Disclaimer: we own nothing..blah blah blah
Author's Note: My sister and I wrote this after reading a fanfiction (that shall not be named), which inspired us to do a parody, if you will. It's just to laugh at so if you don't have a sense of homour…turn back now this is your last chance!
Warning: Cathrine hating, character death, making fun of other fanfictions, slash. (all in good fun, we love the show with all of our hearts) Serious out of characterness.
Greg skipped into the CSI break room, his usual entrance on such a late evening. Warrick was a short way behind, strutting and posing every few steps. He paused and looked down at his shirt…three buttons undone… could he pull off four? As he cocked an eyebrow, undid the tempting fourth, and smiled with approval.
Nick finally waltzed in, noticed Warrick's shirt and tried not to blush…he was just so masculine.
Grissom grimly waddled in, clearing his throat he somberly looked at his team "I have some unfortunate news" he brushed away a pure, clear, beautiful, feminine, angelic, heart-broken, blue tear "Catherine, was killed by her pimp" he stopped abruptly to let his team gasp and for Nick to run to the ladies room, whimpering with each hop, to wash away his tears and freshen up…reapply his eyeliner and other such girlie things.
Once he returned, Warrick had undone yet another button (the shirt just didn't seem to want to hide his ever so manly chest), and Greg was eyeing Grissom with an impish grin. 'He looks so sad…I should go comfort him' he thought to himself 'and if my hand accidentally slipped south…wait! No! I can't take advantage of him like that! He's too fragile.'
"And her death is the case that we'll be solving, quite conveniently, in the rest of this hour, before ER" he finished; as Nick's freshly applied Axe scent reached his nose, and quickened his pulse.
"Oh, that show has become so much more interesting since that hunk of man flesh Shane West joined the cast" Greg swooned as he flipped through a Vogue.
"Anyway…her spot on the corner will be filled with Lindsay, who we all know has been around the block a few times…if you know what I mean"
Nick stroked his chiseled chin tentatively and pondered 'What does he mean? Is this another one of his profoundly, philosophical questions? Like 'the evidence never lies'. Just remember milk, wait no… water' side bar: shout out to all of you die hard fans!
Grissom frowned at the youngest CSI member "Greg don't look so proud"
Greg just mumbled "I had to lose my virginity sometime" and forced himself not to add 'to prepare my self for you, lover'. He batted his eyelashes flirtatiously and twirled one of his freshly dyed blond locks around his finger.
Warrick was carefully quaffing his hair as he stared into his pocket mirror, when Sarah walked in beaming.
"Hey guys" she greeted through a large gape toothed smile. If you read the CSI books you know where this description of the smile is coming from…if not…read them, any of them. You think our betrayal of the characters are bad!
Grissom gave her a grief-ridden look and carefully asked, "You haven't heard?"
Her grin didn't flicker "Yeah, Catherine's dead," she punched Grissom lightly in the shoulder "Don't look so down chum, don't worry you're among friends you can show your true feelings"
Greg's breath caught in his throat. 'Could this the moment when he reveals his truth feelings about me? Oh if only it could be so! My life could finally begin and it can have some meaning!' he hoped. Sadly his prayers went unanswered as Grissom just shook his head. 'Damn you unfeeling God' he thought bitterly 'are you jealous of my immense beauty?'
Suddenly Nick's phone began to ring, his distinctive 'It's raining men' ring tone caught everyone's attention. "Stokes" he answered trying to sound important, he nodded curtly grunting "hmm" every so often, adding to his air of importance. "I'll tell them" he finished before closing his nifty phone.
"Was that Brass?" Grissom asked, as he stuck the end of the earpiece of his glasses into his mouth.
Greg looked longingly at it wishing it were he in its stead.
"No, my hair appointment was confirmed" he said matter of factly.
"Nick, you shaved off your hair" Sara pointed out, observantly. Good for you Sara
Nick let out a little yelp, threw his hands up in the air and brought them swiftly to his head to see if it was true. Feeling his stubble of a haircut he let out a little whimper and ran, yet again, to the ladies room.
Grissom watched him go, shaking his head, at his emotional team member. "We should get to the crime scene, the action isn't going to come to us"
"Obviously not, she's dead" Sara said, humor lacing her voice.
"Hey!" Grissom protested "I'm supposed to end it with a punch line"
Who are you? Who? Who? Who?
Possible TBC
A/N: hope you enjoyed reading as much as we enjoyed writing!