A/N: I am American, and I find this song funny because it just shows that we can make fun of ourselves. I'm not racist, nor do I endorse it. I just thought it was pretty damn funny, since I can imagine how awkward Steve can get.

"Oh, CAPTAIN!" Tony sang as he walked into the command center where the Avengers were sitting, eating breakfast. Steve sighed, and put down the black coffee he was about to sip. "What is it this time, you blubber-minded nitwit?" Tony clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "You're busting out the bad words this early in the morning? Sinful!" He smirked. Clint rolled his eyes, knowing what was coming next. Bruce choked on his orange juice trying to suppress a chuckle. Natasha kept eating her cereal, ignoring the childish antics of her colleagues. Thor was rummaging through the fridge, muttering about how the puny, weak mortals don't have any mead. Pulling out his phone, Tony clicked on a song with a flourish. "I do believe that we have a theme song for you, Cap."

God, did he enjoy making Steve squirm.

Pushing play, some power chords surrounded them before a chorus of male voices started to sing. Badly.

"America… Ameriiiiicaaaa…"

Steve sat back in his chair, rolling his eyes and folding his arms across his broad chest.

"AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!"

Nearly jumping out of his seat at the obscenity, Steve's face turned a delicate shade of pink. "Please, Tony, stop. There's a young dame in the room. It's not meant for her ears! Or anyone's ears, really!" He gestured to Natasha. She laughed at his attempt to make the torment stop. Natasha responded by singing the next few lines along with the song, making Steve blush even deeper.

"Coming again to save the motherfuckin' day YEAH!

America, FUCK YEAH!

Freedom is the only way yeah,"

Steve groaned and put his hands over his face. "Really?"

"Terrorist your game is through,

'cause now you have to answer to

America, FUCK YEAH!

So lick my butt and suck on my ba-"

"TONY! Stop this right now! It's horribly inappropriate!" Steve pleaded.

"Nope."

"What're you going to do when we come for you now,

it's the dream that we all share; it's the hope for tomorrowwww!"

Clint and Bruce were smiling like Cheshire cats. "Don't worry, Cap. It gets better." Bruce laughed and grinned at Tony. All three men took a deep breath as the next part of the song came on.

"FUCK YEAH!"

"Please, can't we all be adults here?" Steve tried to reason. But the men started to sing.

"McDonald's, FUCK YEAH!

Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH!"

"I don't even know what those are! A farm and a farm for overweight people?" Natasha laughed at how accurate Steve's guess was.

"The Gap, FUCK YEAH!

Baseball, FUCK YEAH!

NFL, FUCK YEAH!

Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!"

"My head hurts!" Steve cried out.

"The Internet, FUCK YEAH!

Slavery, FUCK YEAH!

FUCK YEAH!"

"What IS the Internet? YOU ARE AWFUL PEOPLE! Slavery is horrible!" Steve stood up, and the singing trio just got louder as they sang the next verse.

"Starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
Disney world, FUCK YEAH!"

"What are these places?"

"Porno, FUCK YEAH!
Valium, FUCK YEAH!
Reeboks, FUCK YEAH!"

"Porno? Valium?" Steve looked hopelessly at Natasha, who just shrugged her shoulders, but laughed. He didn't need to be introduced to porn just yet.

"Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH!
Sushi, FUCK YEAH!
Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH!
Rodeos, FUCK YEAH!

Bed, Bath and Beyond!"

"Tits? What are tits? A cow's udders? Taco Bell? What is a taco?" Steve scratched his head. He didn't care about the vulgarity of the language; the other terms they were using were just too confusing. What in God's name was a tit?

"Liberty, FUCK YEAH!
White Slips, FUCK YEAH!
The Alamo, FUCK YEAH!
Band-aids, FUCK YEAH!"

Steve was getting frustrated. "What's a band-aid? White slips?"

"Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH!
Christmas, FUCK YEAH!
Immigrants, FUCK YEAH!
Popeye, FUCK YEAH!
Democrats, FUCK YEAH!"

"Will you PLEASE stop singing that song and explain what the hell all of these things are?" He yelled at the trio. The song died away as the three exchanged surprised looks. "What, you didn't like the song, Captain? It describes everything you fight for! It's the colors you represent! Who you're named after!" Tony walked around the very red man. Steve sighed. "Tony, I will probably agree with you, but I have a few questions." Bemused, Tony asked what.

"What is a tit?"