couldn't use that excuse too often, unlike Touka-chan(he wouldn't pry too much, she tended to get flustered whenever someone broached the subject of dieting with her), there might have been a lower chance of that ghoul investigator Shinohara-san bumping into him in the washroom after he had vomited out the sandwich. Perhaps he could have avoided suspicion.
Now, it was a moot point.
There was only one thing left for him to do.
He would have to bring down the one who had humiliated him.
Don't think too badly of me, Shinohara-san. I'm only doing what is necessary to make it in this warped world. It's unfortunate but you're going to be my prey in this scenario and, like all those in that position before, you're going to have to go.
xxxxx
Why?
It's the first thought that comes to mind when she interrupts their battle.
He flinches, his gaze locked on the sight of the girl in her uniform.
It's utterly impossible for her to misunderstand the situation and that can only mean one thing. She is now aware of his true identity. He wants to draw her aside and yell at her for doing something so stupid but this is not the time for it.
With a single bound he has her trapped in his grip. She glares as she struggles to escape his grasp but it's no use.
Damn, I'm sorry Touka-chan but I have to do this.
After what had happened to Shinohara-san's daughter, Kaneki is counting on the possibility that he won't want to risk putting an innocent girl in danger.
When the opposing man continues his swift approach he starts to panic. As soon as they refer to Touka as a necessary sacrifice, he comes to the realization that the vengeance that the ghoul investigator is experiencing has overtaken his sense of reason.
I'm so sorry that you had to stumble into this.
He can feel her trembling in what he assumes to be fear as he braces the both of them for the incoming punch.
The motion is suddenly halted when, to his astonishment, Touka stops the fist mere inches from her face before proceeding to glance up with a fiery expression.
"Sacrifice, don't give me that shit."
Kaneki does a double take. He's never heard her talk like that before and he's so surprised that, for a second, he finds himself pondering if it's even the same girl who he's worked with for the past year.
Touka...chan?
In the next second she's wound her way under his arm and retaliated by clipping the investigator in the face. All the while, he watches in disbelief.
What the heck is this development?
She's a ghoul!?
It takes him a minute to process but there's no denying the sight in front of him.
She's a ghoul! Not only that but the "8-people-killer" no less, judging by her mention of the 9th victim.
He reckons he shouldn't be so shocked given that his own personality changes when put in a tight spot but it's startling all the same.
There's a smirk on her face as she rapidly throws kicks at the older male and he is completely awed by her moves ( inwardly noting how they are identical to those he saw that night he stumbled upon the rabbit ghoul), not to mention that his adrenaline has started to pick up again. Stirring out of his stupor, he once more joins the attack.
Within no time at all they have subdued Shinohara-san.
He's always sombre when he deals the final blow and this time is no different. The investigator perishes instantly and despite the fact that they had been on odds with each other just prior, Kaneki still hopes that he'll be happily reunited with his daughter in death.
xxxxx
He feels as though a heavy burden has been lifted since discovering that Touka is a ghoul.
After having to conceal it from everybody around him for so many years, the idea that he can trust someone else knowing about his ghoul nature initially feels very strange.
Luckily, the awkwardness doesn't last long - Touka won't let it.
At the start, she continuously questions him about how long her uncontrollable hunger will last and about some of his experiences as a ghoul.
He answers her inquiries to the best of his ability - a bit confused by how relieved she seems by his responses.
A couple of weeks later her hunger finally settles down. She's ecstatic afterwards. That's when she confides in him her previous fears that one day her overbearing hunger would get her killed, especially considering how she kept making the headlines on the news.
It strikes a chord within him, having struggled with similar thoughts himself and it's one of the things that finally makes him realize that he isn't alone and that there are others out there who can relate to him.
He's always known this of course (he can't deny that some of the recurring discussions about mysterious disappearances are linked to ghouls) but, other than his parents, he's never encountered another ghoul (or if he has - then they never revealed themselves) before Touka.
In hindsight, perhaps he should have realized it back then - that his feelings of fondness for her were gradually maturing into something deeper.
xxxxx
Kaneki can happily state that he is no longer afraid of lunch break at Anteiku and it's all because Touka now helps him turn down the sandwiches that Yoshimura-san offers.
"I'm sorry manager, I had a coupon for a cake which expires today and I made Kaneki-san accompany me. I only wanted to try a little piece (I'm still on my diet) and so he had to finish the rest for me."
It's become her most common excuse to use (despite varying the type of food each time she uses that explanation). If the elderly manager is suspicious - he doesn't show it. Instead, he appears to be genuinely thrilled at the news that they seem to be meeting up even outside of work (although, presently, it's just a fib to evade eating food at the cafe).
When they obtain their next work schedule, the first thing he notices is that his is identical to hers.
She shakes her head when he glances over at her, mouthing the words "don't question it".
He doesn't - he's worked there long enough to understand that Yoshimura-san wouldn't do it without a reason.
xxxxx
"... new reports have surfaced indicating that the formerly well-known binge eater ghoul "8-people-killer" may now be a story of the past. There has been no trace of them for quite a long time now and so I think that we can all collectively breathe a sigh of relief. Next, we'll be talking abo-"
"Kaneki-san, can you help me out? This order is really large and I'm in a bit of a hurry today."
At his blank stare, she lets out a huff before pulling him into the staff room.
"Don't tell me you forgot! I informed you of this a few of weeks ago - I'm leaving early today. I'm sitting for the exam at your University tomorrow and Yoriko told me that I needed a break the night before."
He has to stifle an amused grin.
While she still calls him Kaneki-san (she argues that it's become a habit now), her speech and manner is much more casual when they converse.
If there is one thing that has flourished over the past couple of months, it's their friendship.
"I didn't forget at all. Here, take this for good luck."
"A bunny charm?"
"I thought it suited you", he leans in so close that his lips are almost brushing along the side of her ear before whispering the next bit, "what with your mask being a cutesy little rabbit and all."
He might have continued his banter if she hadn't chosen to jab her elbow into his gut.
Ouch.
"Hey! What was that for?"
He glowers at her indignantly and while anyone else might have cowered from his irritated glare, Touka returns it with one of her own.
"Mock my mask again and next time I'll make sure to aim a little lower."
He swallows.
Alright, lesson learned.
xxxxx
It's their break time and the majority of it has been spent watching her pace around the small room in the cafe.
"Aren't you going to open the envelope?" He watches her jump in surprise. "I'm not sure why you brought it to work if you were just going to avoid it."
She mumbles something that sounds like the words "wanted moral support" but before he can ask her to clarify, she's determinedly strode up and snatched the letter from the table.
"It's best to find out than just keep worrying."
She takes a deep breath before skimming through the information.
He almost falls over when she throws herself at him but by the force of it he can determine that she's happy.
"I take it this means that the rabbit charm worked and you'll be my kouhai both at work and school then?"
She rolls her eyes but it's betrayed by her radiant beam.
xxxxx
It's on a warm day, half a year after she starts attending Kamii, that Touka makes a bold suggestion.
"Kaneki-san, would you be willing to accompany me for dinner after our shift on the last Saturday of this month?"
He provides no feedback, perplexed on the nature of the question.
When her cheeks tinge pink a moment thereafter, he reckons that she has realized the implication herself.
"I didn't mean it like that!" she retorts defensively, scowling at the growing smug smirk on his face. "Back to the topic, you know how I always talk about my best friend Yoriko? Well... I just found out that she has agreed to go on a date with this guy in her cooking class."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
She throws him a heated glare.
"No!" An interval passes before she continues. "Okay- maybe you're right. At the same time, she's very gullible and I want to make sure that she won't get taken advantage of."
"You're a loyal friend, aren't you?"
She looks up, hopeful - she knows that eating human food will be bad for the both of them and that it's easy for him to decline.
His reluctant stance softens and he heaves a small sigh.
It wouldn't hurt to help her out this once.
"Ok, then. Let's do this."
She brightens up and just when he thinks she's mentioned everything, she impishly chooses to add one more condition.
"As much as I detest the idea myself, you do understand that this means we'll need to practice eating cakes, sandwiches and other similar foods, right?"
Shit! What did I just get myself into?
xxxxx
She invites him over on their day off the next weekend.
"My family is really nice and I've already explained that you're a ghoul so you don't need to worry about them trying to tear you into multiple pieces."
He had felt relief at the time - thankful that he wouldn't have to be on guard, but now that the day was here, he was dreading that his afternoon (and possibly his evening) would be spent munching on revolting food.
He takes a deep breath before knocking on the door, determination flowing through him.
He could do this.
His greetings fade off when the door swings open to display his miffed looking co-worker.
"You're late."
He's sheepish as he raises the bag in his hands.
"I decided to pick up some tarts on the way here."
He proffers the foul tasting desserts, imagining all the ways he could accidentally render them inedible so he would be able to leave early and nourish himself with an actual meal (from the fresh meat that he's recently obtained).
He grimaces when she gives him a knowing look.
"I'll let it go this time - but only because you were able to redeem yourself with these. It seems we'll have a full set of food to try today. "
He's forced to cover his nose as she leads him down the hallway to what he presumes to be the kitchen ( the nauseating odor is too strong).
"Oh! You must be Kaneki-kun. Hello!"
The words come from a tall man with the same shade of hair as the girl by Kaneki's side and to his right is a woman with kind eyes. When they stand together, it becomes very apparent where Touka inherited her looks from.
He tries to ignore her bemused look as he quickly bows to her parents, introducing himself.
"Ah! Kirishima-san, thank you for having me over. I'm sorry that we're using your house to practice."
"No need to worry, I've always wanted to try cooking some of these recipes and this is my chance, isn't that right Hikari?"
The older woman rolls her eyes before bopping her husband affectionately on the head.
"Here, we finished making these sandwiches earlier. You can start off with this." Kaneki is relieved it's a small plate with a single sandwich. He's not sure how much he can withstand before he'll start gagging.
Touka must have the same thought since she shows him the way to the washroom before they start anything.
They take breaks in between.
Touka has a biology exam approaching and he has his own literature exam to study for. They review side by side in relaxed silence with hot steaming cups of coffee to tide over their unsettled stomachs.
It's his favorite part of the visit and makes the whole thing a little more bearable.
Nonetheless, 5 hours and 3 trips to the washroom later, he is elated to finally be able to take a breather on the path home.
xxxxx
"I can't wait until this week is over." Kaneki groans from where he lies sprawled on top of the bed.
It's the last weekend practice prior to their outing and he never wants to see another piece of cake ever again. He'll even take the old rough and wrinkled meat that he detests so much over this.
The only amazing feat is that he is multiple times better at being able to stomach human food and can stall for some time before having to head off to the washroom to regurgitate it.
"You complain too much. I reckon you should be thanking me instead for increasing your resistance."
He lets out a snort at the suggestion.
"How do you expect me to thank you when I can't even sit up."
She has a playful glint in her eyes as she approaches him and his body tenses, instantly wary of her intentions.
"Don't worry Kaneki-san, I thought of something."
He doesn't have time to react before she pounces - successful in her attempt to smash the morsel of cake into his mouth.
He lets out a yelp and sputters before flipping them over, locking her under his much larger frame.
There's the sound of footsteps and then the door flies open with a bang.
"Hey! Who are you and what do you think you're doing to my aneki? Get off!"
Clearly his yell of shock was louder than he thought given the irate boy glaring at him.
So that's the younger brother. He's more like Touka-chan (at least, when she's pissed off) than I imagined.
"Oi! Did you not hear me? I said get off her!"
Kaneki blinks, not fully comprehending the situation until he glances down. It's only then that he becomes aware of the compromising position he's in.
He quickly gets up, offering Touka a hand. Her eyes are filled with mirth at his reaction. He chooses to avoid it by trying to remove the broken bits of cake from his being ( he's managed to clean his face but it's all over his shirt so he'll have to shower immediately after he arrives home - the stench is sure to kill him otherwise)
"Aneki, this is him!? You've got to be kidding. I could take him down in an inst- "
Touka quickly intervenes by clapping her hand over her brother's mouth. She hisses something into his ear, and watches as he somewhat deflates.
"Tch, fine but only because I know you can handle yourself"
He's halfway out the door when he turns to glower at Kaneki. "I'll let it go this once because aneki asked me to, but don't think you're a stronger ghoul than I am just because you're slightly taller."
He's gone before Kaneki can respond.
Touka tosses him an apologetic glance.
"Sorry about that. Ayato has a bit of a complex about his height and is very protective of me but he's usually really nice."
He nods in understanding.
"Don't worry, I recognize that he was just looking out for you. Perhaps next time I'll be able to get on his good side."
It must be nice to have a sibling.
xxxxx
"See, there was nothing to worry about after all." Kaneki says, pointing to the table where Yoriko sat across from her blushing classmate. "He genuinely seems to like her if you take into account how hard he seems to be trying to win her affections."
"Fine, I'll concede. You were right." Touka peers over her glass of water, relaxing at the sight of her best friend giggling, "She looks happy so I'll give this guy a chance. If he hurts her though..."
She trails off, eyes narrowing.
She doesn't have to explain - he already knows what she's thinking.
"You'll scare her even more if you hunt him. Didn't you mention that she was pretty frightened when those two guys who attacked you disappeared?"
"That's true." She exhales, appearing defeated, "I guess I'll have to settle with giving him a stern warning and maybe crushing his hand a teeny bit."
He shakes his head, amused.
"What? Then I can blame it on my strength."
They stay for an extra half an hour (the amount of time required for Touka to be satisfied that her friend is okay), sharing a small bowl of ice cream after deciding that, even after all the practice, it was too much to handle alone. Fortunately, it hadn't made them too sick and they had been able to use their napkins to mop up the remainder of what they couldn't finish.
"Alright, I think we've seen enough. Let's go before it starts becoming mushy – my stomach is upset enough as it is."
They have just about made it out of their seats when Yoriko spots them.
"Touka-chan? Oh, it is you!" The bubbly girl excuses herself from her suitor and is making her way over to their table when she finally notices him. She lets out a gasp, hands folding over her mouth in astonishment, and glances between the two of them before dragging her bewildered friend along with her to the washroom and leaving him with the explanation that "she'll be right back".
Touka appears frazzled when she returns but her friend is the exact opposite, looking delighted as she bids them goodbye with a thumbs up before returning to her date.
He questions her about it as they leave but she waves it off, looking contemplative.
Concluding that a change of mood is in order, he decides to make a suggestion.
"It's times like these that I sometimes go for a run. You know that park down the road? I bet that I can make it there the quickest."
Her eyes gleam at the challenge.
"Is that so?"
He doesn't purposely lose, just underestimates her speed (he should have known better!) and is stuck looking like a fool while she leisurely stretches in front of him.
"What was that again, Kaneki-san? I believe that you'd best get in some more practice before challenging me."
It's an effective taunt.
If he had thought that his weekends would free up after that day, then he was wrong.
Not that he's too disappointed. He finds her new training practice and challenge idea to be far more interesting than forcing himself to devour inedible food.
xxxxx
He's 22, they've been attending the same University for the past 2 years (not to mention co-workers for even longer) and everything seems to be looking up for him.
An added bonus being that hunting while evading the ghoul investigators has become a cinch with all the extra training he's been doing with her.
That's why he doesn't expect to be shaken up so thoroughly by her words while cleaning up after their work shift.
"Kaneki-san, do you have a bit of time?" She's fidgeting as she asks the question, "I debated whether or not to tell Yoriko first but I have a feeling that she would freak out. I'll probably tell her about it later on."
"Hmm... what is it Touka-chan? Is this about your best friend's food again?" He sticks his tongue out, pretending to gag. "Don't you think you should turn it down every once in a while? She gives such large portions that I swear we were almost poisoned to death the last time we tried it out."
She swings the cleaning cloth at him and he dodges it with a grin, only to be taken down by her nimble jab to his legs.
"Careful senpai, it would be too easy for me to damage that tongue of yours." She quips merrily, poking him in the cheek with her finger before offering him a hand. "You should know by now not to insult Yoriko's cooking in front of me. Besides, you're the one that promised to eat it with me after you found out she made it for the both of us."
"Fair enough," he replies, scowling as he reaches for her grip, "Alright, then. What is it?"
He's startled when her expression rapidly switches from cheeky to that of a more bashful nature and even more surprised by what she blurts out next.
"I was confessed to."
Out of all the things he imagined that she would say - this possibility had never surfaced.
He's silent as she continues.
"Someone confessed to me but the guy was being real pushy and he made me uncomfortable when he refused to let go of my hand..."
His eyes narrow, his fists clench and a rather dark expression crosses his face.
"... at that point I had the urge to slice his arm off but then he would have been aware that I was a ghoul and it would have made everything complicated..."
He's only half listening now, absolutely furious that someone would dare harass Touka. He has to fight the growing urge to figure out who they are and have a "chat" with them( and by that he means breaking all the bones in their hands systematically starting from the distal phalanges and working his way up to the carpals).
"...I ended up turning him down."
He snaps out of his inner musings at those words.
"What was that?"
She smacks him in the arm before repeating.
"I turned him down. You looked like you were ready to rip him to pieces which, while flattering, would be counterproductive since we've decided to keep low profiles from now on. Maybe it would have been better to tell Yoriko first instead." She looks sly when she poses her last question. "Were you jealous?"
She turns away with a laugh, not letting him answer (not that he could) and brushes it off as a joke.
He spends the entire rest of the week feeling restless and unsettled(so much so that even eating, reading and coffee hasn't satisfied him) before he eventually understands why.
Touka-chan, you were absolutely right - I was jealous.
The toughest part was admitting it to himself - that he cares about her in more than a friendly manner (if his latest dream of them was any indication).
But now that he's aware of his feelings, they're too impossible for him to ignore.
xxxxx
"Well, that's another triumph for me." Touka boasts smugly, removing her rabbit mask.
He watches as she tosses it aside and replaces it with his own mask (which she had snatched from him during their brief match) before sauntering over, a satisfied look lining her features.
"So, how do I look? Do you think I can fool other people into believing that I'm you."
He snorts at the image - her figure is much, much, tinier than his own. There's no way that they can be mistaken for the other.
"You're no fun Kaneki-san," she pouts, "or is it that you're just pissed that I got you again?"
He grumbles,reclaiming his mask and tracing over the blood smeared on the lopsided "x" and heart shapes with his index finger.
He had honestly thought he would win this time but his plan had backfired the moment he cornered her to try to steal her mask. In that second, he had let his guard down and that was when she gained the advantage.
I've become too conscious of her.
It's the truth.
He's started noticing her habits - how she fiddles with the fringe of hair covering her face when bored, how she gnaws at her lower lip when impatient, and sometimes it works in her favor when it distracts him during their training.
"I'm not sure why you haven't been able to claim victory lately." She prods his abdomen, "Your physique is nice and you've certainly got the muscles to take me on."
She says it so matter-of-factly that it temporarily makes his hopes dwindle.
No reaction at all.
Even so, he won't give up.
He recalls the words his friend Hide, who had just returned after a couple of years overseas, gave him when they met. They had known each other for the longest time and Hide had always been very astute. He was able to figure out his dilemma almost instantly. Kaneki had worried about this trait often when they were younger, believing that he would one day be found out and betrayed, but Hide had never treated him any differently - he was a genuinely good person and over time became someone Kaneki knew he could depend on.
"She'll never know if you don't tell her. Are you willing to allow someone else to sweep her off her feet?"
No, I won't be satisfied unless I try my best to get my feelings across. Then it will be her decision whether or not to decline my affections.
He knew he could count on Hide to re-motivate him.
"Touka-chan, want to get some coffee at a cafe? My treat, since you were the winner."
It doesn't matter if it takes a really long time.
He'll be content with the possibility that a day may come where she reciprocates his feelings.
xxxxx
"So this is your place." She walks to the bookshelf, browsing through his multitude of material. "I was expecting it to be messier."
"Oh? Why is that?" he replies, distracted.
He's glad she's not a human because then there would have been a lot of explaining to do about some of the stains around the room and the severed limbs hanging along the wall.
She shrugs with a cryptic grin.
"Congratulations on your graduation from Kamii. Okaa-san informed me to give this to you - it's aged blood." He perks up, grasping for the bottle but she whips it behind her back and out of his reach. "I know you must be interested but save it for later after we finish the movie."
"Movie?" he asks puzzled, watching as she places the gift beside his jar full of eyeballs on the table.
"Yes, I saw this one and thought the premise looked interesting." She shoves the movie cover in his face.
He relents (books are much more to his liking), content just to spend some time with her.
An hour later and she's nodded off against him.
So much for the movie plans...
It's not the chance he was looking for, but he'll take it.
He wraps an arm around her shoulder and draws her in, pressing a kiss atop her head.
"I may seem like a strong, dependable guy but in reality I'm a coward who can't even say this when you're awake", he mumbles into her hair, "Touka-chan, there's something that I've-"
"You're such a slow idiot." She interrupts his monologue and he moves back startled, watching as her eyes flutter open. "Didn't you realize that I've been waiting ages for you?"
Her hands are warm as they cup his cheeks and she leans in until their noses are touching.
"Kaneki-san, you're so sly, trying to confess while I'm asleep but you should know by now that I'm slyer than you."
And then she closes the last few centimeters between them.
xxxxx
"You've known how you felt for the past 2 years?"
How had he never noticed?
"I thought it might have only been admiration and I didn't want to stir things up." She admits, leaning against him on his couch and sipping her coffee. "Leave it to Yoriko to bring it to the forefront of my mind."
He'd have to thank that girl when he got the chance.
"I only figured it out recently." He's apologetic as he explains,"It was only after you mentioned a possible suitor that I finally realized it."
"I know - you were very obvious afterwards." She shrugs, " While it wasn't my intent to rouse your dormant feelings that day I told you about that grabby guy, you won't see me complaining - especially not when it led to us reaching this point."
He's still bothered by it and perhaps she senses that it's best to divert his ruminations because she clumsily drops her (lukewarm) cup of coffee onto his pristine white shirt.
"Oops, sorry about that."
She doesn't seem remorseful whatsoever.
"Hey! That was my favorite shirt."
He laughs, taking care to properly undo all the buttons before donning a brand new shirt from his drawer and flopping back down on the couch, allowing his head to nestle in her lap.
"You never blushed or got embarrassed whenever I stretched or removed my shirt during training but I guess you do like my figure after all."
She smirks, grabbing a fistful of his new top and tugging him upwards so that he's forced to lean on his elbows.
"Were you worried? If so, there was no need to be." She removes her hand from the shirt, fingers trailing along the side of his face and tickling behind his ear before threading through his hair. "Just between the two of us, I've been appreciating your figure just as much as I've noticed you've been admiring mine, Ka-ne-ki-san"
Needless to say, there isn't much verbal bantering after that.
xxxxx
They rarely argue but whenever they do, it never lasts long and they make up soon after.
Her brother always grumbles that it's because they're "so freakishly" compatible.
Kaneki is more of the belief that it has to do with what his mother taught him when he was younger about listening to your partner and trying to understand them. He's sure that she's happy about being able to ingrain those values in him given that she adores Touka-chan so much herself. When he watches those two chat it makes him truly glad that they've gotten along so well - not that he'd had any doubt.
Reminding himself of this, he winces before opening the door to his place and beginning to remove his shoes.
Hopefully Touka-chan won't get too upset.
"I'm back."
"Welcome ho-" Her eyes widen and she cuts her sentence short the moment she sees him. It's not difficult to determine the reason when he's dripping blood all over the area. "What happened?"
"I was stabbed in the eye while defending myself against a ghoul investigator. It's okay though - I managed to slice off their legs (using the move you taught me) so they couldn't track us down and I made it out just fine." He moves in for a hug, trying to play it off as no big deal.
Only she avoids it by taking a step back, shaking her head.
"How can you say that so easily?" She's trembling as she speaks, clearly upset.
He stays silent, unwilling to cause her worry, belatedly realizing that it's not the best response.
"What's with that?" she yells, now ruffled, repeatedly clenching and unclenching her fists.
"Touka-chan, I -"
He reaches a hand out to her but she slaps it away.
"Please don't" Her voice is eerily calm - a sure sign that she's distressed." I think I just need some time to calm down."
She exits the room and he sags against the wall, glaring at the ceiling.
She sounds disappointed in him and although he probably could have gotten riled at her for not listening to him in turn, he knows that it's her way of showing how much she cares.
When she returns 15 minutes later, it takes him no time at all to get up, cross the expanse of the room and enfold her in his arms as she squeezes him tight and murmurs her apologies.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." She mumbles, nuzzling her head into his chest, "Their technology is getting better and even though we've been training for it, I'm just scared that one day they're going to find you and use their new weapons to take you away from me."
"Hey...I'm sorry too. It's not that I don't trust you, we're partners till the end,right? I just don't want to worry you." He brushes her hair back behind her ear, "Just know that I don't intend to leave you alone."
He means it too.
After a while she leaves for the washroom. When she comes back she tosses him an item which he frowns at, but dutifully puts on.
It's all worth it when she beams at him and intertwines their fingers together.
It's momentarily silent until she breaks it with her question.
"You're so quiet. Are you still sulking because you have to wear that eyepatch?"
He lifts a hand to his covered left eye. The blood has long since dried and the gash has completely disappeared but he leaves it on because she took the time to find it and give it to him.
"It's not too bad actually but I would feel much better after a kiss."
The best way to reconcile after a heated exchange - well, it's all a matter of compassion and compromise.
xxxxx
"What happened this time?"
It's a valid question. Even though there hasn't been any recent encounters with the ghoul investigators, the worry is always present in the back of their minds especially after his last run in with them.
His face is bruised and he's bleeding from a minor tear in his side as she rushes to disinfect his wound (even though she's aware that he'll heal quickly).
He avoids her gaze but she doesn't miss his brief glance over at her family photo.
"You must be joking... Ayato? That little brat. I know it took some time for him to come around to us dating but you guys have been getting along just fine for over a year now."
He can't very well inform her that it was a result of him announcing to her family his intentions to marry her.
That would ruin the element of surprise.
At least her parents had given him their approval right away. Ayato had only agreed based on a certain condition. One in which he had conveniently neglected to mention would be a punch to his face and abdomen until after it was already done.
"Good, you barely went down so I guess I can entrust you to protect aneki." Kaneki had opened his mouth to retort that Touka was capable enough on her own when Ayato continued,"I know that she's able to take care of herself but it does ease my mind that you can handle yourself against ghoul investigators - not that it would have mattered since she really cares about you. She's happy and I suppose I have to thank you for that."
The recollection made him feel as if he'd proven himself to those most important to her.
"Touka-chan, it's fine, he just wanted to test my mettle."
She remains baffled for the rest of the night but he'll explain it to her ... eventually.
xxxxx
He's contemplated the best way to propose for so many days and yet it turns out nothing like planned.
Not when he trips and they both tumble against the wall.
Especially not when the ring falls out of his palm and into her lap as his hands brace themselves against the wall about her head.
She takes one look at the ring and then glances at his frustrated face in front of her, momentarily puzzled before she grasps its significance.
"You've become bold - 5 years ago you would have jumped away immediately" She cheekily states, cheeks bright red, eyes soft and gleaming, "it's quite attractive."
And then clasping the ring in between both their hands, rests her forehead against his own and whispers the words he most wants to hear.
"Yes, I accept. Let's get married."
Not that it's important or anything but she calls him Ken for the first time too.
xxxxx
There's been many steps (some bumpy, others smooth) he's taken to end up where he is now.
He gazes at Touka sitting by the window of the cafe that they had recently opened together, her wedding ring engraved with their names glinting in the sunlight as she downs her cup of coffee while rubbing her pregnant swollen belly, and reflects on his memories of growing up. Of all the events that had made him detest being born a ghoul.
Admittedly, the situation with the ghoul investigators hasn't gotten much better and there's no guarantee what the future holds. However, those bad remembrances are now cancelled out when he thinks of what he was able to discover thanks to being a ghoul - Touka and his soon to be born child. If he wasn't a ghoul perhaps he wouldn't have met her at Anteiku or maybe they wouldn't have clicked and if there's one thing that he will never regret - it's the life that he's been able to build with her.
At the end of the day, all it takes is for her to toss him a smile filled with love or a witty comment to make him believe that maybe this "shitty ghoul life" he's been living isn't so bad after all.