Another Goodbye

I picked up the phone, though I knew I shouldn't. I'd already let him go, let him out of my life or so I'd thought. But tomorrow was the Big Day, my wedding day. The one I hadn't invited him to, one of the last days I would be human I was going to let go of everything in my human life, including him. I just wanted to talk to him once more, to hear his voice. I knew that I'd already put him (and myself) through a great deal of pain. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to talk to me, I just wanted to try. I wanted to just hear him one last time. My fingers began to press the buttons, dialing his number. The phone rang, once, twice, three times I was beginning to get a bit nervous. What if he didn't pick up? What if he didn't want to talk to me? What if he hated me? Why did I care so much about him, he was suppose to be out of my life? The phone continued to ring.

"What are you doing?" came a soft musical voice from behind me.

I jumped in shock and hit the off button, setting the phone on the desk. "Ummm nothing," I lied.

"You don't have to lie to me Bella," said Edward. I could see the pain on his face, though he tried to hide it. It hurt me a bit to know what I caused the pain on that beautiful face. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, I should do this to him. It wasn't right, so I lied again.

"Alright you caught me, I was trying to call Renee," I said, the lie sounding surprisingly truthful. I ranted a little bit, surprised at how easy it was to lie to him about this. "I know I promised I wouldn't again, but I'm worried. I mean her flight was suppose to be here like half an hour again, what if she missed it? Or got on the wrong plane?"

He laughed, the pain erased, a mixture of amusement and relief crossing his features. "Bella, Alice just got back with Renee five minutes ago. That's why I came up to get you."

I let a smile cross my face, I suppose the lie had come so naturally because I really was worried about Renee, in the back of my mind. "Really?"

"Yes, now come on,"he said, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me out of my room and downstairs. "Everyone wants to see the bride."

"I won't be the bride until tomorrow," I pointed out with a smile.

"Either way, they want to see you," he said.

He was right, everyone wanted to see me. I had forgotten that tonight was my bridal shower, Edward and his brothers as well as Charlie and Carlisle all headed out for the batcher party. I had invited only a few people to my bridal shower, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Renee, Angela and myself made up the small group. We played games and talked a lot, the party progressing both slowly and quickly at the same time. For each time I thought about Jacob, the party seemed to lag on and I wondered if it were possible for vampires to control time, though I knew it weren't. However, when I didn't pay attention to the time and just let myself have fun it flew by. Finally, the party broke up and I was free to go to my room and try to call Jake again.

I sighed as I sat down on my bed, staring at the phone for a moment. Thinking of the visible pain Edward had been in, as much as it'd hurt him I know that I had to do this. I needed to talk to him again, I'd already decided that. I walked over to the desk where I had sat it earlier. Once more I dialed the familiar number, I listened to the phone ring. It rang five times, I thought no one would pick up, but on the sixth ring I was proven wrong.

"Hello?" came the gruff voice of Billy.

"Hello, Billy. It's Bella," I said. "Is Jake there?"

"No," I was surprised at how much emotion the small word held. Anger, pain, sadness...

"Where is he?" I asked, worried by his reaction. Did something happen to him? If so I would never forgive myself.

"I don't know," he said.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked, the panic in my voice was heard.

"He left, after he got that invitation," the anger was directed toward me, I realized, shocked.

"What invitation?" I asked, confused.

"Your wedding invitation," he said the word wedding as if it burned.

"I didn't send him an invitation," I said.

"Well then your blood-sucker did," he said. "Either way he's gone. Goodbye Bella."

My mind raced trying to comprehend what I had just heard. Jacob was gone, he'd left after he got the invitation to my wedding, I couldn't really get that through my head. So I simply stared at the phone for a while, as if expecting it to explain what just happened to me. Finally, I hung up the phone and decided to try and get some sleep. I laid down in my bed, trying to go to sleep.

My thoughts returned to Jacob, how could he be gone? How could my best friend, whom I loved be gone? And because of me? Of something that had to do with me? I felt disgusted, I hadn't ever felt worse about myself in my life. My own personal sun, had burned out. I was the cause, and though my world wasn't ending... the sky wasn't falling... it was an earthquake. I knew it might have been worse if I hadn't already pushed him out of my life... let him go... as best I could. I stared at the celing for hours, memories of him and I replaying in my head. When I finally did fall asleep, it was uneasy, and not very restful.

I stared at myself in the full length mirror. I had to admit that I looked good, Alice had good taste. My dress was classic, as if out of a fairy tale book. It was strapless and was fit perfectly for me, it luckily wasn't poofy at the bottom, though it still went out. My hair was pulled back into some elegant style that I hadn't really had any say in, it had hurt a bit though. Woven into my hair were white lilies, and sitting atop of my head was a small tiara. It sparkled with diamonds, that were real, much to my enormous protest.

"I told you you'd look great," Alice said, entering the room behind me. I turned to face her and instantly felt a little jealous. It wasn't fair that she should get to look better then me on the most important day of my life. Her dress was a light periwinkle that flowed a bit, and her hair was done up beautifully.

"Yeah don't brag," I said.

"Anyway, Charlie is waiting for you, you're up soon," she said.

I nodded and followed her out of the room and outside to the doors separating me from Edward. I stood next to Charlie until the music began, that was my cue. We began walking down the asile together, my eyes on Edward as I smiled and approched him.

"You look beautiful Bells," Charlie said softly.

I smiled. "Thanks Dad," I said. I took my eyes off of Edward for a moment and let them scan the audience once, looking for him, in vain. I had hoped that maybe my best friend would have showed up; he hadn't. As small stab of pain went through me, I don't know why I had so much hope he'd show, but I had.

I sighed softly to myself and whispered. "Goodbye Jacob." I let my best friend and my love for him fall behind me there as I took the final steps toward Edward, toward becoming Isabella Cullen... toward eternity.

A/N: Be sure to leave a review and tell me what you think :)